"I just want to say I love porking broads"
Cold Open: Hootie's Million Man March
3 Stars
Darius Rucker from Hootie and the Blowfish holds a march of drunken frat boys
The sketch starts with Darrell Hammond as Peter Jennings and I can't explain why but I laughed out loud every time he said the word 'Hootie'. Louis Farrakhan's Million Man March was a success so now Hootie (Darius Rucker from the band Hootie and the Blowfish) is mounting his own Million Man March. We cut to Nancy Walls as Cokie Roberts interviewing a bunch of drunken frat guys then David Koechner as Charlie Sheen who announces to the crowd that he loves porking broads. Finally Tim Meadows comes out as Hootie and sings a parody of 'Hold My Hand'. Remember Adam Sandler's stupid songs? Where he would just make up something that rhymes and that was the joke? That's what this is. It seems like he's stealing Sandler's shtick. Like when he just randomly says that "the Maxwell poster is the best, you know that one with the guy sitting in the chair and his hair blowing back" then turns over his guitar to show the poster. This was nonsensical and stupid and for some reason I liked it. It started the show with a good energy. I have no idea what this sketch was about but I didn't care.
David Schwimmer Monologue
The sketch starts with Darrell Hammond as Peter Jennings and I can't explain why but I laughed out loud every time he said the word 'Hootie'. Louis Farrakhan's Million Man March was a success so now Hootie (Darius Rucker from the band Hootie and the Blowfish) is mounting his own Million Man March. We cut to Nancy Walls as Cokie Roberts interviewing a bunch of drunken frat guys then David Koechner as Charlie Sheen who announces to the crowd that he loves porking broads. Finally Tim Meadows comes out as Hootie and sings a parody of 'Hold My Hand'. Remember Adam Sandler's stupid songs? Where he would just make up something that rhymes and that was the joke? That's what this is. It seems like he's stealing Sandler's shtick. Like when he just randomly says that "the Maxwell poster is the best, you know that one with the guy sitting in the chair and his hair blowing back" then turns over his guitar to show the poster. This was nonsensical and stupid and for some reason I liked it. It started the show with a good energy. I have no idea what this sketch was about but I didn't care.
David Schwimmer Monologue
4 Stars
Schwimmer gets some help from his Friends and then some random TV stars
Just like with the cold open, I have no idea what this was but for some reason I liked it. Schwimmer comes out and says that he is a little nervous and a little lonely all by himself. He starts singing the theme to Friends and is then joined by Lisa Kudrow and Jennifer Aniston who have been sitting in the audience. They join him on stage and sing but are interrupted by Gary Coleman who starts singing the theme song to Diff'rent Strokes. Then Barry Williams comes out to sing the theme to The Brady Bunch. Then JJ Walker sings the theme to Good Times with a gospel choir. What the hell is going on here? I'm guessing the basic idea here is that the Friends theme was everywhere in 1995 and they are comparing it to other popular TV themes and then the idea got lost once a bunch of celebrity cameos got involved. Still, the audience is loving this and their energy is contagious. I had no idea what was going on but I had a good time.
Grayson Moorehead Security
Just like with the cold open, I have no idea what this was but for some reason I liked it. Schwimmer comes out and says that he is a little nervous and a little lonely all by himself. He starts singing the theme to Friends and is then joined by Lisa Kudrow and Jennifer Aniston who have been sitting in the audience. They join him on stage and sing but are interrupted by Gary Coleman who starts singing the theme song to Diff'rent Strokes. Then Barry Williams comes out to sing the theme to The Brady Bunch. Then JJ Walker sings the theme to Good Times with a gospel choir. What the hell is going on here? I'm guessing the basic idea here is that the Friends theme was everywhere in 1995 and they are comparing it to other popular TV themes and then the idea got lost once a bunch of celebrity cameos got involved. Still, the audience is loving this and their energy is contagious. I had no idea what was going on but I had a good time.
Grayson Moorehead Security
5 Stars
A look back at the founder of a brokerage firm
At Grayson Moorehead we still stick to the basic principles set forth by our founder. We then get James Downey in his perfectly soft spoken voice delivering those principles to his employees.
"We will make a list of our clients and keep it in a safe place"
"If we have time, we will make a backup copy of the list"
"Listen to your client"
"Don't leave the client's money lying around"
"We will invest only in white owned businesses"
Not all of the principles are still followed today.
This was a parody of a real commercial at the time if I remember correctly and I liked that they just took the conventions of this commercial and made their own thing. That way you don't need any reference but it's still funny.
