"Feel free to watch it bare ass naked"
Cold Open: Air Force One
5 Stars
Bob Dole and Newt Gingrich aren't happy about flying coach
We open with real footage of Bill Clinton talking to reporters on Air Force One. We then cut to the coach section where we see Norm MacDonald as Bob Dole and Darrell Hammond as Newt Gingrich angry that they are forced to pay for a biscuit. Things escalate about how bad their surroundings are, they have pieces of rope for seat belts, there are chickens and goats running around, the in-flight movie is The Beastmaster and to make matters worse they are sitting in front of the winners of the "Win A Flight On Air Force One" contest. Newt says that Clinton will pay for all of this when they got back to Washington, even if they have to shut down the whole damn government. Dole throws his pen out the window which causes turbulence. This was a perfect political cold open because it was topical but also just silly. You don't need to know anything about anything to enjoy this.
Laura Leighton Monologue
We open with real footage of Bill Clinton talking to reporters on Air Force One. We then cut to the coach section where we see Norm MacDonald as Bob Dole and Darrell Hammond as Newt Gingrich angry that they are forced to pay for a biscuit. Things escalate about how bad their surroundings are, they have pieces of rope for seat belts, there are chickens and goats running around, the in-flight movie is The Beastmaster and to make matters worse they are sitting in front of the winners of the "Win A Flight On Air Force One" contest. Newt says that Clinton will pay for all of this when they got back to Washington, even if they have to shut down the whole damn government. Dole throws his pen out the window which causes turbulence. This was a perfect political cold open because it was topical but also just silly. You don't need to know anything about anything to enjoy this.
Laura Leighton Monologue
4 Stars
Lucien Callow and Fagan gush over Laura Leighton
First things first, I don't know who Laura Leighton is and it was only because she introduced herself as the girl who plays Sydney on Melrose Place that I have any idea of why she was hosting. She doesn't get far into her monologue before she is interrupted by the two fops from last week's show. They are her biggest fans and had sent a sweater and a pumpkin cake to her dressing room. They fawn over her in an overly creepy way ending with showing her a picture of them watching Melrose Place completely naked. This is one of those monologues where if you're not sure they can handle it on their own you bring in a recurring character for help. I'm not tired of these characters yet so it was fun to see them interact again.
Old Glory Insurance
First things first, I don't know who Laura Leighton is and it was only because she introduced herself as the girl who plays Sydney on Melrose Place that I have any idea of why she was hosting. She doesn't get far into her monologue before she is interrupted by the two fops from last week's show. They are her biggest fans and had sent a sweater and a pumpkin cake to her dressing room. They fawn over her in an overly creepy way ending with showing her a picture of them watching Melrose Place completely naked. This is one of those monologues where if you're not sure they can handle it on their own you bring in a recurring character for help. I'm not tired of these characters yet so it was fun to see them interact again.
Old Glory Insurance
5 Stars
"An insurance policy with a robot plan? Surely I'm too old"
Sam Waterston is a pitchman for Old Glory Insurance which has a policy specifically for robot attacks.
"As a senior citizen you're probably aware the threat that robots pose. They eat old people's medicine for fuel. And when they grab you with those metal claws you can't break free, because they're made of metal and robots are strong."
Hiring Waterston for this was a flash of genius. It just wouldn't work with anyone else. Not only is he age appropriate for a commercial like this but the gravitas in his voice makes the silliness he's saying all the funnier.
Fortune Teller
Sam Waterston is a pitchman for Old Glory Insurance which has a policy specifically for robot attacks.
"As a senior citizen you're probably aware the threat that robots pose. They eat old people's medicine for fuel. And when they grab you with those metal claws you can't break free, because they're made of metal and robots are strong."
Hiring Waterston for this was a flash of genius. It just wouldn't work with anyone else. Not only is he age appropriate for a commercial like this but the gravitas in his voice makes the silliness he's saying all the funnier.
Fortune Teller
3 Stars
Stan Hooper gets his fortune told but focuses on one inconsistency
Stan Hooper got a free reading for his birthday and visits Madame Sophia. He seems skeptical about fortune telling even after she tells him all the names of his 7 brothers and sisters. She mentions how he grew up in Dayton, Ohio but he scoffs and corrects her that it was Cincinnati, Ohio. Everything she says afterwards is met with a crack about how she got his hometown wrong even when she's about to reveal the identity of the man who murdered his mother.
"Yeah, those "Dayton" police never could figure that out."
