"There goes the award winning John Lithgow show!"
Cold Open: U.S. Embassy
4 Stars
Two U.S. soldiers sneak some Russian dames in the embassy for some late night nookie
I'm only assuming that this was based on an actual scandal that was happening at the time but even not knowing the context, this was fun. Dana and Kevin are two soldiers sneaking two Russian girls into the embassy. They offer them vodka and are excited to get some "fine Soviet fur", surprised that line got pass the censors. When the girls say they need to use the bathroom the soldiers give them their keys, describing which each one does.
"This is for the restroom, this is for the room with all the classified documents, this is for the Xerox room. Hey, is that a camera? Take our picture!"
We hear some sound effects of the girls making copies and sneaking around the embassy. They come back with two friends, Jon and Phil as scary looking Russian thugs, who brought a keg and need the key to the men's room. John Lithgow comes in as a commanding officer and yells at the men for having unauthorized visitors. He doesn't want to embarrass them in front of the girls so he tells them to usher them out the back door. Alone in the office, he notices a listening device on the desk and speaks into it, "Live from New York..."
This is 2 for 2 where Lithgow has gotten to yell the sign on.
John Lithgow Monologue
I'm only assuming that this was based on an actual scandal that was happening at the time but even not knowing the context, this was fun. Dana and Kevin are two soldiers sneaking two Russian girls into the embassy. They offer them vodka and are excited to get some "fine Soviet fur", surprised that line got pass the censors. When the girls say they need to use the bathroom the soldiers give them their keys, describing which each one does.
"This is for the restroom, this is for the room with all the classified documents, this is for the Xerox room. Hey, is that a camera? Take our picture!"
We hear some sound effects of the girls making copies and sneaking around the embassy. They come back with two friends, Jon and Phil as scary looking Russian thugs, who brought a keg and need the key to the men's room. John Lithgow comes in as a commanding officer and yells at the men for having unauthorized visitors. He doesn't want to embarrass them in front of the girls so he tells them to usher them out the back door. Alone in the office, he notices a listening device on the desk and speaks into it, "Live from New York..."
This is 2 for 2 where Lithgow has gotten to yell the sign on.
John Lithgow Monologue
4 Stars
John's hopes for a perfect show are quickly dashed
I love John Lithgow. He is one of my favorite actors. He always commits to every character he plays, knows when to go over the top, which is often, but also realizes when to pull back. Everything he is in is made better by his presence. He is excited tonight because this is the episode that will be submitted to the University of Maryland School of Communications for consideration for the Robert Benchley Award for Television Humor. Dress rehearsal went so well that Lorne came into John's dressing room after and said, "I think we got our Benchley!". John's aim is perfection tonight but he knows all the hard work they have put in this week is gonna pay off. Shortly after saying that he is hit in the head with a boom mic.
"Was the boom in the shot? Did the audience see the boom?"
He starts having an anxiety attack. The director tells him he's overreacting but it's too late as John admits defeat and throws to commercial.
Laramie Vice
I love John Lithgow. He is one of my favorite actors. He always commits to every character he plays, knows when to go over the top, which is often, but also realizes when to pull back. Everything he is in is made better by his presence. He is excited tonight because this is the episode that will be submitted to the University of Maryland School of Communications for consideration for the Robert Benchley Award for Television Humor. Dress rehearsal went so well that Lorne came into John's dressing room after and said, "I think we got our Benchley!". John's aim is perfection tonight but he knows all the hard work they have put in this week is gonna pay off. Shortly after saying that he is hit in the head with a boom mic.
"Was the boom in the shot? Did the audience see the boom?"
He starts having an anxiety attack. The director tells him he's overreacting but it's too late as John admits defeat and throws to commercial.
Laramie Vice
1 Star
A parody of Miami Vice, set in Laramie, Wyoming
A couple of cowboys are talking about a crime as they wait for Sheriff Crockett and Tubbs. In burst Lithgow in a light blue shirt and sports jacket with rolled up sleeves and Nealon dressed as a Native American. We get the Miami Vice theme song over images of cows. Then we get the longest sketch ever without any jokes. Dana plays a Mexican cattle rustler (just to cement his place as the Billy Crystal of this season, the guy who has no problems playing any race with an offensive accent) who is doing something shady. Then they go to an AA meeting where Jon Lovitz is playing David Crosby playing Wild Bill Hickok. Not only are there no laughs to be had here but it is also incredibly long. They go from place to place trying to solve this crime and then we get a title card saying, "End of Part One". I'm thinking to myself, oh thank God that's over. Then they say here's some scenes from part two. Lithgow lip syncs Don Johnson's 'Heartbeat' and Dana gets gored by a bull. This was the funniest part of the sketch but it was too little too late to save it. The worst part about this is that they did this last season in the Harry Dean Stanton show with 'Cleveland Vice' and it was unfunny and long then too.
