"Ass a little bony, but that's okay"
Cold Open: A Glimpse Of Our Possible Future
5 Stars
George W. Bush addresses the nation
A look into the future shows what the world would be if George W. Bush wins the election. He's hiding under his desk covered in beer cans and a charcoal grill ablaze. The country is in the midst of a civil war, the Great Lakes are on fire, Dick Cheney has been killed in a hunting accident, and it's only been 2 weeks. We're just a few days away from the election at this point.
Charlize Theron Monologue
A look into the future shows what the world would be if George W. Bush wins the election. He's hiding under his desk covered in beer cans and a charcoal grill ablaze. The country is in the midst of a civil war, the Great Lakes are on fire, Dick Cheney has been killed in a hunting accident, and it's only been 2 weeks. We're just a few days away from the election at this point.
Charlize Theron Monologue
4 Stars
Tracy has a talk with his fellow African American
This is 3 years before Monster, we didn't yet know that Charlize Theron was the greatest actress ever. She mentions that she was born in South Africa and Tracy comes up from the audience. He skipped practice so he's just watching the show tonight. He's not wrong, aside from a voice in the TV Funhouse this is his only appearance tonight. They bond over being African American with some Newports and a story about getting kicked out of a theater for having a lizard. There's some things that only Tracy Morgan can pull off and this is one of those.
This is 3 years before Monster, we didn't yet know that Charlize Theron was the greatest actress ever. She mentions that she was born in South Africa and Tracy comes up from the audience. He skipped practice so he's just watching the show tonight. He's not wrong, aside from a voice in the TV Funhouse this is his only appearance tonight. They bond over being African American with some Newports and a story about getting kicked out of a theater for having a lizard. There's some things that only Tracy Morgan can pull off and this is one of those.
TRL
3 Stars
Gemini's Twin debuts on MTV
Maya gets her first lead off sketch and recurring character. This is a send up of Destiny's Child, complete with a parody of their music video Bills Bills Bills. I always enjoy the performances by Maya and Ana in these, I just never find them particularly funny. They mention their ever changing lineup and the fact that Charlize is only in the group for eye candy. She would bring this sketch up in her monologue 13 years later as an example of her poor singing ability. At one point they all drop their "black" voices and start talking like valley girls, and I'm not sure if that's a reference to something or just a cute bit. This sketch did give us Charlize Theron dancing provocatively, which I'm never opposed to.
A Glimpse Of Our Possible Future
Maya gets her first lead off sketch and recurring character. This is a send up of Destiny's Child, complete with a parody of their music video Bills Bills Bills. I always enjoy the performances by Maya and Ana in these, I just never find them particularly funny. They mention their ever changing lineup and the fact that Charlize is only in the group for eye candy. She would bring this sketch up in her monologue 13 years later as an example of her poor singing ability. At one point they all drop their "black" voices and start talking like valley girls, and I'm not sure if that's a reference to something or just a cute bit. This sketch did give us Charlize Theron dancing provocatively, which I'm never opposed to.
A Glimpse Of Our Possible Future
5 Stars
Al Gore addresses the nation
We have a runner! In a vision of the future, Al Gore interrupts the Super Bowl to go over America's homework from last week. As he starts to express his disappointment, Bill Clinton (Darrell in a pre taped video) comes out with a beer and a bowl of Cheetos.
Marla And Cody's Blair Witch Tour!
We have a runner! In a vision of the future, Al Gore interrupts the Super Bowl to go over America's homework from last week. As he starts to express his disappointment, Bill Clinton (Darrell in a pre taped video) comes out with a beer and a bowl of Cheetos.
Marla And Cody's Blair Witch Tour!
1 Star
The Goth Talk kids take a spooky tour
Charlize is dressed as a witch in the woods guiding tour groups through the forest of the Blair Witch when we pan out to see the Goth Talk kids. So they're on a Blair Witch tour but this isn't an episode of their show, this is a commercial for the tour. That means the makers of this commercial decided to only highlight one tour that makes the tour look really shitty. These are plot holes in SNL sketches I think about when I'm not enjoying them. First off, this is the 8th appearance of Goth Talk after almost a year long absence. Secondly, The Blair Witch Project had been out for well over a year and had already been parodied to death. Hell, SNL had a whole sketch last year about how many Blair Witch parodies have already been done. This was so lame.
