“I’ve never been more free than when my big white ass is flapping in the breeze”
Cold Open: The Situation Room
2 Stars
Expelled congressman George Santos makes one final press conference on his way out of office. I didn’t like this, but I’m tired of starting off so negative. Yes, I just saw this same bit in the last episode and yes, I am tired of political cold opens but some people must like this, so who am I to rain on the parade? There’s also always hope that this is the last time we see it (just out of curiosity I looked ahead and am genuinely surprised that it is). Once he started singing Candle In The Wind I was rolling my eyes and this is way too long but instead of letting it affect my opinion on the show right out the gate I’m instead gonna let it wash over me and forget about it before the monologue is over.
Emma Stone Monologue
2 Stars
Emma joins the 5-Timer’s Club and Tina Fey and Candice Bergen show up to induct her and read off cue cards like they’re presenting at an awards show. They talk about the women’s section and give her a jacket and make jokes about Woody Harrelson smoking weed. Maybe it’s because they’ve played out the 5-Timer’s Club at this point but this felt lame.
Question Quest
3 Stars
Michael hosts a game show with the sole purpose of pawning off his tortoise on a hapless contestant. Emma gets the first question right and wins a 37 year old tortoise who will most likely live another 100 years. I liked the premise and Punkie got some laughs as the dumbest contestant who confuses tortoises with tortillas but who is this Michael Longfellow guy? This is a sketch that could really deliver with a fun host. I’m thinking Hader obviously but Beck could kill it too. From this cast I could see Dismukes do something fun with it. But it needs someone capable of a speed other than low energy sarcasm.
Fully Naked In New York
Bowen and Emma sing about riding on the back of a garbage truck fully naked. A catchy song and I liked that we got a variety in what people do naked to feel free, cleaning gutters, directing traffic. Hey, that’s really positive since I literally complained about the lack of variety in the Jason Momoa music video from last episode. This is all about positivity. It’s a fun show that I want to watch.
Tree Lighting Gig
To Hell with Emma’s 5th time, this is also the 5th appearance of Treece Henderson. I feel like this is the 25th time I’ve seen this character. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because he dates back 10 years and he’s basically the same as every other Kenan character. He ‘twiddle dee dee’s in between phone calls with the hotel about sewage and cries about his lost suede scooter boots.
Please Don’t Destroy
AI
The concept of Emma getting replaced in a film by a horrible looking AI face on a stand-in played by Punkie is fun. But, and I hate myself for saying this, I was confused by the logic of this sketch. We’re watching a short that was edited and I’ll buy that they kept in mistakes because that’s the joke. But then when Marcello replaces one of the guys and the other guy gets “yassified” and we see footage of the editing room I was lost. I know full well that if I heard someone else say that I would call them an assbole, but that’s how I felt. It seemed like they wrote this one straight through and didn’t bother with a second pass.
What’s In The Kiln?
Chloe2 and Heidi host a show about amateur pottery. All they can make are bowls and uneven finger basins. Emma joins them as their guest and is also bad at pottery. I was enjoying this for what it was for a while. Eventually I asked, is this all they’re gonna do? Then Emma pulls out a clay model of her mother’s vagina and it just felt like they needed a naughty ending. Felt like much ado about nothing.
Noah Kahan
“Dial Drunk”
Weekend Update
Make Your Own Kind Of Music
I had heard that this was a new classic, or maybe I heard it sucked, I can’t remember now. Point is, as soon as it started I said to myself, oh this is that Mama Cass sketch I heard about. I know I saw someone specifically point it out as a highlight for Chloe after she was let go. I didn’t like this. It’s about the song Make Your Own Kind Of Music by Mama Cass. Emma plays a guy who says the song will be popular, then forgotten, then popular again 40 years later when it’s used in movie montages. Then she acts out 3 scenarios while Chloe as Mama sings. She pretends to be wasting zombies, a prostitute getting revenge on a room full of big wigs, and a back-from-the-dead Joan Of Arc. First off, is Make Your Own Kind Of Music in any movie? I know it was on Lost and I guess Zombieland based off this sketch but I can’t think of any others. So already I’m not on board with the premise that this song is overused. But be that as it may, is it funny? Not really. Emma acts out a slow motion violent rampage, then another, then another, then Mama Cass does one and we end in my least favorite way where this was actually a commercial. What I like least about it is the lack of variety. All 3 of Emma’s examples are violent rampages set to the same song. Chloe’s voice is nice though and it’s a good enough song that you don’t mind hearing it a few times in a row.
