“I crapped in a toilet and wrapped it in a bag”
Cold Open: 95th Annual Christmas Awards
4 Stars
Bowen and Heidi hand out awards for Most Disappointing Gift, Most Unwelcome Guest, and Most Dangerous Plug. We get to see a lot of the cast in this one, some just in small cameos but everyone gets a little something to do. It goes on a little long but it just may be, and I’d have to research to be sure, the best awards show sketch in SNL history. It had a clear premise, jokes, and no terrible celebrity impressions unless you count Marcello’s Mario Lopez but I appreciated it. Also, thank the heavens this isn’t a political cold open! I’ve been begging to not start the show on 7 minutes of Trump and I finally got it. I was ready for it too. I thought with Kate coming back we were gonna get a Hilary Clinton opener that I would have despised.
Kate McKinnon Monologue
Kate says she used to work here which instantly brought back memories of that terrible Bowen sketch from the season premiere. She plays a tiny piano and sings “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” with altered lyrics about coming back to host which I thought was really sweet. Then she talks about old friends and brings out Maya and Kristen. That’s when it turned a little sour. I can’t be the only person who thinks it weird that they’re hugging like people who were on the show together for more than 5 episodes. Then they read patter off cue cards. Their cameos felt unnecessary and random even though they’re both alums. Aidy and Cecily would have made a heck of a lot more sense although it would have been worse since we just had a decade of them and their lockers still smell like them.
North Pole News
I didn’t need a second dose of this. I feel like everyone still remembers the Eddie Murphy episode enough to see this as a pale imitation, but it’s not like that’s ever stopped SNL before. On its own it’s fine. Kate is fun as a Scottish elf who survived a killer whale attack and I liked the vomiting Skittles gag and screenshots of The Grinch’s shitposts. But it just had me thinking back to a sketch I liked better. If you want to bring back alums and Christmas themed sketches I wouldn’t have minded Kate joining in with Kenan and Vanessa’s horny elves.
Pongo!
Pongo is the perfect pet as he has no holes so there’s no mess, no bark, no bite, he doesn’t do anything other than stare, move silently around the house, and turn your family against you. Very nice transition from Christmas fun to horror and back again. Really enjoyed this one.
ABBA Christmas
I should absolutely hate this. It is pure Sonny & Cher cheeseball with an intense amount of mugging. But for some reason I was fine with it. Didn’t love it but found it pleasant. Damn Christmas. I think I would only accept this in a Christmas episode. Kate, Maya, Kristen, and Bowen all sing ABBA inspired Christmas songs into each other faces. It feels designed for giggles but I can’t say I hate it even though this sketch basically represents everything I hate about SNL. Damn Christmas.
Gifts From Mom
Kate plays a mom who apologizes and makes self-deprecating comments when handing out Christmas presents. Kate puts this one over. It’s one of those sketches where everyone sits down in a straight line (like you do at the holidays) and react to one crazy character but Kate’s fun enough to make it work. I also liked the second layer of Dad handing out backhanded presents to his future son-in-laws, a book on picking up women and a hat that says FML. There’s some funny lines in this one too it was just the stagnant staging and that feeling like you got the joke in the first 10 seconds and it just keeps going that was holding it back.
Tampon Farm
Maya and Kristen again? Once we got to the chorus I was glad they were there but not sure why they couldn’t include all the ladies. Paula Pell got to jam on the tampon farm but Sarah, Punkie, Troast, and Molly must not menstruate.
Billie Eilish
“What Was I Made For”
Weekend Update
Yankee Swap
A boogie woogie Santa is the hot ticket item at the yankee swap. Even Kenan wants it more than the cure for Sickle Cell Anemia. This was one that shocked me a little. I loved it but I was surprised to see such a dark premise wrapped up in a Christmas bow. Had me wondering if this would work with cancer or a made up disease that only affects 0.01% of men. Then it had me thinking about the racial aspects of it, especially when they point them out, and I was wondering if that was problematic. Then I was thinking too much that I was forgetting to laugh. So I watched this one again and thought it was hilarious. It’s just that SNL is usually pretty safe and you’re not expecting sketches about Sickle Cell. So when they come up you go, should we be going here?