Madame Sophia even goes as far as to summon his mother's spirit but Stan is only interested in asking his dead mother if she ever lived in Dayton. Madame Sophia warns Stan to not leave or he will be murdered with a hatchet. He leaves and returns with a spear sticking out of his belly.
"Yep, that's a hatchet all right. I can tell by it's spear like shape."
So he's a skeptic even with proof. It's not as good as other Norm sketches we've seen but it is bolstered by strong performances.
Home For The Holidays
Stan Hooper got a free reading for his birthday and visits Madame Sophia. He seems skeptical about fortune telling even after she tells him all the names of his 7 brothers and sisters. She mentions how he grew up in Dayton, Ohio but he scoffs and corrects her that it was Cincinnati, Ohio. Everything she says afterwards is met with a crack about how she got his hometown wrong even when she's about to reveal the identity of the man who murdered his mother.
"Yeah, those "Dayton" police never could figure that out."
Madame Sophia even goes as far as to summon his mother's spirit but Stan is only interested in asking his dead mother if she ever lived in Dayton. Madame Sophia warns Stan to not leave or he will be murdered with a hatchet. He leaves and returns with a spear sticking out of his belly.
"Yep, that's a hatchet all right. I can tell by it's spear like shape."
So he's a skeptic even with proof. It's not as good as other Norm sketches we've seen but it is bolstered by strong performances.
Home For The Holidays
2 Stars
A Time Life video collection for people who may miss Thanksgiving
With so many people's busy schedules Time Life is offering a video collection of all the family fights you'll miss out on if you can't make if to your family's get together. Mark McKinney reads us a list of the fights.
"Dad, stop talking to her so much, she's my girlfriend"
"What made you think you could bring that black man into my house"
With so many people's busy schedules Time Life is offering a video collection of all the family fights you'll miss out on if you can't make if to your family's get together. Mark McKinney reads us a list of the fights.
"Dad, stop talking to her so much, she's my girlfriend"
"What made you think you could bring that black man into my house"
"Feeling tipsy"
"You'll eat every bite of that dinner your mother cooked, and if you vomit it up, you'll eat that too"
"It's homosexual Dad, not faggot. And no, I don't have to live here"
We also get 3 dramatizations all ending with Will Ferrell leaving the table screaming, "That's it, f**k this, I'm leaving!"
What A Woman Wants
2 Stars
A show for men about what women want
This was a character piece for Molly Shannon that didn't work for me. She hosts a show where men call in to find out what women really want and she's joined by her friend who callers point out is much prettier than her. Shannon's character has flashes of Kristen Wiig's Judy Grimes, mostly because she keeps saying, "Just kidding" over and over.
Cydney
This was a character piece for Molly Shannon that didn't work for me. She hosts a show where men call in to find out what women really want and she's joined by her friend who callers point out is much prettier than her. Shannon's character has flashes of Kristen Wiig's Judy Grimes, mostly because she keeps saying, "Just kidding" over and over.
Cydney
1 Star
A perfume commercial starring a bunch of angry little people
We start with a black and white perfume commercial for 'Cydney' and in walks Laura Leighton surrounded by most of the male cast (including Spade in a rare sketch appearance) on their knees. Leighton yells cut because "that midget was staring at me". Ferrell tells her that they prefer to be called "little people". Wow, we got "faggot" in the Home For The Holidays sketch and now "midget". Way to keep it PC, SNL. The whole sketch is basically Leighton and Tim Meadows as the director calling the rest of the cast midgets and then they correct them and get mad. During one take Fred Wolf takes off his shirt because he wants to make the commercial sexy. Leighton has had enough so she clicks her heels together and says there is no place like home and wakes up on the set of Melrose Place. So I guess she was playing her Melrose Place character but that wasn't clear at all (unless maybe you've seen Melrose Place and could recognize the subtle nuances in her performance). Shirtless Fred Wolf little person is dancing beside her when she wakes up for some reason. This was rough.
Weekend Update
We start with a black and white perfume commercial for 'Cydney' and in walks Laura Leighton surrounded by most of the male cast (including Spade in a rare sketch appearance) on their knees. Leighton yells cut because "that midget was staring at me". Ferrell tells her that they prefer to be called "little people". Wow, we got "faggot" in the Home For The Holidays sketch and now "midget". Way to keep it PC, SNL. The whole sketch is basically Leighton and Tim Meadows as the director calling the rest of the cast midgets and then they correct them and get mad. During one take Fred Wolf takes off his shirt because he wants to make the commercial sexy. Leighton has had enough so she clicks her heels together and says there is no place like home and wakes up on the set of Melrose Place. So I guess she was playing her Melrose Place character but that wasn't clear at all (unless maybe you've seen Melrose Place and could recognize the subtle nuances in her performance). Shirtless Fred Wolf little person is dancing beside her when she wakes up for some reason. This was rough.
