"Two puffy nipples coming up"
Cold Open: The Presidential Couple
4 Stars
Al Gore and George W. Bush decide to be president together
This was a weird time in U.S. history. For like 2 weeks we weren't sure who had won the presidential election. With it still being too close to call, Gore and Bush have decided that they're both going to be president and we get an Odd Couple parody of the two of them sharing the White House. A cute little spoof that should have ended after the theme song. It keeps going long after we get the joke. I was confused about the band-aid on Will's face until a Weekend Update joke later reminded me that George W. Bush had an infected boil at this time.
Calista Flockhart Monologue
3 Stars
This was a weird time in U.S. history. For like 2 weeks we weren't sure who had won the presidential election. With it still being too close to call, Gore and Bush have decided that they're both going to be president and we get an Odd Couple parody of the two of them sharing the White House. A cute little spoof that should have ended after the theme song. It keeps going long after we get the joke. I was confused about the band-aid on Will's face until a Weekend Update joke later reminded me that George W. Bush had an infected boil at this time.
Calista Flockhart Monologue
3 Stars
Calista gets a visit from Ally McBeal
Rachel makes her 3rd appearance impersonating Calista Flockhart and she is cinched to the max. The joke about Calista at the time was that she was waifish thin and the first time Rachel played her she had her head behind a skeleton like puppet. I don't recall if she was this skinny in the Dylan McDermott episode but here they seem to have done something to her to emulate Calista's features. The two have a conversation about their show which flew over my head as I never watched it. Ally wants to meet Ricky Martin and Jimmy Fallon while Calista wants her to stop being so neurotic and to eat a burger.
Cracklin' Oat Flakes
3 Stars
Rachel makes her 3rd appearance impersonating Calista Flockhart and she is cinched to the max. The joke about Calista at the time was that she was waifish thin and the first time Rachel played her she had her head behind a skeleton like puppet. I don't recall if she was this skinny in the Dylan McDermott episode but here they seem to have done something to her to emulate Calista's features. The two have a conversation about their show which flew over my head as I never watched it. Ally wants to meet Ricky Martin and Jimmy Fallon while Calista wants her to stop being so neurotic and to eat a burger.
Cracklin' Oat Flakes
3 Stars
A breakfast cereal with Ecstasy
Will is all out of his regular breakfast cereal so his wife suggest he tries Cracklin' Oat Flakes, the only cereal that contains Ecstasy. Will then goes on a trip where he's making out with his boss at work while wearing a Dr. Seuss hat. I felt like this could have gone a little farther in absurdity but it instead got out while the getting was good so I can't fault it for that.
Gore Rally
2 Stars
Will is all out of his regular breakfast cereal so his wife suggest he tries Cracklin' Oat Flakes, the only cereal that contains Ecstasy. Will then goes on a trip where he's making out with his boss at work while wearing a Dr. Seuss hat. I felt like this could have gone a little farther in absurdity but it instead got out while the getting was good so I can't fault it for that.
Gore Rally
2 Stars
The Culps sing for Al Gore supporters
I don't know why it always gets me. Every single time we see The Culps the sketch is set up as something else before they come out. Here we get Calista addressing a crowd of Al Gore supporters who are very tired after the last few days. She apologizes for having sex with so many of them as she gets really easy when she gets tired. Just kidding though, this isn't a character piece for the host this is just an introduction to The Culps, the High School music teachers who like to sing medleys. They sing 'More, More, More' (Gore, Gore, Gore), 'Maneater' (Ralph Nader), 'Loser' by Beck, 'Last Resort' by Papa Roach among others. If it weren't for the solid performances from Ana and Will this would be a lame Mark Russell bit.
Nick Burns, Your Company Computer Guy
I don't know why it always gets me. Every single time we see The Culps the sketch is set up as something else before they come out. Here we get Calista addressing a crowd of Al Gore supporters who are very tired after the last few days. She apologizes for having sex with so many of them as she gets really easy when she gets tired. Just kidding though, this isn't a character piece for the host this is just an introduction to The Culps, the High School music teachers who like to sing medleys. They sing 'More, More, More' (Gore, Gore, Gore), 'Maneater' (Ralph Nader), 'Loser' by Beck, 'Last Resort' by Papa Roach among others. If it weren't for the solid performances from Ana and Will this would be a lame Mark Russell bit.
