"Gonna go back in time"
Cold Open: The President's Second Post-Gulf War Address
3 Stars
Vice President Dan Quayle can’t figure out standing ovations
There’s a big lead up to George Bush giving a speech to Congress, almost as if we’re watching an actual state of the union address. By the time he gets to speaking I’m already a little bored. The gag here is simple. Quayle keeps getting the timing wrong on when to give Bush a standing ovation. He stands when nobody else stands, he stays seated when everybody stands, and that joke keeps getting repeated. While the idea is solid I had a problem with the execution. The sketch is so long. Before the gag they keep cutting to footage of senators standing and clapping, then you get the joke of Quayle doing the wrong thing, then there’s another 30 seconds of Bush winding up for the next line. It was a poorly timed piece and they didn’t even try to incorporate the sign on. Bush just looks at Quayle, shrugs, then turns to the camera to scream, “Live from New York...”.
There’s a big lead up to George Bush giving a speech to Congress, almost as if we’re watching an actual state of the union address. By the time he gets to speaking I’m already a little bored. The gag here is simple. Quayle keeps getting the timing wrong on when to give Bush a standing ovation. He stands when nobody else stands, he stays seated when everybody stands, and that joke keeps getting repeated. While the idea is solid I had a problem with the execution. The sketch is so long. Before the gag they keep cutting to footage of senators standing and clapping, then you get the joke of Quayle doing the wrong thing, then there’s another 30 seconds of Bush winding up for the next line. It was a poorly timed piece and they didn’t even try to incorporate the sign on. Bush just looks at Quayle, shrugs, then turns to the camera to scream, “Live from New York...”.
Michael J. Fox Monologue
3 Stars
Doc Brown helps Michael go back in time to save the show
After a poorly received joke about Michael’s new movie The Hard Way (it’s gonna be hard to weigh all the money it will make), Doc Brown and Michael J. Fox from 90 minutes from now (played by Dana) barge in to save the day. They’ve gone back in time to save Michael from doing the show, which they know is a dud. They go back in time to last week where we see another Michael J. Fox (played by Spade) in Lorne’s office. They tell young Michael what will happen if he hosts the show but Lorne offers them a gigantic bag of money so they agree to do the show anyway. Just like with the cold open, I really liked the idea but I feel like this could have been better. One thing that could have really given this a boost, cast Phil Hartman as Doc Brown.
Rerun of Chia Head
After a poorly received joke about Michael’s new movie The Hard Way (it’s gonna be hard to weigh all the money it will make), Doc Brown and Michael J. Fox from 90 minutes from now (played by Dana) barge in to save the day. They’ve gone back in time to save Michael from doing the show, which they know is a dud. They go back in time to last week where we see another Michael J. Fox (played by Spade) in Lorne’s office. They tell young Michael what will happen if he hosts the show but Lorne offers them a gigantic bag of money so they agree to do the show anyway. Just like with the cold open, I really liked the idea but I feel like this could have been better. One thing that could have really given this a boost, cast Phil Hartman as Doc Brown.
Rerun of Chia Head
Jasper The Clown
3 Stars
A circus owner has a problem with his new clown’s act
Jasper is called into the boss’s office. There was some confusion, the boss thought he was Jasper the singing clown but he actually bills himself as Jasper the stinging clown. He goes out to all the boys and girls and hits them with sewing needles. Jasper tries to defend his act but the boss isn’t having it. A stinging clown just doesn’t fit in with the Friendly Bunny Circus, despite praise from Farley as another clown who barges in halfway through the scene. Jasper is let go as is Farley who we come to find out bills himself as Exposo the clown. Another good idea that I felt should have been better. I think this one was hampered by Fox’s laid back performance. He didn’t seem to believe in his act and I think the sketch would have played funnier if Jasper was a little more confidant in the fact that children like getting hit in the face with needles.