The All New Adventures Of Mr. T
Charlize is dressed as a witch in the woods guiding tour groups through the forest of the Blair Witch when we pan out to see the Goth Talk kids. So they're on a Blair Witch tour but this isn't an episode of their show, this is a commercial for the tour. That means the makers of this commercial decided to only highlight one tour that makes the tour look really shitty. These are plot holes in SNL sketches I think about when I'm not enjoying them. First off, this is the 8th appearance of Goth Talk after almost a year long absence. Secondly, The Blair Witch Project had been out for well over a year and had already been parodied to death. Hell, SNL had a whole sketch last year about how many Blair Witch parodies have already been done. This was so lame.
The All New Adventures Of Mr. T
4 Stars
Mr. T looks for work
One of my favorite oddballs from last season makes a return appearance. He crosses a picket line of actors to audition for a Maxi Pad commercial but when they tell him he's wrong for the part he beats up the other two actors, Michael Gross and Spuds McKenzie, and starts a fight with the crew. The whole time he's shouting inspirational slogans. You can't really explain this, you just gotta watch it.
The Seven Year Itch
One of my favorite oddballs from last season makes a return appearance. He crosses a picket line of actors to audition for a Maxi Pad commercial but when they tell him he's wrong for the part he beats up the other two actors, Michael Gross and Spuds McKenzie, and starts a fight with the crew. The whole time he's shouting inspirational slogans. You can't really explain this, you just gotta watch it.
The Seven Year Itch
2 Stars
Joe DiMaggio thinks the crew is too fresh
Marilyn Monroe is on the set of The Seven Year Itch and it's the iconic subway scene. Her husband, Joe DiMaggio takes offense to the crew being too handsy. Parnell puts makeup on her chest, Darrell calls her 'honey', Horatio blatantly squeezes her breasts, and a crew of guys crawl under her skirt. I was not liking this at all until Will saved it with a loud "Yowza! I'm in Heaven!" as he peeked under Marilyn's skirt. Not much else worked for me here. Writer T. Sean Shannon gets his second speaking line of the season with "I can see her patch", a line that made me do a double take as it seemed a little too racy for the show.
Paul Simon
Marilyn Monroe is on the set of The Seven Year Itch and it's the iconic subway scene. Her husband, Joe DiMaggio takes offense to the crew being too handsy. Parnell puts makeup on her chest, Darrell calls her 'honey', Horatio blatantly squeezes her breasts, and a crew of guys crawl under her skirt. I was not liking this at all until Will saved it with a loud "Yowza! I'm in Heaven!" as he peeked under Marilyn's skirt. Not much else worked for me here. Writer T. Sean Shannon gets his second speaking line of the season with "I can see her patch", a line that made me do a double take as it seemed a little too racy for the show.
Paul Simon
"Hurricane Eye"
Weekend Update
Rachel Dratch is supposed to talk about Korea but instead was inspired by a TV show she watched called Surprise Weddings. She proposes to Jimmy who declines because he's too busy playing video games. She cries and runs off.
We also get Hugh Fink with the Jewish perspective. He talks about how being the only Jewish writer on a comedy show is like being the only black basketball player. Then he goes into a Joe Lieberman impression. This had me flashing back to Kevin Brennan from last season as we get another guy who seems really uncomfortable on camera. I’ve seen some of Hugh’s stand-up act so this is not a dig at him as a comedian but this was just missing the rhythm of a good desk piece. Like when a stand-up does their act on a talk show and they have to put it in the form of a conversation and it sounds a little unnatural. Not all stand-up bits belong on Update.
Bedtime Stories
1 Star
Mr. Peepers helps a woman in therapy
We set up Molly and Charlize in a soft core porno but, surprise it’s the 10th appearance of Mr. Peepers. He arrives to very little fanfare as well. Mr. Peepers does a dance to help Charlize with her sexual inhibitions...who am I kidding? We all know why this sketch exists. It wouldn’t be an episode of SNL hosted by an attractive female without a sketch where Kattan paws all over her. I had no fun with this and I started to feel bad for Charlize the longer this went on. Especially when you get to her ripping off her shirt and humping Mr. Peepers while he spits apple in her face. I respect and admire her too much to watch her do this.
A Glimpse Of Our Possible Future
5 Stars
Ralph Nader addresses the nation
Our final installment of tonight’s runner has Ralph Nader speaking from the Oval Office as pigs fly and devils toss snowballs.
