"I think I just dribbled my drawers"
Cold Open: Hardball
Cold Open: Hardball
2 Stars
Chris Matthews interviews some possible democratic nominees
The story this week is that Al Gore has officially endorsed Howard Dean for president despite his former running mate Joe Lieberman being in the race. Chris Matthews interviews Joe who says that not only did his friend endorse his rival but his wife has endorsed Wesley Clarke and his rabbi has endorsed Al Sharpton. Chris then turns to Hilary Clinton who has not yet officially announced her candidacy but has been teasing it.
"I am absolutely positively beyond the shadow of a doubt not running for president, probably."
Then Chris interviews Carol Moseley Braun (Kenan in a dress) and tells her that she has no chance of being elected. Political talking heads cold open, too topical to still be funny but probably wasn't that great in the first place.
Elijah Wood Monologue
The story this week is that Al Gore has officially endorsed Howard Dean for president despite his former running mate Joe Lieberman being in the race. Chris Matthews interviews Joe who says that not only did his friend endorse his rival but his wife has endorsed Wesley Clarke and his rabbi has endorsed Al Sharpton. Chris then turns to Hilary Clinton who has not yet officially announced her candidacy but has been teasing it.
"I am absolutely positively beyond the shadow of a doubt not running for president, probably."
Then Chris interviews Carol Moseley Braun (Kenan in a dress) and tells her that she has no chance of being elected. Political talking heads cold open, too topical to still be funny but probably wasn't that great in the first place.
Elijah Wood Monologue
3 Stars
Elijah gets interrupted by Gollum during his monologue
Chris Kattan seems to be going for that Jon Lovitz award, where it's a little sad that you keep coming back. He had 8 years on the show and comes back to play Gelman in a Regis and Kelly sketch and now he's here as Gollum. He's here to help Elijah with his monologue but his altar ego keeps coming out.
"Gollum loves the Saturday Night Lives. No! Gollum hates the Saturday Night Lives. Sketches go on way too long and never have endings. But such a talented cast. No! Everyone knows the show has been sucking wind ever since Chris Kattan left."
Then Gollum wants to show a clip from his and Elijah's new sitcom pilot, "A Hard Hobbit To Break". We get a parody of a crappy 80s sitcom where we see the two playing video games, opening doors into each other and roller skating through the living room. George Carlin plays the voice of their dog.
Boys Choir
Chris Kattan seems to be going for that Jon Lovitz award, where it's a little sad that you keep coming back. He had 8 years on the show and comes back to play Gelman in a Regis and Kelly sketch and now he's here as Gollum. He's here to help Elijah with his monologue but his altar ego keeps coming out.
"Gollum loves the Saturday Night Lives. No! Gollum hates the Saturday Night Lives. Sketches go on way too long and never have endings. But such a talented cast. No! Everyone knows the show has been sucking wind ever since Chris Kattan left."
Then Gollum wants to show a clip from his and Elijah's new sitcom pilot, "A Hard Hobbit To Break". We get a parody of a crappy 80s sitcom where we see the two playing video games, opening doors into each other and roller skating through the living room. George Carlin plays the voice of their dog.
Boys Choir
2 Stars
3 choir boys compete as to who has the higher voice
Will, Jimmy and Elijah are all part of a boy's choir. During a rendition of Silent Night they each show off their exceptionally high voices. Will demonstrates "the dog whistle" which results in dogs barking and Elijah is able to break glass with his high voice. Eventually, Elijah's voice changes and the other two punch him in the testicles to help him out. Not a good start at all, other than to show off Will's oddly beautiful falsetto.
Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
Will, Jimmy and Elijah are all part of a boy's choir. During a rendition of Silent Night they each show off their exceptionally high voices. Will demonstrates "the dog whistle" which results in dogs barking and Elijah is able to break glass with his high voice. Eventually, Elijah's voice changes and the other two punch him in the testicles to help him out. Not a good start at all, other than to show off Will's oddly beautiful falsetto.
Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
2 Stars
The fab five make over Santa
The guys from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy visit the North Pole. They redo his wardrobe, shave his beard and teach him the importance of eye contact. Mrs. Claus is pleased with the new look. Not a fan of this one either. I like how Queer Eye For The Straight Guy helped a lot in getting LGBT people represented in the media but it also just provided comedy shows more excuses to make jokes about gay people.
Fun With Real Audio
The guys from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy visit the North Pole. They redo his wardrobe, shave his beard and teach him the importance of eye contact. Mrs. Claus is pleased with the new look. Not a fan of this one either. I like how Queer Eye For The Straight Guy helped a lot in getting LGBT people represented in the media but it also just provided comedy shows more excuses to make jokes about gay people.
Fun With Real Audio
3 Stars
George W. Bush makes speeches to different groups
We open with Bush on the aircraft carrier in front of the "Mission Accomplished" banner. Then we see him dressed as a pilgrim giving a Thanksgiving speech, wearing a hardhat talking to construction workers, talking to seniors while using a walker, dressed as Mr. Spock speaking to NASA, in a tree costume speaking about the healthy forest initiative and then as an ape talking to an African nation. He gets groomed and humped by another ape then lights the White House Christmas tree dressed as Jesus.