Noah Kahan returns with “Stick Season”
Posters
Come on, we’re not doing this again, are we? The fact that this is so late in the show should clue you in to its quality. Just like when they brought back that rap sketch in the Timothee Chalamet episode I have to commend them for sparing us a Pete Davidson cameo. It’s another sketch just like the other ones where a kid gets advice from the posters in his room. The first one was fun, a second one felt unnecessary, a third one is far too much. This time Emma is solely focused on standing in front of a car with a wrench. The audience doesn’t seem to be digging this either, so at least it’s not just me. The joke of the sketch switches from Emma to Mikey being too ugly to play David Beckham and we lose all focus.
Diet Coke By Olay
A facial cleanser made from Diet Coke. The girls splash brown water on their face as if it were a beauty product. The visual was fun at first but then I quickly realized this was basically Crystal Gravy but a little more lame.
FINAL ANALYSIS
“I was worried my mother’s vagina would be a tough sell”
Average
2 Stars
MVP
Punkie Johnson
Question Quest, Fully Naked In New York, AI
Best Sketch
Fully Naked In New York
Worst Sketch
Posters
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
I would bet that Posters was earlier in the dress rehearsal. It feels weird coming so late. I would swap it with Tree Lighting Gig. You could also move PDD to the back half since there’s not much there. There’s not much anywhere now that I think about it. This one wasn’t very good.
Host Analysis
Real forgettable in the first half, but that was more due to the sketches themselves. She got her two big character pieces after Update which probably worked more for others than they did me. I think she’s a fine actress, although two Oscars seems too many, she’s an average SNL host, 5 episodes is probably too many.
Final Thoughts
I feel like maybe I’m too negative but I’m also trying to stay positive. I didn’t like the cold open but I’m thinking things can get better. The monologue was lame but it can get better. There wasn’t much in the first half other than the music video and there wasn’t much in the back half either. I want to quit being so negative. Nobody wants to hear that the show sucks all the time. And I started doing this whole blog specifically for Season 20. I LOVE bad SNL. But this isn’t bad it’s just kinda lame. I’ll watch Paul Reiser and Neon Deion right now instead of this. But wait, I didn’t feel that way at the time. You know what oddly makes SNL better? Distance. It’s never good at the time. It’s always better back then. Maybe I’ll look back on this in 5 years and think it was pretty good. You know what will actually happen? It will get worse and I’ll be thinking about these as the good old days. Why can’t we have funny people on the show like Michael Longfellow? I feel bad being negative because it’s current. It’s all fun and games to make fun of Anthony Michael Hall but Devon Walker is a guy with feelings just trying to do a job. It’s not his fault I can’t stand his lifeless face in sketches. And maybe he’ll turn a corner. It took 3 seasons for me to warm up to Tracy Morgan. See? I can be positive. Maybe I’ll like the next episode. I swear sometimes SNL feels like an abusive relationship, always making me apologize for it when it’s bad and should know better.
Up Next
Adam Driver returns with Olivia Rodrigo
I feel like all of these recent reviews involve hosts where I'd much rather see a review of their previous episode instead. Like, I want to see thoughts on Adam Driver directing "Aw, man, I'm all out of cash!," Jason Momoa in the GE Big Boy Appliances ad, and Emma as the serious actress in the gay porn. Those are all genuine classics (at least in my view, George may agree or not) and we're not seeing much in the way of those this season. (I do have a much higher tolerance for Bowen as George Santos, though.)
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