Saturday Night Live Season 23 Reviews - Episode 10 - Samuel L. Jackson / Ben Folds Five

"There's only so much I can do with a white woman's ass"

I remember watching this episode live.  I had just watched Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs and as a result became a huge fan of Jackson and Quentin Tarantino and was anxiously awaiting seeing their latest film, Jackie Brown.  I was taping this episode, in case I fell asleep or it was so good that I would want to watch it over and over and also because I didn't know that one day the internet would make all my VHS tapes of random stuff from TV obsolete.  Here are my memories before I rewatch it.  Everything was going great.  The monologue was funny, Pulp Fiction auditions merged two of my obsessions together, Jackson was acquiescing nicely as a host.  Then it happened.  Hey, check it out, Weekend Update has a new opening graphic.  Wait, Colin Quinn?  What the hell is going on here?  Is this a bit?  Is Norm gonna come out and shoo him away.  That little rascal, Colin, playing a little prank on us.  But no, it was real.  This might sound grandiose but for me, this was like finding out Santa Claus wasn't real or your parents telling you they're splitting up.  My comedy hero Chris Farley had just died, I was crushed.  Then I come back from Christmas break and my other hero, Norm MacDonald, is no longer on Update.  Goodbye childhood, welcome to the wonderful sucky world of being an adult and having your fun ruined.

Cold Open: Budget Surplus

4 Stars

President Clinton has a plan for the 40 billion dollar budget surplus

For the first time in 30 years, the United States is going to have an annual budget surplus.  Now we have to figure out how to spend it.  Bill got drunk on peach wine and had the idea to pay the NFL to have a naked Super Bowl but got discouraged after seeing some naked photos of Pittsburgh Steelers halfback, Jerome Bettis.  He asked Al Gore but realized he was dumb, his dog Buddy but realized he was a dog and could not talk and Hillary but couldn't listen to a word she was saying.  Then he went and saw Titanic and realized that if they could make a movie that great for 200 million dollars just think of the kick ass movie we could make for 40 billion.  Bill wrote the script himself.  It's about a young boy who becomes governor and has to save the world from terminators riding dinosaurs with his best friend, a thin Marlon Brando, and stealth bombers flown by Playboy bunnies.  There will be a tender love scene between Fidel Castro and JD Sallinger and it will be directed by the pope.  He's also working on the sequel titled, Live From New York...

Samuel L. Jackson Monologue

4 Stars

Jackson reads his New Year's resolutions

Apparently there are things that even Samuel L. Jackson can approve on so he's sharing some of his goals for 1998.  They include continuing to kick ass, being as bad as he knows he can be, working his voodoo on his lady fans, taking a thorn out of some cat's paw, releasing a dove from a ghetto rooftop, sticking it to all the suckas, building a shrine to his own bad ass and taking a computer class.  Jackson's bigger than life delivery makes all this absurdity sublime.

Rerun of Lemon Glow

Publishers Clearing House Giveaway

4 Stars

A family in the projects wins 10 million dollars

Will and Ana are at the Tompkins housing project in Brooklyn, New York to present a $10 million check to a lucky family.  When they knock on the door they are greeted by Jackson who tells them to leave because as he puts it.
"I see a whole bunch of white faces and I got a bunch of crazy n***ers in here."
Tracy comes out as his wife, cradling a baby, and welcomes the two in.  There's a poker game going on, an assortment of children, a pitbull sitting on a bookshelf and their older son is entertaining a lady friend.  Not the usual family you see on the Publisher's Clearing House commercials.  They all gather for a family photo which is interrupted when their pitbull latches on to Will's arm.  Jackson says he'll hook him up with a new arm after he gets his wife some electrolysis for her mustache.  This sketch is probably seen as slightly racist today but all the performances made it fun.

Quentin Tarantino: A Profile

4 Stars

Quentin Tarantino shows some failed screen tests for Pulp Fiction

Norm as Quentin Tarantino, tells us that he knew Samuel L. Jackson was going to play Jules in Pulp Fiction but he wasn't sure who would play Vincent.  He knew he wanted to rediscover someone but John Travolta wasn't his first choice.  He first went with fellow TV star, Jerry Mathers, star of Leave It To Beaver.  Darrell plays Mathers reenacting the scene where Vincent compares foot massages to cunnilingus.  The next choice was Burt Reynolds, also played by Norm, who does the famous 'Royale With Cheese' scene with Jackson.  We also get footage of Walter Cronkite auditioning for the gimp and Ann B. Davis, Alice from The Brady Bunch, reading for Mia Wallace.  The sketch ends with Jackson and Ana as Alice doing the Watusi.  I remember being upset at the time that this wasn't accurate to the film.  Jules didn't dance with Mia, that was Vincent.  Didn't bother me that much as this was two of my pop culture obsessions coming together, Tarantino and SNL, plus it had Norm so I absolutely ate this up.