Weekend Update
"I think Harrison Ford's new mustache works and by works I mean looks really gay"
OJ Simpson is upset about Robert Shapiro's new book but is extremely pleased that he go away with killing his wife and that waiter.
2 Chinese women have set a record by living 12 days in a room with 888 deadly snakes. They know hold a place in the Guinness Book Of World Retards.
Magic Johnson is writing a new book entitled, "What you can do to avoid AIDS". Chapter 1: Don't have sex with me. This joke elicited some boos from the audience.
KFC unveiled the winner of it's Mother's Day greeting card competition. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Eat lots and lots of fried chicken.
Next week is Thanksgiving or as turkeys call it, 'Murder Day'.
Desk Pieces
We get a big lead up from Norm about his first guest, Chief economist Anthony Holbrook, to talk about the debt ceiling. It's actually just writer Frank Sebastiano in a wrinkled t-shirt who yells 'Howard Stern rules!" and leaves. Norm apologizes for the hoax.
Later we get another big build up for an interview with Professor Gunther Lamber Karlofsky who is again Sebastiano who holds up a porno mag and yells, "Stern rules!"
Here with the local news from Queens is Joe Blow. Colin Quinn (who was not mentioned in the opening credits) shows up holding his lunch box and tells us what's going on in his world. He's fighting with his neighbors, his boss is breaking his balls and the guy across the street from him stole his garbage can. He tries to get Norm to grab a beer with him after the show and Norm tries to blow him off.
Rancid
"Roots Radical"
I am not familiar with Rancid whatsoever and they are one of those punk bands that plays the same couple of notes and screams. Luckily, their performance was fun. A couple of guys in shiny, colorful Mohawks twirl around and scream. I think I heard an F-bomb but I couldn't quite make out anything they said so I can't be sure.
Party
2 Stars
The girl nobody invited to the party makes awkward conversation
Laura Leighton is telling a fun story to her friends when Cheri Oteri saddles up and starts to tell a very boring story about waiting for a bus that kills the party. Everybody looks around awkwardly and Leighton mentions that Oteri overheard her talking about the party so she felt obligated to invite her. Tim starts to tell a story about helping a woman give birth in an elevator to which Oteri tells a story about losing a croquet ball. Molly Shannon says that she ran into Charlton Heston at an ATM, Oteri says she saw Norman Fell at a Sizzler's. Everyone eventually leaves the party except for Oteri and Leighton, we fade out while Cheri tells her about the first time she wore a two piece bathing suit. I liked Oteri's character, it was very awkward and relatable. It is hard to make a funny sketch revolving around a character that isn't funny and this sketch isn't funny "ha ha" it's more funny "I've been in that situation before".
Spade In America
Laura Leighton is telling a fun story to her friends when Cheri Oteri saddles up and starts to tell a very boring story about waiting for a bus that kills the party. Everybody looks around awkwardly and Leighton mentions that Oteri overheard her talking about the party so she felt obligated to invite her. Tim starts to tell a story about helping a woman give birth in an elevator to which Oteri tells a story about losing a croquet ball. Molly Shannon says that she ran into Charlton Heston at an ATM, Oteri says she saw Norman Fell at a Sizzler's. Everyone eventually leaves the party except for Oteri and Leighton, we fade out while Cheri tells her about the first time she wore a two piece bathing suit. I liked Oteri's character, it was very awkward and relatable. It is hard to make a funny sketch revolving around a character that isn't funny and this sketch isn't funny "ha ha" it's more funny "I've been in that situation before".
Spade In America
2 Stars
Spade interviews Sean Penn while he gets a tattoo
For some reason Sean Penn told Spade that he would only agree to an interview if he could give Spade a tattoo as well. We cut to a remote piece of Spade getting a tattoo from Spade intercut with him pointing out tattoo designs in the lobby and making fun of them. This is, just like the other ones, lame but it had a more fun energy than previous installments. I liked when Spade reenacted a scene from Casualties Of War with Penn in his Michael J. Fox impression but this was still pretty lame, especially Spade's lame commentary about the tattoo designs. Worst part of the bit is that it ends with Spade getting a tattoo of Calvin without Hobbes and when we cut back to Spade in the studio he tells us that the tattoo is real but doesn't roll up his sleeve to prove it.
