Saturday Night Live Season 16 Reviews - Episode 11 - Sting

"Sting.  Der Stinglehoffer.  Stingatoolah.  Sting a ling a ding dong" 

Cold Open: Wayne’s World

3 Stars

Wayne and Garth discuss the news coverage of the Persian Gulf War

Wayne and Garth have spent the last 72 hours eating cold pizza and drinking Jolt soda and watching nothing but news coverage of the Gulf war.  They now consider themselves experts in the field of military hardware and present us with their best and worst list of the media coverage.  Best name is Brit Hume, worst name is Wolf Blitzer (he so obviously made it up), best name for a missile is Scud (like when you see a pretty girl from miles away and then when you get closer you realize she's a total scud), the worst war theme is CNN and the best haircut goes to Ted Koppel.  Pretty standard fare from Wayne and Garth, the topical references are now lost on me which probably lessened my enjoyment. 

Sting Monologue

 

Sting briefly talks about how he's nervous to be making his comedic debut before deciding to just sing a song.  Thank goodness, I say.  I've seen enough terrible monologues by unfunny people to know that I don't need to see another.  Also, the song is pretty good.  "All This Time" is a song I was unfamiliar with but it sounds so typically Sting.  If you're a fan of any of his songs you would probably enjoy this one too. 

Hedley & Wyche

5 Stars

Commercial for the best toothpaste in England

Mike Myers plays an Englishman promoting Hedley & Wyche, the British toothpaste.  Phil says it's the only toothpaste he uses, Julia declares that one tube lasts for years and Kevin says that he's used it all his life and has never had to go to the dentist.  As they say all of this they smile to reveal their comically poor teeth.  Hedley & Wyche is enhanced by two teaspoons of pure cane sugar which makes it tasty, too.  Farley likes his on a cracker.
"You don't have to brush your teeth every week, but you just might want too."
Farley's childlike grin was one of the biggest laughs I've had this season. 

Elevator

4 Stars

Sting meets two fans in an elevator

Sting gets into an elevator, joined by Kevin who instantly recognizes him and can't help singing 'Roxanne' to himself.  Dana gets on and wants to sing 'De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da'.  Sting tries to remain polite but is noticeably uncomfortable and ends up getting off the elevator prematurely.  It closes with Sting walking up a flight of stairs as Dana and Kevin jam to 'Spirits In The Material World'.  It was uncomfortable awkwardness played very funny and Dana and Kevin were very fun. 

The Sinatra Group

4 Stars

Frank Sinatra holds a panel show

Sinatra's guests include Sinead O'Connor, Billy Idol, 2 Live Crew frontman Luther Campbell and Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme.  Topics range from censorship, crap on MTV and Milli Vanilli: What's with this faggot crap?.  This was a weird sketch because it was almost a parody of another SNL sketch.  The McLaughlin Group from the John Goodman episode was based on a real show but this sketch seems to be based on the exaggeration of the other sketch.  It's not a classic like its predecessor but it is still very funny, mostly due to Hartman's performance and the rest of the cast who are all in fine form.  My favorite exchange came between Phil and Rock when they were talking about Sinead O'Connor's shaved head.
"I don't care about the head, I like the butt."
"I hear you.  Forget about the head.  Put a bag over it and do your business."
I also got a big laugh from the question, "Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner: Who would you rather nail".  Frank recuses himself because he's "done 'em both". 

Deep Thoughts

We get our first ever Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey in this episode which would become a staple of the show for the rest of the decade.  This is a really good one to start with, too.  "To me, clowns aren't funny.  In fact, they're kinda scary.  I guess it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad".  Sick and twisted humor delivered in a polite and straight forward manner always delights me. 

