Cold Open: Dirty Square Dancing
4 Stars
Swayze walks up to Phil and asks him to call his next dance. It takes no time at all for the lyrics to get overtly sexual.
"Ladies lift your leg up to the sky, then rub yourself on your partner's thigh."
"Don't be shy let the whole crowd watch, stick your face in your partner's crotch."
"Careful gentlemen lick don't bite, live from New York it's Saturday night."
Not a bad way to start the show at all, short, sweet and fun.
Patrick Swayze Monologue
3 Stars
Swayze dances with his wife
Swayze says that it's great to be back in NYC because last time he was here he got mugged. Then was shot and killed and came back from the dead, actually that was just his latest hit movie, Ghost. What he really wants to do tonight is dance with his wife of 15 years (they were married until his death). They do a nice, sweet, little dance and it's not funny at all but it was entertaining and made me smile seeing these two people in love express it on live television.
Pumping Up With Hans And Franz
Swayze says that it's great to be back in NYC because last time he was here he got mugged. Then was shot and killed and came back from the dead, actually that was just his latest hit movie, Ghost. What he really wants to do tonight is dance with his wife of 15 years (they were married until his death). They do a nice, sweet, little dance and it's not funny at all but it was entertaining and made me smile seeing these two people in love express it on live television.
Pumping Up With Hans And Franz
4 Stars
Hans and Franz meet with Swayze and Franz discovers some hidden feelings
Hans and Franz welcome Patrick Swayze to their show where they talk about pumping iron and flexing their muscles. He wants to talk about flexibility but not just flexing their muscles, stretching and doing the splits. This was around the time I wrote in my notes that this feels like a Flip Wilson or Sonny and Cher sketch. That's not necessarily a bad thing it's just something I noticed. There's an innocent lameness to all of this. Hans and Franz have absolutely no edge and Swayze looks at them like Elton John looking at Kermit the Frog. After Swayze leaves, Hans can't stop talking about his sturdy buttock muscles and hairless pectorals. Franz can't stop thinking about it and starts daydreaming about Swayze riding a white stallion. Frustrated, Hans throws to the end of the show. We never get any closure on Franz's sexual desires and wants. I hope he's happy somewhere and was able to love himself.
Ghost
5 Stars
A recently deceased man sees parts of his lover he was never meant to
Victoria is walking around her apartment, sad and pining for her deceased lover. Swayze enters as a ghost and tells her he loves her and tries to warn her of imminent danger. Before he can explain further she picks her ear, eats food off the floor, burps and smells the pits of a shirt from the hamper before putting it on. All of this grosses out Swayze. Then she puts on their song 'Unchained Melody' but sings along to it very off-key. Things get more disturbing as she wipes her nose on the couch pillow, chews her toenails and pulls out a 6-inch piece of lint from her belly button. By the time Chris Rock comes in as Whoopi Goldberg's character from Ghost, Swayze has had enough and decides to take his ass back to heaven. This was juvenile and seems like low hanging fruit and an obvious joke but I loved it.
Tax Ad
2 Stars
Sam Walton, founder of Walmart and one of the richest men in America, is rightly opposed to a new tax bill designed to tax the super rich. He pledges to pay $100,000 to anyone who writes their congressman and tells them to vote against it. How is it in his interest to pay out such a sum to a potential 130 million voters just to avoid a 3% tax hike? Just let him worry about that.
Super Feud
Tax Ad
2 Stars
Sam Walton, founder of Walmart and one of the richest men in America, is rightly opposed to a new tax bill designed to tax the super rich. He pledges to pay $100,000 to anyone who writes their congressman and tells them to vote against it. How is it in his interest to pay out such a sum to a potential 130 million voters just to avoid a 3% tax hike? Just let him worry about that.
Super Feud
4 Stars
Two battling singers record songs about each other
Now you can own the best songs from the two biggest rivals in Latin American music. Montenero and Valendez and their competing songs like 'One Ton of Fan Mail' and 'Two Tons of Fan Mail' or 'Four Tons of Fan Mail'. You can also have other songs like 'He Had an Eye Job', 'He Stuffs His Trousers', 'That Never Happened' and 'It Fell Out Of His Pant Leg'. I don't know why they had to do Mexican accents, but I forgave it because it was funny. I also appreciated how they sang the songs rather than rely on the old standard 'have Don Pardo read a list'.
Tax Ad
Now you can own the best songs from the two biggest rivals in Latin American music. Montenero and Valendez and their competing songs like 'One Ton of Fan Mail' and 'Two Tons of Fan Mail' or 'Four Tons of Fan Mail'. You can also have other songs like 'He Had an Eye Job', 'He Stuffs His Trousers', 'That Never Happened' and 'It Fell Out Of His Pant Leg'. I don't know why they had to do Mexican accents, but I forgave it because it was funny. I also appreciated how they sang the songs rather than rely on the old standard 'have Don Pardo read a list'.
Tax Ad
2 Stars
Sam Walton returns to rescind his previous offer. It turns out that his math was off and he would never be able to afford it. His new offer is if you write your congressman he will put your name in a barrel and if he picks your name you will win a free hat. How is it in his interest to give out a free hat to one person? You let him worry about that. We then hear an offstage crash and Hartman ad libs, "You let me worry about that too". I liked the non scripted moment but this was 3 commercial parodies in a row.
Mariah Carey
"Vision Of Love"
Weekend Update
"Oh boy, i hope they don't ask me to touch my nose."
A. Whitney Brown does some political comedy about voting during the government shutdown. I feel like I'll never be able to accurately judge these pieces. They are too dry and topical for me to get into. I wonder what people who were really big into politics at this time think of this. I wonder what I will think in 20 years if I watched some old Daily Show clips. Would they hold up if I got all the references? I have no idea what was going on at the time so it is impossible for me to relate to this.
