"I think my whore is dead"
Cold Open: Phone Chat
5 Stars
Bill Clinton has a late night call with Saddam, Monica and Tim Meadows
Bill Clinton is calling Saddam Hussein late at night. He would really like a war to use as a distraction from the Monica Lewinsky scandal, like that movie 'Wag The Dog' which Saddam saw and thought Dustin Hoffman was terrific in. Saddam doesn't want a war but before they can talk further, Monica calls in on the other line. She wants to know if Bill is watching Dawson's Creek. Bill says he's taping it and doesn't want any spoilers. Bill patches Monica through on a 3 way call and Saddam brings in his good buddy, Tim Meadows from SNL. Tim's been talking to Lorne to try and get Saddam to host SNL but has been having trouble with the network. Saddam says it would be fulfilling a life long dream to host as he would love to show off his Jimmy Stewart impression and he has always wanted to scream the sign on. They all give him a chance to try it out and Saddam screams into the camera, "Lifetime from the New York, it's Saturday Fun Hour!". This stupid bit of fun had me laughing consistently. Hammond's Clinton is always fun, Ferrell's take on Saddam was hilarious, I liked Molly's Monica this time and the absurdity of Tim playing himself was icing on the cake.
Garth Brooks Monologue
Bill Clinton is calling Saddam Hussein late at night. He would really like a war to use as a distraction from the Monica Lewinsky scandal, like that movie 'Wag The Dog' which Saddam saw and thought Dustin Hoffman was terrific in. Saddam doesn't want a war but before they can talk further, Monica calls in on the other line. She wants to know if Bill is watching Dawson's Creek. Bill says he's taping it and doesn't want any spoilers. Bill patches Monica through on a 3 way call and Saddam brings in his good buddy, Tim Meadows from SNL. Tim's been talking to Lorne to try and get Saddam to host SNL but has been having trouble with the network. Saddam says it would be fulfilling a life long dream to host as he would love to show off his Jimmy Stewart impression and he has always wanted to scream the sign on. They all give him a chance to try it out and Saddam screams into the camera, "Lifetime from the New York, it's Saturday Fun Hour!". This stupid bit of fun had me laughing consistently. Hammond's Clinton is always fun, Ferrell's take on Saddam was hilarious, I liked Molly's Monica this time and the absurdity of Tim playing himself was icing on the cake.
Garth Brooks Monologue
2 Stars
Garth sings a song from his psychedelic days
Garth has dreamed of being on SNL since his first band in 1982. It was a psychedelic revival band called The Electric Gum Drop Convention. He would like to sing a song for us from those days which he does with the help of rapid unnecessary zooms, freezes, dissolves and other effects you might see in a music video from a 60s band. The song is not that humorous, nor do I think it was intended to be. It includes lyrics like "Saw you at a trip out party. Won't you join my peppermint mood." which isn't any crazier than what would be in a real song from the era. Garth comes off as up for a good time and says the musical guest tonight is "kinda lame". I'm sure it couldn't be lamer than the second time he hosted where his altar ego, Chris Gaines, performed.
Cowboys
Garth has dreamed of being on SNL since his first band in 1982. It was a psychedelic revival band called The Electric Gum Drop Convention. He would like to sing a song for us from those days which he does with the help of rapid unnecessary zooms, freezes, dissolves and other effects you might see in a music video from a 60s band. The song is not that humorous, nor do I think it was intended to be. It includes lyrics like "Saw you at a trip out party. Won't you join my peppermint mood." which isn't any crazier than what would be in a real song from the era. Garth comes off as up for a good time and says the musical guest tonight is "kinda lame". I'm sure it couldn't be lamer than the second time he hosted where his altar ego, Chris Gaines, performed.
Cowboys
4 Stars
Garth joins 3 real cowboys on a cattle drive
Will, Jim and Tim are discussing the cowboy life and how much the enjoy it. The simplicity of the cowboy life is what they enjoy the most like how you only need a good horse, a rifle and something to stick to your ribs. Then we pan over to Garth who agrees and also says he would be lost without his wireless microphone, 20 foot jumbo screen and laser light shows. Garth and the cowboys go back and forth like this for a while before one of the cowboys makes an observation.
"We've been on this cattle drive for 3 weeks and I've never seen you before."
