"I'm feeling a bit Pesci. I could or could not eat fish, I'm Pesci."
Cold Open: Pumping Up With Hans & Franz
2 Stars
Hans & Franz are on a mission to liberate Kuwait but are too late
Hans & Franz are on a camel in the Kuwaiti desert. They are there to engage Operation Muscle Storm until a local Arab tells them that the war is over. They taunt the Arab man and their camel. Then look into the camera to say, "We are not here to talk, we are here to say Live from New York...". I guess it's good that we finally got the answer to what Hans and Franz were up to during the Persian Gulf war? I'm wondering if this was a holdover from last week or something they threw together quickly because they didn't have anything else. It felt kind of unnecessary.
Jeremy Irons Monologue
3 Stars
Hans & Franz are on a camel in the Kuwaiti desert. They are there to engage Operation Muscle Storm until a local Arab tells them that the war is over. They taunt the Arab man and their camel. Then look into the camera to say, "We are not here to talk, we are here to say Live from New York...". I guess it's good that we finally got the answer to what Hans and Franz were up to during the Persian Gulf war? I'm wondering if this was a holdover from last week or something they threw together quickly because they didn't have anything else. It felt kind of unnecessary.
Jeremy Irons Monologue
3 Stars
Jeremy is trying to keep his mind off the Academy Awards
Jeremy's mind has been occupied as Monday he will be going to the Academy Awards ceremony where he's been nominated for Best Actor. He's trying to keep his mind on other things so he's taken up woodworking (he shows the candle holder he made that looks like an Oscar) and he also made the coat he's wearing (he turns around to display a big gold Oscar with "Vote for me" on the back). He's also taken up songwriting and he plays us a tune he wrote that details all his competition for the award. I love when SNL references the Oscars, it's like my two loves coming together.
Rerun of McIntosh Jr.
Jeremy's mind has been occupied as Monday he will be going to the Academy Awards ceremony where he's been nominated for Best Actor. He's trying to keep his mind on other things so he's taken up woodworking (he shows the candle holder he made that looks like an Oscar) and he also made the coat he's wearing (he turns around to display a big gold Oscar with "Vote for me" on the back). He's also taken up songwriting and he plays us a tune he wrote that details all his competition for the award. I love when SNL references the Oscars, it's like my two loves coming together.
Rerun of McIntosh Jr.
Office Party
2 Stars
Richmeister is sad to lose a coworker
It's a going away party for an employee and the drink station is right next to the copy machine. Everybody goes in to grab a beverage and Rich gives them all nicknames. Farley tries to make a copy of Victoria's butt which forces Richmeister to call security, Nealon has brought his gay lover, Sandler, to the party. Jeremy Irons plays the man who's leaving and makes one final copy for his friend before exiting, leaving Richmeister in tears. This is the 3rd Richmeister sketch and I am already tired of the character. This one doesn't even care about an ending either as it just fades out as Rich is crying and pulls out to G.E. Smith playing guitar.
Surprise Birthday Party
3 Stars
Sherlock Holmes proves impossible to surprise
Dr. Watson and friends are awaiting Sherlock Holmes's arrival for a surprise birthday party. As soon as he steps in the door he has deduced what is going on. He noticed a pair of galoshes by the door, a bend in the floorboards and footsteps on the rug to indicate where all his friends are hiding. He also successfully guesses all of his presents and figures out that the candles on his birthday cake are "Jokey Joke" candles. Everyone's fun is ruined. Points for a clever idea but everyone was so dry and stiff that it lost some of the humor. It could have used more gags. As it stands now it feels like a tongue-in-cheek episode of Masterpiece Theater.
We get a Deep Thoughts that posits a good story would be about a clown who is happy on the outside but sad on the inside who also has severe diarrhea.
Cowboy Song
Dr. Watson and friends are awaiting Sherlock Holmes's arrival for a surprise birthday party. As soon as he steps in the door he has deduced what is going on. He noticed a pair of galoshes by the door, a bend in the floorboards and footsteps on the rug to indicate where all his friends are hiding. He also successfully guesses all of his presents and figures out that the candles on his birthday cake are "Jokey Joke" candles. Everyone's fun is ruined. Points for a clever idea but everyone was so dry and stiff that it lost some of the humor. It could have used more gags. As it stands now it feels like a tongue-in-cheek episode of Masterpiece Theater.
We get a Deep Thoughts that posits a good story would be about a clown who is happy on the outside but sad on the inside who also has severe diarrhea.
Cowboy Song
1 Star
A guy sings a cowboy song
Phil, Dana and Jeremy sing a song about the cowboy life. I feel like this could be funny or maybe was supposed to be but Irons is so straight while he's singing that it just comes off as a British guy singing a cowboy song. I started glazing over a bit and might have missed some jokes but this was boring as all hell for me.