Audition
2 Stars
The DeMarco brothers audition for Paul Simon
Back after their debut in last season’s Britney Spears episode, the DeMarco brothers do very literal interpretive dances to Paul Simon songs. Kattan and Parnell are fun here but Paul Simon is dragging down the pace of this.
The Coconut Bangers Ball: It's A Rap!
5 Stars
Robert Goulet sings your favorite rap songs
Will debuts his oddball Robert Goulet impression in an advertisement for a rap CD. Not since Charlie Rocket have we heard such an uncomfortable silence after use of the N-word. Goulet sings The Thong Somg, Big Poppa, and Who Let The Dogs Out. I was equal parts laughing and clenching my jaw during this. For our right absurdity, I wanna give this5 stars but I also want to knock it down a notch for liberal use of the N-word. But this sketch ends with Robert Goulet having a staring contest with a stuffed ram, so it’s 5!stars.
Paul Simon returns with "Old" which is up-tempo and fun. Could have used this energy in your sketch, Paul.
Buena Vista Social Club
3 Stars
Cuban musicians sing dirty songs
Horatio and Jerry sing while Will translates their songs to his date, Charlize. The songs are all filthy and direct threats to have sex with his girlfriend. Not much else to say about this one, it was cute.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"You wouldn't hire a clown to fix a leak in the John"
Average
3.3 Stars
MVP
Will Ferrell
A Glimpse Of Our Possible Future, The Seven Year Itch, The Coconut Bangers Ball: It's A Rap, Buena Vista Social Club
A Glimpse Of Our Possible Future, The Seven Year Itch, The Coconut Bangers Ball: It's A Rap, Buena Vista Social Club
Best Sketch
A Glimpse Of Our Possible Future runner
Worst Sketch
Bedtime Stories
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
I love me a good runner and the possible presidential addresses in this episode were really fun. This episode had a nice flow except for the three Chris Kattan stinkers. So instead of rearranging sketches this week I will just suggest that we fire Chris Kattan and Jimmy Fallon. This episode was really good but you have two barnacles weighing it down. Both Goth Talk and Mr. Peepers stunk and should have been retired by now. Then you have The DeMarco Brothers which wasn't really Kattan's fault as Paul Simon was the one who brought that sketch down. As for Jimmy, his Weekend Update stumbles may make him endearing to some but not for me and his timing in The Seven Year Itch was a big reason that sketch didn't work for me until Will Ferrell came out and saved it.
Host Analysis
As I said earlier, this is 3 years before Monster. In 2000 Charlize Theron was the hot girl from The Devil's Advocate, we had no idea that she was capable of absolutely anything. So I don't blame the show for not using her to her full potential. I mean, they are to blame but I'll cut them slack since this is just par for the course how the show uses attractive females. But that's what bothered me the most. So many sketches where the male cast is just groping her. Not just Kattan as Mr. Peepers but we get Horatio and Jerry singing lustful songs at her, everyone takes a turn with her in The Seven Year Itch and, while the role calls for this, she's just eye candy in Gemini's Twin. I started to feel a little bad for her as the night rolled along, especially when she's trying to pretend Chris Kattan spitting apples in her face is sexy. Who knows, maybe she's in to that, or she just might be the finest actress of her generation and a guy dressed like Li'l Abner is dry humping her.
Final Thoughts
Final Thoughts
Even with the duds this gets the best sketch average of the season. We get the Glimpse Of Our Possible Future runner, Robert Goulet, Tracy Morgan in the monologue, the debut of Gemini's Twin and Maya Rudolph in a way, a beautiful and charming host, and a pretty solid TV Funhouse. So this episode had more ups than downs, but the downs made me mad. The Blair Witch Tour is instantly forgettable and left my brain almost as quickly as it entered but I think I'm gonna hold on to that Mr. Peepers sketch and that Jimmy Fallon Weekend Update as things I genuinely dislike about this season. Nobody was clamoring for more Mr. Peepers. We get two more during Kattan's tenure and both are with attractive female hosts (Katie Holmes and Cameron Diaz). This is just Kattan wanting to paw a pretty lady, pure and simple. As for Jimmy, he ended up recovering but that first half of Weekend Update was a sad state of affairs due to his performance.
Up Next
Ally McBeal star Calista Flockhart hosts with musical guest Ricky Martin. I'm fairly certain I remember Rachel Dratch doing her Calista impression during the monologue. Other than that, I have no recollection of this one.
When will the next review be up?
ReplyDelete