Tom Hanks has hosted SNL 9 times. I'm not counting the SNL At Home episode from 2020 for a few reasons. One, I don't think you can count him as a host just because he did a monologue. Two, I don't know how I would rank that episode against the rest of this batch. So let's just say that's an honorable mention. Tom's episodes were fun to revisit. He's got some true classics in there, some really good episodes, and some lackluster ones but nothing bad. Now that I've covered all of them, let's rank these suckers.
#9
Season 31 Episode 17
Tom Hanks / Red Hot Chili Peppers
Sketch Average: 2.8 Stars
“Worst” is the wrong word for this episode. We could go with “least good” or “most disappointing” instead. After a 10 year absence, Tom comes back with his Da Vinci Code haircut and the results are just a bit on the weak side. It does have a great 10-1 sketch involving Tennis Players with a varied number of arms and a fun sketch where Rachel Dratch is forced to share her yoga mat with a very sweaty Tom. But the rest? Colin’s Place with Kenan as Colin Powell as Fred Sanford is a sketch that still confuses me. There’s a sketch where Tom and Fred Armisen keep calling for their “Ma” at Universal Theme Park which is repetitive and unfunny. Then some unmemorable stuff like Tom hosting Wheel Of Fortune with dumb contestants, a Digital Short about testicles, and Kaitlin gets an iguana. Actually, maybe “worst” is more than a fair term. I would call every other episode on this list good, this episode is a little sucky.
Hanks returned to SNL after 4 years, 2 Oscars, and a few 100 million dollar movies. Or as he calls it, “staying away like the plague while the show sucked”. Tom must have seen some writing on the walls because he skipped 4 seasons that most consider weak and came back to host the season premiere with the new guys of Ferrell, Kattan, Shannon, Oteri, et al. This one isn't so much good but it is interesting. It's like a time capsule for the early seasons of the new cast which means it's a bunch of stuff you've seen a hundred times just with Tom Hanks in the middle. He bobs his head with The Roxbury Guys, he gives some spiritual advice to The Cheerleaders, he gets interviewed by Goat Boy, and he lets Mr. Peepers crawl all over him. This does have the debut of The Ambiguously Gay Duo plus Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers as well as a fun sketch with Tom and Tim Meadows going over a Creativity Test. Again, not great, but if you wanted to see Seasons 21-23 in one episode this is a perfect one to check out.
Another season premiere for Tom and again it feels a bit like a "best of" compilation. We get our 6th Hans & Franz, our 2nd Girl Watchers, our 16th(!?!) The Pat Stevens Show, but we get the debut of Mr. Short-Term Memory. It's also the first (or many) debate sketch since the 70's with Jon's Michael Dukakis squaring off against Dana's George Bush. Plus you get First Citiwide Change Bank with Jim Downey outlining how many different ways you can break a dollar. Keith Richards doesn't add much nor does Jew, Not A Jew a game show which makes a funnier title than it does a sketch. Tom shows some outtakes from Big where his character stayed in middle school and bullies children, which is fun. Not a great episode but, much like the Season 22 premiere, if you're looking for an episode that basically shows you what Seasons 12 and 13 were like then this is worth watching.
Two words, one letter, David S. Pumpkins. Any questions? This also has Black Jeopardy! with Tom as a Trump supporter finding common ground with contestants on a black game show. Lady Gaga brings the house down in both of her performances. That alone probably makes you remember it as a good one, but you probably forgot about everything else in the show. Nothing is really bad though, just not that memorable when compared to the high highs. A Girl's Halloween shows both the start and end of a rough night for a trio of ladies. Tom reprises his role of Sully with a new co-captain played by Alec Baldwin. Speaking of Alec, this starts with a Trump/Clinton debate moderated by Tom. There's also Tom as Ron Howard hosting America's Funniest Pets and a sketch where Tom, Cecily, and Melissa Villasenor sing a Halloween song about witches and vampires falling in love. But you were so in the weeds with David Pumpkins you all but forgot about that, didn't you?