Kids Vs. Grownuups
At Grayson Moorehead we still stick to the basic principles set forth by our founder. We then get James Downey in his perfectly soft spoken voice delivering those principles to his employees.
"We will make a list of our clients and keep it in a safe place"
"If we have time, we will make a backup copy of the list"
"Listen to your client"
"Don't leave the client's money lying around"
"We will invest only in white owned businesses"
Not all of the principles are still followed today.
This was a parody of a real commercial at the time if I remember correctly and I liked that they just took the conventions of this commercial and made their own thing. That way you don't need any reference but it's still funny.
Kids Vs. Grownuups
3 Stars
A Nickelodeon type show where kids compete against adults
Two kids face off against Mark McKinney and Molly Shannon in a trivia contest. The questions are all adult oriented though like where on the human body would you find the clitoris? The clinical term for a man peaking too soon? In the movie Showgirls, what was the name of the strip club? The kids start crying. The final round is a tether-ball match which McKinney wins handedly. The adults win a bunny, which is what one of the kids wanted, and a pot to cook it in. A fun sketch with a cute premise if a bit one note in its execution.
In a continuation from the first spot, Downey gives more of Grayson Moorehead's founding principles, these ones are a bit more absurd. He explains in detail how they will draw names for their Secret Santa and then tells them what to do if his wife calls while he's shagging his secretary.
Front Porch
2 Stars
A lady yells at kids from her front porch
A football flies at Cheri Oteri and she yells at the kids and tells them she's gonna keep it. This bit repeats 3 times with a twirler's baton, a helmet and a hockey net. Her son, played by Schwimmer, gets beat up by the other kids due to her actions. She gossips with her off-screen friends. When she gets her dress stuck on the hockey net she says, "look at this shit". This is a character monologue disguised as a sketch. I wouldn't be surprised if this was Oteri's audition piece. It reminded me a lot of doing theater in college. Someone takes a person from their neighborhood and turns it into a character. I'm gonna be that lady who yells off her front porch. It wasn't terrible but it was forgettable and I know we're gonna see this character multiple times this season.
Fuzzy Memories
A football flies at Cheri Oteri and she yells at the kids and tells them she's gonna keep it. This bit repeats 3 times with a twirler's baton, a helmet and a hockey net. Her son, played by Schwimmer, gets beat up by the other kids due to her actions. She gossips with her off-screen friends. When she gets her dress stuck on the hockey net she says, "look at this shit". This is a character monologue disguised as a sketch. I wouldn't be surprised if this was Oteri's audition piece. It reminded me a lot of doing theater in college. Someone takes a person from their neighborhood and turns it into a character. I'm gonna be that lady who yells off her front porch. It wasn't terrible but it was forgettable and I know we're gonna see this character multiple times this season.
Fuzzy Memories
4 Stars
Jack Handey recalls his best thanksgiving
Dad told us that business hasn't been good so we wouldn't have a turkey that year. They ate vegetables, bread and pie and it was just as good. Later that night he snuck into his parents room and they were eating a whole turkey. I guess it wasn't the best thanksgiving after all.
Elevator
Dad told us that business hasn't been good so we wouldn't have a turkey that year. They ate vegetables, bread and pie and it was just as good. Later that night he snuck into his parents room and they were eating a whole turkey. I guess it wasn't the best thanksgiving after all.
Elevator
3 Stars
David Schwimmer encounters some weirdos in an elevator
Schwimmer gets on an elevator and is crowded by Ferrell and McKinney. They get upset when he takes offense. They leave the elevator and Meadows and Breuer get on. They also crowd him but their excuse is that they are gay, Schwimmer says he isn't gay so they leave. Norm MacDonald comes in and stares at the wall, Cheri Oteri comes in and makes Schwimmer carry her, finally two guys walk in on their hands. Much like the rest of this episode, this was cute and silly but kind of forgettable.
Weekend Update
Schwimmer gets on an elevator and is crowded by Ferrell and McKinney. They get upset when he takes offense. They leave the elevator and Meadows and Breuer get on. They also crowd him but their excuse is that they are gay, Schwimmer says he isn't gay so they leave. Norm MacDonald comes in and stares at the wall, Cheri Oteri comes in and makes Schwimmer carry her, finally two guys walk in on their hands. Much like the rest of this episode, this was cute and silly but kind of forgettable.
Weekend Update
"And the manhunt continues"
OJ Simpson and his girlfriend went to see the erotic thriller Jade over the weekend. People got uncomfortable when he stood up and yelled, "You call that a stabbin'?"