Fishbone
"Sunless Saturday"
Irons introduces Fishbone in a leather jacket, because he's hip. I gotta give it up for this performance. We haven't seen something this lively since Faith No More. The lead singer is running around the stage and doing flips. The keyboardist is spinning his keyboard around and playing while running in circles. There's a shirtless guy running around and pounding his fist while singing backup vocals. The song's not bad either. It ends with the lead singer conducting a trumpet solo. This was a heck of a lot of fun.
Weekend Update
"I like the one in the middle, she's cute. Think I'll try to make a little eye contact"
With the war over this segment got a little sillier. Noriega says he found Jesus in a Florida prison, Miller lets him know that every other guy in that jail is named Jesus. The LAPD says they found marijuana and alcohol in Rodney King's system, Miller says if he got pulled over by the LAPD he would want a morphine drip. The census got delayed because a guy started shouting random numbers as they were counting to 300 million.
Razor Ruddock stops by to talk about how the referee prematurely stopped his boxing match with Mike Tyson. As he starts to speak Miller abruptly cuts him off and ushers him away.
Chris Rock is here to talk about New Jack City, a movie he appears in that has been criticized for its violence. He clarifies that not one person was killed inside a theater, one guy got killed outside a theater but no violence has reported inside. He has some tips for how you can enjoy the film. Don't see the movie at night, if you go to get popcorn and somebody steals your seat, let it slide, stay low if shooting break out and return to your car in a zigzag fashion.
Accent
2 Stars
Women are enamored by a man's British accent
Irons is waiting for a gentleman at a bar when he is approached by Julia, Jan and Victoria. They continuously swoon over his accent and take turns getting him to say different things. They start with getting him to say their names then that he loves them then that he'll never love another woman as much as he loves them then that he thinks of them while he's with other women. It was good to see the women getting some airtime but other than that this was pretty one note. They keep getting him to say different things over and over again, then Farley comes out as another British chap and they swoon over him. We are in the midst of a real middling episode.
Wayne's World
3 Stars
Wayne and Garth announce their Oscar picks
It's Oscar time so it's time for some Oscar picks. The winner for Best Supporting Actor will be Joe Pesci, just because they like his name. They like it so much that they also name him Best Supporting Actress. Julia Roberts will win Best Actress because she's a mega babe, Gerard Depardieu is ugly, Dances With Wolves sucks and the foreign film nominee from Germany features a chick with "humongoid snoods".
Cellmate
2 Stars
Mace gets a new cellmate, Dr. Hannibal Lecter
The Silence Of The Lambs had only been out in theaters for a month at this point so it's understandable that this sketch makes less sense than it should. When Irons gets lead into a cell we are expecting all the Hannibal cliches we've grown accustomed to and Irons is just playing him as a British guy who is a brilliant psychologist. There's no mention of fava beans or even cannibalism. Instead, Phil plays his hoodlum character, Mace. He's in jail and having a candlelit dinner with his girlfriend (a wig on his hand) when Dr. Lecter comes in. He analyzes Mace to the point of tears and then ends up sharing a cigarette with Mace's hand date. Not a terrible sketch but it was slowly paced and Irons was fairly dull in his performance.
We get another Deep Thoughts where Jack tells us that when he feels like killing someone he does a little trick to calm himself down. He rings their doorbell and runs but leaves behind a Jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in it with a note that says 'You'. After that he feels better.
Buzz Pen
The Silence Of The Lambs had only been out in theaters for a month at this point so it's understandable that this sketch makes less sense than it should. When Irons gets lead into a cell we are expecting all the Hannibal cliches we've grown accustomed to and Irons is just playing him as a British guy who is a brilliant psychologist. There's no mention of fava beans or even cannibalism. Instead, Phil plays his hoodlum character, Mace. He's in jail and having a candlelit dinner with his girlfriend (a wig on his hand) when Dr. Lecter comes in. He analyzes Mace to the point of tears and then ends up sharing a cigarette with Mace's hand date. Not a terrible sketch but it was slowly paced and Irons was fairly dull in his performance.
We get another Deep Thoughts where Jack tells us that when he feels like killing someone he does a little trick to calm himself down. He rings their doorbell and runs but leaves behind a Jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in it with a note that says 'You'. After that he feels better.
Buzz Pen
2 Stars
A new way to write down messages, write it in your hair
Tim can't find a pencil and paper to take a message so he grabs his Buzz Pen and writes it down in Rock's hair. We then get a couple of photos of black people with notes in their hair including a shopping list and directions. Razor Ruddock also endorses it. Not a terrible idea but, much like most of this episode, it is slowly paced.
Fishbone returns with "Everyday Sunshine" and now the lead singer has a saxophone. I like this song better than the first, and I liked the first one. Fishbone has really been a saving grace to this episode.
Looney Tunes Classics
Tim can't find a pencil and paper to take a message so he grabs his Buzz Pen and writes it down in Rock's hair. We then get a couple of photos of black people with notes in their hair including a shopping list and directions. Razor Ruddock also endorses it. Not a terrible idea but, much like most of this episode, it is slowly paced.
