"I play a lot of mean and unpleasant characters. That's no accident. I'm a very dangerous person"
Cold Open: Assassinating Hussein
4 Stars
George Bush meets Saddam Hussein in a restaurant
Bush, Hussein and Joe Mantegna meet in an Italian restaurant in a parody of The Godfather. After a discussion in Italian, Bush goes to the bathroom to retrieve a gun placed their by vice president Dan Quayle. Instead of being behind the tank, it's in the toilet. Bush picks it up and tries to dry it with toilet paper and then comes back out to shoot Saddam but the gun is waterlogged. He says that he's gonna fire Quayle and leaves, Saddam and Mantegna are at a loss for words. The only thing they can say is, "Live from New York...". Usually a Godfather parody is a no-no for me as it's been done too much but seeing as how Mantegna was in The Godfather Part III, he's the host and we are a week away from the war in the Persian Gulf this felt like a serendipitous parody.
Joe Mantegna Monologue
Bush, Hussein and Joe Mantegna meet in an Italian restaurant in a parody of The Godfather. After a discussion in Italian, Bush goes to the bathroom to retrieve a gun placed their by vice president Dan Quayle. Instead of being behind the tank, it's in the toilet. Bush picks it up and tries to dry it with toilet paper and then comes back out to shoot Saddam but the gun is waterlogged. He says that he's gonna fire Quayle and leaves, Saddam and Mantegna are at a loss for words. The only thing they can say is, "Live from New York...". Usually a Godfather parody is a no-no for me as it's been done too much but seeing as how Mantegna was in The Godfather Part III, he's the host and we are a week away from the war in the Persian Gulf this felt like a serendipitous parody.
Joe Mantegna Monologue
5 Stars
Joe makes sure a kid is gonna have a good time during the show
As Joe Mantegna begins his monologue, a man and his son get up to leave. Joe asks them where they are going and the father explains that they thought that Joe Montana, the quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers was hosting. The son is upset so they are just going to leave. Joe thinks that they should have a little chat so he takes little Tyler backstage.
"It's great that you admire Joe Montana but one phone call from me and Joe don't play next week. Maybe he wakes up with John Madden's head in his sheets. Do you believe I could do the same thing to your dad."
Tyler agrees and runs back to his dad to watch the show. After a barrage of serious actors failing on SNL this season, I can finally say that this is how you do it. This is how you be funny and serious at the same time. For one of the first times this season the monologue has gotten me excited for the show to come. Joe Mantegna is dryly hilarious here.
Hello New York
As Joe Mantegna begins his monologue, a man and his son get up to leave. Joe asks them where they are going and the father explains that they thought that Joe Montana, the quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers was hosting. The son is upset so they are just going to leave. Joe thinks that they should have a little chat so he takes little Tyler backstage.
"It's great that you admire Joe Montana but one phone call from me and Joe don't play next week. Maybe he wakes up with John Madden's head in his sheets. Do you believe I could do the same thing to your dad."
Tyler agrees and runs back to his dad to watch the show. After a barrage of serious actors failing on SNL this season, I can finally say that this is how you do it. This is how you be funny and serious at the same time. For one of the first times this season the monologue has gotten me excited for the show to come. Joe Mantegna is dryly hilarious here.
Hello New York
4 Stars
A radio show talks about violence in New York City
Nealon is the host of a radio show and the topic is violence. His guest is an assistant to the mayor who wants to assert that New York City is not a rotting crime infested hell hole. In fact, for every victim of a violent crime, 4 people visited the museum of modern art. They take some calls, one guy got mugged on the subway at 1:15am, one guy got stabbed in midtown at 3pm and another guy got doused with gasoline, set on fire and thrown off his roof. Mantegna's response is that things like this happen.
"People are going to get doused and lit on fire. Little kids are going to smoke crack and hit old people with hammers. That's the price you pay for living in the greatest city in the world."
Before he leaves he drops off some pamphlets, 'So you've been shot', 'So you've been stabbed' and 'So you've been doused with gasoline and set on fire'. Mantegna, again, is dryly hilarious here and deftly able to sell the jokes. He is also either familiar with his lines or good at reading the cue cards. After the Dennis Quaid episode last week, this was a blessing.
Nightline
Nealon is the host of a radio show and the topic is violence. His guest is an assistant to the mayor who wants to assert that New York City is not a rotting crime infested hell hole. In fact, for every victim of a violent crime, 4 people visited the museum of modern art. They take some calls, one guy got mugged on the subway at 1:15am, one guy got stabbed in midtown at 3pm and another guy got doused with gasoline, set on fire and thrown off his roof. Mantegna's response is that things like this happen.
"People are going to get doused and lit on fire. Little kids are going to smoke crack and hit old people with hammers. That's the price you pay for living in the greatest city in the world."
