"Show show show, here we go"
Cold Open: McLaughlin Group
5 Stars
Things get absurd on a political talk show
This is the second time we've seen this sketch and I would be as bold as to say that if every episode started with this I wouldn't complain. I can't get enough of Dana Carvey under old age makeup asking bizarre questions and then getting straight answers before delivering the correct and ludicrous answer.
"On a scale of 14 - 32, how likely is it that Gorbachev will break ranks?"
"21?"
"Wrong! The correct answer is 19.24. You were close."
"Who was my favorite Beatle?"
"John?"
"Wrong!"
"Paul?"
"Wrong!"
"I'm gonna say Paul."
"Wrong! They were all equally fab."
Other questions include is the universe infinite and if not what is at the end?, the answer is a brick wall guarded by a very mean dog, what does this ink blot look like?, my mother stealing my penis and which hand is the gold coin in?, it's not in either hand, it's behind his ear. I've said this many times before but I can't see a sketch like this working today. The current cast would be all giggles and it would be ruined. The funniest thing about this is that it's played completely straight.
Alec Baldwin Monologue
This is the second time we've seen this sketch and I would be as bold as to say that if every episode started with this I wouldn't complain. I can't get enough of Dana Carvey under old age makeup asking bizarre questions and then getting straight answers before delivering the correct and ludicrous answer.
"On a scale of 14 - 32, how likely is it that Gorbachev will break ranks?"
"21?"
"Wrong! The correct answer is 19.24. You were close."
"Who was my favorite Beatle?"
"John?"
"Wrong!"
"Paul?"
"Wrong!"
"I'm gonna say Paul."
"Wrong! They were all equally fab."
Other questions include is the universe infinite and if not what is at the end?, the answer is a brick wall guarded by a very mean dog, what does this ink blot look like?, my mother stealing my penis and which hand is the gold coin in?, it's not in either hand, it's behind his ear. I've said this many times before but I can't see a sketch like this working today. The current cast would be all giggles and it would be ruined. The funniest thing about this is that it's played completely straight.
Alec Baldwin Monologue
4 Stars
Alec and others suffer a moment of doubt
Alec walks out to one of the bigger applause breaks we've gotten this season. I suppose it's warranted as he tells us that the last time he hosted the show got nominated for an Emmy. Then things take a turn as we hear Alec's inner monologue. He's not sure if he should have brought up the Emmy. It might make him sound cocky. He tries to recover by saying that anybody would look good with this cast, they even did a good show with Dennis Hopper. Again, he regrets his statement. Maybe putting down Dennis Hopper was a bad idea, it might make him sound more cocky. We also get inner monologues of Victoria who is worried about Alec, Joe Disco who is worried that he's not good at his job, Jon Lovitz who thinks it was a mistake to leave the show and a guy in the audience sitting backwards worried that he's facing the wrong way.
The Dancer
Alec walks out to one of the bigger applause breaks we've gotten this season. I suppose it's warranted as he tells us that the last time he hosted the show got nominated for an Emmy. Then things take a turn as we hear Alec's inner monologue. He's not sure if he should have brought up the Emmy. It might make him sound cocky. He tries to recover by saying that anybody would look good with this cast, they even did a good show with Dennis Hopper. Again, he regrets his statement. Maybe putting down Dennis Hopper was a bad idea, it might make him sound more cocky. We also get inner monologues of Victoria who is worried about Alec, Joe Disco who is worried that he's not good at his job, Jon Lovitz who thinks it was a mistake to leave the show and a guy in the audience sitting backwards worried that he's facing the wrong way.
The Dancer
2 Stars
An exercise machine that uses the power of dance
Dana is busy at the office and doesn't have time to exercise. The most efficient form of exercise is dance, or so an announcer tells us, thus introducing 'The Dancer'. We get some shots of Dana doing silly dances while giving a presentation and Evander Holyfield dancing silly. As far as commercial parodies go, this was a bit on the weak side.
The Honest Planet
Dana is busy at the office and doesn't have time to exercise. The most efficient form of exercise is dance, or so an announcer tells us, thus introducing 'The Dancer'. We get some shots of Dana doing silly dances while giving a presentation and Evander Holyfield dancing silly. As far as commercial parodies go, this was a bit on the weak side.
