"I'm sorry, I find your perkiness disgusting"
Cold Open: Weapon Discoveries
Cold Open: Weapon Discoveries
2 Stars
George W. Bush unveils some discoveries he found in Iraq
I skipped season 28 so I can't speak to Chris Parnell's take on the former president but I'm gonna guess that I would like it more than Darrell Hammond's. It doesn't sound a lot like Bush and it isn't all the funny either. The sketch has some good gags in it but Hammond's awkward delivery was distracting. I think what he was going for was Bush fumbling over the teleprompter but it comes off as sloppy comic timing or that he doesn't know his lines. Bush tells America that Operation Iraqi Freedom has been a huge success and while they haven't found any weapons of mass destruction they did find a lab where they uncovered a measuring cup, rubber gloves and a spatula. They also found envelopes which were possibly going to be used to carry anthrax and if that isn't scary enough they also found big manila envelopes. The sketch should have gotten out there but it keeps going to talk about how well the Iraqi people have it, much better than America it seems. Then Darrell gives a fairly dull "Live from New York..."
Kelly Ripa Monologue
I skipped season 28 so I can't speak to Chris Parnell's take on the former president but I'm gonna guess that I would like it more than Darrell Hammond's. It doesn't sound a lot like Bush and it isn't all the funny either. The sketch has some good gags in it but Hammond's awkward delivery was distracting. I think what he was going for was Bush fumbling over the teleprompter but it comes off as sloppy comic timing or that he doesn't know his lines. Bush tells America that Operation Iraqi Freedom has been a huge success and while they haven't found any weapons of mass destruction they did find a lab where they uncovered a measuring cup, rubber gloves and a spatula. They also found envelopes which were possibly going to be used to carry anthrax and if that isn't scary enough they also found big manila envelopes. The sketch should have gotten out there but it keeps going to talk about how well the Iraqi people have it, much better than America it seems. Then Darrell gives a fairly dull "Live from New York..."
Kelly Ripa Monologue
4 Stars
Kelly takes questions from the audience
Kelly comes out and pretty quickly jumps into the patented "Questions from the audience" monologue. The Regis Philbin fan club asks her if Regis will be here and quickly leave when she says no, an old lady tells her that she liked Kathie Lee better and we get our first sighting of J.B. Smoove, who was a writer on this season. He asks her if she's 33 and has 3 kids and then asks his wife, Paula Pell, why she can't look like Kelly after only 2 kids. Jim Downey has a question about Dance Party USA, a show Kelly was on when she was 14. He wants to talk about his favorite episode, Episode 514 where Kelly slow danced with Matt to NeverEnding Story. Security promptly takes him away. Then we get our first Jason Sudeikis sighting who says he likes Hope And Faith. He's only kidding though he's never seen it but he asks for any advice to a struggling actor with 0 jobs from a woman who has 3. This prompts J.B. Smoove to further resent his wife.
"You got 3 jobs? And your husband got 1 job? Damn it woman, I'm gonna leave you for her."
"You want him, take him. Hope you like credit card debt."
Kelly comes out and pretty quickly jumps into the patented "Questions from the audience" monologue. The Regis Philbin fan club asks her if Regis will be here and quickly leave when she says no, an old lady tells her that she liked Kathie Lee better and we get our first sighting of J.B. Smoove, who was a writer on this season. He asks her if she's 33 and has 3 kids and then asks his wife, Paula Pell, why she can't look like Kelly after only 2 kids. Jim Downey has a question about Dance Party USA, a show Kelly was on when she was 14. He wants to talk about his favorite episode, Episode 514 where Kelly slow danced with Matt to NeverEnding Story. Security promptly takes him away. Then we get our first Jason Sudeikis sighting who says he likes Hope And Faith. He's only kidding though he's never seen it but he asks for any advice to a struggling actor with 0 jobs from a woman who has 3. This prompts J.B. Smoove to further resent his wife.