Before he leaves he drops off some pamphlets, 'So you've been shot', 'So you've been stabbed' and 'So you've been doused with gasoline and set on fire'. Mantegna, again, is dryly hilarious here and deftly able to sell the jokes. He is also either familiar with his lines or good at reading the cue cards. After the Dennis Quaid episode last week, this was a blessing.
Nightline
4 Stars
A soldier is wished well by his family and newscasters
Ted Koppel and Nightline have set up a satellite hookup so Joe Mantegna can talk to his family and friends before going to war. His wife tells him that she loves him and that she is proud of him. She passes the phone to his little brother, aunt, friend and cousin who all say the same thing. Grandma wants him to come over to look at her car, it's making a funny noise. After everyone says the same thing, Ted Koppel cuts in to make sure that Joe knows that he loves him and is proud of him. Sam Donaldson also wants to say that he loves him and is proud of him. Diane Sawyer is very proud but not sure if she loves him. They fight a bit and during their bickering, Joe has replaced himself with a broom wearing a helmet. Mantegna made an excellent straight man here, just reacting to everyone in the cast saying the same thing to him.
Officer Miller
4 Stars
A friendly cop gives a kid some advice
Officer Miller gets his own theme song and catches Farley smoking. Officer Miller doesn't carry cigarettes with him but he does carry pictures of the human lung, both healthy and unhealthy. He also has a picture of a man with his jaw removed and an enlarged prostate, but that is a picture for another conversation. Officer Miller also gives advice about the middle east, puberty and how to talk to women. Things get darker as Officer Miller says that he too gets confused when it comes to the opposite sex.
"In the animal kingdom, creatures give off signals. A scent, a call, a female baboon's genitalia will get engorged and enlarged so it looks like a big red catcher's mitt."
Humans are a little more difficult to read though and sometimes even Officer Miller will stare at women not knowing what to do as his nipples chafe against the thick wool of his blue uniform. Hartman and Farley have good chemistry here and both get little moments to shine. Dark subject matter in a friendly, sing song voice always makes me laugh. I hope we get more adventures from Officer Miller.
Vanilla Ice
“Ice Ice Baby”
It's weird how something so cool at the time can look so silly in retrospect. Vanilla Ice humps the floor and raps his little rap. This felt endless, I had to check how long it was when it was over. It was just under 5 minutes but I could have sworn that it was forever long.
Weekend Update
"I swear these are not Groucho glasses, this is my real face"
The segment opens with the tune of Queen and David Bowie's 'Under Pressure', which was sampled for Vanilla Ice's hit. Miller says that he loves that song and finds it timeless. It could probably be a big hit today if they re-released it. We get jokes about Bush's threats to Saddam Hussein, Dan Quayle being an idiot, Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Geneva convention. He ends it with a plea for peace, war was exactly one week away.
A. Whitney Brown is here with The Big Picture. He talks about how only congress can declare war, not the president. This is because the founding fathers did this because they knew that the president might get drunk with power and pin all his troubles on a foreign madman with a mustache. While I didn't find this funny, it was interesting to watch in retrospect. My childhood memories of the war were all patriotic (I was 8). All I remember from the first Persian Gulf war was that Lee Greenwood song and television shows getting preempted for war coverage. I thought that everyone supported the war so it was nice to see that there was an opposition at the time.
I'm Chillin'
3 Stars
Two homeboys do a TV show from their apartment
Rock and Farley do a show with no real concept, except for the fact they are both decked out in Oakland Raiders gear. Their characters are never really defined but at least there are some funny jokes. The show is brought to you by F'ed Up Malt Liquor and the winner of the Yo Momma joke of the week is 'yo momma's underarms so hairy it looks like she got Buckwheat in a headlock'. The winner gets an Oakland Raiders hat (just like the one worn by every black kid in the city) and a gold tooth. Since I know this sketch is going to be recurring, I'm giving it a pass but I want a lot more character development the next time around.
Lukens Pipe Inc.
Rock and Farley do a show with no real concept, except for the fact they are both decked out in Oakland Raiders gear. Their characters are never really defined but at least there are some funny jokes. The show is brought to you by F'ed Up Malt Liquor and the winner of the Yo Momma joke of the week is 'yo momma's underarms so hairy it looks like she got Buckwheat in a headlock'. The winner gets an Oakland Raiders hat (just like the one worn by every black kid in the city) and a gold tooth. Since I know this sketch is going to be recurring, I'm giving it a pass but I want a lot more character development the next time around.
Lukens Pipe Inc.
