Cold Open: Presidential Address
3 Stars
George Bush talks tough to Saddam and shows of his night vision goggles
Bush is not happy about the midterm elections and thinks he might be vulnerable in '92. The one thing he is sure about is that the U.S. will not stand for Saddam Hussein invading Kuwait. He talks tough about his sidewinder missiles (going so far as to demonstrate how they soar through the sky with his hands) and then puts on a pair of night vision goggles to strike fear into the hearts of the Iraqi people. He turns off the lights to demonstrate but gets scared when vice president Dan Quayle (played by a child) sneaks up behind him wearing a pair of his own. I anticipate we're gonna get a lot of these cold opens and I'm gonna run out of things to say so let me just say now that this is all performance not a lot of substance. It doesn't matter what Carvey is saying because we're just watching a comedian deliver a silly monologue. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that but I find myself drifting off during these and just laughing at his mannerisms then I realize I have no idea what he's talking about.
This is the first appearance of Julia Sweeney and David Spade in the opening credits
Jimmy Smits Monologue
Bush is not happy about the midterm elections and thinks he might be vulnerable in '92. The one thing he is sure about is that the U.S. will not stand for Saddam Hussein invading Kuwait. He talks tough about his sidewinder missiles (going so far as to demonstrate how they soar through the sky with his hands) and then puts on a pair of night vision goggles to strike fear into the hearts of the Iraqi people. He turns off the lights to demonstrate but gets scared when vice president Dan Quayle (played by a child) sneaks up behind him wearing a pair of his own. I anticipate we're gonna get a lot of these cold opens and I'm gonna run out of things to say so let me just say now that this is all performance not a lot of substance. It doesn't matter what Carvey is saying because we're just watching a comedian deliver a silly monologue. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that but I find myself drifting off during these and just laughing at his mannerisms then I realize I have no idea what he's talking about.
This is the first appearance of Julia Sweeney and David Spade in the opening credits
Jimmy Smits Monologue
2 Stars
Jimmy's monologue is simulcast in Spanish by Don Pardo
Jimmy is happy to be back in New York City after being on the west coast filming L.A. Law. He is also happy to be around so many Latinos. Since NYC is now 20% Spanish speakers, his monologue will be simulcast in Spanish. Jimmy talks in English and then pauses to have Don Pardo translate. It's funny for a bit but then they seem to just give up. There's no punchline, Pardo tells Jimmy to wrap it up and he throws to commercial. It's like they just abandoned the bit.
Chia Head
Jimmy is happy to be back in New York City after being on the west coast filming L.A. Law. He is also happy to be around so many Latinos. Since NYC is now 20% Spanish speakers, his monologue will be simulcast in Spanish. Jimmy talks in English and then pauses to have Don Pardo translate. It's funny for a bit but then they seem to just give up. There's no punchline, Pardo tells Jimmy to wrap it up and he throws to commercial. It's like they just abandoned the bit.
Chia Head
3 Stars
Commercial for a new hair loss product
Nealon is trying everything to deal with his male pattern baldness including comb overs and wigs until he finally gets results with Chia Head. Put some mud and seeds and water on her scalp and soon you will have a head of green hair looking growth. The sight gags of Spade with green dreadlocks and Rock with a Chia afro were fun. This probably played a lot better in 1990 than it does now. Then again, Chia pets were more of a '70s thing so this was dated at the time.
Game Challengers
2 Stars
An American Indian competes on a game show for Indian artifacts
The prizes on this particular game show include a Navajo prayer mask, moccasins, a sacred burial shroud and many more Indian artifacts. The contestants are Matt Kendall, an amateur golfer and Peter Running Dove, an American Indian who has come to claim what once rightfully belonged to his people. Matt is cleaning up in the trivia rounds and takes home a prayer mask and a head dress. He has no idea what he's going to do with them. The jackpot round is for the ancient bones of Chief Deer In Stream, which was Peter's great grandfather. The answer is Men At Work which Peter incorrectly guesses Flock Of Seagulls. Peter then pulls out a knife, holds it to the host's throat and sends in a group of Indians to steal all the prizes. This wasn't a bad concept and had some good absurd bits but I think it was Smits and his deadpan and humorless delivery that really dragged the sketch to a halt.