"You got 3 jobs? And your husband got 1 job? Damn it woman, I'm gonna leave you for her."
"You want him, take him. Hope you like credit card debt."
These are always a little hacky but I would rather have this than a poorly rehearsed musical number or uncomfortable stand-up. Extra points for getting to see Smoove and Sudeikis get some airtime.
Tressant Supreme
2 Stars
The secret to Kelly's energy is in her hair
Kelly describes her active life and how she looks good doing it. The secret is her shampoo and conditioner. It's all natural with just a little bit of crack cocaine. It gives her enough energy to get through her 15th time interviewing Melissa Joan Hart and also keeps her hair looking great. Then she starts babbling incoherently. This was cute but I wanted it to go way further and crazier. Especially since it's a pre-tape, they could have taken this to the next level. This seemed like something that would have been perfect for Kristen Wiig and Kelly just doesn't have the same comedic skills.
Live With Regis And Kelly
Kelly describes her active life and how she looks good doing it. The secret is her shampoo and conditioner. It's all natural with just a little bit of crack cocaine. It gives her enough energy to get through her 15th time interviewing Melissa Joan Hart and also keeps her hair looking great. Then she starts babbling incoherently. This was cute but I wanted it to go way further and crazier. Especially since it's a pre-tape, they could have taken this to the next level. This seemed like something that would have been perfect for Kristen Wiig and Kelly just doesn't have the same comedic skills.
Live With Regis And Kelly
1 Star
Regis and Kelly interview Angelina Jolie
Ah, the old "do the impression in front of the real person" routine. Darrell and Amy play Regis and Kelly, Chris Kattan comes back to play their producer, Gelman, and Kelly is playing Angelina Jolie. Kelly talks about all her babies and they bring out their guest. Angelina tries to dispel the rumors that she carries a vial of blood and makes out with her brother and shows a clip of her new movie. Then she kicks Kelly in the face when she goes in for a hug. Nothing about this worked for me at all.
Access Hollywood
Ah, the old "do the impression in front of the real person" routine. Darrell and Amy play Regis and Kelly, Chris Kattan comes back to play their producer, Gelman, and Kelly is playing Angelina Jolie. Kelly talks about all her babies and they bring out their guest. Angelina tries to dispel the rumors that she carries a vial of blood and makes out with her brother and shows a clip of her new movie. Then she kicks Kelly in the face when she goes in for a hug. Nothing about this worked for me at all.
Access Hollywood
2 Stars
Renee Zellweger is interviewed with her weight gain coach
Pat O'Brien (Jimmy) interviews Renee Zellweger (Kelly) about her upcoming film, Bridget Jones 2. She's gained weight for the role with the help of her obesity coach, Mortimer Barnswallow (Horatio). Mortimer comes in on a motorized scooter and sits on the couch which then acts like a teeter totter. This is all Horatio doing fat jokes and it works for what it is. He says he uses Vienna sausages as Tic Tacs, he butters his Oreos, he eats two Twinkies at the same time and he hasn't had a bowel movement in 3 years. This had it's moments but loses points for giggling by Horatio and Jimmy and an awkward ending. Jimmy looks in the camera and says, "Wait till you see what Keanu Reeves is up to" and "Wait till you see what happens on Friends this week" and then awkwardly walks off set. It looked like maybe something happened or a cue was dropped, just seemed sloppy.
Outkast
"Hey Ya!"
Pat O'Brien (Jimmy) interviews Renee Zellweger (Kelly) about her upcoming film, Bridget Jones 2. She's gained weight for the role with the help of her obesity coach, Mortimer Barnswallow (Horatio). Mortimer comes in on a motorized scooter and sits on the couch which then acts like a teeter totter. This is all Horatio doing fat jokes and it works for what it is. He says he uses Vienna sausages as Tic Tacs, he butters his Oreos, he eats two Twinkies at the same time and he hasn't had a bowel movement in 3 years. This had it's moments but loses points for giggling by Horatio and Jimmy and an awkward ending. Jimmy looks in the camera and says, "Wait till you see what Keanu Reeves is up to" and "Wait till you see what happens on Friends this week" and then awkwardly walks off set. It looked like maybe something happened or a cue was dropped, just seemed sloppy.