Billie Eilish returns with “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” and again I was like, damn.
Cinema Classics: Meet Me In St. Louis
Reese De’What still doing the bad guesser bit. I wasn’t sure if they were bringing this back specifically for Kate or if it’s just a coincidence. It’s hard to tell seeing that they’ve been doing this sketch for 10 years but Kate didn’t start headlining them until the 5th one. I remember the first one was from the Season 39 premiere. Remember the fuss they made over John Milhiser and Brooks Wheelan? Speaking of one season wonders, Chloe gets another singing role but this is mostly about Kate as her daughter. I’ve seen Meet Me In St. Louis but don’t remember much about it so can’t say if this is referring to anything specific. These are alternate takes from the film, which isn’t how I remember this sketch working. I thought these were obscure movies instead of deleted scenes from famous movies but looking back on them it’s a mixture of both. All that said, this was weak. The director tells Kate that her dog died to induce some tears but it backfires as she loses control and starts crying, cursing, and fighting. Basically a sketch designed for a lot of screaming and flailing about.
Whiskers R’ We
It’s the 10-1 sketch and we’re finally getting a Kate recurring character. I just realized that sentence can be interpreted different ways. I’m not saying FINALLY we’re getting a recurring character, YAY! I’m just surprised that they showed such restraint. I was really expecting this episode to start with Alien Encounters and Debette Goldry, end with Sheila Sovage, and have Olya Povlatsky show up on Update. But here we are at the end of the night and we get Barbara DeDrew who is probably the only Kate character I don’t mind seeing come back. She’s joined by Billie Eilish, which is another sign of restraint as I thought we’d be seeing her pop up much earlier. Maybe that’s why they were saving it, they knew we all expected this. This is the main event. Sure, you come to see Hulk Hogan but you watch Tito Santana wrestle Mr. Perfect first. This is a fine appearance of the character. Part of me wanted them to go further with the fact that Billie was Barbara’s long lost daughter but the other part of me knows this sketch is all about cats, cat puns, and absurd one-liners.
FINAL ANALYSIS
“I still got the sickle cell cure right here”
Average
3.1 Stars
MVP
Kate dominated so it probably should be her but I’ll go with
Kenan Thompson
95th Annual Christmas Awards, Yankee Swap, Cinema Classics: Meet Me In St. Louis
His reaction to Boogie Woogie Santa was priceless and Reese De’What usually provides at least a smile
Best Sketch
Yankee Swap
Worst Sketch
Cinema Classics: Meet Me In St. Louis
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
Cut Kristen and Maya out of the monologue and include everyone in Tampon Farm. This show had a nice flow and thank you so much for not making this just a Best Of Kate McKinnon episode.
Host Analysis
I was pleasantly surprised. She felt right at home as the host because that’s kind of the role she had when she was a cast member. There’s not many people who could have done it but if they wanted to do a Season 8 Eddie Murphy style episode with Kate as host I don’t think it wouldn’t feel that bizarre. She was definitely bigger than the show by the time she left. And I’m sure I’ll talk about this again but I am so thankful that she was in original sketches instead of retreads from past seasons (that like just aired). She’s a great sketch performer and I liked seeing her in North Pole News even if the sketch was a repeat. I liked her as the mom in the gifts sketch, she played a good straight man in Yankee Swap, and sounded good in Tampon Farm. I’m glad I got to see that rather than something I’ve seen a dozen times before.
Final Thoughts
I was not looking forward to this at all. I remember Kristen coming back to host and getting Garth & Kat, Target Lady, Dooneese, and even the friggin’ Californians. So I wasn’t anticipating a lot of sketches from someone whose ass groove is still dented in a makeup chair. This was good and Billie Eilish added a lot to that. Plus I seem to always be a sucker for a Christmas episode. I don’t know why. I don’t particularly like Christmas, I’m not a fan of Christmas movies, music or decoration but for some reason an SNL episode with a holiday feel is so comforting to me. Maybe this old grinch’s heart just grew a few sizes today but I enjoyed this. Now with this new positive attitude, and two solid shows in a row, let’s move onto the new year with a little hope.
Up Next
We head into 2024 with Jacob Elordi and Renee Rapp
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