“Big guy! I’m a big guy!”
Cold Open: Courthouse Address
1 Star
Chloe #2 talks about Trump’s something or other, then Trump comes out to a less than exuberant response. It had me thinking I’m not the only one sick of seeing this. He just rambles on stream of consciousness style. There’s nothing to latch on to. He references Lacey Chabert and gives a grim warning for 2024 that he’ll either be in jail, President, or purge. Strangely, this was so sad that it had no effect on me. I couldn’t be mad at it and in all honesty I peed through part of it.
Jacob Elordi Monologue
4 Stars
It’s the first show of 2024 and we’re doing a Questions from the Audience monologue. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about that but I ain’t mad. I’ll gladly take this over a boring monologue about Jacob Elordi’s humble upbringing. Look at me, Season 49 and I’m relishing a Q+A monologue, just another instance of SNL gaslighting me. We get some fun moments from Sarah and Bowen tracking how much applause they got which was a little odd as it was the first time I really noticed how strangely quiet the crowd was. They sat on their hands for Trump in the cold open and now here’s a super hunk hosting the first show of the year you’d think there’d be more hootin’ and hollerin’. Again, not complaining just observing.
Crown Your Short King
2 Stars
Bowen, Molly, and Marcello vie for Chloe #2’s affection but based on the title of this fake reality show I betcha I can guess what the punchline’s gonna be. Jacob comes in, towers over then, and she instantly chooses him and makes out with him. You gave away the game before the match started.
Club Shay Shay: The Extended Cut
3 Stars
Ego as Katt Williams says a bunch of random stuff. A sketch that only worked the week it was relevant. I can only imagine it was a slow news week but I do recall not being able to avoid clips of Katt Williams on any device connected to the internet in the first days of 2024. I like Ego in this but I’ve certainly seen better Katt Williams impressions.
Entertainment Tonight: Awards Season Special
3 Stars
Bowen and Jacob act as professional lip readers and make up nonsense as celebrities are talking. It feels like a Whose Line Is It Anyway? bit but it’s fun enough. I liked Jacob’s Travis Kelce impression but then they bring out their lesbian intern Renee and I had no idea who this was. Apparently this is the musical guest Renee Rapp which was news to me. She joins in on the bit too and doesn’t add or detract but I felt left out of the joke that she’s been “going off” during interviews. Kind of a weak ending too but provided some chuckles.
Bowling Pins
5 Stars
The animations while Jacob and Heidi are bowling get more and more absurd. From JAJ and Ego announcing their divorce to signal a split to Michael being told he can’t have children because of his “Stuck Ball”. Kinda weak ending but it built up enough goodwill before. I really liked this. It was conceptual, funny, relatable, involved the whole cast, and was something new.
Alaska Airlines
4 Stars
Alaska Airlines promotes the fact that nobody died in their latest disaster and the survivors have a cool story to tell. They’re also gonna tighten some of those bolts that hold the plane together. Cute and very fun visual of Andrew getting his shirt ripped off.
Renee Rapp
“Snow Angels”
I had no idea who this was but I really enjoyed this. She’s got some powerhouse vocals and it was backed up by some interesting staging.
Weekend Update
Tim Scott talks about his Trump endorsement and weird voice. Funny bit with a racist dog whistle working on Colin.
Deobra Redden is an inmate who jumped at a judge. They show the video which was nice because I was unfamiliar with this story and Punkie has some good lines about the lack of safety glass in courtrooms.
Women’s AA Meeting
1 Star
A women’s AA meeting won’t let Mikey in but they get all drooly for Jacob. He talks about all the sex he used to have when he was drunk and they get all horny. It’s a little reminiscent of the nun sketch from the Bad Bunny episode but not as fun. Punkie pulls her breasts out, so it’s got that going for it.
Renee Rapp
“Not My Fault”
Renee’s second song is introduced by Rachel McAdams for some reason. Then about halfway through the song I realized the Mean Girls connection. Megan Thee Stallion shows up, so it’s got that going for it.
Acting Class
1 Star
Jacob takes questions from an acting class but doesn’t know what auditions are or rejection is since he was discovered right as he got off the plane to LA. Nothing much going on here even with Rachel McAdams joining in as a girl whose career has been hurt due to looking exactly like Rachel McAdams. It’s weird, when Rachel introduced the musical guest I was thinking she should host but her role here as Natalie Partman left something to be desired. Plus, it felt thrown into the sketch.
Garrett From Hinge
3 Stars
I had to look up if Garrett from Hinge was a recurring character because he felt like one. I think I watched the Travis Kelce episode but I have no memory of him. He objects to Chloe’s marriage to Jacob because he hooked up with her once. This was silly and I liked it. His threats to kill them and his book of spells were fun. Nice way to end the night.
FINAL ANALYSIS
“You were saying something about giving women the dicking of a lifetime?”
Average
2.7 Stars
MVP
Bowen Yang
Monologue, Crown Your Short King, Entertainment Tonight: Awards Season Special, Bowling Pins, Alaska Airlines, Acting Class, Garrett From Hinge
Best Sketch
Bowling Pins
Worst Sketch
Women’s AA Meeting
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
For the sketches that were in this episode, I think this was the best order to put them in. The show slowly improved in quality during the first half then dipped during the second half but ended on a good note. Some better stuff would have been nice but for the first show of the year (with a semi-dud for a host) it wasn’t that bad.
Host Analysis
Semi-dud is probably appropriate. He didn’t detract from any sketches but he didn’t exactly add much either. He stayed in the lane of tall, handsome guy most of the night. I enjoyed him in the Entertainment Tonight sketch and Garrett from Hinge but it was kinda in a so-bad-it’s-good way.
Final Thoughts
I watched this one live by request from my wife. She saw that Jacob was hosting and we checked it out. I remember liking the bowling pin sketch and hating everything else but this was much more enjoyable the second time. Even though there’s some weak stuff in here I can’t say I hated anything. It may still be some good will built up from the last two episodes. I’ve been through so much at this point that mediocrity seems above average. That’s negative. This had some good stuff. Bowling pins, Bowen and Jacob’s weirdly fun chemistry, Renee Rapp, a good old fashioned monologue, and Punkie’s breasts. Is that worth Trump, Natalie Partman, and everything other than Punkie’s breasts in the AA sketch? Sure.
Up Next
Dakota Johnson returns to the show as does Justin Timberlake
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