Jazzterpieces

3 Stars

Biography of a jazz duo

PBS presents a documentary about Dexter Spoons and Della Fitzwashington.  Jackson plays Dexter who is a blind pianist and Ana plays Della who is a habitually drunk and high singer.
"It's good to see you again, actually we've never seen you because I'm blind and Della is always filled to the gills with booze and junk."
We see the two perform some unintelligible songs and get some backstory on them, like the time Della shot Dexter 6 times because she was so high she thought he was the Loch Ness Monster.  I liked Ana's chemistry with Jackson and got a big laugh when, during a performance of 'I Get A Kick Out Of You' the line 'mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all' was followed by 'I prefer a big old shot of smack'.  This was the only time we saw Della Fitzwashington which is odd because it seemed like an intro to a character that would be recurring.  It's a shame as I would have preferred another outing of this over 20 more Marty and Bobbi Culps.

Judge Judy

3 Stars

Judge Judy presides over a case of fraud

This is the first appearance of Cheri Oteri's Judge Judy impression that we will get so many times the real Judy would come on the show to tell her to stop.  In this sketch Ordell Robbie (Jackson's character from Jackie Brown) is suing a woman for failing to pay him for services as her personal trainer.  She claims that all he did was have her do leg lifts with an ashtray balanced on her back and invite his friends over to her hours to drink and make long distance phone calls.  Ordell is able to sweet talk the judge into ruling in his favor.  This was fine.  It's obviously extremely dated but I liked all of the performances and was one of the few times so far this season that Tracy Morgan's delivery has worked in a sketch as the agreeable bailiff.

George Clooney

3 Stars

A Speed Racer inspired cartoon about George Clooney fending of the paparazzi

Clooney is holding a press conference encouraging all celebrities to boycott tabloid publications.  Afterwards he is being cradled underneath Fran Drescher's giant breasts in his limo with a monkey in the backseat.  When a paparazzo tries to snap his picture a car chase begins complete with OJ Simpson like coverage, Barbara Walters in hot pursuit and Eddie Murphy and Marv Albert speeding to try and get to a transvestite prostitute first.  I really liked the animation style of this Speed Racer parody but it was missing something for me.  I'm not sure what but probably a rationale for the comparison between Clooney and Japanese anime.

Weekend Update

"You know how you got to your favorite bar and your favorite bartender isn't there?  You ask, "where's Jeff?".  Jeff no longer works here, I'm Steve.  And you're thinking, 'who's this idiot?  I like Jeff', but you still want your drink.  You don't want to have to go to a different bar.  And even Steve might feel kind of bad because Jeff trained him.  Jeff showed him how to use the cash register, where the tonic was on the soda gun, who tips, who doesn't.  Well, I'm Steve, what can I get ya?"

I had no idea this was coming.  I was an innocent 15 year old boy just returning back to school after what I'm assuming was a delightful Christmas.  I don't remember Christmas that year but I remember vividly the moment when I was sitting on the floor of my living room watching SNL and hearing the words, "Weekend Update with Colin Quinn".  I got 11 episodes left in the season so rather than continuing to say Colin Quinn isn't funny enough to even be called a poor man's Norm MacDonald, I'm gonna keep an open mind.  I'm gonna try to give Colin Quinn a fair shake.  After all, it wasn't his fault.  He wasn't whispering in Don Ohlmeyer's ear to get Norm fired.  Side story, I just did a Google search to find the correct spelling of Ohlymeyer and the first result was "The Man Who Fired Norm MacDonald Dies", just goes to prove that you can live a rich and full life but if you make one decision that pisses off a generation of comedy nerds that is what's going on your tombstone.  Just something to look forward to, Jeff Zucker.