Jasper is called into the boss’s office. There was some confusion, the boss thought he was Jasper the singing clown but he actually bills himself as Jasper the stinging clown. He goes out to all the boys and girls and hits them with sewing needles. Jasper tries to defend his act but the boss isn’t having it. A stinging clown just doesn’t fit in with the Friendly Bunny Circus, despite praise from Farley as another clown who barges in halfway through the scene. Jasper is let go as is Farley who we come to find out bills himself as Exposo the clown. Another good idea that I felt should have been better. I think this one was hampered by Fox’s laid back performance. He didn’t seem to believe in his act and I think the sketch would have played funnier if Jasper was a little more confidant in the fact that children like getting hit in the face with needles.
A Deep Thoughts warns us not to take our dog on a space shuttle because he might want to stick his head out the window.
High School Reunion
1 Star
A guy keeps insinuating murder at a high school reunion
Michael J. Fox is enjoying some punch at his high school reunion when he is accosted by Nealon. After a few friendly rejoinders, Fox mentions that he's having trouble at work due to his foreman. Nealon asks for the foreman's name and says he'll take care of it. Fox also says he's going through a divorce and his ex-wife's lawyer is taking him to the cleaners. Nealon asks for the lawyers name and says he'll take care of it. You see where the joke is going now and it's just gonna keep repeating. Victoria comes over and says her son's teacher gave him detention, Nealon asks for the teacher's name and says he'll take care of it, Dana comes over and says he's sad that Darryl Strawberry left the Mets, Nealon says he'll take care of it, Fox mentions that he lost a bowling tournament because his partner choked, Nealon asks for the guy's name. Eventually everybody leaves and I'm thinking, cool, sketch is over but then Nealon walks into another room. So this sketch that is way too long and the audience doesn't seem to like required two sets. He sees Sandler singing 'Lucille' by Kenny Rogers as part of the band, he asks him who this Lucille girl is that broke his heart and says he'll take care of it. This sketch felt endless and then didn't even have the kindness to leave us with an ending. Nealon is talking to Sandler and then we hear G.E. Smith count off '1, 2, 3!' and start playing. Like G.E. got tired of the sketch and wanted it to end. They couldn't have even given us the lazy newspaper headline ending where it says Daryl Strawberry missing or something?
The Black Crowes
"Thick And Thin"
I always liked The Black Crowes and their rockabilly sensibility. This song was a heck of a lot of fun.
Weekend Update
"I thought I saw this coming when they took that trip together"
"While we were gone the war ended. What was Saddam thinking? I haven't seen a battle plan like that since I was playing Stratego with Judy Landers.". I think that sums up the Persian Gulf war perfectly. It was almost exactly like playing Stratego with Judy Landers. We get a lot of photo jokes this week, the one above as well as one showing George Bush holding his hand up next to Margaret Thatcher, Miller says that Bush whacked her across the face with the back of his hand, then we see a picture of Bush presenting Thatcher with some sort of honor, and then he gave her a medal when she didn't cry. There's another one where Miller says that Secretary of State James Baker has been crazy gluing people's hands to their dicks just because he has two photos of Baker sitting next to people with their hands in their laps. It's a definite style of comedy, I just think it's a weird way to write a joke. You start with a picture in the newspaper and then you caption it.
A. Whitney Brown declares that we won the war and then clarifies that when he says we he means the troops as he, nor anyone in his family, had ever served in the military. He's not exceptionally proud of that but cowardice comes with its rewards. Look in the phone book and you will see a lot more Browns and a lot less Custards.
