"I loved it. It was much better than Cats. I'm going to see it again and again."
Cold Open: It Was All A Dream
Unrateable
Madonna explains what happened in season 11
As the host of last season's premiere, Madonna has been asked to read a statement from NBC that explains the entire last season.
"It was all a dream, a horrible, horrible dream."
I know it's supposedly all in good fun but this made me feel a little sad. After watching season 11, I can say that some people worked hard. Randy Quaid and Joan Cusack are surely not to blame for the lack of quality. Why not open the show with a burning of an effigy of Anthony Michael Hall?
As the host of last season's premiere, Madonna has been asked to read a statement from NBC that explains the entire last season.
"It was all a dream, a horrible, horrible dream."
I know it's supposedly all in good fun but this made me feel a little sad. After watching season 11, I can say that some people worked hard. Randy Quaid and Joan Cusack are surely not to blame for the lack of quality. Why not open the show with a burning of an effigy of Anthony Michael Hall?
Opening Credits
The cast seems to either be in a hurry to get to the show or running away from the camera crew, I can't tell. Dana Carvey invites us to sit at the bar, Nora Dunn is busy talking to someone over drinks, Phil Hartman is taking a phone call, Jan Hooks is excited for something she sees off screen, Victoria Jackson slides into a table, Jon Lovitz and Dennis Miller are both laughing at something at a bar. A. Whitney Brown and Kevin Nealon both have their names quickly read by Don Pardo as their picture flashes on screen.
Sigourney Weaver Monologue
2 Stars
2 Stars
Weaver and Christopher Durang explain their love of Bertolt Brecht
Weaver comes out in an exceptionally 1980s outfit. It's a sparkly pantsuit with a plunging neckline that include a collar and tie. It was a different time. She's excited because Aliens was a big hit over the summer and she's got a new movie coming up called Half Moon Street where she appears mostly naked. She has brought a friend with her, playwright Christopher Durang, and the main reason they wanted to do the show is because of their love of Bertolt Brecht. They uncomfortably read off cue cards for a while and just as they are about to launch into a Brecht opera we cut to the control room as they quickly throw to commercial. This was landing with the live audience as there were a lot of chuckles coming from the crowd. Maybe they were all big Brecht fans, I didn't get it.
Commercial: General Dynamics
Weaver comes out in an exceptionally 1980s outfit. It's a sparkly pantsuit with a plunging neckline that include a collar and tie. It was a different time. She's excited because Aliens was a big hit over the summer and she's got a new movie coming up called Half Moon Street where she appears mostly naked. She has brought a friend with her, playwright Christopher Durang, and the main reason they wanted to do the show is because of their love of Bertolt Brecht. They uncomfortably read off cue cards for a while and just as they are about to launch into a Brecht opera we cut to the control room as they quickly throw to commercial. This was landing with the live audience as there were a lot of chuckles coming from the crowd. Maybe they were all big Brecht fans, I didn't get it.
Commercial: General Dynamics
1 Star
A commercial for...something?
What I understood less than the monologue is the commercial they hastily cut to afterwards. A man and a woman are flirting next to a car. The camera keeps cutting to close ups of different things like her mouth or his jeans. Then Phil Hartman reads the tagline, "General Dynamics: The Leader in Laser Guided Defense Technology". I have no idea what this means. Maybe the joke is that it's a nonsensical commercial for something you didn't expect? Maybe it's a topical reference that is lost on me 30 years later? I have no idea.
Girlfriends
3 Stars
Girlfriends
3 Stars
Tommy Flanagan tries to sweet talk his girlfriend after his mistress shows up
We're starting the season with an old favorite as Tommy Flanagan, last season's breakout character, returns. We start with Weaver and Nora Dunn gossiping. They are both dating Tommy but Sigourney is reluctant to accept this as Tommy has been nothing but honest with her. Like when he told her he came in 2nd at Wimbledon last weekend. Nora tells her that he was in Atlantic City with her last weekend and he bought her a new pair of earrings that look suspiciously like a pair that were stolen by burglars from Weaver. Tommy returns from his lunch with the President to find his two lovers. Nora gives Sigourney a note that Tommy left for her.