Garth looks around and runs away but the cowboys do ponder what it would be like to swing off of helicopters and trash their hotel rooms after a big show. A slightly weak ending but a really funny sketch that shows just how ridiculous country singers in cowboy hats are.
Mango
2 Stars
Garth Brooks gets hypnotized by an exotic dancer
Did you miss the Brendan Fraser episode? How about the Samuel L. Jackson episode? You did? Good, then you may like Mango. If you saw either of those episodes then you've already seen this sketch. This is an exact replica of the last two times we've seen Mango just with a different actor. Garth sees Mango in a male strip club and gets hypnotized. He's giving a concert and dreams of Mango, he's reading a bedtime story to his daughter and his thoughts drift to Mango, he runs into Mango's dressing room where Mango tells him to get lost but still secretly seems to pine for him. The good thing here was Brooks who got some laughs from me with his performance. His look of love towards Mango while he's reading to his daughter was funny and genuine. The bad parts were that we've seen this exact sketch before and since there were no surprises it left me thinking about the basic concept of the joke. This sketch only really works if you think a man being attracted to another man is funny. Mango is certainly an exaggeration but it still comes off as a little homophobic.
Oprah
Did you miss the Brendan Fraser episode? How about the Samuel L. Jackson episode? You did? Good, then you may like Mango. If you saw either of those episodes then you've already seen this sketch. This is an exact replica of the last two times we've seen Mango just with a different actor. Garth sees Mango in a male strip club and gets hypnotized. He's giving a concert and dreams of Mango, he's reading a bedtime story to his daughter and his thoughts drift to Mango, he runs into Mango's dressing room where Mango tells him to get lost but still secretly seems to pine for him. The good thing here was Brooks who got some laughs from me with his performance. His look of love towards Mango while he's reading to his daughter was funny and genuine. The bad parts were that we've seen this exact sketch before and since there were no surprises it left me thinking about the basic concept of the joke. This sketch only really works if you think a man being attracted to another man is funny. Mango is certainly an exaggeration but it still comes off as a little homophobic.
Oprah
3 Stars
Oprah interviews Monica Lewinsky and eats a lot of meat
Oprah Winfrey, played by Tim, brings out her first guest Monica Lewinsky but not before biting into a big cheeseburger. Her first question is whether or not Monica gave the president oral sex. Monica says that she did not give the president a hummer before plugging her new book, 'How To Give The President A Hummer'. Oprah is confused as there is a picture in the book of Monica performing oral sex on the president but Monica assures us that the photo was only taken for the book. Oprah pulls out a big shish kabob but when her snack side of beef comes out it's time to end the show. Some funny stuff here, probably could have worked better as a cold open for next week. Seeing how we already got Monica in the cold open this felt like more of the same.
Fun With Real Audio
Oprah Winfrey, played by Tim, brings out her first guest Monica Lewinsky but not before biting into a big cheeseburger. Her first question is whether or not Monica gave the president oral sex. Monica says that she did not give the president a hummer before plugging her new book, 'How To Give The President A Hummer'. Oprah is confused as there is a picture in the book of Monica performing oral sex on the president but Monica assures us that the photo was only taken for the book. Oprah pulls out a big shish kabob but when her snack side of beef comes out it's time to end the show. Some funny stuff here, probably could have worked better as a cold open for next week. Seeing how we already got Monica in the cold open this felt like more of the same.
Fun With Real Audio
4 Stars
David Brenner tells the same story on multiple talk shows
Comedian, David Brenner is telling a story to David Letterman on his talk show. Letterman looks around and sees the audience is bored so he pulls a lever which sends Brenner down a trap door on to Regis And Kathie Lee. Brenner continues his story without skipping a beat. Regis gets bored with the story and sends him down to Conan O'Brien who drops him down to Tom Snyder then to a cooking show on The Food Network and The Dog Channel where he tells his story to two dogs. The dogs bury him which sends him to hell where he tells his story to Satan. The devil pokes and prods him with a pitchfork before sending him down a trap door to The Sally Jesse Raphael Show. It was kinda mean spirited to pick on a fellow comedian but it seemed to be in good fun and was more of a comment on the abundance of talk shows than anything else.
Old French Whore!