Reverend Dwight Henderson: World's Meanest Methodist Minister
2 Stars
A reverend has nothing but contempt for his parishonersWe start with Lithgow reading a letter he's writing to a woman refusing a dinner invitation because he finds their family gross and boring. He shuns their home as he would a dreaded skin disease. A couple comes in having marital troubles but he dismisses them as he is not interested in the subject. Then a woman talks about her sick grandma and he plays an imaginary violin. His secretary tells him that collection plate offerings have not been great since he's taken over the church but he doesn't seem to care. The joke here is that he is mean and it plays over and over again. Not the greatest sketch but Lithgow was a delight. It's amazing what this guy can do with absolutely nothing.
The Pat Stevens Show
2 Stars
Pat interviews a fashion designer"I'm wearing a hat and I'm sitting. God knows I'm versatile."
Tonight's guest is Halston who is here to talk about the new Spring fashion designs. He laments that he sold the rights to his name to JC Penny. I really didn't get this.
Anita Baker
'Sweet Love'
After an incredibly slow start to the show this was just what I needed. Anita Baker has a smooth voice that just ran a calming sensation through my body. I hate to be crude but I'm a little moist.
Weekend Update
"Or are they just trying to get rid of those shower caps"
Probably because the show isn't tickling me this week I didn't bother writing down any jokes.
Of all the cast members, Kevin Nealon is making the most out of his time when it comes to Weekend Update. Chevy Chase and Eddie Murphy will tell you that it's the best way to get your name out there. The audience might not know Jon Lovitz's name but they know him as the liar guy. Kevin Nealon gets introduced by name, does a 3 minute funny bit and you think, that Nealon guy is pretty funny. This is another one of his rambling monologues where he can't figure out the point he's trying to make. He talks about the advancements in science and how you can now tell a child's sex before it's born. The real question is what sex is it going to be later in life. Then he has one of my favorite lines this season when he starts to talk about abortion.
"The big question is, "when does life begin". Some people say life begins at 40."
Then A. Whitney Brown talks about something. I'm not really sure, something about sperm or babies. I think it had to do with a court case that was ongoing. I started zoning out as it was way too topical and dry for me.
Master Thespian
Of all the cast members, Kevin Nealon is making the most out of his time when it comes to Weekend Update. Chevy Chase and Eddie Murphy will tell you that it's the best way to get your name out there. The audience might not know Jon Lovitz's name but they know him as the liar guy. Kevin Nealon gets introduced by name, does a 3 minute funny bit and you think, that Nealon guy is pretty funny. This is another one of his rambling monologues where he can't figure out the point he's trying to make. He talks about the advancements in science and how you can now tell a child's sex before it's born. The real question is what sex is it going to be later in life. Then he has one of my favorite lines this season when he starts to talk about abortion.
"The big question is, "when does life begin". Some people say life begins at 40."
Then A. Whitney Brown talks about something. I'm not really sure, something about sperm or babies. I think it had to do with a court case that was ongoing. I started zoning out as it was way too topical and dry for me.
Master Thespian
4 Stars
Master Thespian gets some advice from his mentorJohn Lithgow is the first host to get a recurring character in the new era of SNL. I didn't fact check that but I'm pretty sure it's true. Wait, did Steve Guttenberg's gay guy who tries to trick blind men get a second sketch? Don't think so. Master Thespian is going on stage tonight as Hamlet because Laurence Olivier is sick. He wants to expose Olivier for the fraud that he is but he's nervous so he calls his mentor, Baudelaire, for advice. He enters wearing a mask which fools Thespian as Baudelaire's acting was so great. They trade barbs for a while eventually Thespian gets a call saying the play is cancelled as Ophelia is sick, Baudelaire accepts the acting challenge to play Hamlet's ill-fated girlfriend. Lithgow's natural hamminess is perfect for this sketch and him and Lovitz have great chemistry. I'm glad we got this instead of another Tommy Flanagan.
Discover
5 Stars
Peter Graves interviews a scientistI was not expecting this to come back but am so glad it did. Hartman plays Peter Graves, kind of how he appears in the movie Airplane!. He's an aloof dimwit.
"Hello Peter."
"Please, call me Peter."
"I did."
"Alright."
The scientist explains microbiology and bacteria to Peter.
"Bacteria is very small. You could fit a million bacteria on the head of a pin."
"So, you could fit a lot of them into a small space. Like the Japanese?"
"Bacteria is very small. You could fit a million bacteria on the head of a pin."