The Honest Planet
2 Stars
A business meeting taking place in a world without lies
Did Ricky Gervais use this as the basis for Invention Of Lying? If you've seen the trailer for that movie then you've seen this sketch. Alec and Victoria catch Phil overcharging them but admit that it would be inconvienent to do business with someone else. Phil admits to gouging prices and also admits to going to visit the dumper before going on a 3 hour lunch. Dana comes in excited about getting a promotion but everyone else is noticably upset.
"I didn't want the position myself but I resent seeing you get it."
Alec asks Julia out to lunch but she declines because she doesn't like him. Then they both admit to farting. It's the most pure example of a one joke sketch. Everybody bluntly tells the truth and they keep doing it again and again and again.
The Sinead O'Connor Awards
Did Ricky Gervais use this as the basis for Invention Of Lying? If you've seen the trailer for that movie then you've seen this sketch. Alec and Victoria catch Phil overcharging them but admit that it would be inconvienent to do business with someone else. Phil admits to gouging prices and also admits to going to visit the dumper before going on a 3 hour lunch. Dana comes in excited about getting a promotion but everyone else is noticably upset.
"I didn't want the position myself but I resent seeing you get it."
Alec asks Julia out to lunch but she declines because she doesn't like him. Then they both admit to farting. It's the most pure example of a one joke sketch. Everybody bluntly tells the truth and they keep doing it again and again and again.
The Sinead O'Connor Awards
3 Stars
O'Connor gives out awards to the people in the music industry she despises
Sinead O'Connor has created her own awards to honor those in the business whose greed for material success has poisoned the industry. Her co-host is Paul McCartney, played by Dana who provides most of the laughs in this very long sketch. Phil Collins wins Most Meaningless Lyrics, Alec Baldwin as Bono reads the voting rules and Frank Sinatra wins the award for The Person Who Best Represents Everything I Despise About The Music Industry. This sketch was way too long and could have benefited from some trimming but it did provide a few solid laughs. Dana as a impish jabber spouting McCartney always provides chuckles, Tim Meadows sells out as Tracy Chapman going from bluesy Chapman to shaking her butt and singing 'Funky Wah-Wah' and Chris Farley grinning like an idiot as Carnie Wilson from Wilson Phillips is one of the funniest things ever.
Whitney Houston
"I'm Your Baby Tonight"
"I'm Your Baby Tonight"
This song is like a mixture between upbeat and poppy Whitney Houston and one of the more beautiful songs that shows off her incredible range. It's very good but not one of my favorites.
Lank Thompson: I'm A Handsome Actor
Lank Thompson: I'm A Handsome Actor
3 Stars
Lank Thompson teaches you how to act with your looks rather than talent
Lank Thompson wasn't always a handsome actor. He used to be a plain actor, he was talented but not handsome. Now he can get any part he wants. He has taught his technique to such success stories as Robert Wagner, Patrick Duffy, David Hasselhoff and Alec Baldwin. Alec comes out to demonstrate some handsome acting skills like beginning every scene with your back to the camera, never dial a phone before you speak into it and always wear glasses so you can snap them off for a handsome effect. A young Conan O'Brien asks from the audience how Lank can explain the success of Gerard Depardieu but Lank has run out of time for questions. There's always been something about this sketch that I don't like and I can't put my finger on it. I feel like I should laugh at this but I just don't find it funny.
Pan Am
Lank Thompson wasn't always a handsome actor. He used to be a plain actor, he was talented but not handsome. Now he can get any part he wants. He has taught his technique to such success stories as Robert Wagner, Patrick Duffy, David Hasselhoff and Alec Baldwin. Alec comes out to demonstrate some handsome acting skills like beginning every scene with your back to the camera, never dial a phone before you speak into it and always wear glasses so you can snap them off for a handsome effect. A young Conan O'Brien asks from the audience how Lank can explain the success of Gerard Depardieu but Lank has run out of time for questions. There's always been something about this sketch that I don't like and I can't put my finger on it. I feel like I should laugh at this but I just don't find it funny.