Comedian, David Brenner is telling a story to David Letterman on his talk show. Letterman looks around and sees the audience is bored so he pulls a lever which sends Brenner down a trap door on to Regis And Kathie Lee. Brenner continues his story without skipping a beat. Regis gets bored with the story and sends him down to Conan O'Brien who drops him down to Tom Snyder then to a cooking show on The Food Network and The Dog Channel where he tells his story to two dogs. The dogs bury him which sends him to hell where he tells his story to Satan. The devil pokes and prods him with a pitchfork before sending him down a trap door to The Sally Jesse Raphael Show. It was kinda mean spirited to pick on a fellow comedian but it seemed to be in good fun and was more of a comment on the abundance of talk shows than anything else.
Old French Whore!
4 Stars
A game show where teens are partnered with old French whores
It's time for another episode of the game show where old French whores team up with High School honor students to win cash and prizes. Kattan is with Babette, a 48 year old prostitute, Tim is with Simone, a 59 year old Syphilitic and Ana is with Coco, a 67 year old whore who once served as the concubine to Rommel. The students try to answer the questions while the whores try to pick up tricks. I don't know why I enjoyed this one, on paper it seems like a horribly stupid sketch, but I liked it. The real hero of this was Will as the host who treats the whole thing seriously. The sketch ends with Brooks as Coco giving a soliloquy about her younger days and Will saying they are out of time. It should not have worked, maybe I was just in a good mood, but this was just the right amount of stupid to make me chuckle.
Weekend Update
It's time for another episode of the game show where old French whores team up with High School honor students to win cash and prizes. Kattan is with Babette, a 48 year old prostitute, Tim is with Simone, a 59 year old Syphilitic and Ana is with Coco, a 67 year old whore who once served as the concubine to Rommel. The students try to answer the questions while the whores try to pick up tricks. I don't know why I enjoyed this one, on paper it seems like a horribly stupid sketch, but I liked it. The real hero of this was Will as the host who treats the whole thing seriously. The sketch ends with Brooks as Coco giving a soliloquy about her younger days and Will saying they are out of time. It should not have worked, maybe I was just in a good mood, but this was just the right amount of stupid to make me chuckle.
Weekend Update
"Who would have thought a guy named Ol' Dirty Bastard would cause trouble?"
What I noticed about Colin Quinn this week was how he comments after every joke. I got the joke from the punchline but he has to give an analogy about the joke he just told. None of the jokes this week worked for me and I jotted down some of the hackier ones.
Pamela Anderson has filed a restraining order against Tommy Lee. Tommy isn't allowed within 5 feet of her, his penis isn't allowed within 50 feet.
Mayor Giuliani has instituted a strip club ban. Now if you want to see naked people dancing you have to ride the subway like everyone else.
After news that Henny Youngman, a comedian known for his one-liners, died, Colin says that he had been ill for some time. The doctors gave him 3 months to live but when they found out he couldn't pay his bill they gave him another 3 months.
I found it ironic that after a bunch of corny jokes he ends with a eulogy for a guy who told corny jokes with a corny joke.
Last week there were no desk pieces and it made Weekend Update feel unnecessary. Why take up airtime for some lame Colin Quinn jokes? This week we get Cinder Calhoun for her 3rd appearance this season and I feel differently. She's the comedian for the all female Lillith Fair and the joke is that she's not very funny. It almost insinuates that women aren't funny in a way. Like, the comedian at the Lillith Fair would obviously be an unfunny woman, right? It probably wasn't intended that way. What is good about this character is that it showcases Ana's vocal skills as she brings on Garth Brooks to duet a song she wrote called 'Adonis In Blue Jeans'. The song is all about how she wants to marry Garth Brooks, which makes him uncomfortable since he's already married. The song was actually catchy and got stuck in my head. I didn't laugh but I tapped my toes.
Who's More Grizzled?!
Who's More Grizzled?!
2 Stars
A game show where two grizzled old men try to out grizzle each other
I hate to not like this one as it's one of the last Norm MacDonald sketches we'll ever get and he more than likely wrote this, but this wasn't working for me. Brooks and special guest Robert Duvall play two old mountain men on a game show hosted by Norm. They try to prove which of them is the most grizzled by answering questions in categories such as war, hard times, bear attacks, ailments, dead wives and coal mining. It was good to see Norm again and he got a big applause when he came out and threw in a subtle joke about his predicament when Brooks said he didn't much care for him, Norm smiles and says, "A lot of people don't". Centering a comedy sketch around two guys who aren't trying to be funny got in the way of the jokes and it was also the second game show of the night.
