"Two things I love, whiskey and whores"
Cold Open: Halloween In New Hampshire
5 Stars
The political campaign extends to trick or treat
The whole sketch is an unbroken POV shot of a woman opening her door to trick or treaters. The first person is Norm MacDonald as Bob Dole then David Koechner as Phil Gramm. They are both using this as an opportunity to scrounge up votes. Bill Clinton also shows up but he's only there to grab a couple of handfuls of candy. Cheri Oteri also shows up as Ross Perot. Then we get cameos from Senator Bill Bradley who isn't looking for votes but rather Reese's peanut butter cups and Lamar Alexander who wants to warn the lady that Dole and Gramm are having a fist fight on her front lawn. This was funny and perfectly executed. There were no dropped queues, the door closes on one person and then almost immediately opens to another. So often effectively pulling off a sketch live isn't rewarded but this was flawless and I couldn't help but think of the cast backstage making sure they hit their marks on time.
Gabriel Byrne Monologue
The whole sketch is an unbroken POV shot of a woman opening her door to trick or treaters. The first person is Norm MacDonald as Bob Dole then David Koechner as Phil Gramm. They are both using this as an opportunity to scrounge up votes. Bill Clinton also shows up but he's only there to grab a couple of handfuls of candy. Cheri Oteri also shows up as Ross Perot. Then we get cameos from Senator Bill Bradley who isn't looking for votes but rather Reese's peanut butter cups and Lamar Alexander who wants to warn the lady that Dole and Gramm are having a fist fight on her front lawn. This was funny and perfectly executed. There were no dropped queues, the door closes on one person and then almost immediately opens to another. So often effectively pulling off a sketch live isn't rewarded but this was flawless and I couldn't help but think of the cast backstage making sure they hit their marks on time.
Gabriel Byrne Monologue
4 Stars
Byrne doesn't like Irish jokes
Byrne is enthusiastic about the success he and his fellow Irishmen have had. People like Bono, Neil Jordan, Aidan Quinn and Liam Neeson are getting noticed. As he talks Fred Wolf and Colin Quinn start to dance behind him dressed like a bottle of whiskey and a potato. He says that he hates Irish stereotypes and they back off but then he says that nobody likes a joke better than the Irish and they start to dance again. He turns around and says, "You sons of guns, you've done it to me again" and dances a jig with them. I wish he had a bigger change in his demeanor from serious Irish man to happy Irish man but this was fun.
Marshall Power Tools
Byrne is enthusiastic about the success he and his fellow Irishmen have had. People like Bono, Neil Jordan, Aidan Quinn and Liam Neeson are getting noticed. As he talks Fred Wolf and Colin Quinn start to dance behind him dressed like a bottle of whiskey and a potato. He says that he hates Irish stereotypes and they back off but then he says that nobody likes a joke better than the Irish and they start to dance again. He turns around and says, "You sons of guns, you've done it to me again" and dances a jig with them. I wish he had a bigger change in his demeanor from serious Irish man to happy Irish man but this was fun.
Marshall Power Tools
3 Stars
A family owned power tools company displays their injuries
Koechner has a hook for a hand and proudly says that Marshall Power Tools are the best and they've been that way since his dad founded the company. We see Mark McKinney as his father with two robot arms and then the entire Marshall clan who all have artificial limbs. This was very short which was good because there was only one joke.
St. Monica Talent Auditions
Koechner has a hook for a hand and proudly says that Marshall Power Tools are the best and they've been that way since his dad founded the company. We see Mark McKinney as his father with two robot arms and then the entire Marshall clan who all have artificial limbs. This was very short which was good because there was only one joke.
St. Monica Talent Auditions
4 Stars
Mary Katherine Gallagher auditions for her school talent show
We open with Will Ferrell singing 'Message In A Bottle' off-key. Gabriel Byrne as a priest introduces the next audition, Mary Katharine Gallagher. She slides in, knocking over some folding chairs along the way. She sticks her hands in her armpits and smells them, you know the character but this is her first outing so it's all new to the audience. She does a monologue from her favorite Lifetime TV movie The Betty Broderick Story and sings 'Sometimes When We Touch'. As she sings she puts her foot up on the piano revealing a crotch shot that Gabriel quickly censors with his clipboard. She ends with a gymnastics display that knocks her into a pile of folding chairs. Man, I remember when I was unbreakable. If I did something like this now I wouldn't be able to get out of bed for a week. I know we're gonna see this character a lot this season but this was a nice introduction and a very fun sketch with terrific energy from Shannon.
We open with Will Ferrell singing 'Message In A Bottle' off-key. Gabriel Byrne as a priest introduces the next audition, Mary Katharine Gallagher. She slides in, knocking over some folding chairs along the way. She sticks her hands in her armpits and smells them, you know the character but this is her first outing so it's all new to the audience. She does a monologue from her favorite Lifetime TV movie The Betty Broderick Story and sings 'Sometimes When We Touch'. As she sings she puts her foot up on the piano revealing a crotch shot that Gabriel quickly censors with his clipboard. She ends with a gymnastics display that knocks her into a pile of folding chairs. Man, I remember when I was unbreakable. If I did something like this now I wouldn't be able to get out of bed for a week. I know we're gonna see this character a lot this season but this was a nice introduction and a very fun sketch with terrific energy from Shannon.
