"Each dong is like a snowflake except it’s like a dong”
Cold Open: GM Hearings
4 Stars
A spokeswoman for GM dodges all questions
Kate plays the GM spokeswoman who is testifying in front of congress due to a faulty ignition switch. I don't recall the real story this is based on but it doesn't matter because what this cold open does effectively is have a clear joke premise instead of just relying on the fact that you may have seen the actual woman on C-SPAN and directly referencing things she actually said. I shouldn't have to praise the fact that they did this but all too often SNL cold opens just mimic things that actually happened. Comedy should be universal and you shouldn't have to know the reference to get the joke. I call this the Friedberg/Seltzer conundrum. If you're unfamiliar with these two, they are the fellas who made Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, etc.. Their comedy is simply "Remember that thing from that movie? Well we're gonna do that but someone is going to fart". Compare that to a film like Airplane! which is a direct spoof of the film Zero Hour. You don't need to have seen or heard of that film to find Airplane! funny because the jokes stand on their own. Kate answers every question with "We're looking into it" or "pass" until her excuses get more elaborate like rolling away on her chair, putting on a fake mustache or saying "Live from New York...", the latter is halted by Taran in a very funny break to the cold open format.
Anna Kendrick Monologue
2 Stars
Anna and the cast sing a Beauty And The Beast style opening
Anna mentions that she got her start in musical theater (which will be a common theme throughout the show) and launches into Belle from Beauty And The Beast with altered lyrics about SNL. She talks to some of the cast and we get a Lorne Michaels cameo. I thought Anna was cute as a button and I always enjoy seeing the studio but comedy wise this was pretty meh.
FOX And Friends
Kate plays the GM spokeswoman who is testifying in front of congress due to a faulty ignition switch. I don't recall the real story this is based on but it doesn't matter because what this cold open does effectively is have a clear joke premise instead of just relying on the fact that you may have seen the actual woman on C-SPAN and directly referencing things she actually said. I shouldn't have to praise the fact that they did this but all too often SNL cold opens just mimic things that actually happened. Comedy should be universal and you shouldn't have to know the reference to get the joke. I call this the Friedberg/Seltzer conundrum. If you're unfamiliar with these two, they are the fellas who made Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, etc.. Their comedy is simply "Remember that thing from that movie? Well we're gonna do that but someone is going to fart". Compare that to a film like Airplane! which is a direct spoof of the film Zero Hour. You don't need to have seen or heard of that film to find Airplane! funny because the jokes stand on their own. Kate answers every question with "We're looking into it" or "pass" until her excuses get more elaborate like rolling away on her chair, putting on a fake mustache or saying "Live from New York...", the latter is halted by Taran in a very funny break to the cold open format.
Anna Kendrick Monologue
2 Stars
Anna and the cast sing a Beauty And The Beast style opening
Anna mentions that she got her start in musical theater (which will be a common theme throughout the show) and launches into Belle from Beauty And The Beast with altered lyrics about SNL. She talks to some of the cast and we get a Lorne Michaels cameo. I thought Anna was cute as a button and I always enjoy seeing the studio but comedy wise this was pretty meh.
FOX And Friends
3 Stars
The uneducated hosts talk about Obamacare
Weird seeing this not as a cold open. Bobby’s stupid face is cracking me up, not too sure about Kenan’s Neil Degrasse Tyson impression though. Vanessa blaming her husband’s bizarre sexual perversions on Obamacare was really funny. And we get the usual scroll of corrections including ‘Pop Tarts do not cause “splosions”’ and ‘Ukraine was not Fraiser’s brother’. Awkward ending though as it seems like it should end with “Live from New York...”.
Dongs All Over The World
5 Stars
International nasty girls hunt the globe for dongs
A sister sketch to Do It On My Twin Bed, the girls and the host sing a song about looking for dongs. Anna’s verse was probably my favorite as she goes over her dong itinerary but the MVP was Aidy who really takes charge in this and has the best moment when the song stops and she politely describes her mission to a woman on the plane. I think this cements the fact that Noel won’t be around next season. Here’s my impression of Noel when she found out she was the only female cast member not in this.
"Hey, you know how every woman in the cast is in this?"
"Yeah"
"Do you think I could have a verse about how much I like dongs?"
"Oh...well...you see...we already have Anna and Sasheer, so..."
"You can't write me some lines about dongs?"
"Sorry, our hands are tied on this one. Maybe next week though. Why don't you take this ball and go bounce it with John Milhiser over there in the corner?"
"Yeah"
"Do you think I could have a verse about how much I like dongs?"
"Oh...well...you see...we already have Anna and Sasheer, so..."
"You can't write me some lines about dongs?"
"Sorry, our hands are tied on this one. Maybe next week though. Why don't you take this ball and go bounce it with John Milhiser over there in the corner?"
The Little Mermaid
2 Stars
Ariel sings pop songs to show off her beautiful voice
Ariel is about to make a deal with Ursula, her voice for a pair of legs. To prove how good a singer she is she sings some Ke$ha. Britney Spears and Selena Gomez. An Ashlee Simpson moment at the beginning where the wrong song is played was the most interesting part of this one. I was more interested in the sets and costumes than the comedy.