Wake Up Wakefield!
We open with Bush on the aircraft carrier in front of the "Mission Accomplished" banner. Then we see him dressed as a pilgrim giving a Thanksgiving speech, wearing a hardhat talking to construction workers, talking to seniors while using a walker, dressed as Mr. Spock speaking to NASA, in a tree costume speaking about the healthy forest initiative and then as an ape talking to an African nation. He gets groomed and humped by another ape then lights the White House Christmas tree dressed as Jesus.
Wake Up Wakefield!
3 Stars
A middle school morning announcement program talks about music
It's music day at Wakefield middle school and hosts Megan and Sheldon have polled the student body to find out everyone's favorite bands. 177 kids said Eminem, Fountains Of Wayne got 164 votes, Clay Aiken got 97 (10 of those not coming from Megan), the school's jazz band, Jazz Times Ten, got 6 votes (coincidentally there are 6 members of the band) and 1 vote went to Yo Yo Ma. Their guest today is the lead trumpet player from Jazz Times Ten. Megan starts to develop a crush on him when he starts singing Clay Aiken. Maya and Rachel pull of awkward comedy very well, even though sometimes it is more awkward than funny. My favorite moment of this sketch came from Horatio when he came out as the principal and advised students to clean out their desks before break. He says that last year he came back to a desk full of mouse poop when he left out a plate of lasagna, they weren't chocolate sprinkles and made him sick. Then he pops and locks out of frame.
Jet
"Are You Gonna Be My Girl"
It's music day at Wakefield middle school and hosts Megan and Sheldon have polled the student body to find out everyone's favorite bands. 177 kids said Eminem, Fountains Of Wayne got 164 votes, Clay Aiken got 97 (10 of those not coming from Megan), the school's jazz band, Jazz Times Ten, got 6 votes (coincidentally there are 6 members of the band) and 1 vote went to Yo Yo Ma. Their guest today is the lead trumpet player from Jazz Times Ten. Megan starts to develop a crush on him when he starts singing Clay Aiken. Maya and Rachel pull of awkward comedy very well, even though sometimes it is more awkward than funny. My favorite moment of this sketch came from Horatio when he came out as the principal and advised students to clean out their desks before break. He says that last year he came back to a desk full of mouse poop when he left out a plate of lasagna, they weren't chocolate sprinkles and made him sick. Then he pops and locks out of frame.
Jet
"Are You Gonna Be My Girl"
A hard rocking band that seems to enjoy rocking, can't argue much about this at all.
Weekend Update
Weekend Update
"Ashton Kutcher is ending his series, "Punk'd". More bad news for anyone upset by this, you're a moron."
There was really nothing much going on this week. Best bit was about the FDA deciding on whether the morning after pill could be sold over the counter next week. This prompted Jimmy and Tina to dramatically discuss what they are to do about their pregnancy. Worst bit came from Jimmy Fallon's "That's What You Did" segment where he reads a story about a riot started after the wrong dwarf comedy duo performed in Sierra Leone. He just repeats the story back and says, "That's what you did".
Hey, did you know Jimmy plays guitar? He comes out as John Mayer to sing a song but only says "blah blah blah". This was the right kind of stupid and silly.
Whitney Houston and her daughter Bobbi Christina (Kenan in a dress on his knees) come out to sing Little Drummer Boy. While Bobbi Christina sings, Whitney gets into the music eventually taking over the song herself. Then Bobby Brown comes out but has to stay behind the Update desk due to a restraining order.
Versace Egg Nog
Versace Egg Nog
1 Star
Donatella Versace has her own brand of egg nog
Looking for something to put your booze in this Christmas? How about egg nog from Donatella Versace? The only egg nog infused with self tanner and nicotine. Donatella brings out her friend Boy George (Elijah) to sing a song about it which he does set to the tunes of Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?, I'll Tumble 4 Ya and Karma Chameleon. Then Horatio comes out as Rosie O'Donnell looks insanely lost on the cue cards and pours a bottle of egg nog on himself to look like a big fat slob. Nothing about this worked for me and I just have to ask, was Donatella Versace ever a popular enough personality to warrant a recurring sketch on SNL?
Howard Dean For America
Looking for something to put your booze in this Christmas? How about egg nog from Donatella Versace? The only egg nog infused with self tanner and nicotine. Donatella brings out her friend Boy George (Elijah) to sing a song about it which he does set to the tunes of Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?, I'll Tumble 4 Ya and Karma Chameleon. Then Horatio comes out as Rosie O'Donnell looks insanely lost on the cue cards and pours a bottle of egg nog on himself to look like a big fat slob. Nothing about this worked for me and I just have to ask, was Donatella Versace ever a popular enough personality to warrant a recurring sketch on SNL?
