"Don't go fussing about Mr. Apples. He's a cantankerous old cuss"
Cold Open: ABC News Special Report
2 Stars
Monica Lewinsky addresses congress
Aside from U.S. presidents, only 3 people have addressed congress. Winston Churchill, General Douglas MacArthur and now Monica Lewinsky. She gets a standing ovation (which is done by using footage from the state of the union address) as she approaches the podium. She admits that she had a sexual relationship with the president and was asked to lie under oath about it but her attitude is "So what? Who cares?". During her rambling speech, which touches on subjects like ex-boyfriends and her perky breasts, the camera keeps cutting to people in the crowd like Madeline Albright, Dick Gephardt and, the funniest one, Hilary Clinton. Ted Koppel interrupts and interviews a panel of experts and asks them what they thought of the speech. They all say that this is hurting the president, America is filled with idiots and they hate this country. The real footage spliced together to make it look like a real speech was funny but I was not a huge fan of how they presented Monica as a ditsy, young and naive girl. When going for a comedic take it works better than presenting the president as a sexual predator but it still kind of left a bad taste in my mouth.
Roma Downey Monologue
Aside from U.S. presidents, only 3 people have addressed congress. Winston Churchill, General Douglas MacArthur and now Monica Lewinsky. She gets a standing ovation (which is done by using footage from the state of the union address) as she approaches the podium. She admits that she had a sexual relationship with the president and was asked to lie under oath about it but her attitude is "So what? Who cares?". During her rambling speech, which touches on subjects like ex-boyfriends and her perky breasts, the camera keeps cutting to people in the crowd like Madeline Albright, Dick Gephardt and, the funniest one, Hilary Clinton. Ted Koppel interrupts and interviews a panel of experts and asks them what they thought of the speech. They all say that this is hurting the president, America is filled with idiots and they hate this country. The real footage spliced together to make it look like a real speech was funny but I was not a huge fan of how they presented Monica as a ditsy, young and naive girl. When going for a comedic take it works better than presenting the president as a sexual predator but it still kind of left a bad taste in my mouth.
Roma Downey Monologue
4 Stars
Aided by Della Reese, Roma guides the cast with the help of the lord
Roma mentions that her show is filmed in Utah which is much different from New York City. She misses the cast of her show, Touched By An Angel, especially Della Reese. On cue, Tracy Morgan comes out in a dress and a gray wig and tells her that they have a lot of work to do. A woman in the audience is crying because when she approached Darrell for an autograph, he punched her. Darrell comes out to give her some more abuse but Heaven's light shines down and he sees the error of his ways. They go backstage where Molly is drinking, smoking and telling everyone to kiss her ass.
"Molly, you're drunk."
"No, this is my first drink. I'm just a little screwed up on drugs."
They guide her to the path of righteousness with the help of Heaven's light but Molly sees it as an angel and then believes she can fly. She's apparently still really messed up on those drugs. They stop Will from shooting a porno, mention that they saw Tim dealing drugs and try to stop Lorne from selling guns to gangs who sell him heroin that he trades for Asian child brides which he then sells for chemical weapons that he delivers to Iraq. He looks deep within himself to feel the light of God but gives a "thanks but no thanks". The monologue is the only place where I like this style of self referential humor and rather than doing a Touched By An Angel sketch I'm glad they did something like this. I also always love when they tour the backstage and we get to see the cast playing alternate versions of themselves so this whole thing worked for me.
Rerun of Chess For Girls
Roma mentions that her show is filmed in Utah which is much different from New York City. She misses the cast of her show, Touched By An Angel, especially Della Reese. On cue, Tracy Morgan comes out in a dress and a gray wig and tells her that they have a lot of work to do. A woman in the audience is crying because when she approached Darrell for an autograph, he punched her. Darrell comes out to give her some more abuse but Heaven's light shines down and he sees the error of his ways. They go backstage where Molly is drinking, smoking and telling everyone to kiss her ass.
"Molly, you're drunk."
"No, this is my first drink. I'm just a little screwed up on drugs."
They guide her to the path of righteousness with the help of Heaven's light but Molly sees it as an angel and then believes she can fly. She's apparently still really messed up on those drugs. They stop Will from shooting a porno, mention that they saw Tim dealing drugs and try to stop Lorne from selling guns to gangs who sell him heroin that he trades for Asian child brides which he then sells for chemical weapons that he delivers to Iraq. He looks deep within himself to feel the light of God but gives a "thanks but no thanks". The monologue is the only place where I like this style of self referential humor and rather than doing a Touched By An Angel sketch I'm glad they did something like this. I also always love when they tour the backstage and we get to see the cast playing alternate versions of themselves so this whole thing worked for me.