Flirty
5 Stars
Awkward flirting in an apartment building
This one is hard to describe but I loved it. Kyle and Vanessa (who have phenomenal chemistry, something the show should have taken advantage of) have a collection of meet cutes as they run into each other bringing home groceries, washing poop stains out of their underwear, and before having sex with another guy. The subtle performances within the absurd situations make this an instant classic.
Pharrell Williams
"Happy"
"Happy"
Pharrell, his hat, and a bunch of dancers perform the song you would hear 7 times a day whether you wanted to or not. It’s a fun performance of a damn catchy song and the solos of the young dancers brought a nice energy.
Weekend Update
Either they have the applause sign lit up to the max today or they are using a laugh track. The crowd laughs uproariously right on cue at the punchlines. It’s to the point where I can’t believe the audience knows exactly when to laugh. A far cry from the Norm MacDonald era where some jokes would fall to dead silence only to later get a response. I mention that because I have little to say about the 3 desk pieces we get this week. First is Angela Merkel which follows the same beats we’ve seen before. She’s a cold and lonely woman who secretly longs for boob touches.
Then Brooks Wheelan proves that he is still a cast member by doing a bit that is obviously from his standup act. He talks about a time he passed out drunk and his friends put butter down his pants. He’s definitely a good storyteller and a funny guy but he comes off a little awkward. That could be because he’s sitting next to Colin Jost. Both of these guys look like this is their first time on TV.
Finally Game Of Thrones author George R. R. Martin comes out to talk about how hard it is to finish his books. He’s been getting distracted writing Game Of Thrones fan fiction where he is the main character. The best part about this for me was seeing Bobby’s fake beard desperately trying to hang on to his face.
Les Jeunes De Paris
4 Stars
French teens dance
I always enjoyed these as they are both fun and energetic but also a showcase for live choreography. This one basically runs through all things French as they eat frog legs, make out with Marie Antoinette, Madeline and Jean-Luc Picard walk by as well as Chris Tucker from The Fifth Element. Was that character French? I’ve never seen that movie. Some very impressive dance moves from Taran and Anna.
Field Trip
2 Stars
Students heckle a zookeeper
There’s just certain sketches that make me roll my eyes as soon as they start. I liked this the first time I saw it but it just feels lazier and lazier the more they do it. It’s a shame since Anna is doing some good work here when she’s slowly losing confidence speaking in front of high school kids shouting obscenities at her. It’s not a terrible sketch it’s just a rerun of the last one. An awkward ending doesn’t help much as they just fade out. Like they were told to vamp until commercial cut them off.
Pharrell Williams returns with "Marilyn Monroe" and he brought along Hans Zimmer to conduct a string section.
Big Joe
Big Joe
1 Star
Big Joe fails to lift rocks
Bobby is trapped under a pile of rocks and Taran comes out as Big Joe. He unfortunately can’t lift any of the rock even though other smaller people have no issues. This was a big waste of time for me. I want to go further into detail as why I didn’t care for this but that would involve me thinking about Big Joe for more than I want to.
Audition
3 Stars
Sisters audition for Pharrell
Vanessa and Anna sing Take Me Or Leave Me from Rent for Pharrell. The bit is that Vanessa is a much worse singer than Anna but they have marketed themselves as a package deal. I actually didn’t think Vanessa sounded too bad in this and this same joke worked a little better in the Bruce Willis monologue from this season. Still, both Anna and Vanessa are so charming that it’s hard to like this.
NCAA Tourney Best Of The White Guys
3 Stars
A video set that highlights white basketball players
A quick little bit highlighting the white basketball players who aren’t as good but can sometimes hit a three-pointer.
"I feel like I always have poop on my underwear”
Average
3 Stars
MVP
Vanessa Bayer
Monologue, Fox And Friends, Dongs All Over The World, Flirty, Les Jeunes De Paris, Field Trip, Audition
Monologue, Fox And Friends, Dongs All Over The World, Flirty, Les Jeunes De Paris, Field Trip, Audition
Best Sketch
Flirty
Worst Sketch
Big Joe
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
Fox And Friends should be the cold open. It was just weird seeing it after the monologue, like if George Bush addressed the nation post Update. It just doesn’t feel right. There’s a time and a place for this sketch. Weekend Update was way too long. I would cut both Angela Merkel and George R. R. Martin. I would also swap Field Trip with Flirty. Having two recurring sketches back to back after Update just felt lazy and tired.
Host Analysis
Anna was a pure delight. While she didn’t display a huge amount of range she performed admirably in everything they gave her, which was a lot of singing. This is one where I think the writers pigeonholed her into the parts she knew she could play which is a safe bet but can make for an episode that while good isn’t worth getting excited for.
Final Thoughts
A lot of recurring bits and musical numbers in this one keep it from becoming a classic but it’s definitely enjoyable. Especially when you include the two pre-filmed bits which rank up there with the best of the season. Anna also makes a pleasant host. She was a ball of energy and committed to all her characters. Cut out Big Joe and trim Weekend Update and you got an all around fun show. Good luck watching this on Hulu or NBC.com though. All the musical sketches are gone for copyright reasons I’m assuming leaving only the stuff you’ve seen before and Big Joe. But if you can find the live version online it’s worth a watch.
Up Next
Seth Rogen hosts and if memory serves me correctly, a lot of the sketches are about weed.
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