Cooking With Keith
3 Stars
Keith Richards hosts his own cooking show
What's this? A first time host is doing a solo impression sketch with no help from any cast members? This is bizarre and something you very rarely see. Byrne plays Keith Richards and he teaches us how to make a late night fun snack. He marinates some beef in whiskey, dices up flour like it's cocaine and puts a pot in the microwave. He also gives us a handy tip, if you make your ice out of booze it won't dilute your drink because it adds even more booze.
Fuzzy Memories
What's this? A first time host is doing a solo impression sketch with no help from any cast members? This is bizarre and something you very rarely see. Byrne plays Keith Richards and he teaches us how to make a late night fun snack. He marinates some beef in whiskey, dices up flour like it's cocaine and puts a pot in the microwave. He also gives us a handy tip, if you make your ice out of booze it won't dilute your drink because it adds even more booze.
Fuzzy Memories
4 Stars
Jack Handey's dad mysteriously asked him to go fishing once, and only once
One time dad asked me to go fishing, I got the feeling he was going to try and drown me. I don't know why, he never tried to kill me before but he also never tried to take me fishing. I locked myself in the car and refused to come out. Dad never took me fishing again so I think that proves my case.
Alanis Morisette
One time dad asked me to go fishing, I got the feeling he was going to try and drown me. I don't know why, he never tried to kill me before but he also never tried to take me fishing. I locked myself in the car and refused to come out. Dad never took me fishing again so I think that proves my case.
Alanis Morisette
'Hand In My Pocket'
Did I own 'Jagged Little Pill'? Why don't you just ask me if I was alive in 1995. Hey, that's Taylor Hawkins on drums, apparently he was on tour with Alanis before joining Foo Fighters. The show bleeps out the lyric 'chicken shit'. After Cheri Oteri's "shit" last week and Alanis's this week we're on a roll. A shit roll.
Weekend Update
"What the hell did we just do? What kind of crazy notion was that?"
Some more OJ jokes to start the segment
"Originally vowing to never rest until his ex-wife's killer was brought to justice, OJ now vows to have sex with hot looking models."
"Paula Barbieri is rethinking getting married to OJ fearing that she would be brutally murdered and someone will try to pin it on OJ."
Don Mattingly is headed to play baseball in Japan and is excited to play in a league where he will have the biggest hog.
Rikki Lake apologizes for a scandal then eats a huge can of frosting.
Roy Rogers and Dale Evans have started a website. The most frequently asked question is "Hey aren't you guys dead?".
Tomorrow is Halloween or as evil old people call it, Razor Apple Day.
Desk Pieces
Darrell Hammond shows up as Phil Donahue. He rambles incoherently and takes callers. It's just an excuse to showcase the impression but it's fun.
Cheri Oteri is here to talk about the new movie Dangerous Minds. As she talks she gets distracted because of her crush on Norm. Molly Shannon comes out and they gossip as Norm and David Spade toss a football to each other. This is all broken up by Lorne Michaels who cancels the cast party when he finds an unflattering drawing of him.
Baby Genetics
4 Stars
A doctor displays the advancements in baby science
Walls and McKinney are an expecting couple and Gabriel Byrne is the doctor. He says the baby is doing well and asks if they would like to know the sex. They are going to have a normal, healthy, bi-sexual boy.
"We're doing things with genetics now that seemed impossible 20 minutes ago."
Byrne then begins to tell them more things about what their son will do in life, he'll be bald by the age of 29, he'll vote republican and either be a cannibalistic serial killer or a high school guidance counselor. His deadpan delivery works incredibly well here and the sketch is very funny. It looses a little steam near the end when they bring out Darrell Hammond as the son but still very funny.
Spade In America
Walls and McKinney are an expecting couple and Gabriel Byrne is the doctor. He says the baby is doing well and asks if they would like to know the sex. They are going to have a normal, healthy, bi-sexual boy.
"We're doing things with genetics now that seemed impossible 20 minutes ago."
Byrne then begins to tell them more things about what their son will do in life, he'll be bald by the age of 29, he'll vote republican and either be a cannibalistic serial killer or a high school guidance counselor. His deadpan delivery works incredibly well here and the sketch is very funny. It looses a little steam near the end when they bring out Darrell Hammond as the son but still very funny.
Spade In America
1 Star
Spade reports from the World Series
Just when I think it can't get any lamer. Spade throws to a remote piece of him at game 6 of the World Series. He interviews batboys, the security guys, Chrissie Hynde and some baseball players. In between he does some hilarious bits like when he does his impression of Motley Crue hitting a home run and he runs to home plate singing 'Home Sweet Home' or when he asks Chipper Jones if anyone ever sings 'Me And Mrs. Jones' to him in the dugout. Did I say hilarious? I meant incredibly lame. At one point he resorts to crawling on his hands and knees towards the camera as if he's begging us to like him.