Spanish Pronunciation
The prizes on this particular game show include a Navajo prayer mask, moccasins, a sacred burial shroud and many more Indian artifacts. The contestants are Matt Kendall, an amateur golfer and Peter Running Dove, an American Indian who has come to claim what once rightfully belonged to his people. Matt is cleaning up in the trivia rounds and takes home a prayer mask and a head dress. He has no idea what he's going to do with them. The jackpot round is for the ancient bones of Chief Deer In Stream, which was Peter's great grandfather. The answer is Men At Work which Peter incorrectly guesses Flock Of Seagulls. Peter then pulls out a knife, holds it to the host's throat and sends in a group of Indians to steal all the prizes. This wasn't a bad concept and had some good absurd bits but I think it was Smits and his deadpan and humorless delivery that really dragged the sketch to a halt.
Spanish Pronunciation
2 Stars
A group of white newscasters over enunciate Spanish words
Dana, Phil, Jan and Mike are all having a meeting about how the news media should cover Latin American countries but every time they get to a word like 'Nicaragua' or 'Costa Rica' they overdue the accent. Jimmy Smits comes in as Antonio Mendoza and he has no accent at all. Dana tells him that he grew up in 'Lohs Hangaleese'. They get some Mexican food delivered and they all grab their 'en-chee-laa-dahs'. Bob Costas comes in to talk about the Denver Brohhhhncoooos. Jimmy eventually gets upset and tells them they are all annoying. A one joke sketch that had some giggles but the one joke wasn't that funny to begin with.
Simon
Dana, Phil, Jan and Mike are all having a meeting about how the news media should cover Latin American countries but every time they get to a word like 'Nicaragua' or 'Costa Rica' they overdue the accent. Jimmy Smits comes in as Antonio Mendoza and he has no accent at all. Dana tells him that he grew up in 'Lohs Hangaleese'. They get some Mexican food delivered and they all grab their 'en-chee-laa-dahs'. Bob Costas comes in to talk about the Denver Brohhhhncoooos. Jimmy eventually gets upset and tells them they are all annoying. A one joke sketch that had some giggles but the one joke wasn't that funny to begin with.
Simon
2 Stars
A boy in a bathtub shows us his drawings
Before I go on this tangent let me say that if I thought this was funnier then I wouldn't question the logic so much. Simon is a little boy in a hotel bathtub but he has a show on the BBC. Do camera crews just follow him from hotel to hotel? Is there a crew in the bathroom with him as he takes his bath? Who put a show like this on the air? Simon is a young boy who has a daddy that travels a lot. While daddy is doing business around the world, Simon spends most of his time in the bathtub making drawings. He shows us some, like the pyramids of Egypt through a hotel window, the Eiffel Tower through a hotel window and a picture of his daddy, by himself without his son as usual. He also tells us not to look at his bum and calls us all 'bum lookers'. I've noticed this a lot with Myers in his SNL sketches and films. He likes to turn playground jokes into his own. I just recently watched The Love Guru and it is chock full of jokes we all told when were 8 years old. The other thing that struck me while watching this sketch is that tone is a very powerful thing. You could take this same script about a lonely boy, sad that his father is neglectful, and play it for drama and pathos. Here it's played for comedy. Although I wasn't laughing so I really don't know what to think.