America's Most Wanted
3 Stars
A crime ring of former child actors plots a heist
John Walsh tells us that 20% of crimes committed in L.A. were by former child actors and the cast of Diff'rent Strokes alone were responsible for 300 muggings and minor thefts. We then get a re-enactment where we see Partridge Family star Danny Bonaduce, Todd Bridges from Diff'rent Strokes, Jody Whitaker from Family Affair, Ernie from My Three Sons, Barry Williams who played Greg Brady and is now a cross dressing cannibal, Mindy Cohn from The Facts Of Life minding the door and Rodney Allen Rippy who I am completely unfamiliar with. They are all hanging out playing poker when in walks Drew Barrymore, 14 years old and with connections to the underworld. Ernie is manufacturing a drug with twice the potency of crack for half the price. Jody tells Danny that he's funny and they do the scene from Goodfellas. I'll give it a pass since this was 1991 and about 6 months after Goodfellas came out so it was before this scene became a complete and lazy cliche. Then Dana comes out as Uncle Charlie from My Three Sons, complaining about how he has to clean up blood and Michael J. Fox (played again by Spade) comes in to try and talk some sense into the group. I feel like this would have had more punch if they hadn't already done this gag in the monologue. Bonaduce shoots Fox and John Walsh tells us that Fox is reportedly alive and well, William Demarest who played Uncle Charlie is reportedly been dead for 9 years and if you see Mindy Cohn you should not look her in the eye.
John Walsh tells us that 20% of crimes committed in L.A. were by former child actors and the cast of Diff'rent Strokes alone were responsible for 300 muggings and minor thefts. We then get a re-enactment where we see Partridge Family star Danny Bonaduce, Todd Bridges from Diff'rent Strokes, Jody Whitaker from Family Affair, Ernie from My Three Sons, Barry Williams who played Greg Brady and is now a cross dressing cannibal, Mindy Cohn from The Facts Of Life minding the door and Rodney Allen Rippy who I am completely unfamiliar with. They are all hanging out playing poker when in walks Drew Barrymore, 14 years old and with connections to the underworld. Ernie is manufacturing a drug with twice the potency of crack for half the price. Jody tells Danny that he's funny and they do the scene from Goodfellas. I'll give it a pass since this was 1991 and about 6 months after Goodfellas came out so it was before this scene became a complete and lazy cliche. Then Dana comes out as Uncle Charlie from My Three Sons, complaining about how he has to clean up blood and Michael J. Fox (played again by Spade) comes in to try and talk some sense into the group. I feel like this would have had more punch if they hadn't already done this gag in the monologue. Bonaduce shoots Fox and John Walsh tells us that Fox is reportedly alive and well, William Demarest who played Uncle Charlie is reportedly been dead for 9 years and if you see Mindy Cohn you should not look her in the eye.
Daily Affirmation
3 Stars
Stuart's time slot is changing and he's upset
Stuart reads a letter from a woman who works in a very dysfunctional environment but is thankful to have his show air during her lunch break so she can feel good about herself. Stuart tells her that he will no longer be on at noon but rather 2:35am. His producer, Roz, made this decision and she is herself dysfunctional and 300 pounds. He then apologizes for mentioning her name and getting angry but continues to do both things up to his affirmation. I still feel like the Stuart Smalley character is growing. I'm not on board yet but I know I will be, his final sketch in season 20 is one of my favorites. I also remember enjoying his movie, I haven't seen it in quite a while but I remember it being a diamond in the rough as far as movies based on sketches go.
The Black Crowes return with "She Talks To Angels". I always liked this song and thought it was sad and beautiful. The way they perform it here makes it seem more like a rock song though than a ballad. Chris Robinson is getting all funky with it when if you just stripped away everything and sang the song straight it would be much more effective.
Not Gettin' Any
Stuart reads a letter from a woman who works in a very dysfunctional environment but is thankful to have his show air during her lunch break so she can feel good about herself. Stuart tells her that he will no longer be on at noon but rather 2:35am. His producer, Roz, made this decision and she is herself dysfunctional and 300 pounds. He then apologizes for mentioning her name and getting angry but continues to do both things up to his affirmation. I still feel like the Stuart Smalley character is growing. I'm not on board yet but I know I will be, his final sketch in season 20 is one of my favorites. I also remember enjoying his movie, I haven't seen it in quite a while but I remember it being a diamond in the rough as far as movies based on sketches go.