Rerun of Chess For Girls
Wedding Vows
3 Stars
Marty and Bobbi Culp renew their marriage vows with a medley of songs
Roma delivers some church announcements but this is pointless filler so the host can have something to do before she introduces the Culps. They talk about their love for one another, including the fact that Marty is a pretty creative lover, before going into a medley of songs that express their love. You Sexy Thing, Touch Me In The Morning, Let's Get It On, Afternoon Delight and for some reason Tubthumping are all sang in the same over the top, operatic way we are used to. What sets this apart from others is when they stop the song and start French kissing. Their tongues wagging in each other's mouths. It was probably my favorite outing from the Culps, but it's still the same old sketch I've seen a hundred times.
Catherine The Great
2 Stars
Catherine II of Russia answers questions about her sex scandal
Catherine The Great is giving a press conference. The reporters are told that she will be only answering questions about peasant and serf education but they are only concerned with her sexual exploits. They ask if she is having an improper sexual relationship with a horse, a stallion named Sugar Boy who has reportedly visited the palace 35 times. Catherine denies the allegations but does admit to giving the horse gifts, like a bag of apples and a book of poetry but this is all part of an elaborate Prussian conspiracy to tarnish her image. Obviously a comment on the Clinton sex scandal and, I did not know this until researching, an urban legend that Catherine died while trying to mate with a horse. An interesting premise quickly turns into juvenile jokes. Downey is missing some comic timing here and the ending is very weak, a newspaper headline that says "Ponygate" flashes in front of the camera.
Martha Stewart Living Valentine Special
Catherine The Great is giving a press conference. The reporters are told that she will be only answering questions about peasant and serf education but they are only concerned with her sexual exploits. They ask if she is having an improper sexual relationship with a horse, a stallion named Sugar Boy who has reportedly visited the palace 35 times. Catherine denies the allegations but does admit to giving the horse gifts, like a bag of apples and a book of poetry but this is all part of an elaborate Prussian conspiracy to tarnish her image. Obviously a comment on the Clinton sex scandal and, I did not know this until researching, an urban legend that Catherine died while trying to mate with a horse. An interesting premise quickly turns into juvenile jokes. Downey is missing some comic timing here and the ending is very weak, a newspaper headline that says "Ponygate" flashes in front of the camera.
Martha Stewart Living Valentine Special
4 Stars
Martha offers some creative ways to spend Valentine's Day alone
Belgian chocolates, red roses, champagne and candy hearts are usually what we think of when we think of Valentine's Day but the real essence of the holiday is loneliness and shame. Martha shows us some innovative ways to enjoy the deafening silence. You can treat yourself to an erotic cake, rub massage oil into your calves or create a decorative box in which to poop in and leave it on your ex-husband's front porch. Filming this one ahead of time added a lot. The editing, music and soft focus gave it something that was missing from previous live iterations.
Eye On The Olympics
Belgian chocolates, red roses, champagne and candy hearts are usually what we think of when we think of Valentine's Day but the real essence of the holiday is loneliness and shame. Martha shows us some innovative ways to enjoy the deafening silence. You can treat yourself to an erotic cake, rub massage oil into your calves or create a decorative box in which to poop in and leave it on your ex-husband's front porch. Filming this one ahead of time added a lot. The editing, music and soft focus gave it something that was missing from previous live iterations.
Eye On The Olympics
1 Star
A gold medalist stripped of his medal due to drug use is interviewed
I'm assuming this was based on a true story. Jim is playing an Olympic skier who had his gold medal taken away after testing positive for marijuana. He is being interviewed by Will and...he's high. He wants to listen to Smash Mouth and eat Doritos and doesn't know where he is and can't keep his focus. Tracy comes in later as one of the Jamaican bobsled members. It's stoner humor which I am not a fan of. For some reason, watching someone pretend to be high never makes me laugh.
Riding My Donkey Political Talk Show
I'm assuming this was based on a true story. Jim is playing an Olympic skier who had his gold medal taken away after testing positive for marijuana. He is being interviewed by Will and...he's high. He wants to listen to Smash Mouth and eat Doritos and doesn't know where he is and can't keep his focus. Tracy comes in later as one of the Jamaican bobsled members. It's stoner humor which I am not a fan of. For some reason, watching someone pretend to be high never makes me laugh.