World Party
Before I go on this tangent let me say that if I thought this was funnier then I wouldn't question the logic so much. Simon is a little boy in a hotel bathtub but he has a show on the BBC. Do camera crews just follow him from hotel to hotel? Is there a crew in the bathroom with him as he takes his bath? Who put a show like this on the air? Simon is a young boy who has a daddy that travels a lot. While daddy is doing business around the world, Simon spends most of his time in the bathtub making drawings. He shows us some, like the pyramids of Egypt through a hotel window, the Eiffel Tower through a hotel window and a picture of his daddy, by himself without his son as usual. He also tells us not to look at his bum and calls us all 'bum lookers'. I've noticed this a lot with Myers in his SNL sketches and films. He likes to turn playground jokes into his own. I just recently watched The Love Guru and it is chock full of jokes we all told when were 8 years old. The other thing that struck me while watching this sketch is that tone is a very powerful thing. You could take this same script about a lonely boy, sad that his father is neglectful, and play it for drama and pathos. Here it's played for comedy. Although I wasn't laughing so I really don't know what to think.
World Party
“Way Down Now”
I'm familiar with this band because they had a song on the Reality Bites soundtrack which is an album I listened to a lot as a kid. They have a real fun sound. It's like The Lovin' Spoonful but with a 90's edge. This song is a bit repetitive but fun.
Weekend Update
"OK, we're getting pretty close to the ground. Better reach back and pull on it"
So the war in the Persian Gulf had already started at this point but we were still a few months away from Operation Desert Storm. I was under the impression that we hadn't even gotten to the Gulf War yet. That's all I got to say. I only wrote down one joke and it was about a fire at Universal Studios that burned down an essential set of 'Coach'. Miller clarifies the story by saying that nothing about the TV show 'Coach' is essential.
Jan Hooks interviews the last runner to cross the finishing line of the New York City Marathon and it's Rick Decatur who comes jogging in dripping in sweat and drinking a beer. It took him 6 days in total because he stopped at some bars along the way and a rib joint. A pretty good Farley bit. After it's over Miller says, "At least we didn't see his ass this week".
First Date
Jan Hooks interviews the last runner to cross the finishing line of the New York City Marathon and it's Rick Decatur who comes jogging in dripping in sweat and drinking a beer. It took him 6 days in total because he stopped at some bars along the way and a rib joint. A pretty good Farley bit. After it's over Miller says, "At least we didn't see his ass this week".
First Date
2 Stars
An annoying girl goes home with a fella
Julia and Jimmy are a little tipsy from their date as they come back to his place. Julia's character tells long stories that don't have a point, calls him by the wrong name and has an annoying laugh. I chuckled when she said she was famished and then took one bite of an apple and said she felt bloated. Other than that this wasn't working for me. Jimmy gets to the point where he wants her to leave but then she tells him that she wants to make love to him so he wants her to stay. She ends up leaving though now that he's all horny. This was pretty bad.
The Dark Side With Nat X
Julia and Jimmy are a little tipsy from their date as they come back to his place. Julia's character tells long stories that don't have a point, calls him by the wrong name and has an annoying laugh. I chuckled when she said she was famished and then took one bite of an apple and said she felt bloated. Other than that this wasn't working for me. Jimmy gets to the point where he wants her to leave but then she tells him that she wants to make love to him so he wants her to stay. She ends up leaving though now that he's all horny. This was pretty bad.
The Dark Side With Nat X
3 Stars
A show hosted by a man so black he goes to funerals naked
There's something very silly about Chris Rock that I enjoy. He has a quality to him that, for lack of a better word, I'm gonna call Norm MacDonald-like. He seems to get the joke that it's absurd that he's on TV and he has fun with that. He also seems to be doing comedy for himself and never takes it too seriously. This is the first appearance of Nat X, the only 15 minute show on TV. Why only 15 minutes? Because the man will give Pat Sajak, Joan Rivers and Rick Dees an hour but not a brother like him. This is the same man who made the black jelly bean the worst tasting candy on Earth. His first guest is Jimmy Smits and all he wants to know is if the white people on L.A. Law treat him like a human being. When Jimmy says that everybody is polite, Nat says that they must blame the black guy for all problems. Then Kevin Nealon comes out as boxer, Gerry Cooney. He shows a bunch of clips of black men knocking him out. The sketch ends awkwardly, as if they ran out of time and queued Rock with the music. I liked the character and want to see him again but this sketch needed some tightening and focus. They could have easily dropped one of the segments.