Outkast
"Hey Ya!"
This was one of the best performances I've ever seen on SNL. From the count off to the end, this was awesome. It almost refuses to end as the music fades out but Andre 3000 keeps going. Seeing as how the episode is going so far, if he wanted to sing for another 30 minutes, I would be fine with that.
Weekend Update
Weekend Update
"That explains his nickname, The Human Idiot"
Whitney Houston's Christmas album is titled "One Wish", her one wish is more crack. Roy, of Siegfried and Roy, was mauled by a tiger. His status has been updated from critical to fabulous. My least favorite bit this week came from Jimmy when he reported on the death of The Price Is Right announcer, Rod Roddy. He first says that he likes to think that he is saying his catchphrase of "Come on down" from Hell and then guesses his age at death with help from the audience. Tina says what I was thinking, a man is dead, but then she giggles.
A story about P. Diddy running the New York marathon leads to Jimmy and Tina wondering what that would look like. As soon as he hears the starter pistol goes off he pulls out his own gun and shoots the officiant several times before running away.
With a review of Halloween is Drunk Girl. She went dressed as Catwoman this year because all her other costumes are currently being used as evidence. Most of this is inaudible drunk mumbling until she offers Jimmy an M&M and pours a bunch out from her top. When Jimmy tells her she missed a blue one she replies, "That's not an M&M". This is a piece that's more performance based than well written. At least it was short.
What wasn't short was Horatio coming out as Jimmy Buffet. He apparently was paid $250,000 to play a private party in Sardinia that was paid for with extorted funds. He sings 3 songs about the party all set to "Margaritaville" with lyrics about how crazy it was. Getting high with Hulk Hogan, putting jalapeno poppers up a monkey's ass and throwing a midget into the pool are some of the wacky highlights that went on. This bit was not only seemingly endless but felt unrehearsed and sloppy. Horatio and Jimmy are giggling for most of it.
Cow Fart Study
With a review of Halloween is Drunk Girl. She went dressed as Catwoman this year because all her other costumes are currently being used as evidence. Most of this is inaudible drunk mumbling until she offers Jimmy an M&M and pours a bunch out from her top. When Jimmy tells her she missed a blue one she replies, "That's not an M&M". This is a piece that's more performance based than well written. At least it was short.
What wasn't short was Horatio coming out as Jimmy Buffet. He apparently was paid $250,000 to play a private party in Sardinia that was paid for with extorted funds. He sings 3 songs about the party all set to "Margaritaville" with lyrics about how crazy it was. Getting high with Hulk Hogan, putting jalapeno poppers up a monkey's ass and throwing a midget into the pool are some of the wacky highlights that went on. This bit was not only seemingly endless but felt unrehearsed and sloppy. Horatio and Jimmy are giggling for most of it.
Cow Fart Study
4 Stars
A man has a heart to heart with his wife at the office
Will's wife comes into visit him at work but he is far too involved in his research to be bothered. His research is cow farts and how they effect the environment. His wife tells him that she's leaving him and all the dramatic beats in this scene are punctuated by well timed farts.
"My work is not a joke" (fart)
"I'm pregnant" (fart)
The two eventually reconcile and Will gives up on his work which results in the world blowing up. Turns out this sketch was paid for by The Center Of Cow Fart Study as a warning to how important their research is. Juvenile and sophomoric but very, very funny.
Leilani Burke: Pet Psychic
Will's wife comes into visit him at work but he is far too involved in his research to be bothered. His research is cow farts and how they effect the environment. His wife tells him that she's leaving him and all the dramatic beats in this scene are punctuated by well timed farts.