For his first outing, Quinn wasn't that bad.  His opening comparison to him being behind the desk with missing your favorite bartender was cute.  His jokes were pretty funny too but there was a comic timing missing.  I never found Quinn very funny.  He's not terrible and I'm sure there are many situations where he is the funniest guy in the room but when it came to SNL, he was not a good fit.  He can't do impressions, his characters all sound the same and every sketch he's in sounds like the exact same voice.  I'm unsure how good he was as a writer but he was considerably lacking when it came to onscreen charisma.  I did jot down some of his best jokes.

Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn wrote their own wedding vows.  Woody said 'The heart wants what it wants' while Soon-Yi said 'Me love you long time'.
OJ Simpson was quoted saying that if he killed his wife it would be because he loved her too much.  He also said that if he had killed Ron Goldman it would be because he accidentally witnessed him loving her too much.
Jerry Seinfeld is leaving his sitcom due to a want to return to stand up.  In a related story, Tony Danza is leaving his sitcom due to it being cancelled and all the furniture being taken from his office.

Harry Caray is here with a look back at 1997.  It was quite a year, some good stuff, some bad stuff.  Mother Teresa died which wasn't good, unless you hated her.  Harry was not a fan himself.  Mike Tyson bit a man's ear.  Harry doesn't understand the hoopla as he's done the same thing on several occasions.  In Scotland they cloned a sheep which Harry is not happy with as he would rather clone a hot dog.
"Think of the possibilities, Norm.  Hey, what's going on?"
He goes on to imagine a world with an endless supply of hot dogs.  They would become our currency.  20 hot dogs would equal roughly a nickel.  Harry continues to be confused to the anchor change.
"Hey Norm, did you gain weight?"
He asks Colin if he would eat himself if he were a hot dog.  Colin eventually agrees to the hypothetical premise which Harry says is a wise choice.
"If you would have said no I would have bitten your ear off."

Ben Folds Five

"Brick"

Another reason I taped this episode, Ben Folds Five.  A friend of mine let me borrow their album, Whatever And Ever Amen, and it immediately went on my Christmas list.  I listened to it incessantly and while Brick is a fantastic song and probably the best song about driving your girlfriend to get an abortion ever, it is not a good indicator of the album.  The rest of the album is fun and upbeat and full of incredibly catchy songs.  That's kind of the reason I was let down for this performance, they were a really fun band but this ballad is a downer and the set was pretty dull.

Titanic

4 Stars

Two 5th class passengers await their turn to flee the sinking Titanic

The Titanic has just hit the iceberg and Will is ushering 1st class passengers to the lifeboats, followed by 2nd class.  Jackson and Tracy come up to inquire when 5th class is going to be evacuated.  Will was unaware that the boat had a 5th class but assures them that their time will come.  They pop a squat on some deckchairs and await their turn.  Will announces 1st class, 2nd class, 3rd class, 1st and 2nd class luggage, 1st class pianos, stowaways, pieces of the ship and the iceberg and empty lifeboats.
"Hey, you forget something?"
"Oh yes.  I almost forgot.  All deckchairs."
They take the chairs away that they are sitting on and we cut to a bar 3 months later where Samuel and Tracy are telling Tim the amazing story of their escape.

"I noticed a lot of frozen white folks in the water so we tied them all together and made a dead white folks boat."
They called it the H.M.S. Honky Dory and it was big enough to include a shuffleboard court and a pool.

Mango

3 Stars

Mango hypnotizes a gangster

Jackson is taking Tim and Tracy out to a strip club to celebrate but quickly find that they are in the wrong bar when Mango comes out to dance.  As they get up to leave, Mango works his mojo on Jackson and hypnotizes him.  The next night, Jackson is roughing up some competition but stops to dream of Mango.  Later that week he is paying his crew but pauses to fantasize about Mango slapping his ass.  We then cut to Mango's dressing room where he is turning away a bunch of horny men.  Jackson barges in with a gun and tells Mango that he usually deals in stolen cars and drugs but the only thing he is addicted to now is Mango.  Jackson's energy made this fun to watch but this was a carbon copy of the last time we saw Mango in the Brendan Fraser episode.

The Learning Annex

2 Stars

Teachers at an adult education program get interviewed

Will is interviewing 3 instructors from The Learning Annex, for some reason, it's never quite clear.  Ana is the teacher of Germ Free European Travel, Jackson teaches How To Make Money Pretending You're A Preacher and Molly is her Helen Madden character who teaches a class as a licensed "joyologist".  A semi-interesting sketch turned into a Molly Shannon character piece and then reverted back when the focus didn't stay on her but moved back to the other instructors and questions from the audience.  It had a couple funny bits but was more lame than anything else.