Doormen
There's something very silly about Chris Rock that I enjoy. He has a quality to him that, for lack of a better word, I'm gonna call Norm MacDonald-like. He seems to get the joke that it's absurd that he's on TV and he has fun with that. He also seems to be doing comedy for himself and never takes it too seriously. This is the first appearance of Nat X, the only 15 minute show on TV. Why only 15 minutes? Because the man will give Pat Sajak, Joan Rivers and Rick Dees an hour but not a brother like him. This is the same man who made the black jelly bean the worst tasting candy on Earth. His first guest is Jimmy Smits and all he wants to know is if the white people on L.A. Law treat him like a human being. When Jimmy says that everybody is polite, Nat says that they must blame the black guy for all problems. Then Kevin Nealon comes out as boxer, Gerry Cooney. He shows a bunch of clips of black men knocking him out. The sketch ends awkwardly, as if they ran out of time and queued Rock with the music. I liked the character and want to see him again but this sketch needed some tightening and focus. They could have easily dropped one of the segments.
Doormen
3 Stars
Two doormen talk about their sexual desires
Rob and Kevin are eager and friendly doormen who talk about how they would like to have sex with tenants behind their backs. They do so in a chipper way though. Always polite, even when being crass.
"There goes Mrs. Johnson, she's a nice lady."
"Yeah, very nice."
"Gee, I'd like to bop her."
"Yeah, me too."
"That'll never happen. I'm too ugly."
"When I'm bopping my wife, I think about her."
"There's Mrs. Lewis. She's a nice older woman."
"I'd still like to bop her."
"It would sure beat wanking it."
Nice intro piece for Schneider who plays real well off Nealon. Even though this was his first real piece on the show he didn't show any nerves and had a very funny presence. I'm looking forward to what else he brings to the show this season (outside of Richmeister, of course).
Manhattan Mobile Home Park
1 Star
In crowded Manhattan, mobile homes are stacked sideways
Everything is on it's side in this mobile home. I wish they put as much thought into the writing of this sketch as they did the set. Victoria and Jimmy argue with each other about their living conditions, Farley plays their son and he takes a shower but all the water pours into the living room. Just when you think the sketch can't get worse, here comes Dana Carvey as Ching Change delivering some Chinese food. Ugh.
World Party returns with “Ship Of Fools” which is good because their best thing this episode has going for it.
Detectives
Everything is on it's side in this mobile home. I wish they put as much thought into the writing of this sketch as they did the set. Victoria and Jimmy argue with each other about their living conditions, Farley plays their son and he takes a shower but all the water pours into the living room. Just when you think the sketch can't get worse, here comes Dana Carvey as Ching Change delivering some Chinese food. Ugh.
World Party returns with “Ship Of Fools” which is good because their best thing this episode has going for it.
Detectives
2 Stars
A detective speaks in contradictions to sound wise
"Well, I guess that case is finished."
"Or maybe, it's just beginning."
"Well, we solved it."
"Or did the case solve us?"
"The is the worst coffee I've ever tasted."
"Or maybe it's the best."
"Why do you always have to say the opposite to make yourself look smart?"
"Or maybe it makes me look dumb."
"I'm going to kill you."
"Or maybe you'll give me life."
Dana ends up shooting Jimmy, another detective sees it.
"Killed your partner, huh?"
"Yeah, or maybe in a way, my partner killed me?"