"My work is not a joke" (fart)
"I'm pregnant" (fart)
The two eventually reconcile and Will gives up on his work which results in the world blowing up. Turns out this sketch was paid for by The Center Of Cow Fart Study as a warning to how important their research is. Juvenile and sophomoric but very, very funny.
Leilani Burke: Pet Psychic
4 Stars
A woman can talk to pets and they all seem to know a lot about her
Maya plays Leilani Burke who opens her show by singing her own theme song. She has a gift where she can communicate with pets and she's going to share that gift with her guests. The first guest is Kelly who feels a distance growing between her and her cat. Leilani talks to the cat but only wants to talk about her theme song.
"You liked my song? You're right, it does show off my range. I don't have a recording contract. You know Phil Styles at Kingpin Records? I would love to give you a demo tape."
Her next guest is Horatio who has brought along his bird. They have a similar conversation.
"You like my lyrics? They come from my journals. I had lunch with Phil Styles too. I had the salad. I guess there was a mild flirtation."
Rachel has brought her turtle.
"I know you're disappointed. I was angry at myself when I slept with Phil Styles's assistant. Yes, I had a glass of wine. All right, a box. All right, a box of paint thinner and when I woke up I could talk to animals."
Just an enjoyable and bizarre little sketch with solid character work from everyone involved.
Outkast
"The Way You Move"
Maya plays Leilani Burke who opens her show by singing her own theme song. She has a gift where she can communicate with pets and she's going to share that gift with her guests. The first guest is Kelly who feels a distance growing between her and her cat. Leilani talks to the cat but only wants to talk about her theme song.
"You liked my song? You're right, it does show off my range. I don't have a recording contract. You know Phil Styles at Kingpin Records? I would love to give you a demo tape."
Her next guest is Horatio who has brought along his bird. They have a similar conversation.
"You like my lyrics? They come from my journals. I had lunch with Phil Styles too. I had the salad. I guess there was a mild flirtation."
Rachel has brought her turtle.
"I know you're disappointed. I was angry at myself when I slept with Phil Styles's assistant. Yes, I had a glass of wine. All right, a box. All right, a box of paint thinner and when I woke up I could talk to animals."
Just an enjoyable and bizarre little sketch with solid character work from everyone involved.
Outkast
"The Way You Move"
Big Boi gets his turn with this R&B jam.
Spy Glass
Spy Glass
3 Stars
Two British gossip reporters spill the beans on celebrities
Seth and Amy have good chemistry here, which would suit them in later seasons. They dish on celebrities, Seth speaks in rhymes and puns and Amy gives not-so cryptic clues before coming out and saying who she's talking about.
"All's not Elle that ends Elle" precedes a story about Elle MacPherson checking into rehab. A story about Ian McKellen getting into a fight is reported as "Hands off, Gandalf. Don't you know fighting is a nasty hobbit?". Amy's stories include one about a married man having a snog in a limo, if he walked with a limp he might use a "Michael Caine" and another married man hooking up with his co-star, his secret is safe unless cheating on your wife is against the "Jude Law". Rachel shows up digging through a dumpster, Kelly plays Geri Haliwell with The Spice Girls report. These were a bit too much as I think the real meat of the piece is Seth and Amy. A really unnecessary inclusion was Jimmy as Lord Epson Carlyle Smythe Pat O'Brien. He does the same awkward bit he did at the end of the Access Hollywood sketch so I guess the clumsiness is intentional. So I still don't like it but at least I understand it.
Greenbriar County Animal Rescue Shelter
Seth and Amy have good chemistry here, which would suit them in later seasons. They dish on celebrities, Seth speaks in rhymes and puns and Amy gives not-so cryptic clues before coming out and saying who she's talking about.