Nick Burns, Your Company Computer Guy
2 Stars
Nick finds a lady with common interests
It may not come as a huge shock but I've never been a fan of this Jimmy Fallon character. He's the guy who works in IT who makes fun of you for not knowing about computers. In this sketch he begins a romance with his co-worker played by Calista (trying a bit too hard here). They share a kiss and agree to go on a date. Not sure why anyone thought I would want to see Nick Burns get laid, but we got it.
Vice Presidential Address
It may not come as a huge shock but I've never been a fan of this Jimmy Fallon character. He's the guy who works in IT who makes fun of you for not knowing about computers. In this sketch he begins a romance with his co-worker played by Calista (trying a bit too hard here). They share a kiss and agree to go on a date. Not sure why anyone thought I would want to see Nick Burns get laid, but we got it.
Vice Presidential Address
4 Stars
Al Gore discusses the Florida election results
After mentioning multiple times that he won the popular vote in the national election, Al Gore is still not President and it has a lot to do with Florida, a state run by George W. Bush's brother. They used a confusing ballot in some counties of that state which had a lot of people accidentally voting for Pat Buchanan. Gore has further problems with the ballot, there are too many candidates, including two men named John, and it's not clear whether you're supposed to punch the dot, lick the dot or write the name of your candidate on the dot. He tells us some stories about confused elderly people accidentally mailing their ballots to Barbra Striesand or switching their long distance service. I wouldn't have minded merging this with the cold open. Start with this and then have George W. Bush interrupt to start The Presidential Couple.
Ricky Martin
After mentioning multiple times that he won the popular vote in the national election, Al Gore is still not President and it has a lot to do with Florida, a state run by George W. Bush's brother. They used a confusing ballot in some counties of that state which had a lot of people accidentally voting for Pat Buchanan. Gore has further problems with the ballot, there are too many candidates, including two men named John, and it's not clear whether you're supposed to punch the dot, lick the dot or write the name of your candidate on the dot. He tells us some stories about confused elderly people accidentally mailing their ballots to Barbra Striesand or switching their long distance service. I wouldn't have minded merging this with the cold open. Start with this and then have George W. Bush interrupt to start The Presidential Couple.
Ricky Martin
"She Bangs"
Ricky Martin gives a lively and energetic performance. Not much else to say about this.
Weekend Update
Things were a little better this week between Jimmy and Tina. A lot of good jokes about the election craziness. I'm hesitant to call it a success yet but I'm open minded that I may, may, eventually grow to like these two by the end of the season. Bill Clinton stops by to talk about the election and of the opinion that we don't need a President since he's already fixed everything. He's quickly joined by Janet Reno who tells us that she's gonna take care of this Florida situation.
Queen Elizabeth broke her collar bone recently and Chris Kattan is here with a terrible re-enactment. He comes out dressed as the queen, waves and falls down.
Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu are here to promote Charlie's Angels and hug and kiss each other. They all flirt with Jimmy and each other, which Jimmy enjoys until Tina breaks it up.
The Crocodile Hunter
2 Stars
Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu are here to promote Charlie's Angels and hug and kiss each other. They all flirt with Jimmy and each other, which Jimmy enjoys until Tina breaks it up.
The Crocodile Hunter
2 Stars
The Crocodile Hunter's wife gets repeatedly injured
Last time we saw Kattan and his impression of Steve Irwin he was the one getting injured and bitten by animals. For the second go his wife is the one getting her neck bitten by scorpions and covered in bats. I was not a fan of this at all and Chris and Calista both seemed like they were trying to top each other in annoying and loud performances.
Ricky Martin
Last time we saw Kattan and his impression of Steve Irwin he was the one getting injured and bitten by animals. For the second go his wife is the one getting her neck bitten by scorpions and covered in bats. I was not a fan of this at all and Chris and Calista both seemed like they were trying to top each other in annoying and loud performances.
