"I like little men and he is one sexy little man"
Cold Open: The Ladies' Man
Cold Open: The Ladies' Man
3 Stars
Leon takes Viagra to demonstrate the effects
Leon's got his Courvoisier and his Viagra. Somehow he has obtained a bottle of the new drug that is used for, as Leon puts it, chronic fatigue syndrome of the wang or Old Man's Penis. His first caller suffers from impotency and wonders if the drug really works. To test the drug, Leon takes the whole bottle and arouses himself with a picture of Delta Burke. To quiet his hardifying wang he looks at a picture of Sally Jesse Raphael but it is a futile attempt. He goes with it and takes another caller who is 76 years old and happy to be able to make love to his 80 year old wife again. Normally Leon would think this disgusting but thanks to the pills it doesn't sound too bad.
"How's that 80 year old ass on that old lady of yours?"
"It's a humdinger!"
I had forgotten just how big a story Viagra was. The world's first boner pill dominated the news and comedy shows when it came out. This episode mentions it multiple times and I guess if you have a recurring character who only talks about sex you might as well marry them with the story.
Matthew Broderick Monologue
Leon's got his Courvoisier and his Viagra. Somehow he has obtained a bottle of the new drug that is used for, as Leon puts it, chronic fatigue syndrome of the wang or Old Man's Penis. His first caller suffers from impotency and wonders if the drug really works. To test the drug, Leon takes the whole bottle and arouses himself with a picture of Delta Burke. To quiet his hardifying wang he looks at a picture of Sally Jesse Raphael but it is a futile attempt. He goes with it and takes another caller who is 76 years old and happy to be able to make love to his 80 year old wife again. Normally Leon would think this disgusting but thanks to the pills it doesn't sound too bad.
"How's that 80 year old ass on that old lady of yours?"
"It's a humdinger!"
I had forgotten just how big a story Viagra was. The world's first boner pill dominated the news and comedy shows when it came out. This episode mentions it multiple times and I guess if you have a recurring character who only talks about sex you might as well marry them with the story.
Matthew Broderick Monologue
1 Star
Jim and Tracy are really excited for the new Godzilla movie
Matthew is excited to catch us up on everything he's done in the 10 years since he last hosted the show, including his upcoming movie Godzilla. Tracy comes running out and asks what Godzilla is going to look like, to which Matthew tells him it's a secret. Then Jim comes out wanting to do his Godzilla impression. Then he wants to do his impression of a scared Japanese man running away from Godzilla. Nothing about this worked for me. Matthew seems to be completely unamused by everything going on, Jim and Tracy have little to no chemistry together and on top of everything the bit is unfunny and seems to be thrown together at the last possible second.
Flex
Matthew is excited to catch us up on everything he's done in the 10 years since he last hosted the show, including his upcoming movie Godzilla. Tracy comes running out and asks what Godzilla is going to look like, to which Matthew tells him it's a secret. Then Jim comes out wanting to do his Godzilla impression. Then he wants to do his impression of a scared Japanese man running away from Godzilla. Nothing about this worked for me. Matthew seems to be completely unamused by everything going on, Jim and Tracy have little to no chemistry together and on top of everything the bit is unfunny and seems to be thrown together at the last possible second.
Flex
4 Stars
A deodorant containing powerful performance enhancing drugs
When you live an active lifestyle, you're gonna sweat. When you want to stay protected and attack the day, you should use Flex, the only antiperspirant that includes performance enhancing drugs. Will uses it and turns into The Incredible Hulk, destroys his bike and mauls and marks his territory on a nearby jogger. Tim uses it during his baseball game, charges the mound and wrestles a dog. Chris rips off his shirt in the middle of the street, runs into the woods, kills and eats a deer. All fun stuff.
The View
When you live an active lifestyle, you're gonna sweat. When you want to stay protected and attack the day, you should use Flex, the only antiperspirant that includes performance enhancing drugs. Will uses it and turns into The Incredible Hulk, destroys his bike and mauls and marks his territory on a nearby jogger. Tim uses it during his baseball game, charges the mound and wrestles a dog. Chris rips off his shirt in the middle of the street, runs into the woods, kills and eats a deer. All fun stuff.
