Saturday Night Live Season 12 Reviews - Episode 10 - Paul Shaffer / Bruce Hornsby & The Range

"It's not the hippest atmosphere I've ever worked in"

Cold Open: Hip

4 Stars

Paul explains the difference between Late Night and Saturday Night

Paul is backstage taking a call from David Letterman when Dana, Nora and Jon come in dressed as babies.  They just found out that Paul has taken himself out of the sandbox sketch.  They know why too, it's because it was square and Paul is the hippest man in show business.  They all seem distraught because their show is lame while Paul spends his week on Late Night with David Letterman, the hippest show on TV.  Paul explains that the two shows have different audiences and even pulls out a chart to demonstrate.  Late Night viewers are not only younger and more educated but more likely to open a restaurant while SNL viewers are more likely to have an operation.  They ask him what the next hip phrase is gonna be but that has never changed, it's always been "Live from New York...".  I always like when we see the host backstage in the cold open.  I can't explain why but those are always my favorites.

Paul Shaffer Monologue

4 Stars

Shaffer sings a song to open the show

Paul reminds us that he was the original piano player for the SNL band and he spent 5 years putting together musical numbers for other people and now it's finally time to open the show the way he always wanted to.  The lights go down to where only Paul is visible as he starts to play 'Dirty Water' with altered lyrics to make it about SNL.  When the lights come back up he is surrounded by go go dancers in cages.  They come out and dance with him and carry out G.E. Smith for his guitar solo.  This was really fun and pretty impressive.  I thought the reveal of the go go dancers was really cool.

What's My Addiction?

1 Star

Live from the Betty Ford Center, it's America's favorite game show

Okay, before I recap this sketch I should probably say that my name is George and I'm an alcoholic.  I also have a sense of humor about just about everything and think nothing is off limits but let me get to why I didn't like this at all.  So Betty Ford hosts this game show where a panel of famous recovering addicts, Johnny Cash, Liza Minnelli and David Crosby, try to guess what a contestant is addicted to.  The first one out is Victoria Jackson and they all take turns asking her questions like if she has trouble sleeping or if she's ever contemplated suicide.  With every wrong guess the contestant earns $5.  They can't figure it out and it turns out that Victoria is an alcoholic.  The next contestant is Kevin Nealon who has been addicted for a few short months but lost his house, two cars and a sailboat.  They immediately guess cocaine and Nealon is sent away with a copy of the home version.  The last round is the celebrity mystery addict and Paul Shaffer comes out as Boy George and they have to try to guess his identity after they are told he is a musician addicted to heroin.  All of this fine if not particularly funny.  My real problem comes at the end when Betty tells the audience to seek help if they have an addiction and then leads everyone in the serenity prayer.  So after making fun of addiction they pedal back and get all serious.  If you're gonna be in bad taste you might as well stay there and you better be funny.  One of the hardest things I ever did was tell a group of strangers I have a problem.  As I'm watching this sketch I'm thinking, okay, I'm not laughing but I get what they are trying to do but when they ended with the serenity prayer I didn't know what to think.  It's like when a comedian tells a bunch of racist jokes and then calls for peace.

Synthesizer

3 Stars

Paul emphasizes everything he does with his keytar

Jan comes to Paul's apartment but he wasn't expecting her until tomorrow.  He tells her to go in the kitchen and quickly calls Victoria to cancel their date but she's not in.  Everything Paul says and does he punctuates with a musical sting like when Jan walks into the kitchen he gives her exit music and when she asks why he has two glasses of wine sitting on the counter he plays a dramatic sting.  Victoria comes to the door for their date and he plays the West Side Story rumble music.  They both leave in a huff and Paul is left alone with his keytar where he starts to play 'Saturday Night Is The Loneliest Night Of The Week' then he gets up and sings to the audience and tries to get them to clap along.  Then Jan and Victoria come back and sing with him.  A really fun premise kind of fizzled out and got weird when it just turned into a musical number for Paul.  This sketch had the potential to get wonderfully absurd.

The Grenada Experience

3 Stars

A Time Life series documents the United States invasion of Grenada

A. Whitney Brown is asked by his son, what's Grenada and did we win the war there?  Brown is dumbfounded as he doesn't know how to explain this to his child.  What is Grenada?  How did we find it?  What did the marines do the rest of that week?  Luckily there is a 48 volume Time Life series to document each hour of the military conflict.  A short and sweet commercial parody that loses all of its relevance 30 years later.

Bruce Hornsby & The Range

"The Way It Is"

Before introducing Bruce Hornsby & The Range, Paul plugs the 5th anniversary of Late Night special that will be airing next week.  I first heard of this song from the Tupac Shakur song that samples it and then later from Chevy Chase plagiarizing it on an episode of Community.  I always liked it.  It's catchy, melodic and easy to listen to.  It also sounds deep even though it probably isn't.  For some reason the band has a circus tent behind them.

The Pat Stevens Show

2 Stars

Pat interviews Paul and Charlton Heston

Pat is again seen reading a 'good book', it is again an issue of Vogue, she again reads a viewer letter this one asking about fur, she says that fur is murder...to clean.  Her first guest is Paul Shaffer and she only focuses on the fact that he's balding.  Her next guest is Charlton Heston and she only focuses on his hairpiece.  Charlton eventually admits that he is bald.  I was not into this at all.

Weekend Update

Fact: Most of the people obsessed with America's Cup are trendy jerks who never heard about it a year ago

Miller gets Van Morrison's 'Jackie Wilson Said' as his intro this week.  C. Everett Koop has said that masturbation and abstinence are the best defenses against AIDS.  He also says that he himself has nothing to worry about.  Ed Meese says that he doesn't think Playboy and Penthouse are obscene.  Good, he's read the articles in Playboy now he just needs to read the articles of the Constitution.