2 Stars
A business owner dictates a letter
Joe Mantegna is dictating a letter to his secretary about a complaint he has with a product owner. He keeps rewording his letter trying to sound more grandiose. His secretary wants him to keep it simple but he really wants his words to have power. Six weeks later he gets a reply that he will get a refund and the reply is equally as grandiose. This felt like a slightly comedic David Mament sketch. It wasn't very funny but I respected the execution. Both Mantegna and Hooks had a lot of wordplay in this and they just nailed the delivery. Again, I just recently watched Dennis Quaid fumble around so watching a pro was a big treat.
Bill Swerski's Super Fans
5 Stars
4 Bears fans talk Ditka and Da Bears
It's 13 minutes to game time and Mantegna, Myers, Farley and Robert Smigel are eating meat, drinking beer and talking about Da Bears. Sports analysts are calling Chicago 7 point underdogs but the super fans have a different opinion. Their predictions are Bears 62-3, 79-0, 52-14 and 74-2. To make things more interesting they ask what would happen if the Bears were 14 inches tall. Then they wonder what would happen if coach Mike Ditka took on the New York Giants, single handed, if the Bears faced the assembled choir of heavenly angels, Ditka vs. God in a golf game and the Bears vs. Stephen Douglas in a debate. In all scenarios, the Bears and Ditka are predicted as victorious. For the first incarnation of a recurring sketch, this was pretty good. The characters were all funny and well defined (even if they are all pretty much the same) and it left me wanting more.
Vanilla Ice returns with 'Play That Funky Music'. The dancing was pretty incredible and I admire his energy. The song was pure garbage, though.
Insane Inventors
5 Stars
A profile of Thomas Edison during his later, crazy years
Phil shows us some inventions that Thomas Edison made during his later years. None of them look like anything the least bit useful.
"At the time he was considered a mad man. Today, he still is."
We then get the story of when Edison met the Wolf Man, initially they were at odds with each other but eventually formed a good working dynamic. The Wolf Man came up with the ideas and Edison provided the scientific know how. Eventually they came up with a fork and spoon helmet and what we know today as, "this thing". I love stupidity and this was exceptionally stupid.
O'Hanlon Memorial
2 Stars
A memorial service for a boxing cut man
The cast is all playing old boxers celebrating the greatest cut man in boxing history. Mantegna talks about a time where the man fixed a Florida shaped gash on his face using only a can of gasoline and a Q-tip. Phil tells a story about a time where he only had 45 seconds, a bucket, a pair of scissors, a wet rag and a caramel candy to put a guy's ear lobe back on his head. Then Chris Rock stands up from the audience and just says he's tired. Sandler drops his boxing robe to reveal a sparkly thong and talks in a goofy accent. Then Jan talks as the deceased man's wife in one of the most ill-fitting wigs I've ever seen on the show. The sketch ends with Rock leading the crowd in a chant of gibberish. While I didn't hate this, it was a little long and ran out of steam as it went along.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Can I change mine too? I thought it was a mini Ditka"
Average
Average
3.8 Stars
MVP
Joe Mantegna
From the cast
Phil Hartman
Assassinating Hussein, Hello New York, Nightline, Officer Miller, Insane Inventors, O'Hanlon Memorial
From the cast
Phil Hartman
Assassinating Hussein, Hello New York, Nightline, Officer Miller, Insane Inventors, O'Hanlon Memorial
Best Sketch
Insane Inventors
Worst Sketch
Lukens Pipe Inc.
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
The placement of sketches was pretty near perfect this episode. The best part was that they saved Superfans and Insane Inventors for the end of the night. After Update we got I'm Chillin' and Lukens Pipe Inc. and I thought the show had ran out of all steam but then they came back strong with two really funny sketches.
Host Analysis
I was consistently impressed with Mantegna in how he was able to get laughs by pretty much playing the straight man all night. Only later in the episode, when he played The Wolf Man and a punch drunk boxer, did he try to play his characters comedically. In sketches like Nightline and Hello New York he got most of the laughs just be committing to his character.
Final Thoughts
It's possible that I'm so high on this episode because I'm comparing it to the Dennis Quaid episode. I watched Quaid one day and Mantegna the next. I couldn't get Quaid's terrible performance out of my head all day and this was the perfect palette cleanser. Not only was Mantegna a great host with excellent comedic timing but the sketches were just funny. Everything had something to like in it. Even if it wasn't the funnies thing in the world, the performances were still engaging. This was just an all around, start to finish, enjoyable episode.
Up Next
Up Next
He's not stinging, and he's not stung, he's Sting and he's both the host and musical guest next week.
The Sketch with the Mayor on the radio station was really funny Nealon and Mantegna played off each other well
ReplyDeleteWhen I watched this episode back in 1991, I must have left the room for a minute and missed the Weekend Update segment where Miller snarkily derogates the Ice tune as plagiaristic. I wonder if Ice appreciated that little dig.
ReplyDelete