Garth Brooks
I hate to not like this one as it's one of the last Norm MacDonald sketches we'll ever get and he more than likely wrote this, but this wasn't working for me. Brooks and special guest Robert Duvall play two old mountain men on a game show hosted by Norm. They try to prove which of them is the most grizzled by answering questions in categories such as war, hard times, bear attacks, ailments, dead wives and coal mining. It was good to see Norm again and he got a big applause when he came out and threw in a subtle joke about his predicament when Brooks said he didn't much care for him, Norm smiles and says, "A lot of people don't". Centering a comedy sketch around two guys who aren't trying to be funny got in the way of the jokes and it was also the second game show of the night.
Garth Brooks
"Two Pina Coladas"
Country music isn't my bag but this song is pretty catchy. Unfortunately it is one of those songs that has been ruined for me by karaoke. I have heard many a tone deaf, drunk, jerk in a cowboy hat butcher this song while trying to get the whole bar to sing along.
Hey, Remember The 80's
Country music isn't my bag but this song is pretty catchy. Unfortunately it is one of those songs that has been ruined for me by karaoke. I have heard many a tone deaf, drunk, jerk in a cowboy hat butcher this song while trying to get the whole bar to sing along.
Hey, Remember The 80's
2 Stars
Goat Boy hosts a show about 80's music
What the hell came first? Did Jim Breuer come up with this Goat Boy character and then figured the best (and most unoriginal) way to get him on SNL was to have him host a talk show? Or was there an idea for a show about 80's music nostalgia and Jim said, "You know who should host that show? A goat/man hybrid". Whatever the answer, this sketch is stupid and not in a fun way. Kattan comes out as Brian Setzer, lead singer of The Stray Cats, Brooks comes out as the lead singer of Dexy's Midnight Runner and Cheri and Darrell come out as Cyndi Lauper and Captain Lou Albano. They reminisce about Pop Rocks and President Reagan before Cyndi sings 'True Colors' and feeds Goat Boy some hay. Then Will comes out with 'Soy Bomb' written on his chest, which is a very dated and obscure reference today. During a performance by Bob Dylan on the Grammys, a guy came out on stage and did a weird dance with the words 'Soy Bomb' written on his chest. Now this sketch about 80's nostalgia has become a bit of 90's nostalgia for me.
Loews
What the hell came first? Did Jim Breuer come up with this Goat Boy character and then figured the best (and most unoriginal) way to get him on SNL was to have him host a talk show? Or was there an idea for a show about 80's music nostalgia and Jim said, "You know who should host that show? A goat/man hybrid". Whatever the answer, this sketch is stupid and not in a fun way. Kattan comes out as Brian Setzer, lead singer of The Stray Cats, Brooks comes out as the lead singer of Dexy's Midnight Runner and Cheri and Darrell come out as Cyndi Lauper and Captain Lou Albano. They reminisce about Pop Rocks and President Reagan before Cyndi sings 'True Colors' and feeds Goat Boy some hay. Then Will comes out with 'Soy Bomb' written on his chest, which is a very dated and obscure reference today. During a performance by Bob Dylan on the Grammys, a guy came out on stage and did a weird dance with the words 'Soy Bomb' written on his chest. Now this sketch about 80's nostalgia has become a bit of 90's nostalgia for me.
Loews
5 Stars
Patrons at a movie theater endure seemingly endless trailers
Garth and Molly are settling down to watch Sphere but before the movie they have to watch the trailers. They see one for Clint Eastwood as 'The Fire King' and Shelley Long in 'My Mom, The Mime' before getting an announcement that there will be 20 more minutes of previews. Some time later they are watching John Ratzenberger in 'Not A Cop' and Shelley Long in 'Panama' as a women with terminal cancer who starts a rock band. Then they find that the doors are locked from the outside. Hours later they are forced to watch the previews to a movie starring Shelley Long as a woman in love with a puppet and an award winning film from Pakistan starring Shelley Long. Days later, Molly is surviving by drinking melted ice, people are literally ripping Will limb from limb to get a box of Junior Mints and we discover that Tracy has eaten the bottom half of his body. Finally it's time for the feature presentation and everyone sits down to enjoy the movie. A semi weak ending but I enjoyed the journey so much.