Copy Machine

3 Stars

An annoying co-worker bothers people at the copy machine

Here's another first, it's Richard Laymer aka The Richmeister.  I haven't looked ahead to see how many appearances he's gonna make this season, but I'm gonna guess somewhere in the vicinity of 400.  From my memories of watching this era of SNL as a kid, I feel like Richmeister was in every episode.  If you aren't familiar with Richmeister's shtick (then you picked a weird and random blog to read) he gives everyone nicknames and people get annoyed by him when he won't stop.  A fellow by the name of Tom comes in and we get an exchange like,
"Tommy.  The Tom-ster.  Tom Man.  Tom Tom.  The Tomster making copies.  Tommy".
Or when Steve comes in we are treated to,
"Steve.  Steve-O.  Steve-O-Rama.  Steve O'Ramovitch.  Steve-a-rino.  Steve".
I'm giving this a pass because it's the first one but I know I will be getting tired of this really quick.  I'm also giving it a pass because it ended with a laugh when Sting comes into make copies and Rich addresses him as Sting.  I just like thinking about the reality where Sting, one of the most famous musicians of all time, has to make copies in the office. 

We get another Deep Thoughts questioning if we would still cut down trees if they could scream.  We probably would if they screamed all the time for no good reason.

Weekend Update

"How many Iraqis does it take to turn on a lightblub?

None.  They're not allowed to turn their lights on anymore"

Of course the war dominates the headlines this week but it did end with a bit of silliness as Dennis demonstrates the mating rituals of the dancing Coke can.  He puts a dancing Coke in a tiny bed and watches it "dance" under the covers.

Al Franken returns with a report from Baghdad.  I remember not getting this as a kid because I was too young to fully realize political commentary.  Also, I remember thinking it was real.  I remember not getting the joke and just thinking that they were reporting on the war so I probably never really paid attention.  Here, Franken is talking about Tomahawk missiles and how they strike their target after honing in on radar signals, radio waves or electronic impulses.  Not realizing he's wearing a huge satellite on his back he admires an incoming missile before screaming and we lose signal.

 David Spade reports on what's in and out in 1991.  What starts out as a goofy Hollywood Reporter style piece gets sillier quickly.
In: Edward Scissorhands.  Out: Edward Paperhands and Edward Rockhands.
In: Lorne Michaels.  Out: Kissing up to your boss.
In: U.S.A..  Out: Saddam Hussein.  (elicits cheers)
In: Sucking up to popular opinion for applause.  Out: Integrity.
Out: Guys with large weenies.  In: Guys with little ones.
In: Roseanne.  In Roseanne: Tom Arnold.
Innie: Belly Button.  Outtie: Belly Button.
Indoors.  Outdoors.  

Sting

"Mad About You"

This song is a little more "new age-y" than the first but it's still got Sting's cool voice so I can't complain. 

Dr. Frankenstein

5 Stars

Dr. Frankenstein teaches his monster how to speak

Sting is playing Dr. Victor Frankenstein, writing in his journal about how he wishes his creation could speak.  Phil is Frankenstein's Monster, sitting on the floor eating a cookie.  Sting tries to use flash cards to teach his monster speech, starting with the vowels.  A, E, I, O and U all come out of the monster as the same grunt.  Through the passing of time we see Sting attempt a 'My Fair Lady' approach and eventually we see Frankenstein's monster sipping tea and coming close to reciting poetry.
"Rain.  Spain.  Bunny Brain."
Dr. Frankenstein is so proud of his monster that he invites a speech therapist to meet with him.  Unfortunately, The Monster murders him when he gets scared of the match he uses to light his pipe.  Phil Hartman is Emmy worthy here.  This is one of the funniest performances I have seen on the show.  The way he handles both sides of Frankenstein (the confused grunting one and the happy more enlightened one but still confused and grunting) is sublime.

We get one more Deep Thoughts about how to answer a child when he asks about the rain.  Tell them that God is crying and then if they ask why God is crying you tell them that it's because of something that they did. 

Coffee Talk

2 Stars

A call-in talk show for light subjects

It's Coffee Talk with...Paul Baldwin?  Who the hell is Paul Baldwin?  I had no idea that this sketch originally had a different host before it evolved into Linda Richman and her Streisand loving self.  See my season 19 reviews for all my Linda Richman thoughts as we got her roughly 10 times that season.  Paul invites callers to talk about anything, you know, coffee talk.  They can talk about things like coffee, New York, dogs, daughters, no big whoop.  When one caller wants to discuss the Iraq war, Paul cuts him off and insists that they stick to the small things.  The next caller has a question that involves a dog, a daughter and New York.  The final caller wants to talk about how he "pahked his cah in Hahvahd Yahd", he got confused and thought he was calling Boston Talk.