#5
Season 11 Episode 5
Tom Hanks / Sade
Sketch Average: 3.4 Stars
Tom's first episode was in the dismal Season 11, a season so bad it almost got the show cancelled. So how does it land so high on this list? Well, everything pretty much works. Tom instantly comes off as a great host and has no jitters in sight. He blends in with the cast seamlessly (as he always does) and I would argue that the first handful of episodes of this season are decent to good (although the wheels come off the bus shortly thereafter). Tom gets his first "Live from New York..." as host of Entertainment Tonight, he plays the brother of Tommy Flanagan who is also a liar, he plays one of the Stand-Ups which he would reprise in his Season 13 episode, he shares a Fantasy with his wife, Joan Cusack, about how she dies and he romances their new nanny, and our contractually obligated The Pat Stevens Show sketch isn't even that bad as Damon Wayans gets some laughs as Louis Farrakhan. There's also a set from Steven Wright and Sade brings her sultry voice to the show. The only stinker is the last sketch where Tom and Randy Quaid play Fishermen, a sketch that's really only fun when Randy's mustache starts falling off. Add it all up and this is probably the strongest episode of a stinker season.
#4
Season 16 Episode 8
Tom Hanks / Edie Brickell & New Bohemians
Sketch Average: 3.4 Stars
Now we're getting into classic territory. If this were a list of best monologues this would be number 1 as this gave us The 5-Timer's Club so we get cameos from Steve Martin, Paul Simon, Elliott Gould, and Ralph Nader to open the show. We also get the 3rd appearance of Mr. Short-Term Memory which might be my favorite (a Tony Randall cameo certainly helps) plus Dana and Tom take part in a Dennis Miller trio. Then there's good stuff like Gross-Out Family where a family takes turns sniffing spoiled milk and cat poop and The Global Warming Christmas Special hosted by Mike Myers as Carl Sagan. The only stinker for me is Sabra Shopping Network which I know works for some but never hit for me. This one ends with A. Whitney Brown delivering a Christmas Message and, I can't believe I'm saying this but, it's actually funny.
#3
Season 13 Episode 12
Tom Hanks / Randy Travis
Sketch Average: 3.5 Stars
Tom's second outing is pure silliness. The cold open is Tom ice skating while dressed as a cowboy and the lead-off sketch is Phil as a Giant Businessman. Then we go to The Bean Cafe where there's a certain smell in the air...the smell of delicious beans. 1st appearance of Girl Watchers, 3rd appearance of Stand-Ups, Dana as Casey Kasem Sings The Beatles, a sketch where Phil runs a Sentimental Value Pawn Shop, and a sketch where Tom plays a doctor giving mixed singles in a Delivery Room. We get the 13th appearance of The Pat Stevens Show and surprisingly it's not a momentum killer. Not even Pat Stevens herself can ruin this episode. Randy Travis is also a good musical guest, which was a surprise to me as I'm usually not a country music fan.
Tom and Bruce Springsteen, who would coincidentally both win Oscars for the same movie 2 years later, take on the first show after the L.A. Riots. I thought this might be number 1 but the next one is a contender for greatest of all time. This one is damn near classic though. It starts with the debut of Dana as Ross Perot then we get a monologue with Tom doing Goodfellas as he was a replacement host for Joe Pesci. Then we get one of my favorite sketches of all time in Mr. Belvedere Fan Club. There’s also Julia Sweeney in She Turned Into Her Mother!, a visit with Nat X interviewing the jury who acquitted the cops who beat up Rodney King, and a 10-1 sketch sponsored by Nice Ass, Baby pantyhose. The only dud is Sabra Price Is Right but I understand that has its fans.
#1
Season 15 Episode 13
Tom Hanks / Aerosmith
Sketch Average: 4 Stars
And here’s the one I think most people remember. It starts with a Donald Trump cold open (because no episode can be perfect) but after that you got nothing but hits. Tom dies in his monologue and is visited by Abe Lincoln (who calls him a pussy), Jan promotes a Russian McDonald’s, Aerosmith shows up on Wayne’s World (sibilance), Tales Of Ribaldry, the 2nd appearance of Mr. Short-Term Memory, the 3rd Girl Watchers, and Phil closes it with a hilarious Andy Rooney commentary. When the weakest thing in the show is a 10 second commercial runner for Jensen Syringe Company, you know you got a winner.
Total Sketch Average
3.3 Stars
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