Self-Discipline
For some reason Sean Penn told Spade that he would only agree to an interview if he could give Spade a tattoo as well. We cut to a remote piece of Spade getting a tattoo from Spade intercut with him pointing out tattoo designs in the lobby and making fun of them. This is, just like the other ones, lame but it had a more fun energy than previous installments. I liked when Spade reenacted a scene from Casualties Of War with Penn in his Michael J. Fox impression but this was still pretty lame, especially Spade's lame commentary about the tattoo designs. Worst part of the bit is that it ends with Spade getting a tattoo of Calvin without Hobbes and when we cut back to Spade in the studio he tells us that the tattoo is real but doesn't roll up his sleeve to prove it.
Self-Discipline
2 Stars
An office worker beats himself up for his mistakes, literally
Mark McKinney is having a meeting with Laura Leighton but says he was missing some pages in the fax he was sent. She calls in Jim Breuer to tell him he made a mistake and he starts slapping himself in the face, then he bangs his head on the table, breaks a lamp over his head and punches himself in the face. He starts to throw himself out but instead throws himself out the window, falling to his death. This is basically a sketch version of his Weekend Update bit from a few episodes ago. Breuer seems to be cementing himself as the physical comedy guy which is fine, but it's starting to feel like this is his only thing. That's bad news because Chris Kattan is gonna show up soon.
Rancid returns to scream Ruby Soho. I liked this song a little better but this style of music isn't my bag.
Mark McKinney is having a meeting with Laura Leighton but says he was missing some pages in the fax he was sent. She calls in Jim Breuer to tell him he made a mistake and he starts slapping himself in the face, then he bangs his head on the table, breaks a lamp over his head and punches himself in the face. He starts to throw himself out but instead throws himself out the window, falling to his death. This is basically a sketch version of his Weekend Update bit from a few episodes ago. Breuer seems to be cementing himself as the physical comedy guy which is fine, but it's starting to feel like this is his only thing. That's bad news because Chris Kattan is gonna show up soon.
Rancid returns to scream Ruby Soho. I liked this song a little better but this style of music isn't my bag.
I Wanna Git Witchu
2 Stars
A man tries to pick up a lady
Meadows sees Leighton on the street and tries to pick her up with the line, "I wanna git witchu". He keeps saying it over and over and it is clearly not impressing her. He then changes tactics and describes a romantic evening the two could share. They could sit in an outdoor cafe and people watch after seeing Il Postino at the art house cinema before going back to his place where he can "git witchu". She asks him to be honest so he invites her to his room at the Y where they can talk and listen to his transistor radio and she accepts. A very forgettable sketch to end a forgettable episode.
FINAL ANALYSIS
Meadows sees Leighton on the street and tries to pick her up with the line, "I wanna git witchu". He keeps saying it over and over and it is clearly not impressing her. He then changes tactics and describes a romantic evening the two could share. They could sit in an outdoor cafe and people watch after seeing Il Postino at the art house cinema before going back to his place where he can "git witchu". She asks him to be honest so he invites her to his room at the Y where they can talk and listen to his transistor radio and she accepts. A very forgettable sketch to end a forgettable episode.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"I feel like a weasel sitting on a hot plate"
Average
2.7 Stars
MVP
Norm MacDonald
Air Force One, Fortune Teller, Cydney, Weekend Update
Air Force One, Fortune Teller, Cydney, Weekend Update
Best Sketch
Air Force One
Worst Sketch
Cydney
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
The placement of sketches wouldn't help anything. It's like if you have a bunch of nasty food and you put it in a blender, the order in which you put the stuff in doesn't matter. A poop Brussels sprout dirt milkshake is just as gross as a Brussels sprout dirt poop milkshake.
Host Analysis
I had no idea who Laura Leighton was and after watching this episode I still have no idea. I know she was on Melrose Place and...that's it. She was pretty much the same in every sketch and I never got a feel for who she was as an actress. She delivered her lines well and never distracted or attracted attention for the wrong reasons but also wasn't given much of anything to do.
Final Thoughts
Having a great cold open, good monologue and great commercial parody can really throw that sketch average out of whack. Besides Update, everything post monologue was a big bust. I didn't like this episode at all but because of the 3 good things in it the rating is just below average. A lot of misfiring characters this week. Molly Shannon and Cheri Oteri swung and missed and even Norm had a rare misfire. Then there was all the un-PC terms. We got faggot, retard and midget all in the span of 3 sketches. I'm no prude but the language was a little jarring.
Up Next
ER star Anthony Edwards hosts with musical guest Foo Fighters. I am more excited for one of those things than the other. See if you can guess which one.
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