The Black Crowes return with "She Talks To Angels". I always liked this song and thought it was sad and beautiful. The way they perform it here makes it seem more like a rock song though than a ballad. Chris Robinson is getting all funky with it when if you just stripped away everything and sang the song straight it would be much more effective.
Not Gettin' Any
2 Stars
5 guys who can't get laid host a show
The question this week is the same as it is every week, we are 5 normal and decent looking guys, how come we're not gettin' any? The guys all take turns talking about the moves they use to pick up chicks and why they don't work and how they think all the girls are lesbians anyway. This sketch had a few moments, mostly from Farley, but went on way too long. We got stories from Fox, Farley and Spade and I was already bored and then I realized that we hadn't heard from Rock or Sandler yet.
We get another Deep Thoughts which questions if the vikings sensed when the age of the vikings was coming to a close. They probably did and slapped each other on the back and said, "Good job".
Elevator
3 Stars
Two fans meet Michael J. Fox in the elevator
Same as the Sting sketch, Dana and Kevin get in an elevator and sing songs to Michael. Kevin starts off with songs from Back To The Future and then Dana sings the theme to Family Ties. One thing this is missing from the Sting version is an ending. That one gave us a coda of Sting hiking up the stairs, this one just fades out. Dana and Kevin are still funny though.
One more Deep Thoughts about how boxing is like ballet except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
FINAL ANALYSIS
Same as the Sting sketch, Dana and Kevin get in an elevator and sing songs to Michael. Kevin starts off with songs from Back To The Future and then Dana sings the theme to Family Ties. One thing this is missing from the Sting version is an ending. That one gave us a coda of Sting hiking up the stairs, this one just fades out. Dana and Kevin are still funny though.
One more Deep Thoughts about how boxing is like ballet except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Sha la la la"
Average
2.6 Stars
MVP
Chris Farley
Jasper The Clown, America's Most Wanted, Not Gettin' Any
Jasper The Clown, America's Most Wanted, Not Gettin' Any
Best Sketch
America's Most Wanted
Worst Sketch
High School Reunion
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
I think I can do this, follow me on this one. Make Elevator the cold open, it didn't have an ending so you have Fox get off, climb the stairs and scream the sign on as he passes out. As for the monologue, you gotta come up with something different because I have a plan for that. Dan Quayle is the lead off sketch followed by America's Most Wanted. Then Black Crowes, Update, High School Reunion (I always put the weakest sketch right after Update), Jasper The Clown, Not Gettin' Any. Then retool the monologue as a 10-1 sketch. Michael is in his dressing room and he's not sure the show went that well, Doc Brown and Dana burst in, they go back in time and see Spade playing Fox, then you get more absurd with different timelines and you have the whole cast playing Fox, specifically Farley and Rock.
Host Analysis
I love Michael J. Fox both as an actor and human being but was not that big a fan of his SNL hosting stint. He seemed either nervous or disinterested. I couldn't tell if he was phoning it in or just uncomfortable on live TV. I can't imagine it was nerves, the guy grew up in front of TV cameras and Family Ties was filmed in front of a live audience. Whatever it was, he seemed bored during the whole show.
Final Thoughts
This was a real let down. I remember this episode from when I was a kid and I was anticipating loving it. I remember the monologue, Elevator and America's Most Wanted but all three of those let me down. Everything else was kinda bad. I've heard that referred to as The Antiques Factor, the good stuff survives our memories and everything else just disappears. If you were to ask me last week I would have told you that the Michael J. Fox episode was a classic, now it's a mess coming off a string of really great episodes.
Up Next
Up Next
Jeremy Irons hosts with musical guest Fishbone. The thing I am anticipating more than anything is Academy Award winner Jeremy Irons saying in his deep baritone voice, "Ladies and gentlemen, Fishbone". I can't wait.
I guess the former child stars turn to crime sketch is based on the fact most of them did turn to crime, another good review George
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to your Steven Seagal review
ReplyDelete