Fishbone returns with "Everyday Sunshine" and now the lead singer has a saxophone. I like this song better than the first, and I liked the first one. Fishbone has really been a saving grace to this episode.
Looney Tunes Classics
2 Stars
Some of your favorite opera pieces that you know from Looney Tunes episodes
Irons appears in a very well decorated set as opera music is playing. Brahm's Lullaby is playing but Irons tells us that we probably know it best as the song that plays as Elmer Fudd falls asleep while Daffy Duck is quieted by ropes and padlocks. Are you familiar with Hungarian Rhapsody by Franz Liszt? How about the song that plays when Bugs Bunny plays piano while he's trying to catch a mouse? If you like these songs then you should buy Looney Tunes Classics where you'll get songs like 'The Quack-Quack Song', 'Porky Pig Kept Away By An Alley Cat' and 'Foghorn Leghorn Is Banged Between Two Cymbals By A Barnyard Dog'. Irons sings 'Kill The Wabbit' as the sketch fades out. This was fine, even though Irons couldn't keep up with the onscreen graphics. I feel like I've seen it before though. I could have sworn I saw it on SNL. I tried to look for it but couldn't find it but I could swear that there was a Charles Rocket sketch in season 6 where they did almost this exact same bit.
Football Days
4 Stars
Irons appears in a very well decorated set as opera music is playing. Brahm's Lullaby is playing but Irons tells us that we probably know it best as the song that plays as Elmer Fudd falls asleep while Daffy Duck is quieted by ropes and padlocks. Are you familiar with Hungarian Rhapsody by Franz Liszt? How about the song that plays when Bugs Bunny plays piano while he's trying to catch a mouse? If you like these songs then you should buy Looney Tunes Classics where you'll get songs like 'The Quack-Quack Song', 'Porky Pig Kept Away By An Alley Cat' and 'Foghorn Leghorn Is Banged Between Two Cymbals By A Barnyard Dog'. Irons sings 'Kill The Wabbit' as the sketch fades out. This was fine, even though Irons couldn't keep up with the onscreen graphics. I feel like I've seen it before though. I could have sworn I saw it on SNL. I tried to look for it but couldn't find it but I could swear that there was a Charles Rocket sketch in season 6 where they did almost this exact same bit.
Football Days
4 Stars
Jack Handey remembers his childhood
Like a Deep Thoughts acted out, this was really funny. Young Jack is pulled aside by his football coach and told that his uniform is made out of towels and rags and his helmet is a toy space helmet. He was never a part of the actual team and when he shows up he either steals the ball and makes the team chase him or he tackles random people. Jack could sense that the coach saw some sort of raw talent in him that could be molded but that's when he felt the handcuffs go on.
FINAL ANALYSIS
Like a Deep Thoughts acted out, this was really funny. Young Jack is pulled aside by his football coach and told that his uniform is made out of towels and rags and his helmet is a toy space helmet. He was never a part of the actual team and when he shows up he either steals the ball and makes the team chase him or he tackles random people. Jack could sense that the coach saw some sort of raw talent in him that could be molded but that's when he felt the handcuffs go on.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Australia was colonized by murderers and buggers"
I usually don't comment on the 'Goodnights' but I thought it was worth mentioning that Jeremy Irons had a cigarette in his mouth the whole time and at one point the lead singer of Fishbone made Irons switch jackets with him. I'm really tempted to give Fishbone my MVP award.
Average
2.4 Stars
MVP
Phil Hartman
Office Party, Surprise Birthday Party, Cowboy Song, Cellmate
Announcer for Hans & Franz, Wayne's World, Deep Thoughts and Buzz Pen
Office Party, Surprise Birthday Party, Cowboy Song, Cellmate
Announcer for Hans & Franz, Wayne's World, Deep Thoughts and Buzz Pen
Best Sketch
Wayne's World
Worst Sketch
Cowboy Song
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
I don't know. Throw out everything and start completely from scratch? Definitely start with Wayne's World and move that stupid Cowboy Song to the end of the night. Also move Buzz Pen to after the monologue. I'm a stickler, commercial parodies go right after the monologue. When I see them late in the show they feel like filler, also I saw McIntosh Jr. already.
Host Analysis
At least he didn't try to be funny and fail...but he could have at least tried.
At least he didn't try to be funny and fail...but he could have at least tried.
Final Thoughts
I'll have to wait until the end of the season to make my final judgment but this might top Jimmy Smits as the worst of the season. Irons was stiff but there were no good sketches for him anyway. So it's not like if Jeremy Irons was a funnier host the show would be any good. This was quite frankly a bummer to watch from start to finish.
Up Next
Here's a bit of good news, Catherine O'Hara hosts after two pretty lame episodes it will be nice to see an actual comedian at the helm.
Was gonna ask when this one would be up and up it pops lol,BTW have you thought about doing season 13 or 17 next I know you got a few left here to go
ReplyDeleteI was thinking 17. I'm interested to see how Spade and Sandler deal with more airtime plus Kevin Nealon's first year as Update anchor.
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