The View
1 Star
The gals from The View go over some hot topics with George Stephanopoulos
Same opening as previous times except Ana is playing Debbie. They also have a new set, because for some reason the show takes place in L.A. this week. This week's hot topics are Cuba and Viagra. They bring out their guest George Stephanopoulos, who is Matthew Broderick in glasses. They all want to have sex with him, Barbara keeps yelling at Debbie, eventually telling her to get in her cage. The sketch ends awkwardly as I think Tracy missed a cue and they all kind of look lost for a few seconds. This is the 3rd time we've seen this and it's so routine I feel like I could write it as it goes along.
Sparks
Same opening as previous times except Ana is playing Debbie. They also have a new set, because for some reason the show takes place in L.A. this week. This week's hot topics are Cuba and Viagra. They bring out their guest George Stephanopoulos, who is Matthew Broderick in glasses. They all want to have sex with him, Barbara keeps yelling at Debbie, eventually telling her to get in her cage. The sketch ends awkwardly as I think Tracy missed a cue and they all kind of look lost for a few seconds. This is the 3rd time we've seen this and it's so routine I feel like I could write it as it goes along.
Sparks
3 Stars
A very affectionate couple makes things awkward at a dinner party
Matthew and Molly are married and having dinner with their neighbors Chris and Cheri. Things almost immediately get uncomfortable when Cheri asks Chris to scratch her back and they start talking dirty while they're doing it. The bit repeats when Chris spills wine on himself and Cheri cleans him with a napkin while saying provocative things. All this seems to excite Molly but makes Matthew feel awkward. Eventually Matthew decides it's time to leave but Cheri walks over and slaps him and acts sexually aggressive towards him. Matthew starts to get into it eventually screaming that he wants to get laid. Things crumble quickly as Chris runs to attack him, calls him a pervert and forces him to leave. These characters first appeared in season 22 and would recur more in future seasons. For what it was, I didn't mind this, even though I knew what the ending was going to be. I'm sure it's going to get very repetitive in future sketches but it gives Cheri something to do that doesn't involve cheer leading.
Pretty Living
Matthew and Molly are married and having dinner with their neighbors Chris and Cheri. Things almost immediately get uncomfortable when Cheri asks Chris to scratch her back and they start talking dirty while they're doing it. The bit repeats when Chris spills wine on himself and Cheri cleans him with a napkin while saying provocative things. All this seems to excite Molly but makes Matthew feel awkward. Eventually Matthew decides it's time to leave but Cheri walks over and slaps him and acts sexually aggressive towards him. Matthew starts to get into it eventually screaming that he wants to get laid. Things crumble quickly as Chris runs to attack him, calls him a pervert and forces him to leave. These characters first appeared in season 22 and would recur more in future seasons. For what it was, I didn't mind this, even though I knew what the ending was going to be. I'm sure it's going to get very repetitive in future sketches but it gives Cheri something to do that doesn't involve cheer leading.
Pretty Living
1 Star
Interview with licensed joyologist, Helen Madden
Helen Madden says "I love it, I love it, I love it" a lot. This time she brings out her new boyfriend that she met in Hawaii, who is Matthew Broderick with a mustache. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Viagra
Helen Madden says "I love it, I love it, I love it" a lot. This time she brings out her new boyfriend that she met in Hawaii, who is Matthew Broderick with a mustache. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Viagra
4 Stars
Men describe their feelings towards Viagra
We get interviews with men on the street about the new erectile dysfunction drug, Viagra. All the men say they don't need it or get very angry at the question. One man tells them to go to hell, some guys get insulted and Leon Phelps says that he needs a pill to keep it down. Then we see Regis Philbin holding up a bottle.
"If you think I need Viagra, you can go straight to hell."
Don Pardo gets the last word.
"Viagra. I sure as hell don't need it."
Weekend Update
We get interviews with men on the street about the new erectile dysfunction drug, Viagra. All the men say they don't need it or get very angry at the question. One man tells them to go to hell, some guys get insulted and Leon Phelps says that he needs a pill to keep it down. Then we see Regis Philbin holding up a bottle.
"If you think I need Viagra, you can go straight to hell."
Don Pardo gets the last word.
"Viagra. I sure as hell don't need it."
Weekend Update
"Diet and exercise may stop Alzheimer's. This means that one day Joe Piscopo will be the only person who remembers who he was."
Colin opens with a rant on how Bill Clinton should fire Kenneth Starr. He feels that people want to see the president abuse his power. Then he compares that to stealing office supplies. No desk pieces this week and the segment ran just under 5 minutes. This just felt like a big waste of time. There was nothing in here that I'm glad I saw. I'm really surprised they kept him around for another season. They could have used the summer to retool but instead they stuck with what wasn't working.