"So, you could fit a lot of them into a small space. Like the Japanese?"
He goes on to try to figure out what she's saying.
"Bacteria are everywhere but we can't see them. Like Heather Thomas's breasts?"
"We have some microscopes here. Would you like to see them?"
"Yes, but I hardly know Heather."
As she's explaining something else we cut to Peter who is sucking on some gas. He looks into one of the microscopes and sees an ice skater doing tricks.
Hartman is so unbelievably funny here that I could see this every week and never get tired of it. I hope the show doesn't try to prove that statement wrong.
Cross Country
"Bacteria are everywhere but we can't see them. Like Heather Thomas's breasts?"
"We have some microscopes here. Would you like to see them?"
"Yes, but I hardly know Heather."
As she's explaining something else we cut to Peter who is sucking on some gas. He looks into one of the microscopes and sees an ice skater doing tricks.
Hartman is so unbelievably funny here that I could see this every week and never get tired of it. I hope the show doesn't try to prove that statement wrong.
Cross Country
4 Stars
A taxi driver helps a guy get to his wedding on timeLovitz gets into a cab and tells the cabbie that he needs to be at City Hall in 9 minutes. The cabbie tells him that he could walk it but Lovitz says that he needs to be at the City Hall in San Francisco. His plane got delayed and there's an extra 20 bucks in it for the driver if he can make it on time. The cabbie begins the 3,000 mile journey and we see them racing in front of a green screen. They throw change out the window as they pass tollbooths, they hit a cow when they get to Indiana, they get pulled over by a cop who clocks them at 965 mph. They get to their destination which costs $1,310 (a pretty good deal at today's prices) but Lovitz realizes he forgot his wedding ring on his dresser. The cabbie tells him to hold on as they speed back to get it. I had a big smile on my face for this piece of stupidity.
Anita Baker returns with 'Same Ole Love'. This is another smooth song and Anita sways her head side to side like a woman possessed by the music.
The Fighter
2 Stars
A boxer contemplates a new career path
Done in the style of a 1950s television drama, Lithgow plays a boxer who just lost a fight. His manager berates him, his fiancee dumps him and he's distraught. Lithgow gives a big dramatic monologue about his life and then Phil enters as a man with a proposition. He wants Lithgow to beat up his son. He has been taking tennis lessons and his forearm is so strong now that he thinks he might do permanent damage. His manager says he will have him trained in 2 weeks time. These black and white pieces are not working for me this season. All the scenes we've gotten from The Jungle Room and this, they're more interesting than funny. Phil coming in at the end almost saved it and I especially liked Dana as the son trying to tempt Lithgow into punishing him but it was too late. They're going for something other than comedy but I'm not sure what that is.
FINAL ANALYSIS
FINAL ANALYSIS
"P.S. Enjoy your turkey and Cheez Whiz."
Average
3.1 Stars
MVP
Jon Lovitz
U.S. Embassy, Laramie Vice, Master Thespian, Cross Country, The Fighter
U.S. Embassy, Laramie Vice, Master Thespian, Cross Country, The Fighter
Best Sketch
Discover
Worst Sketch
Laramie Vice
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
This episode had some good in it but it was all crammed into a big chunk after Weekend Update. Laramie Vice, World's Meanest Minister and Pat Stevens were a slog to get through. If they had swapped Pat Stevens with Discover or Master Thespian that would have given me a glimmer of hope for what was coming. I was thinking this was the worst of the season and then all of a sudden I started really liking it. The bookends of the episode were really weak. Laramie Vice was a big fat turd and having it start the episode was a mistake. I would have moved that post Update, lead off with Master Thespian and bury Pat Stevens at the end of the night. Also swap Cross Country and The Fighter as Lithgow and Lovitz racing across America in a super sonic taxi cab is just the perfect thing to end my night.
Host Analysis
John Lithgow is a consummate pro. Even in the crappy sketches he handled himself well. Based on this episode and his hosting gig in season 11, I'm surprised he didn't become a Tom Hanks or Christopher Walken, a guy who hosts every other season and keeps coming back.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the show Lithgow said, "How's that for a perfect show?". While not a perfect show, it was enjoyable. The back end really made up for a terribly slow start. I went from hating this episode to loving it really quickly. Lithgow needs to come back every season. He's still getting Emmy nominations for his work, they still have time to bring him back. He worked at NBC for years, why didn't he host at all during his time on 3rd Rock From The Sun?
Up Next
Up Next
Speaking of guys with long running sitcoms who earned countless Emmy awards, Night Court's John Larroquette hosts with musical guest Timbuk 3. My biggest question is, did Timbuk 3 have more than one song?
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