Ricky Martin
"Loaded"
Before Ricky sings we get a little bit of Kattan doing his wordless impression of the singer. Ricky interrupts and says something along the lines of "That is not She Bangs. It's all about She Bangs". I have no idea what that means but Ricky's second song is also a lot of fun.
Ladies & Cocktails
Before Ricky sings we get a little bit of Kattan doing his wordless impression of the singer. Ricky interrupts and says something along the lines of "That is not She Bangs. It's all about She Bangs". I have no idea what that means but Ricky's second song is also a lot of fun.
Ladies & Cocktails
3 Stars
Drunk, older women hit on some young studs
Molly and Calista are two old drunk ladies who gross out Jimmy and Jerry by talking openly about sex. Maybe I’m just old but I thought they needed to be a lot grosser to turn me off. The joke doesn’t work as well when I’m kind of attracted to these two old lady characters. I found myself siding with Will’s character who gladly joins them in a threesome at the end of the sketch. There was enough stupidity here to make this fun and all the performances were funny. This is the first sketch of the night where I’m enjoying Calista’s broad performance.
CBS Sports
Molly and Calista are two old drunk ladies who gross out Jimmy and Jerry by talking openly about sex. Maybe I’m just old but I thought they needed to be a lot grosser to turn me off. The joke doesn’t work as well when I’m kind of attracted to these two old lady characters. I found myself siding with Will’s character who gladly joins them in a threesome at the end of the sketch. There was enough stupidity here to make this fun and all the performances were funny. This is the first sketch of the night where I’m enjoying Calista’s broad performance.
CBS Sports
4 Stars
Dan Rather calls sporting events before they're over
A play on the news media calling the election too early in favor of Bush, CBS newsman Dan Rather is calling basketball games before they’re over. The Phoenix Suns win at halftime and The Utah Jazz have been named NBA champions. Darrell is incredible here as he stays in his Dan Rather voice while saying ESPN like phrases such as “You can bet your mother’s Maxi-Pad”.
FINAL ANALYSISA play on the news media calling the election too early in favor of Bush, CBS newsman Dan Rather is calling basketball games before they’re over. The Phoenix Suns win at halftime and The Utah Jazz have been named NBA champions. Darrell is incredible here as he stays in his Dan Rather voice while saying ESPN like phrases such as “You can bet your mother’s Maxi-Pad”.
"It's gotta be New Year's Eve, 4th of July and your first hand job all rolled into one"
Average
3 Stars
MVP
Darrell Hammond
The Presidential Couple, Vice Presidential Address, Weekend Update, CBS Sports
The Presidential Couple, Vice Presidential Address, Weekend Update, CBS Sports
Best Sketch
CBS Sports
Worst Sketch
Nick Burns, Your Company Computer Guy
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
Horatio is dressed as Babar the Elephant during the goodnights. So I would like to see whatever sketch that was. Cut Nick Burns or The Culps and give me that Babar sketch.
Host Analysis
At the start of the show I got the impression that she was trying too hard. She’s way over the top in the first two sketches but she chilled out as the night went on. By the time we got to Ladies And Cocktails, I was starting to enjoy her. I don’t think she’d be at the top of my list of people to have back but if she did get a second episode I would have high hopes for it.
Final Thoughts
Much like Calista’s performances, the show got better as it went along. The recurring segments up front killed the momentum but Ricky Martin provided a boost of energy and we ended up with a pretty solid second half. I even enjoyed Update this week which I believe is the first time that’s happened all season. A really good time capsule episode as well. If you want to know what life was like in the year 2000 this is pretty close. We were all watching Ally McBeal, listening to Ricky Martin, and wondering who the Hell was gonna be President.
Up Next
I knew there was a reason this season appealed to me. Tom Green hosts. I haven’t seen this one since it aired live. I remember it being interesting and unique but I can’t remember if it was funny.
I knew there was a reason this season appealed to me. Tom Green hosts. I haven’t seen this one since it aired live. I remember it being interesting and unique but I can’t remember if it was funny.
Since this review was abit late will tomorrow's be?
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