Natalie Merchant
"Kind & Generous"
I just got a weird sense of déjà vu. I have seen this before. To the archives! Last time Natalie Merchant appeared was on the David Schwimmer episode in season 21 and she performed Wonder and Carnival. Contrary to popular opinion, those are different songs than this one. They sound similar but in fact have different lyrics. You could have fooled me. I do love this song though. It's so upbeat and positive that it's hard not to enjoy. The lyrics are just about thanking someone for being kind and generous and then it goes into a bunch of "la la las". What's not to like?
The Celine Dion Show
2 Stars
It's the Celine Dion show, same as the last time but with drag
Another one of these? Can a dude get something new? Celine comes out and says she's the best singer in the world and her life is so much better than yours, just like she did the first time. She interviews her creepy old husband, for what seems like time filler because then she brings out her VH1 Diva costars Shania Twain (Molly), Mariah Carey (Cheri) and Gloria Estefan (Matthew Broderick in a dress). Celine asks Mariah to sing one of her songs, she does and Celine sings the same song louder. She does the same thing to Gloria and they all leave. Celine feels bad for being so talented and remembers her childhood nickname, 'Ugly Retarded Girl'.
Prime Minister's Questions
2 Stars
Tony Blair takes questions from the house of commons
I guess everyone wanted to show off their English accents, except for Colin who does his Irish accent. People ask questions of the prime minister, Matthew Broderick in a wig, Darrell's is indecipherable because of his accent, Chris wants to rub the prime minister's naked body, Tracy is an American wanting to know when they gonna clean up Big Ben and Will only wants to ask questions about the Teletubbies. Will's bizarre bit was the only laugh I got as he asked which Teletubby is the prime minister's favorite and then rips off his jacket to reveal a Teletubbies shirt. Other than that, this was a bit of a waste of time.
Prom Limo
I guess everyone wanted to show off their English accents, except for Colin who does his Irish accent. People ask questions of the prime minister, Matthew Broderick in a wig, Darrell's is indecipherable because of his accent, Chris wants to rub the prime minister's naked body, Tracy is an American wanting to know when they gonna clean up Big Ben and Will only wants to ask questions about the Teletubbies. Will's bizarre bit was the only laugh I got as he asked which Teletubby is the prime minister's favorite and then rips off his jacket to reveal a Teletubbies shirt. Other than that, this was a bit of a waste of time.
Prom Limo
2 Stars
4 drunk teenagers sing about how cool they are standing up in their limo
Will, Molly, Cheri and Matthew are drinking in the back of their limo after the prom. They get the idea to stick their heads out of the sky roof. They think they're so cool then the music starts. They sing about how they are soaring like eagles and the fact that they will be kick ass for the rest of their days and how Matthew and Cheri lost their virginity earlier in the night. Then comes an overpass and Will's head gets chopped off. They finish the song with Will missing a head. Either I've seen this one before or I just anticipated the ending. As soon as the stood up I knew someone was going to lose a head so the whole time I'm just waiting for it to happen. Then it did and it was only slightly satisfying.
Tenacious D
Will, Molly, Cheri and Matthew are drinking in the back of their limo after the prom. They get the idea to stick their heads out of the sky roof. They think they're so cool then the music starts. They sing about how they are soaring like eagles and the fact that they will be kick ass for the rest of their days and how Matthew and Cheri lost their virginity earlier in the night. Then comes an overpass and Will's head gets chopped off. They finish the song with Will missing a head. Either I've seen this one before or I just anticipated the ending. As soon as the stood up I knew someone was going to lose a head so the whole time I'm just waiting for it to happen. Then it did and it was only slightly satisfying.
Tenacious D
I must have seen this episode before because I remember watching this as a kid and being confused. I recognized Jack Black as Matthew Broderick's friend from The Cable Guy but I had no idea he had a band and I had no idea what the joke was. So I remember just watching this and not knowing if this was a comedy bit or a real musical performance. Now I think it was the highlight of a pretty lame show. JB and KG sing History which transitions to Double Team but with cleaned up lyrics. "Snatch" turns into "Patch", "Fuck" is "Funk" and "Fuckin' Sexy Ass" is now "Silky Sexy Ass". All of these changes seem to be overemphasized by Jack Black like he's trying to assure the censors that he won't be swearing.