Kevin Nealon is here to talk about post season depression now that the Super Bowl is over.  There are other sports to follow.  Like cross country skiing, he tried it but a tip for beginners, start with a small country, like Chile and ski the width not the length.  There's also the biathlon which should be introduced in the summer Olympics where you swim a lap and then grill a steak.  Baseball could be exciting if the changed the rules a bit.  In order to make an out you should have to hit the runner in the head with the ball and if the ball goes into the stands it should still be in play.  I've been really enjoying these stream of conscience monologues from Nealon this season.

Chinese New Year

1 Star

The Sweeney Sisters sing at a Chinese restaurant but not before Ching Change plays with a chicken

Oh, good Lord, Paul Shaffer plays Wo Son Ting welcoming Chinese New Year at a restaurant.  Since this is the year of the rabbit they are raffling off rabbits.  The winner is Ching Change who doesn't want the rabbit because it not play well with his chicken.  He explains that chicken make a lousy housepet.  To demonstrate he tries to make a chicken do a trick.  When the chicken fails to bark or fetch he again says that chicken make lousy housepet.  Then Wo Son Ting introduces the Sweeney Sisters who sing a medley of Chinese themed songs like Slow Boat to China and Kung Fu Fighting.  Once again, I love Jan Hooks and her and Dunn seem to have so much fun doing these and their energy is contagious.  I would have rated this higher if it weren't for the comical racism at the beginning.

Ticket Line

2 Stars

A Woody Allen obsessed fan waits to see Radio Days

David, one of my least favorite characters from last season, is in line with his girlfriend to see Radio Days.  He's nervous because Woody isn't in this film he just narrates it.  He also talks to the camera in little Annie Hall-esque asides and tells us that his girlfriend doesn't understand Woody.  Dana comes in as another Woodyphile who has seen every Allen film on opening night but couldn't get a ticket to this one as it was sold out.  David asks his date to give up her ticket and then they talk about her intelligence right in front of her.  She gets upset and leaves and the usher calls for all pathetic ticket holders to enter the theater.  I liked this better than the one last season but this character just doesn't work for me.

Bruce Hornsby & The Range return with "Mandolin Rain" which is another pleasant song.  I still don't know what's up with that circus tent.

Asociacion Mexicana Del Rinon

2 Stars

A commercial parody for something.  I don't know it's all in Spanish.

Hartman is a Mexican commercial pitchman.  We cut to Paul and Victoria having dinner.  Hartman talks to the camera.  We get a phone number for 1-800-9KIDNEY and then we cut back to Paul and Victoria, Paul has his side bandaged and they laugh.  Did I mention that this was entirely in Spanish?  I don't speak Spanish so I have no idea what is going on.  I'm guessing it's for black market organs, but I was just very confused throughout this.

SNL Memories

2 Stars

Paul sings about the history of the show

Paul sings "It Was A Very Good Year" with altered lyrics that reflect the show.
"In 1975, it was the very first year..."
"In 1978, it was a wild and crazy year, the year of the Stones, of movie stars for hosts, of brothers Czech and Blues, when Billy did the news, Belushi's chauffeur would drive, when that cat was still alive."
"Then 1980 came that was Doumanian's year.  Get's kind of foggy after that then Eddie Murphy busted through, Piscopo sneaked in there too.  Then Ebersol cleaned house, those were some 10 year heady days."
"And now the days seem short, but baby this damn show's still here.  We gotta gang of fresh talented kids, I don't know their names but that liar guy's a hoot and one of those chicks is kinda cute."
The SNL history nerd in me ate this up but I wish it was funnier and tighter.  The song itself was slow and the rhyme scheme was barely present.  Paul later says in the goodnights that he actually thinks all the chicks on the show are pretty cute, which is almost grosser than just saying one of them is.  I wonder which chick he was referring to in the song.
If I could, let me write a verse.
In 1985, Lorne retooled the show
But Billy Martin set a fire and said, you all have to go
There was little defiance
because you cast the kids from Weird Science
and burned them alive
You should have kept the black guy
"This show sucks", the critics scream
but Madonna said it was a dream

FINAL ANALYSIS

"Shut up you obsequious organ grinder"

Average

2.4 Stars

MVP

Jan Hooks
What's My Addiction?, Synthesizer, Chinese New Year

Best Sketch

Synthesizer

Worst Sketch

Chinese New Year

How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It

Hmmm.  I honestly can't muster up the interest to complete this thought.  I didn't like much of anything this week so instead of trying to fix it I'm just gonna stand from afar and watch the ship sink.

Host Analysis

I guess I shouldn't have expected anything from him and he delivered on those lack of expectations.  He played himself for most of the sketches which was fine.  But then when he didn't play himself he played Boy George and a Chinese guy.  Not the greatest outing by a large stretch.

Final Thoughts

Sung to the tune of "It Was A Very Good Year": In 1986, Paul Shaffer hosted SNL, just as the cast was starting to gel.  He was a pretty lame host and the ep was mediocre at most.  Dana Carvey played Chinese, it stunk as bad as Limburger cheese.  There were some recurring bits including Pat Stevens and Sweeney.  Why'd they not hire Kevin Meaney?  That addiction sketch was a no go, when Paul Shaffer hosted the show.

Up Next

Cousin Balki himself, Bronson Pinchot hosts with musical guest Paul Young.  I was a huge Perfect Strangers fan when I was younger.  They showed reruns right as I got home from school so I always feared detention because I would miss an episode.  I have very little memory of the show now, I'm sure it holds up just as perfectly as I remember.  I've never seen this episode of SNL but remember reading somewhere that Pinchot was a terrible and unfunny host.