Howard Dean For America
2 Stars
Al Gore speaks the praises of Howard Dean
Al Gore says that we are a nation in crisis and are doomed unless we get a new president in 2004. He is officially endorsing Howard Dean for president and says that George W. Bush is the worst world leader of any nation on Earth going back 500 years. Dean asks where Hitler ranks on that list and he's number 3, Pol Pot is number 6. Then Gore says a bunch of politically unpopular things like the military is incompetent and cowardly losers, making gay marriage a national policy and calls for a massive tax increase. Dean doesn't think any of this is helping his cause. Not that funny but interesting to look back on 15 years later. Isn't it crazy that this guy thought he could be president with his wacky ideas that gay people can get married and we shouldn't go to war under false pretenses. What a loon.
The Rialto Grande
Al Gore says that we are a nation in crisis and are doomed unless we get a new president in 2004. He is officially endorsing Howard Dean for president and says that George W. Bush is the worst world leader of any nation on Earth going back 500 years. Dean asks where Hitler ranks on that list and he's number 3, Pol Pot is number 6. Then Gore says a bunch of politically unpopular things like the military is incompetent and cowardly losers, making gay marriage a national policy and calls for a massive tax increase. Dean doesn't think any of this is helping his cause. Not that funny but interesting to look back on 15 years later. Isn't it crazy that this guy thought he could be president with his wacky ideas that gay people can get married and we shouldn't go to war under false pretenses. What a loon.
The Rialto Grande
2 Stars
Buddy Mills has a heart to heart with a fellow comedian
We're ending with a Chris Kattan piece? Having not seen the show in a few seasons, I am unfamiliar with Buddy Mills. Checked the SNL Archives and this is his 5th appearance, all in this calendar year. He's an old comedian with an even older drummer (Fred) who can't seem to get the timing right on the rim shots. He sits down and talks with Elijah who comes out with the sleeves rolled up on his sports coat, emulating a cheesy 80s stand-up comedian. When the subject of parents comes up, Elijah breaks down in tears. He never knew his dad and his mom took off when he was 16. So this chat between two comics turns into a Barbara Walters style interview. Buddy offers to be the dad he never had and we end the piece with Buddy, Elijah and the wait staff singing Jingle Bell Rock.
Jet returns to sing Look What You've Done which is a song I've always liked that reminds me of something The Beatles or Oasis would have recorded.
We're ending with a Chris Kattan piece? Having not seen the show in a few seasons, I am unfamiliar with Buddy Mills. Checked the SNL Archives and this is his 5th appearance, all in this calendar year. He's an old comedian with an even older drummer (Fred) who can't seem to get the timing right on the rim shots. He sits down and talks with Elijah who comes out with the sleeves rolled up on his sports coat, emulating a cheesy 80s stand-up comedian. When the subject of parents comes up, Elijah breaks down in tears. He never knew his dad and his mom took off when he was 16. So this chat between two comics turns into a Barbara Walters style interview. Buddy offers to be the dad he never had and we end the piece with Buddy, Elijah and the wait staff singing Jingle Bell Rock.
Jet returns to sing Look What You've Done which is a song I've always liked that reminds me of something The Beatles or Oasis would have recorded.
No official 10-1 sketch as is the custom sometimes with our Christmas episode. During the last musical number, the cast head out to the ice rink to skate around during the closing credits. Jet waved goodbye from home base alone.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"A clown's sad face is just painted on but when you take the makeup off, that clown is just sad"
Average
2.2 Stars
MVP
Maya Rudolph
Wake Up Wakefield, Weekend Update, Versace Egg Nog, The Rialto Grande
Wake Up Wakefield, Weekend Update, Versace Egg Nog, The Rialto Grande
Best Sketch
Wake Up Wakefield
Worst Sketch
Versace Egg Nog
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
This episode felt really light, especially after Update. We got a Versace commercial, a quick Gore and Dean talk straight to the camera piece and a Chris Kattan sketch. We need something in that back half, maybe the Fun With Real Audio. I'm gonna start with Wake Up Wakefield, then Queer Eye then Howard Dean. Musical guest, Update, Buddy Mills, Fun With Real Audio, Versace, Boys Choir. I didn't like that we ended with Chris Kattan seeing as how he's not on the show anymore. I didn't like having it in the episode at all but that's not what this section is for.
Host Analysis
I want to say he was fine but the writing was weak but looking over the sketches, I didn't like him in anything. I didn't like his choir boy, gay guy, band hipster, Boy George or stand-up comic. I guess he introduced Jet adequately but that is about all the praise I can heap on him.
Final Thoughts
These first crop of episodes from this season have been on the weak side. I think I found what's missing. This cast has a lot of people but nobody that I can call my favorite. It's been hard picking MVPs for individual episodes because most times, everybody gets one sketch. If I had to pick a favorite it would probably be Chris Parnell but he's more of a supporting player than a star. There's nobody here that is consistently great the way Will Ferrell was. You could put him in any sketch and he could save it. They seem to be giving the ball to Horatio a lot but he's either gut-bustingly funny or too loud and kind of sad.
Up Next
A new year, 2004, hopefully we get some better episodes and Jennifer Aniston as host has me hopeful.
Seeing the Whitney and her daughter piece made me sad
ReplyDeleteMe too. Eerie coincidence that Maya Rudolph hosted SNL the same day as Whitney’s funeral
ReplyDelete