Comic Minds
2 Stars
After Cheech & Chong there was Orbit & Larry
Matthew Broderick, I mean Matt Peedman, sorry all his characters tonight have been so unique I feel like I need to dignify them with their actual names, hosts a show where he talks to comedians. In the 70s, Cheech & Chong captivated the nation with their marijuana humor but we should not forget Orbit & Larry who were a similar comedy team who smoked angel dust. We hear a clip from their album "I Can Fight Off Ten Cops" entitled "I Got The Ice In Me" which consists of Will screaming random things and Tracy being scared. Matt asks them how they came up with the idea and the answer is simple, they smoked a lot and Tracy got scared, Will was unaware that they were recording or that Tracy was in the room with him. We hear another track from their album "I'm Gonna Cut Myself And Then Jump Off A Moving Train" titled "There's Snakes In The Toilet" which involves Tracy grabbing a shotgun to shoot the snakes and shooting Will in the arm. Matthew stumbles over his last line but I think he teases next week's show by promising "Crackhead, Dave Coulier".
FINAL ANALYSIS
Matthew Broderick, I mean Matt Peedman, sorry all his characters tonight have been so unique I feel like I need to dignify them with their actual names, hosts a show where he talks to comedians. In the 70s, Cheech & Chong captivated the nation with their marijuana humor but we should not forget Orbit & Larry who were a similar comedy team who smoked angel dust. We hear a clip from their album "I Can Fight Off Ten Cops" entitled "I Got The Ice In Me" which consists of Will screaming random things and Tracy being scared. Matt asks them how they came up with the idea and the answer is simple, they smoked a lot and Tracy got scared, Will was unaware that they were recording or that Tracy was in the room with him. We hear another track from their album "I'm Gonna Cut Myself And Then Jump Off A Moving Train" titled "There's Snakes In The Toilet" which involves Tracy grabbing a shotgun to shoot the snakes and shooting Will in the arm. Matthew stumbles over his last line but I think he teases next week's show by promising "Crackhead, Dave Coulier".
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Burt Bacharach told me it causes severe cotton mouth"
Average
2.3 Stars
MVP
Will Ferrell
The Ladies' Man, Flex, Viagra, Prime Minister's Questions, Prom Limo, Comic Minds
The Ladies' Man, Flex, Viagra, Prime Minister's Questions, Prom Limo, Comic Minds
Best Sketch
The Ladies' Man
Worst Sketch
Pretty Living
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
I guess the only advice I have is put together a better show. Was there a writer's strike this week? Everything here was recurring. Last week I praised the Greg Kinnear episode for trying new things. Even though it wasn't that good at least it was interesting. This week they threw the same old crap up at the wall that's already covered in crap. The cold open was even a recurring sketch. They could have done a Viagra sketch or something topical, a sketch about Godzilla, instead they just threw up a recurring sketch in the top spot and then followed it with The View, Sparks, Helen Madden and Celine Dion. There were so many recurring bits that there was nobody left to help Colin out during Weekend Update. Did Mary Katharine Gallagher have a school function? Where was she?
Host Analysis
He was pretty lifeless and dull. But that's pretty much Matthew Broderick's style. It always amazes me that someone who defined cool for a generation with a handful of performances can be so boring. He sleepwalked through this hosting stint much like he sleepwalked through his performance in Godzilla and a number of other film roles.
Final Thoughts
Aside from the two commercial parodies and Tenacious D there is nothing here I would want to watch again. I'll have to wait until I get to my season recap to be sure but I think we've found the worst of the season. Either this or Roma Downey but I remember liking the monologue and maybe one sketch during that one. This was just a big boring stinker from beginning to end. As soon as they started with The Ladies' Man I sensed trouble. I like Leon Phelps but he shouldn't be screaming 'Live from New York'. Then the monologue left me cold and as soon as Matthew Broderick blandly walked out to say hello to the ladies of The View I could all but tell this wasn't gonna be worth my time.
Up Next
Last time we saw David Duchovny he was hosting the last episode of the disastrous season 20. He's back to host the season finale of this season. And speaking of Godzilla, Puff Daddy and Jimmy Page act as the musical guest. I'm gonna make a wild guess and say that they will probably be performing Come With Me from the Godzilla soundtrack.
David did the finales of SNL alot didnt he.
ReplyDeleteOnly association i have of Broderick and SNL is the infamous penis sketch.
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