Chippendales
Chippendales
5 Stars
Two aspiring Chippendales dancers square off
You gotta know this one. Swayze is Adrian and Farley is Barney, they are both auditioning to be Chippendales dancers. As they dance, Farley's pants stay on his body as if by some gravity defying magic. There's the jiggling, the butt crack, the sheer commitment, the energy, Farley's incredible and surprising athleticism. There's also a sweetness and innocence. Farley is taking off his shirt to expose his girth for a laugh but there's no crassness here. Farley got a lot of flack for being a Belushi clone but to me there is no comparison. Farley was completely his own animal and there will never be another. There's a coldness with Belushi that doesn't exist in Farley. He let you in and made you feel like your best friend with his comedy. That's probably why it hit me so hard personally when he died. To this day his is the only celebrity death that made me cry. Also, this is Farley's 4th show and this is one of the most iconic SNL sketches ever. That's a feat in itself.
The Tonight Show
3 Stars
Johnny Carson welcomes Arsenio Hall to his show
Johnny is mid-interview with Susan Dey who leaves prematurely because she doesn't want to talk about The Partridge Family or Danny Bonaduce. His next guest is Arsenio Hall whose competing late night talk show is becoming more popular with younger kids. Johnny did not know that. Arsenio asks Johnny if he will be stepping down in favor of Jay Leno. Ed McMahon says that he will stay on if Leno takes over. The sketch just kind of ends there without a punchline and feels kinds of mean spirited. I remember hearing a story somewhere that Carson saw this sketch and was not a fan.
White Trash Bed And Breakfast
A travel critic visits
This sketch gets its own theme song. Swayze is a young entrepreneur in a white trash family who has converted one of the rooms in their trailer to a bed and breakfast. He has also invited a travel critic to stay and is hoping for a good review. Jan as the mother screams while making breakfast, Victoria comes in pregnant and smoking, Kevin and Rob come in and wrestle and Mike brings a dead dog in and throws it on the table. All this while the critic is still waiting on his box lunch of an onion and ketchup sandwich. Phil comes in as the recently released from prison father who is upset that nobody showed up to his parole hearing. He doesn't like the idea of a B&B and wants to convert it to a day spa and resort. Not bad, had some laughs but I'll probably forget about it soon.
Mariah Carey returns to sing "Vanishing" and there is no evidence of cheating this time. The high notes are out in force. Just an incredible voice.
Mouse Trap Seminar
4 Stars
A night school class about the dangers of mouse traps
Kevin is teaching a class but his students just aren't grasping the concept. They can't take cheese out of a mouse trap, or a rat trap, or a smaller mouse trap. Even if they really want the cheese. Bob Odenkirk comes in with a crab dangling from his nose and is told he has the wrong room. When Kevin dims the lights to play a film strip about mouse traps, Dana gets up to grab the cheese but is told that it's only 'movie cheese'. Just the appropriate amount of dumb to end the show.
FINAL ANALYSIS
Kevin is teaching a class but his students just aren't grasping the concept. They can't take cheese out of a mouse trap, or a rat trap, or a smaller mouse trap. Even if they really want the cheese. Bob Odenkirk comes in with a crab dangling from his nose and is told he has the wrong room. When Kevin dims the lights to play a film strip about mouse traps, Dana gets up to grab the cheese but is told that it's only 'movie cheese'. Just the appropriate amount of dumb to end the show.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"That is funny, funny stuff"
Average
3.5 Stars
MVP
Chris Farley
Chippendales, White Trash Bed And Breakfast, Mouse Trap Seminar
Chippendales, White Trash Bed And Breakfast, Mouse Trap Seminar
Best Sketch
Chippendales
Worst Sketch
Tax Ad
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
You know where I like my commercial parodies, right after the monologue where they belong. Put Tax Ad up front and don't split it up. It barely has any jokes in it so it's not really worth splitting into two parts. Then Super Feud needs to move closer to the end of the show. It's perfect silly, stupid stuff that's perfect for a 10-1 spot. I feel like Chippendales should move up but I completely understand not wanting to lead off with it. Remember, Farley was not a proven asset. This could have bombed. The Tonight Show does need to move up though. It was way too late for a sketch like that.
Host Analysis
I can't really say that Swayze was great but he was definitely good and game for anything they put him in. I don't point to him for the reason to this episode's success like I can point to say, Susan Lucci for her episode's failures. Swayze was having fun and fit in well with the ensemble. His presence was felt during the episode but he never dominated, and that's a compliment.
Final Thoughts
About as close to classic as you're gonna get. There wasn't a single sketch I didn't like. The weakest thing here only stands out as weak because the rest of the episode is so strong. You also have two sketches that are probably gonna make my best of the season list and one that is bonafide iconic. If you don't believe me, check out this tattoo that I am jealous I didn't think of first.
Up Next
L.A. Law star Jimmy Smits hosts with musical guest World Party. So far that makes 5 hosts who are not known for comedy. Can a brother get a Martin Short up in here?
I mean no disrespect to Patrick Swayze may he R.I.P but what a mullet he had here
ReplyDeleteDon't think that's disrespectful at all. That mullet is an accomplishment, not a detriment. I forgot to mention it but I was impressed how they were able to stuff all of that hair under a wig for the Ghost sketch.
ReplyDeleteI noticed that too His hair is not that long in Ghost he must have been growing it out for Point Break btw very detailed reviews as always from the pics it looks like Dennis Miller is just running out the clock this was his last season
ReplyDelete