Not the absolute worst thing I've ever seen but a pretty lame way to end a pretty lame episode. Giving Jimmy Smits all the funny lines was probably the biggest mistake.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"I haven’t had that much fun since I saw Weezy Jefferson naked"
Average
2.3 Stars
MVP
Dana Carvey
Presidential Address, Spanish Pronunciation, Manhattan Mobile Home Park, Detectives
Presidential Address, Spanish Pronunciation, Manhattan Mobile Home Park, Detectives
Best Sketch
The Dark Side With Nat X
Worst Sketch
Manhattan Mobile Home Park
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
This was a pretty bad episode and I think starting it with Game Challengers, Spanish Pronunciation and Simon really hurt my enjoyment. When the show starts off crappy it's hard to recover. I'm gonna start with Nat X, keep the next two sketches where they are, put Doormen right after Update then go into Game Challengers, First Date and Detectives. Basically, I'm just putting the strongest sketch first and the crappier ones at the end. As far as Manhattan Mobile Home Park goes, I feel like they had to do something with that sketch but it seemed like they had an idea but nothing after. What if mobile homes were in Manhattan? They'd probably be stacked sideways. What if people tried to live in sideways mobile homes? Build that set and we'll come up with some jokes later. My Name Is Earl had a sideways trailer for a couple episodes and they were able to get a lot of mileage out of it. This sketch just had a sight gag and then gave up.
Host Analysis
Like my mother always said, if you can't say anything nice, wait 30 years and write a blog saying how unfunny Jimmy Smits was when he hosted SNL.
Final Thoughts
Right after watching this I was ready to declare it as the worst episode ever, but then I remembered Deion Sanders. Then as I was going through each individual sketch I remembered little things I liked about each one and my feelings softened a little bit. There was still nothing in this episode I loved or even really liked. Everything thing was very 'meh' to bad. That being said, the sketch average is a notch above the Susan Lucci episode and there was nothing here as bad as All My Luggage or I Will Not Cry. So, it's only the second worst episode of the season so far. I think I was judging it harsher than Lucci because I wasn't expecting to like the Lucci episode. Also, this came after two really strong episodes with Steinbrenner and Swayze so it was just kind of a bummer to watch.
Up Next
Right after watching this I was ready to declare it as the worst episode ever, but then I remembered Deion Sanders. Then as I was going through each individual sketch I remembered little things I liked about each one and my feelings softened a little bit. There was still nothing in this episode I loved or even really liked. Everything thing was very 'meh' to bad. That being said, the sketch average is a notch above the Susan Lucci episode and there was nothing here as bad as All My Luggage or I Will Not Cry. So, it's only the second worst episode of the season so far. I think I was judging it harsher than Lucci because I wasn't expecting to like the Lucci episode. Also, this came after two really strong episodes with Steinbrenner and Swayze so it was just kind of a bummer to watch.
Up Next
Dennis Hopper hosts with musical guest Paul Simon. He hosted the season finale of the last season I just reviewed and did not impress me. Here's hoping for a shot at redemption.
When I was a kid I only knew Dana as Garth from Wayne's World but watching him on SNL and since the passing of George Bush Snr his funny over the top take on him I think like Phil he was a great asset to the show.
ReplyDeleteWasn’t sure if anybody knew this, but the “Simon” sketches were based (Very Loosely) on an Actual British Cartoon from the 70s that aired a lot during Nickelodeon’s early days:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsEvbj9o9t4
This is one of the most absolute classic Bush cold openings of all time. I roared when I saw it live and still now. The skit about the Spanish pronunciations was hilarious too. The idea was absolutely brilliant because newscasters already sound like idiots in real life when they try to slip into a Spanish pronunciation for no reason. And why don't they pronounce Los Angeles that way if they do it for other places? Simon is another fantastic Mike Myers character. This is one of the sketches we quoted lines from for years. I loved Nat X's debut here...black jelly bean, LOL. The First Date and Doormen sketches were pretty repetitive and not based on very funny ideas. The Detective sketch was a funny idea and not much else.
ReplyDelete"Spanish Pronunciation" actually seem ahead of its time. It makes the very sensible point about pretentious folks (i.e. the educated classes) sounding like idiots when they go about trying to impress with their command of foreign language pronunciation to the degree that you can hear the gears grinding during the course of normal conversation or speech. There are major U.S. news networks in 2024 where this happens everyday.
ReplyDelete