Poolside Lovin'

1 Star

A porn movie gets real when one of the actors gets emotional

This could have been a really great sketch but instead of exploring the world of how this porno movie universe would react to real world complications they double down on the sad.  Jackson, Molly, Cheri and Kattan are about to 'get it on' but Kattan looks rather despondent.  When they ask him what's wrong he says that his dad died suddenly this morning.  Jackson at first seems supportive but he is singularly focused on getting it on.
"What a tragedy.  I'm sorry to hear that.  Now let's get it on."
Kattan regretfully says that he can't get it on today and urges the other three to call their parents before it's too late.  They try to cheer him up by telling him that his dad would probably want him to get it on.  He begins to go along with the plan to get it on but cries and leaves in tears.  Jackson tries to get it on with the two ladies but their mood has also been ruined.  They leave and he calls his dad to tell him he loves him.  I would argue that this is a terrific premise to a sketch.  Not to get too graphic but have you ever been watching a porno and someone says something so bizarre that it immediately takes you out of the fantasy?  People are getting it on and then you see or hear something that completely breaks the illusion and you're suddenly seeing this for what it really is, sad people having sex for money in front of a camera crew.  Instead of exploring any real avenues for comedy they seemed to think Kattan crying about his recently deceased father would elicit laughs.  It did not for me.

The show ends with a rerun of The Weston Collection

FINAL ANALYSIS

"I assure you, it's not a big ass food stamp"

Average

3.2 Stars

MVP

Tracy Morgan
Publisher's Clearing House Giveaway, Judge Judy, Titanic, Mango, The Learning Annex

Best Sketch

Titanic

Worst Sketch

Poolside Lovin'

How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It

This episode was pretty average but flowed nicely.  All the stinkers were buried toward the end and the best sketch was saved for after Update when I needed a pickup after remembering my crushed childhood with Colin Quinn.  Honestly, as far as the lineup of sketches went, I wouldn't change a thing.  I mean obviously I would have fought harder to keep Norm until the end of the season.  That's the part of this whole thing I understand the least.  Hindsight is 20/20 and I'm guessing nobody in charge thought there would be any backlash but why not finish the season and then quietly let Norm out of his contract?  You know, the way they've done it with everybody else.  Nobody would have given it a second thought and it would have given the show time to come up with a decent replacement rather than just throw whoever they had available out there.  This was a power trip, pure and simple, and it couldn't have been about OJ as we got an 'OJ is a murderer' joke from Colin right out of the gate.  This same exact thing happened to me a few years ago.  I was working at a job where I was under yearly contracts.  I had 3 months left to go and decided I wasn't coming back for another year.  Some guy got a bug up his butt and decided that he wanted me gone, went over everyone's head, got me fired and then everyone ended up hating him.  He was eventually fired a year later and the company apologized to me.  Lesson learned, just leave people alone.  Don't be a dick.
Host Analysis

Aside from Farley and Lovitz, Samuel L. Jackson was my favorite so far this season.  He committed to every character he played and his exuberant personality elevated the sketches he was in.  The Learning Annex would have tanked completely if it weren't for his hustling preacher character, Poolside Lovin' would have been a total disaster (even though it pretty much already was) if it weren't for him and he even made the same old, stale Mango sketch watchable.  The guy's been a dependable star for 25 years now, appearing in blockbuster after blockbuster, I'm kinda surprised this was his only hosting stint.
Final Thoughts

I was hesitant going into this one just because I knew it was going to bring up memories of turning on my favorite show and realizing some clown fired my favorite star but I had a good time with this one.  Not every sketch worked but it was an enjoyable experience.  Will Ferrell was the real unsung hero of this episode.  The moment he called Colin, Norm and then continued to do so put a tiny band-aid on a painful situation.  I recall that moment giving me hope when I was a kid.  I hadn't seen the infamous David Letterman interview or heard the story of why Norm was canned so part of me just thought, maybe Norm was sick.  He was still on the show.  I saw him in the Pulp Fiction sketch.  Wait, that wasn't live.  He wasn't in the building.  I know what happened.  Norm got a stomach flu and Colin just filled in for him last minute.  That's got to be it, right?

Up Next

Our second Norm-less outing is hosted by Buffy The Vampire Slayer star, Sarah Michelle Gellar with musical guest Portishead.