"Dear Laura, sorry about last night. That has never happened to me before, yeah, it was the first time, that's it, yeah, that is the ticket."
Tommy says that he didn't write the note because he doesn't talk like that and Sigourney is still skeptical because that happens to Tommy all the time. Everything is cleared up when Tommy explains that he is a secret agent and has a double who was investigating gambling in Atlantic City. This was fine but a bit of the same old, same old. We got Tommy so much last season that kicking off the new season with him just didn't seem fresh at all.
Quiz Masters
5 Stars
A psychic cleans up at a game show
Before Phil Hartman can explain the rules of the game or introduce the contestants, Dana buzzes in with the answer to the first question. He explains that the game has not yet begun and goes over to meet the contestants. Marge Keister works for Cracker Jack and Lane Maxwell is a professional psychic and the author of 'I Knew You Were Going To Buy This Book'.
"When I was about 9."
"When did you realize you had this amazing pow...? Hey!"
Lane starts to sweep up at the game, getting the answers correct before the questions are read. Eventually he buzzes in with the answer 'A meteor', which is incorrect. He is confused as his premonitions are never wrong. Marge starts getting some answers correct until she is hit on the head by a meteor. This disqualifies her and Lane is pronounced the winner. This was a simple sketch that worked on all levels. It had fun characters and good performances and knew exactly where the joke was going and got out when it landed, literally.
The Amazing Alexander
"When I was about 9."
"When did you realize you had this amazing pow...? Hey!"
Lane starts to sweep up at the game, getting the answers correct before the questions are read. Eventually he buzzes in with the answer 'A meteor', which is incorrect. He is confused as his premonitions are never wrong. Marge starts getting some answers correct until she is hit on the head by a meteor. This disqualifies her and Lane is pronounced the winner. This was a simple sketch that worked on all levels. It had fun characters and good performances and knew exactly where the joke was going and got out when it landed, literally.
The Amazing Alexander
5 Stars
Commercial for a hypnotist's Broadway show
We get interviews with audience members who just left The Amazing Alexander's show. They all have the same thing to say
"I loved it. It was much better than Cats. I'm going to see it again and again."
The Amazing Alexander is the world's greatest hypnotist and his show has been selling out. Frank Rich of The New York Times was quoted as saying, "I loved it. It was much better than Cats. I'm going to see it again and again." This was cute, sweet, funny and short.
Hef-Tea Teabags
I don't have this sketch as it was cut from the reruns. Apparently it starred Sigourney Weaver as Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York. She plays her as a giant and the sketch used tiny sets and force perspective to make her look huge. It was deemed to be in bad taste and was cut from future airings. I instead got a filmed piece starring Rupert Everrett which I don't think was supposed to be funny.
Church Chat
3 Stars
The Church Lady interviews some possible Satanists
First episode of the season and Dana is already introducing what would become one of his most popular recurring characters. Her first guest is Christopher Durang, playwright or Satan worshiper? Durang doesn't believe in Satan which makes The Church Lady think he might be in cahoots with Satan. Her next guest is Sally Kellerman, played very well by Jan Hooks. Before she can explain her stance on Satan, Church Lady interrupts her.
"We like ourselves, don't we? Especially with our bosoms pressed together and offered forth for viewing of the chestal area."
The next guest is Ann Landers, played by Nora Dunn, she hates Satan and reads a letter from a woman worried that when she moves to Arkansas her husband's favorite bedroom activity is illegal. The Church Lady believes that the letter was actually written by Satan. Her final guest is Zuul and out comes Weaver as the Gatekeeper from Ghostbusters. She tells The Church Lady that she is the host of hell and looking for the keymaster. She kisses the stage manager and rides him as The Church Lady throws to the end of the show. Next week her guest will be Pat Boone, family man or Satan worshiper? This was fun but a little too long and repetitive. Once we get the joke that she thinks everything is fueled by Satan it just kind of repeats over and over again.