A woman trapped in a car for days living off fruit juice and frost was welcomed home with a big meal. Ironically the menu consisted of fruit juice and frost.
The oldest living person in the world still has the strength to say "Oh god, I want to die."
Desk Pieces
Jim Breuer is here to talk about the World Series, kinda. He's really here to do a stand-up bit that has been repackaged for Update. He talks about his friend Gene who invites him out to a bar and gets into a fight that Jim has to break up. He gets into a fist fight with himself to demonstrate, a nice piece of physical comedy.
Will Ferrell is also here to talk about the World Series as John Two Eagles Flying a Native American in full Indian garb. The World Series is between the Cleveland Indians and the Atlanta Braves and he's supposed to talk about their offensive logos but instead talks about how the Indians are a better team. It's revealed that he is not really a Native American but rather a loser Indians fan. The best part of the bit was when he chastises the Braves logo and then praises the great Chief Wahoo and when he said Greg Maddux run like homosexual deer.
Jim Breuer is here to talk about the World Series, kinda. He's really here to do a stand-up bit that has been repackaged for Update. He talks about his friend Gene who invites him out to a bar and gets into a fight that Jim has to break up. He gets into a fist fight with himself to demonstrate, a nice piece of physical comedy.
Will Ferrell is also here to talk about the World Series as John Two Eagles Flying a Native American in full Indian garb. The World Series is between the Cleveland Indians and the Atlanta Braves and he's supposed to talk about their offensive logos but instead talks about how the Indians are a better team. It's revealed that he is not really a Native American but rather a loser Indians fan. The best part of the bit was when he chastises the Braves logo and then praises the great Chief Wahoo and when he said Greg Maddux run like homosexual deer.
"Wonder"
I did not own this album but I probably would have downloaded this song if Napster was a thing in 1995. I always enjoy empowering women music.
Surprise Party Discoveries
4 Stars
A group of friends discover embarrassing things about their buddy as they plan a party
Darrell Hammond leaves his house and through the window comes Schwimmer, Breuer, Meadows and Walls. They're setting up a surprise party and make a few discoveries. He has a Laura Branigan CD sitting on his coffee table, head lice medication, Dungeons & Dragons manuals, a toilet full of poo, VHS recordings of Charles In Charge and written letters to Urkel. They also find his diary where he laments not having the courage to mail his Urkel letters and then discover a blow up doll with Nancy Walls's face on it. Hammond comes back and they leave him to dance to Laura Branigan with his inflatable love doll. This was a very simple sketch that was executed beautifully.
Spade In America
Darrell Hammond leaves his house and through the window comes Schwimmer, Breuer, Meadows and Walls. They're setting up a surprise party and make a few discoveries. He has a Laura Branigan CD sitting on his coffee table, head lice medication, Dungeons & Dragons manuals, a toilet full of poo, VHS recordings of Charles In Charge and written letters to Urkel. They also find his diary where he laments not having the courage to mail his Urkel letters and then discover a blow up doll with Nancy Walls's face on it. Hammond comes back and they leave him to dance to Laura Branigan with his inflatable love doll. This was a very simple sketch that was executed beautifully.
Spade In America
1 Star
Spade and Jennifer Aniston do a 'Hollywood Minute'
All this segment is doing at this point is bringing down the episode's average. At least it's consistently bad though so every episode featuring Spade In America will be a little worse due to its presence. This one is a little better as Spade brings out Jennifer Aniston to talk about television. Roseanne throws temper tantrums, Extra and Entertainment Tonight are the same show, Friends is a ripoff of Seinfeld. The best joke was when he showed Aniston and Lisa Kudrow's 'Got Milk' ad and compared it to a Hustler shoot. Then Aniston berates him for being mean.
"Your jokes aren't funny "ha ha" they're more like you should have left with Farley and Sandler"
Such A Pretty Face
All this segment is doing at this point is bringing down the episode's average. At least it's consistently bad though so every episode featuring Spade In America will be a little worse due to its presence. This one is a little better as Spade brings out Jennifer Aniston to talk about television. Roseanne throws temper tantrums, Extra and Entertainment Tonight are the same show, Friends is a ripoff of Seinfeld. The best joke was when he showed Aniston and Lisa Kudrow's 'Got Milk' ad and compared it to a Hustler shoot. Then Aniston berates him for being mean.