Riding My Donkey Political Talk Show
5 Stars
It's a political talk show atop donkeys
Now this is stoner humor. I don't know if this was an idea conceived while under the influence but it certainly seemed like it. Will opens this with a song about riding his donkey and not caring what you say about it before introducing his guests who are also riding donkeys. This is the nation's number 1 political round table and donkey riding show. CNN correspondent, Mary Tillotson is riding Old General, ABC's Sam Donaldson is riding Diablo and CNN's Bernard Shaw is atop Mr. Apples. Almost immediately Tim falls off his donkey and the technical snafus keep coming from there. This was a sketch designed to fall apart and watching the train wreck was incredible. All of them are talking about whether the media has gone too far and if there will ever come a day where people will no longer be interested in straight news from people riding donkeys. An old prospector looking for gold runs by, Indians start attacking, Will shoots a stagecoach robber, Darrell is shot with an arrow that doesn't come at the appropriate time. It was a beautiful failure and what a live comedy show is all about. Will ends it by saying they've come off looking pretty darn smart.
Phone Call
Now this is stoner humor. I don't know if this was an idea conceived while under the influence but it certainly seemed like it. Will opens this with a song about riding his donkey and not caring what you say about it before introducing his guests who are also riding donkeys. This is the nation's number 1 political round table and donkey riding show. CNN correspondent, Mary Tillotson is riding Old General, ABC's Sam Donaldson is riding Diablo and CNN's Bernard Shaw is atop Mr. Apples. Almost immediately Tim falls off his donkey and the technical snafus keep coming from there. This was a sketch designed to fall apart and watching the train wreck was incredible. All of them are talking about whether the media has gone too far and if there will ever come a day where people will no longer be interested in straight news from people riding donkeys. An old prospector looking for gold runs by, Indians start attacking, Will shoots a stagecoach robber, Darrell is shot with an arrow that doesn't come at the appropriate time. It was a beautiful failure and what a live comedy show is all about. Will ends it by saying they've come off looking pretty darn smart.
Phone Call
It's June 19, 1996 and Monica's phone rings. The machine picks it up. It's Bill, from the White House asking her if she'd like to go see Blues Traveler. A voice in the distance asks who he's calling and he insists it's Benjamin Netanyahu. This is gonna be a runner for the episode and they are so quick and pointless that I'm not rating them.
Weekend Update
"We're Germans. When we start religiously persecuting you, you'll know."
I'm trying to take it easy on Colin but this week's Weekend Update barely had a reason for being. There were no desk pieces to break up the monotony so I just watched a man tell some lame jokes, clumsily. They weren't really jokes in actuality. He starts off with a chunk on the war in Iraq, comparing the U.S. to the policemen on cops and Saddam Hussein as the drunk, shirtless guy getting arrested. After the bit dies he sort of meekly turns to the next story. He ends with a bit on Madonna, asking her to marry him but laying down ground rules. He wants to split all their money down the middle, no more flirting with basketball players and he likes celery in his tuna salad. He ends with "I'm Colin Quinn. That's the story I'm going with and I'm sticking with it". How about sticking with a sign off?
Missy "Misdemeanor" Elliott
"Sock It 2 Me" "Beep Me 911"
Missy and her backup dancers keep it interesting with some rhythmic popping and locking. The song seems to just be about sex and then it stops abruptly and switches to another song about sex. If it weren't for the break I would have thought they were the exact same song. Not my cup of tea.
Cousin Fran
Cousin Fran
1 Star
An annoying woman shows up at her cousin's wedding
Cheri plays Fran, the cousin of Roma who is getting married. She is going to be doing a reading during the wedding ceremony and is upset that she wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid. She complains about her life, treats everyone badly and lies about instances in her life that never happened. This Fran is a real annoying bitch, but not in a funny way. I kept wanting this character to get some comeuppance or told that she was a horrible person but I think the intention was to find her lovable.
Phone Call
Cheri plays Fran, the cousin of Roma who is getting married. She is going to be doing a reading during the wedding ceremony and is upset that she wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid. She complains about her life, treats everyone badly and lies about instances in her life that never happened. This Fran is a real annoying bitch, but not in a funny way. I kept wanting this character to get some comeuppance or told that she was a horrible person but I think the intention was to find her lovable.
Phone Call
Bill is calling Monica from a T.G.I. Friday's where they were supposed to have a date. Monica is running an hour late but Bill says he'll continue to wait. He ordered some potato skins.
The Ladies' Man
3 Stars
Leon answers questions about romance
Leon's first caller is trying to think of a nice gift to get his wife. Leon suggests making her some champagne out of wine and soda water or creating a Valentine's Day card by taping pornographic pictures on a pizza box. A female caller is lonely and wants to know where to meet men. Leon suggests hanging around the men's room at her local strip club. The final caller asks for a love poem to which Leon suggests, "You're an angel, my love, of this I am certain so this Valentine's Day let's do some bumpin' and squirtin'". I like this character and think he's funny but I'm growing tired of the same old routine.