Alanis Morisette returns to sing 'All I Really Want' which is some more hard rock warbling.
Book Reading
Just when I think it can't get any lamer. Spade throws to a remote piece of him at game 6 of the World Series. He interviews batboys, the security guys, Chrissie Hynde and some baseball players. In between he does some hilarious bits like when he does his impression of Motley Crue hitting a home run and he runs to home plate singing 'Home Sweet Home' or when he asks Chipper Jones if anyone ever sings 'Me And Mrs. Jones' to him in the dugout. Did I say hilarious? I meant incredibly lame. At one point he resorts to crawling on his hands and knees towards the camera as if he's begging us to like him.
Alanis Morisette returns to sing 'All I Really Want' which is some more hard rock warbling.
Book Reading
3 Stars
A poet reveals his love for older women
Gabriel Byrne is introduced as a writer who is not afraid to celebrate the mature woman. He reads a poem he wrote entitled 'Special Lady' where he dreams of being with an experienced woman with stretch marks and a big fanny. The women hearing this swoon but when he reads his next poem, which is specifically about having sex with an elderly woman, he seems to have gone to far. They don't want to hear about him making love to a grandma. He says that love has no age as they all walk out except for a very old lady who offers him a peppermint and the sketch ends as they slow dance to 'Lady In Red'. You see, he's gonna have sex with a very old woman is the joke. Byrne again displays a very good deadpan comic style here that works for the characters he's playing.
Riker's Island
Gabriel Byrne is introduced as a writer who is not afraid to celebrate the mature woman. He reads a poem he wrote entitled 'Special Lady' where he dreams of being with an experienced woman with stretch marks and a big fanny. The women hearing this swoon but when he reads his next poem, which is specifically about having sex with an elderly woman, he seems to have gone to far. They don't want to hear about him making love to a grandma. He says that love has no age as they all walk out except for a very old lady who offers him a peppermint and the sketch ends as they slow dance to 'Lady In Red'. You see, he's gonna have sex with a very old woman is the joke. Byrne again displays a very good deadpan comic style here that works for the characters he's playing.
Riker's Island
4 Stars
A security guard at Riker's Island gets his performance review
Gabriel Byrne gives guard Meadows his performance review and immediately fires him. When asked why he explains that at Riker's Island the average inmate is 6'3" and 240 pounds and Meadows is 5'8" and 140, he has no combat training and has been beaten and raped on over 200 different occasions. These aren't just in prison riots, he gets raped routinely at the prison talent shows and Sunday morning church services. In his defense, there haven't been any escape attempts since he's been employed but that's due to the fact that the prisoners enjoy raping him and don't want to escape. He eventually accepts his dismissal, disrobes and leaves and is immediately beaten and raped. Byrne's speedy delivery and Irish brogue worked perfect for the role and this was short, sweet and silly which is exactly what I want for the last sketch of the night.
FINAL ANALYSIS
Gabriel Byrne gives guard Meadows his performance review and immediately fires him. When asked why he explains that at Riker's Island the average inmate is 6'3" and 240 pounds and Meadows is 5'8" and 140, he has no combat training and has been beaten and raped on over 200 different occasions. These aren't just in prison riots, he gets raped routinely at the prison talent shows and Sunday morning church services. In his defense, there haven't been any escape attempts since he's been employed but that's due to the fact that the prisoners enjoy raping him and don't want to escape. He eventually accepts his dismissal, disrobes and leaves and is immediately beaten and raped. Byrne's speedy delivery and Irish brogue worked perfect for the role and this was short, sweet and silly which is exactly what I want for the last sketch of the night.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Dawn awakens across the Serengeti but I won't forget-y you"
Average
Average
3.5 Stars
MVP
Gabriel Byrne
But if I had to pick a cast member
Molly Shannon
Marshall Power Tools, St. Monica Talent Auditions, Weekend Update, Baby Genetics, Book Reading
But if I had to pick a cast member
Molly Shannon
Marshall Power Tools, St. Monica Talent Auditions, Weekend Update, Baby Genetics, Book Reading
Best Sketch
Baby Genetics
Worst Sketch
Book Reading
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
If you took out Spade In America and replaced it with a decent sketch this would have been that rare perfect episode where every sketch hit. Some were better than others but every individual sketch had something to like.
Host Analysis
Byrne not only appeared in a lot of sketches, but headlined them. Comparing him to David Schwimmer from last episode, who played the straight guy role all night, Byrne brought a dry comedic edge to every character he played. He seemed to go about his hosting duties as an actor, I noticed very little cue card dependency from him. He really did a nice job and I was completely surprised because I have never seen Byrne do comedy before but I guess if you give a good actor funny lines he'll nail them.
Final Thoughts
Final Thoughts
A 3.5 average (including the horrible Spade In America) is everything I can hope for in an episode. This episode also benefited from no expectations, I did not fathom that the episode to beat this season would be hosted by Gabriel Byrne.
Up Next
I'm not sure what to expect from Quentin Tarantino but I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised.
I'm not sure what to expect from Quentin Tarantino but I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised.
Always felt Byrne was an underrated host. Wouldn't have minded seeing him again.
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