"Your jokes aren't funny "ha ha" they're more like you should have left with Farley and Sandler"
Such A Pretty Face
1 Star
A skinny sales girl helps plus sized customers
Cheri Oteri is in a fat suit and Nancy Walls is the sales girl to help her. Walls doesn't normally work in the plus size department, she usually works in half shirts. Cheri is looking for a pair of corduroy pants which Nancy discourages against. Then she helps Mark McKinney in fat drag. She advises an A-line dress to keep the eyes focused at the face rather than the body. Then she fat shames Molly Shannon. Here's the problem with this sketch. Your main character is extremely unlikable and gets no comeuppance. The sketch is just Nancy Walls calling people fat. Comedy can come from a mean character but the mean person should be punished for their meanness. As the sketch stands now it almost presents Walls as the hero of the sketch. She's a skinny girl in a world of fat people and she's the underdog.
Natalie Merchant comes back to sing 'Carnival' which is another very listenable song. It doesn't make me want to rush out and buy the album but it does get my toes tapping.
Triumph Performers
Cheri Oteri is in a fat suit and Nancy Walls is the sales girl to help her. Walls doesn't normally work in the plus size department, she usually works in half shirts. Cheri is looking for a pair of corduroy pants which Nancy discourages against. Then she helps Mark McKinney in fat drag. She advises an A-line dress to keep the eyes focused at the face rather than the body. Then she fat shames Molly Shannon. Here's the problem with this sketch. Your main character is extremely unlikable and gets no comeuppance. The sketch is just Nancy Walls calling people fat. Comedy can come from a mean character but the mean person should be punished for their meanness. As the sketch stands now it almost presents Walls as the hero of the sketch. She's a skinny girl in a world of fat people and she's the underdog.
Natalie Merchant comes back to sing 'Carnival' which is another very listenable song. It doesn't make me want to rush out and buy the album but it does get my toes tapping.
Triumph Performers
4 Stars
A talk show about performers who triumphed over adversity
Nancy Walls hosts this show and her first guest is a mime paralyzed from the waist down.
"You ever hear the song 'Bad Bad Leroy Brown'? You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit in the wind, well it should also say you don't get drunk and break in the zoo looking for rough sex."
Ferrell as the mime does some mime with just his face. We then go to David Koechner who is a ventriloquist who was struck by lightning in the neck. He speaks through a voice box as does his puppet. Finally, Darrell Hammond is an impressionist with a badly scarred face. He does his Jay Leno impression but tells us to ignore his disfigurement. This is all slightly in bad taste but is funny and a good end of the night sketch.
FINAL ANALYSIS
Nancy Walls hosts this show and her first guest is a mime paralyzed from the waist down.
"You ever hear the song 'Bad Bad Leroy Brown'? You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit in the wind, well it should also say you don't get drunk and break in the zoo looking for rough sex."
Ferrell as the mime does some mime with just his face. We then go to David Koechner who is a ventriloquist who was struck by lightning in the neck. He speaks through a voice box as does his puppet. Finally, Darrell Hammond is an impressionist with a badly scarred face. He does his Jay Leno impression but tells us to ignore his disfigurement. This is all slightly in bad taste but is funny and a good end of the night sketch.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Memo to self: Cancel hang gliding with Gloria Estefan"
Before we say goodnight Schwimmer makes Cheri put a dollar in the swear jar
Average
Before we say goodnight Schwimmer makes Cheri put a dollar in the swear jar
Average
3 Stars
MVP
Darrell Hammond
Hootie's Million Man March, Surprise Party Discoveries, Triumph Performers
Hootie's Million Man March, Surprise Party Discoveries, Triumph Performers
Best Sketch
Surprise Party Discoveries
Worst Sketch
Such A Pretty Face
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
A Couple of placement issues occurred to me. Elevator is a silly sketch with a very limited premise and would have worked better later in the night. Similarly Surprise Party Discoveries would have worked very well before Update. I'm not sure why they keep putting Fuzzy Memories so early in the show, I would save these to the end where the show could use a silly boost.
Host Analysis
Schwimmer was used sparingly and mostly as a straight man hence he wasn't that memorable. He was fine and serviceable but absolutely nothing special.
Final Thoughts
Another middle of the road episode. Some things hit, some things missed but nothing that makes me think that the new cast is firing on all cylinders yet. There's also nothing that makes me want to stop watching.
Up Next
The comedy chops of Gabriel Byrne are on display. You ever watch Madigan Men, his ABC sitcom that only lasted 12 episodes? The guy is this centuries version of Jack Benny. There really needs to be an easy way to denote sarcasm in writing.
Been reading your reviews of all the SNL seasons,keep up the good work
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