Ah Lin The Skater Man
3 Stars
A Chinese Olympic skater takes performance enhancing drugs
Done in an anime style, Ah Lin is not doing well in his speed skating until he takes steroids, given to him by Ben Johnson. The cartoon is also filled with Ah Lin blindly following his country's propaganda. He turns into Popeye when he takes the drugs and cuts a man into sausages with his skates. Much like the George Clooney cartoon from a couple episodes ago, I liked the style more than the humor in this one.
Valentine's Day Dance
Done in an anime style, Ah Lin is not doing well in his speed skating until he takes steroids, given to him by Ben Johnson. The cartoon is also filled with Ah Lin blindly following his country's propaganda. He turns into Popeye when he takes the drugs and cuts a man into sausages with his skates. Much like the George Clooney cartoon from a couple episodes ago, I liked the style more than the humor in this one.
Valentine's Day Dance
2 Stars
A homely girl gets romantic advice at a dance
Sylvester Stallone's 3 daughters from the season premiere are at a Valentine's Day dance but not having luck with men. I will always encourage the show to get their recurring characters off of couches and into actual sketches but I could have done without a repeat visit from these ladies. This one does itself a service by focusing on Cheri's character, who was the funniest part of the first outing. Roma plays their cousin who tries to give her some pointers like don't talk about your rashes and back sweat. She eventually does find a man in Chris who makes out with her out of desperation. When Uncle Sal comes to pick her up she introduces him as her fiancee and he runs away in terror.
Phone Call
Sylvester Stallone's 3 daughters from the season premiere are at a Valentine's Day dance but not having luck with men. I will always encourage the show to get their recurring characters off of couches and into actual sketches but I could have done without a repeat visit from these ladies. This one does itself a service by focusing on Cheri's character, who was the funniest part of the first outing. Roma plays their cousin who tries to give her some pointers like don't talk about your rashes and back sweat. She eventually does find a man in Chris who makes out with her out of desperation. When Uncle Sal comes to pick her up she introduces him as her fiancee and he runs away in terror.
Phone Call
Bill is worried that Monica's answering machine is full and hopes she's not getting calls from the trainer at her gym or he'll key his car. He picked up the Counting Crows CD she told him about and thought it was rad. After saying he misses her bod he suddenly has a realization.
"You are erasing these, aren't you?"
During the Goodnights, Norm jumps on stage out of nowhere, gives Roma a kiss and leaves. The look on her face leads me to believe that this was unplanned. I couldn't find any information on this anywhere and would really be interested in what the back story on this was.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"As soon as this show is over I intend on getting it on with someone or something and it will most definitely involve the butt"
Average
2.7 Stars
MVP
Will Ferrell
Monologue, Wedding Vows, Catherine The Great, Eye On The Olympics, Riding My Donkey Political Talk Show, The Ladies' Man, Valentine's Day Dance
Monologue, Wedding Vows, Catherine The Great, Eye On The Olympics, Riding My Donkey Political Talk Show, The Ladies' Man, Valentine's Day Dance
Best Sketch
Riding My Donkey Political Talk Show
Worst Sketch
Cousin Fran
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
I don't know. This was a bummer to watch. Only one sketch really worked (Riding My Donkey) and the other stuff that was passable was all recurring bits (Culps, Ladies Man, Martha Stewart). I guess everything was fine as far as placement but I would maybe swap Cousin Fran and Valentine's Day Dance. Weekend Update and Cousin Fran were a one-two punch that made me want to stop watching and everything after suffered because of their poor quality.
Host Analysis
Roma Downey was definitely not the funniest of hosts but she didn't do anything to hurt the quality of this episode. In fact, she was barely in it. Aside from the monologue she only headlined one sketch (Catherine The Great) and only appeared in 4 altogether. She introduced Marty and Bobbi Culp, played the straight person in Cousin Fran and adjusted her boobs a lot in Valentine's Day Dance.
Final Thoughts
The show average is a little skewed and would have gone down if I included Weekend Update and the Phone Call runner. Throw in a musical guest that I didn't like that much and this was kind of a stinker. One really funny sketch will probably make my list of best sketches but everything else kind of sucked.
Up Next
Garth Brooks hosts and acts as the musical guest with Robert Duvall along as a special guest. This reminds me of the Willie Nelson episode where Danny DeVito was there to appear in some sketches. Why not just have Duvall host with Brooks as the musical guest? All I know about this episode is Norm will be in at least one sketch.
The end is nigh for Norm does season 24 suffer cause of his depature?
ReplyDeleteThe riding my donkey sketch is one of my favorites from this season.Supreme bizarreness in all the right ways. Though some of them in Buscemi's episode are definitely that too.
ReplyDelete