One final Deep Thoughts which tells us that the most dangerous animal is not a lion or a tiger but rather a shark riding on an elephant's back, trampling and eating everything they see. 

Sting

"Purple Haze"

Sting gets one more song and it's a cover of Jimi Hendrix's 'Purple Haze'.  This version feels polished where Jimi's feels raw.  This version really has no real reason to exist. 

Poet

2 Stars

A poet in a pub gets some criticism

We open with a woman performing a striptease and then an emcee, Phil Hartman, announces the next act is going to be a poet.  Sting comes up to the microphone and delivers a poem about his coal mining town and how his dad would cough up black blood as he looked at his unemployment papers.  The crowd boos and leaves, Sting sits at a table by himself but is soon joined by Mike Myers as another Brit who offers some advice.  He thinks that the poem was great but a little depressing and says it would have been better had the dad gotten cured of his black lung and the whole town pitched in and painted everything brighter.  Sting tells Mike to leave and the sketch ends.  I thought we were going to get an epilogue of Sting reciting a happy poem for a bunch of surly bar patrons and see what the results would be or at least an explanation of why Sting thought performing open mic poetry in a strip club was a good idea in the first place.  We got none of that and the sketch felt like a huge waste of opportunity.

According to SNL archives, I'm missing a sketch called First Impression.  I instead got a short film by Jack Handey about a kid hammering a fence and then jumping out a window, which was pretty funny.  Searched around online for it and couldn't find it anywhere but according to Vulture.com it was only shown on the live broadcast.  They also describe it thusly,

"Victoria Jackson and Sting play a couple reminiscing about the time she met her future in-laws; specifically how she made an ass of herself by juggling Ming vases and wearing a plate of mashed potatoes as a hat. The first flash forward finds the two laughing about her foolishness, but in the second one, Jackson is replaced by a grotesque-looking dummy, and the final shot has Sting replaced as well. An interesting concept, but the technical aspects were a little less than seamless. The rerun replaces it with “The True Story of What Happened To Me,” a filmed version of one of Jack Handey’s pieces for Army Man."
I'm probably building it up in my mind but I really wish I could have seen that.

FINAL ANALYSIS

"My favorite part was about the black lung and the coughing up blood"

Average

3.5 Stars

MVP

Phil Hartman
Hedley & Wyche, Sinatra Group, Copy Machine, Dr. Frankenstein, Poet, Coffee Talk (VO), Deep Thoughts (VO)

Best Sketch

Dr. Frankenstein

Worst Sketch

Coffee Talk

How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It

4 Deep Thoughts?  I'll give it a pass since this was the first episode they appeared in but we can really cut those back to 1 or 2 per week.  Other than that, the episode flowed very nicely.  The best stuff was at the beginning, they saved a really funny sketch for right after Update and then all that good will was still there for the lesser sketches like Coffee Talk and Poet.

Host Analysis

It's almost as if the show had no confidence in Sting's comedic abilities and they used him sparingly.  Which is the absolute right thing to do.  SNL should not be a show that lives or dies by the host but I feel like that has been a big problem this season.  If the host is unfunny, the show suffers.  This episode did it right.  The host was unfunny so they had him play the straight man all night.  The only thing he had to do that required comedic timing was his Billy Idol impression in The Sinatra Group but that sketch was solidly written so even if he wasn't good he couldn't derail it too bad.
Final Thoughts

The sketch average is a bit skewed as there were so many segments I didn't rate.  We had 4 Deep Thoughts and 3 musical segments.  Even with that, or maybe because of that, the episode had a real nice flow to it.  It was definitely one of the better episodes of the season and if you were to trim some of the fat (Coffee Talk and Poet, although Coffee Talk is interesting for the history) then you have a real solid episode where pretty much everything worked.
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