Lay Lady Lay
Garth and Molly are settling down to watch Sphere but before the movie they have to watch the trailers. They see one for Clint Eastwood as 'The Fire King' and Shelley Long in 'My Mom, The Mime' before getting an announcement that there will be 20 more minutes of previews. Some time later they are watching John Ratzenberger in 'Not A Cop' and Shelley Long in 'Panama' as a women with terminal cancer who starts a rock band. Then they find that the doors are locked from the outside. Hours later they are forced to watch the previews to a movie starring Shelley Long as a woman in love with a puppet and an award winning film from Pakistan starring Shelley Long. Days later, Molly is surviving by drinking melted ice, people are literally ripping Will limb from limb to get a box of Junior Mints and we discover that Tracy has eaten the bottom half of his body. Finally it's time for the feature presentation and everyone sits down to enjoy the movie. A semi weak ending but I enjoyed the journey so much.
Lay Lady Lay
2 Stars
A hospital worker comforts a patient through song
Robert Duvall is in a hospital bed, he's nervous about his surgery tomorrow. As he starts to fall asleep he is approached by Will who sings 'Lay Lady Lay' by Bob Dylan to him. Duvall wakes up confused and Will explains that he is part of a program the hospital offers where he sings 'Lay Lady Lay' to patients to calm their nerves. Duvall is not interested but Will insists that he will sing to him while he lightly brushes his cheek and shaves and bathes him. They argue for a while eventually resulting in Will leaving. Duvall has a change of heart and asks him to come back and they duet together. The initial absurdity never heightened and the punchline was really weak.
"I'm gonna bathe you now."
"That's fine with me, but this is a weird hospital."
FINAL ANALYSIS
Robert Duvall is in a hospital bed, he's nervous about his surgery tomorrow. As he starts to fall asleep he is approached by Will who sings 'Lay Lady Lay' by Bob Dylan to him. Duvall wakes up confused and Will explains that he is part of a program the hospital offers where he sings 'Lay Lady Lay' to patients to calm their nerves. Duvall is not interested but Will insists that he will sing to him while he lightly brushes his cheek and shaves and bathes him. They argue for a while eventually resulting in Will leaving. Duvall has a change of heart and asks him to come back and they duet together. The initial absurdity never heightened and the punchline was really weak.
"I'm gonna bathe you now."
"That's fine with me, but this is a weird hospital."
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Shelley Long has died for your sins!"
Average
3.2 Stars
MVP
Will Ferrell
Phone Chat, Cowboys, Mango, Old French Whore, Hey, Remember The 80's, Loews, Lay Lady Lay
Phone Chat, Cowboys, Mango, Old French Whore, Hey, Remember The 80's, Loews, Lay Lady Lay
Best Sketch
Loews
Worst Sketch
Hey, Remember The 80's
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
Thank you, thank you, thank you for only having one Garth Brooks musical performance. I would swap Mango with Who's More Grizzled?! for two reasons, one, I've seen Mango before so it doesn't need to be so early in the night and 2, it would give Robert Duvall a spot on the show before Update. That doesn't solve the problem that this episode has 2 game show parodies but at least they wouldn't be back to back. I would also cut Hey, Remember The 80's.
Host Analysis
Garth Brooks was a big surprise for me. I didn't know he could be funny. He shouldn't quit his day job but he seemed to be having a real good time and his energy was a bit infectious. I was a little nervous during the monologue, he was a little giggly, but after that he was solid in every sketch and I didn't notice him relying on the cue cards too hard. It seemed to me that this guy wanted to prove himself and he did.
Final Thoughts
A pretty solid episode from top to bottom. A few lesser sketches but nothing that ruined anything or slowed down the flow. I thought for certain I would come away from this episode thinking Robert Duvall should have hosted with Brooks as the musical guest but I have the exact opposite opinion. Brooks should have been in the last sketch and Duvall should have sang a song from Tender Mercies. Brooks ended up hosting two seasons later with his altar ego, Chris Gaines, as the musical guest. This episode inspired me to put season 25 on my to-do list.
Up Next
Party Of Five star Scott Wolf hosts with musical guest Natalie Imbruglia. I know nothing about Scott Wolf or Party Of Five but I'm hoping for another pleasant surprise.
You can tell from the goodnights that Jim Breur does not look happy,not surprised this is his last season.
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