Pan Am
3 Stars
An exciting new promotion at Pan Am
Due to recent world events (I'm not sure what they are referring to) people have grown concerned about international air travel. That's why now at Pan Am, when you fly to Brussels, Rome or London you get to keep the plane. I'm sure this was a topical reference to something at the time. Now, 30 years later, it's just a short and silly commercial.
Weekend Update
Due to recent world events (I'm not sure what they are referring to) people have grown concerned about international air travel. That's why now at Pan Am, when you fly to Brussels, Rome or London you get to keep the plane. I'm sure this was a topical reference to something at the time. Now, 30 years later, it's just a short and silly commercial.
Weekend Update
"I haven't seen choreography that stiff since the Lee Harvey Oswald prison transfer"
Once again, a lot of jokes about Iraq and Saddam. A couple bits of non-war related material included Reagan asking to be buried on the grounds of his presidential library but making sure he's dead first and Joel Siegel's review of Sleeping With The Enemy which declared he was sitting on the edge of his neighbor's seat making it clear why Joel likes going to so many movies.
Bob Dylan shows up to finish his Grammy speech that was cut short. Dylan mumbles incoherently while Miller translates until Miller himself has trouble understanding. He needs the help of another one of the Traveling Wilburys, Tom Petty. They speak nonsense words to each other before singing Free Fallin'.
The Godfather Part IV
1 Star
The Godfather saga is transported to space, for some reason
I don’t know where to start with this one. Alec Baldwin is playing Michael Corleone but he’s a spaceman. He’s granting favors on his daughter’s wedding day. Another spaceman wants to sell drugs to the lizard people on Jupiter. Spock is his consigliere. There’s an incredibly long and unfunny montage where they cut together the final scene of The Godfather with clips of space battles. Remember in The Godfather Part III when Michael says “They keep pulling me back in”? Well I hope you think that’s funny because they say that line 4 times in this sketch. As this was going on I kept writing down, “Is this still going on?”. At one point they kill Baldwin and I’m thinking, great, sketch is over. Then they cut to Earth where they are keeping his brain in a jar. Then that brain in a jar has a scene with Jan Hooks playing Kay. This was relentlessly bad, a sure fire contender for worst of the season.
I'm Chillin'
I don’t know where to start with this one. Alec Baldwin is playing Michael Corleone but he’s a spaceman. He’s granting favors on his daughter’s wedding day. Another spaceman wants to sell drugs to the lizard people on Jupiter. Spock is his consigliere. There’s an incredibly long and unfunny montage where they cut together the final scene of The Godfather with clips of space battles. Remember in The Godfather Part III when Michael says “They keep pulling me back in”? Well I hope you think that’s funny because they say that line 4 times in this sketch. As this was going on I kept writing down, “Is this still going on?”. At one point they kill Baldwin and I’m thinking, great, sketch is over. Then they cut to Earth where they are keeping his brain in a jar. Then that brain in a jar has a scene with Jan Hooks playing Kay. This was relentlessly bad, a sure fire contender for worst of the season.
I'm Chillin'
3 Stars
Two homeboys host a show
If there’s one thing that looks sillier than Chris Farley acting like a black street thug, it’s Chris Rock acting like a black street thug. I never fully grasped the concept of this sketch. The two of them are not realistic as these characters, there’s something silly about their performances, but is that the joke? Is the joke that these two are posers? If that’s the case then it’s never made clear. Is there supposed to be any commentary layered underneath or is just meant to be silly? If it’s just for silly sake then they succeed. There’s a your mother joke of the day where the winner gets a loud ass keep and a four finger ring like the one Don Parsi wears. Tim shows up at the end as Flavor Flav to wish our soldiers over seas a safe return, especially his buddy whose wife he’s banging.
Whitney Houston returns with "All The Man I Need". All right, this is more like it. This is Whitney blowing the roof off with her incredible voice.
Reconciliation
3 Stars
A woman enjoys how handsome her priest is
Julia starts her confession but is interrupted when the priest says that they have a new policy where they can pull back the screen and talk face to face if the confessor so chooses. When Julia sees that her priest is a hot young hunk of Alec Baldwin she instantly starts acting like a little school girl. While I didn’t think this was the funniest thing ever I did think Julia was very fun and Alec made a good straight man. I liked when Julia confessed to having impure thoughts, very recently and when she lost all control over Alec’s description of how he eats an Oreo.