"All's not Elle that ends Elle" precedes a story about Elle MacPherson checking into rehab. A story about Ian McKellen getting into a fight is reported as "Hands off, Gandalf. Don't you know fighting is a nasty hobbit?". Amy's stories include one about a married man having a snog in a limo, if he walked with a limp he might use a "Michael Caine" and another married man hooking up with his co-star, his secret is safe unless cheating on your wife is against the "Jude Law". Rachel shows up digging through a dumpster, Kelly plays Geri Haliwell with The Spice Girls report. These were a bit too much as I think the real meat of the piece is Seth and Amy. A really unnecessary inclusion was Jimmy as Lord Epson Carlyle Smythe Pat O'Brien. He does the same awkward bit he did at the end of the Access Hollywood sketch so I guess the clumsiness is intentional. So I still don't like it but at least I understand it.
Greenbriar County Animal Rescue Shelter
4 Stars
Come down and adopt a dog, just not Pumpkin
Chris and Kelly are showing off dogs available for adoption at their shelter but when they get to Pumpkin their attitude changes from happy and helpful to complete disdain. They both think Pumpkin is a douchebag, straight jagweed and first class tool. He hasn't done anything bad, they just get a vibe about him. He's like Craig Kilborn in dog form. While they are saying all of these mean things we keep cutting back to shots of an adorable little dog. Chris ends up getting in the dog's face and telling him how much he hates him. This was a great way to end the night.
FINAL ANALYSIS
Chris and Kelly are showing off dogs available for adoption at their shelter but when they get to Pumpkin their attitude changes from happy and helpful to complete disdain. They both think Pumpkin is a douchebag, straight jagweed and first class tool. He hasn't done anything bad, they just get a vibe about him. He's like Craig Kilborn in dog form. While they are saying all of these mean things we keep cutting back to shots of an adorable little dog. Chris ends up getting in the dog's face and telling him how much he hates him. This was a great way to end the night.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"I've enjoyed watching you blossom into womanhood"
Average
2.9 Stars
MVP
Outkast
Best Sketch
Cow Fart Study
Worst Sketch
Live With Regis And Kelly
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
This one had a way better back half than front half. The monologue was fun but the cold open, commercial parody and first two sketches were all weak. Then Outkast came and blew the roof off but we followed that with an extremely bloated Weekend Update. If I had been watching this live, there is no way I would have made it to cow farts. I would lead off with Leilani Burke, move into Live With Regis And Kelly and save Access Hollywood for after Update. Am I allowed to cut Weekend Update from my fantasy lineup? I didn't like it, it was way too long and completely ruined the flow of the show. Now that I don't include them in my ratings, I'm really tempted to just fast forward through them.
Host Analysis
Host Analysis
While not the best, she was far from the worst. I thought we were in for some trouble after the monologue, commercial parody and her pretty unfunny Angelina Jolie and Renee Zellweger impressions but she got better at the end of the night playing straight roles in Cow Fart Study (one smile from Kelly would have ruined that sketch), Leilani Burke and Animal Rescue Shelter. Give her something to do that requires comedic chops and she's not that good but give her a straight man role and she'll do just fine. I'm probably going a little easier on her since I just came off the Halle Berry episode.
Final Thoughts
A considerable step up from last week and Halle Berry. Honestly, until Cow Fart Study, I was ready to bail on this season. The season's gotten off to a fairly slow start and after Berry and the first half of this episode I was ready to call it quits. Then Will Forte thinks about his marriage under somber underscoring and a symphony of cow farts and I was back in. This season has to have at least a few hidden gems.
Up Next
A considerable step up from last week and Halle Berry. Honestly, until Cow Fart Study, I was ready to bail on this season. The season's gotten off to a fairly slow start and after Berry and the first half of this episode I was ready to call it quits. Then Will Forte thinks about his marriage under somber underscoring and a symphony of cow farts and I was back in. This season has to have at least a few hidden gems.
Up Next
Tennis star Andy Roddick hosts. So much for a hot streak.
She has a cute smile
ReplyDeleteI think Darrell Hammond should have left around this time, we were close to having the Wiig,Sudekis,Hader and Samberg era and in the next six years he appeared in less and less sketches.
ReplyDelete