“I like to spread the cookie open and eat the creamy center.”
Julia starts her confession but is interrupted when the priest says that they have a new policy where they can pull back the screen and talk face to face if the confessor so chooses. When Julia sees that her priest is a hot young hunk of Alec Baldwin she instantly starts acting like a little school girl. While I didn’t think this was the funniest thing ever I did think Julia was very fun and Alec made a good straight man. I liked when Julia confessed to having impure thoughts, very recently and when she lost all control over Alec’s description of how he eats an Oreo.
“I like to spread the cookie open and eat the creamy center.”
Cyrano de Bergerac
4 Stars
A black Cyrano helps a man get funky
Alec is reciting poetry under Jan’s bedroom window and she is not into it. He needs help from Cyrano De Bergerac, played by Tim but instead of having a long nose he is cursed with the widest nose in all of France. He agrees to help woo the fair young lady so they sneak in late at night, Tim hides behind a tree and a Barry White song starts playing while Alec mouths his words.
“I’m gonna massage your neck, your thighs, kiss you in places that will make you cross your eyes, right on.”
Jan rushes out in excitement and finds both men. While she realizes that it was Cyrano’s voice she fell for, she likes Alec’s face better. We transition to Alec and Jan making love while Tim reads the paper and says thing like “Oh baby, Oh yeah”. A very funny 10-1 sketch.
Alec is reciting poetry under Jan’s bedroom window and she is not into it. He needs help from Cyrano De Bergerac, played by Tim but instead of having a long nose he is cursed with the widest nose in all of France. He agrees to help woo the fair young lady so they sneak in late at night, Tim hides behind a tree and a Barry White song starts playing while Alec mouths his words.
“I’m gonna massage your neck, your thighs, kiss you in places that will make you cross your eyes, right on.”
Jan rushes out in excitement and finds both men. While she realizes that it was Cyrano’s voice she fell for, she likes Alec’s face better. We transition to Alec and Jan making love while Tim reads the paper and says thing like “Oh baby, Oh yeah”. A very funny 10-1 sketch.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Thank you Alec, you performed that handsomely"
Average
3 Stars
MVP
Tim Meadows
The Sinead O'Connor Awards, I'm Chillin', Cyrano De Bergerac
The Sinead O'Connor Awards, I'm Chillin', Cyrano De Bergerac
Best Sketch
The McLaughlin Group
Worst Sketch
The Godfather Part IV
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
I would put Sinead O'Connor Awards and Lank Thompson up front and move The Honest Planet to the after Update slot. As for The Godfather Part IV, there's no saving that. Definitely shorten it. It's a one joke sketch, it doesn't need to be 8 minutes long.
Host Analysis
It wasn't until the end when we got Reconciliation and Cyrano De Bergerac that I saw the Alec Baldwin I like. He's an excellent straight man and his real talent lies in being able to make that straight man role funny. He doesn't have any jokes in either of those sketches but he's getting all the laughs because he's just a good actor. When he is tasked to be funny like in every other sketch this episode, it's not as good. The Godfather Part IV was not a good sketch because it had no focus and was too long but it also didn't help that Baldwin was hamming it up as Pacino trying in vain to get laughs. Same thing can be said for his Bono impression and when he played himself in Lank Thompson.
Final Thoughts
A very average episode. The solid 3 star average shows that. Only one sketch was great, only one sketch was terrible, everything else was middle of the road. I think this episode may have been hurt by high expectations. I'm expecting Baldwin to hit it out of the park but I also need to remember that this was only his 2nd time hosting.
Up Next
I remember the Michael J. Fox episode from my childhood, I must have had it on VHS tape. I remember the monologue had Dana and Spade both playing Fox, the cold open has Fox playing Dan Quayle and there's a sketch about former child stars and the elevator guys from the Sting episode return. Add The Black Crowes to that and I think it's gonna be a good one.
Couldn’t disagree more on The Godfather part IV
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