Weekend Update
"The results of our viewer's poll are in. A couple guys called, one dug it, one didn't."
Miller gets the guitar riff from 'Layla' as his theme music and introduces himself as Dennis Miller, Ms. Jackson if you're nasty. Most of his jokes are topical and don't hold up 30 years later, like a rant on Russia which is eerily still prevalent and a Nixon joke about his involvement with the Contras. Miller does throw in some silly things like Ben Kingsley starring in Crocodile Gandhi and with the realization that Columbus Day and Yom Kippur are falling on the same day he is gonna do things to a girl named Nina that he will need to atone for. He also unveils his new character, Koko, a French clown that specializes in pantomime. This was in response to people saying his impression and character skills were subpar. He mimes eating corn at a picnic. The one questionable bit in the segment involved Justine Bateman confirmed of being an alien. She has been kicked off Family Ties and replaced with Slappy White. I have no idea what this means.
Victoria Jackson just back from Reykjavik, Iceland. She has a film clip which is just her and her baby in the hotel. She also complains that the diapers in Iceland aren't leak proof. Miller is not happy with this report but Jackson defends herself saying she is a mother first, Christian second, wife and lover third, housekeeper fourth and fifth a news reporter. She's introducing her dumb blonde character that she would go on to play throughout her time on the show. She had a limited range but did excel in this capacity. Miller says she makes Gracie Allen seem like Margaret Mead. Miller definitely enjoyed his similes.
A. Whitney Brown returns with The Big Picture. He talks about Iceland and people writing their names in the snow. He mentions that Russia is still upset about selling the U.S. Alaska and went to blow the money on tea parties for Rasputin. This was way too topical for me and I started to lose interest. I remember when I was a kid, my dad loved A. Whitney Brown so I did too, because I loved everything my dad did. I don't get it now.
Mr. Subliminal
4 Stars
Mr. Subliminal
4 Stars
Mr. Subliminal talks his way into a promotion, a company car and a date with the boss's secretary
Mr. Subliminal is late for his meeting.
"He's gonna be mad, your fault. That's awful nice to share the blame, your fault."
"I think this was all my fault."
"That's okay, call me Phil, hot sex. You seem like the type of gal, hot sex, that I'd like to get to know better."
He goes into meet with his boss, Jon Lovitz, and in between what he's saying drops hints for Mets tickets, a company car, a promotion and a vacation. Lovitz plays an excellent straight man and goes along with all of the demands and Nealon is fun in what would become his signature role.
Alienses
"He's gonna be mad, your fault. That's awful nice to share the blame, your fault."
"I think this was all my fault."
"That's okay, call me Phil, hot sex. You seem like the type of gal, hot sex, that I'd like to get to know better."
He goes into meet with his boss, Jon Lovitz, and in between what he's saying drops hints for Mets tickets, a company car, a promotion and a vacation. Lovitz plays an excellent straight man and goes along with all of the demands and Nealon is fun in what would become his signature role.
Alienses
2 Stars
A group of space explorers discover an alien
This parody of Aliens seems like it was transcribed from an issue of MAD magazine. All the references from the film are here. Dana Carvey plays Bill Paxton who just screams the whole time, ending every sentence with "man", Dunn plays Private Vasquez in an exaggerated angry lesbian style, Miller is seen laying on the floor as the destroyed android, Bishop, Hartman starts to pretend that an alien is bursting from his chest, Weaver starts to take off her spacesuit for no reason. The space doors open and it's E.T. which they shoot dead. They decide to make up a story that he came in drunk and brandishing a gun. The sketch ends with a Don Pardo voice over saying that E.T. came back to life and harbors no bitterness to his attackers. This was pretty lame.
Ten Weeks In Jail
Ten Weeks In Jail
4 Stars
If you commit a murder, you're going to jail, no questions asked
Police detective Hartman tells us that every 3½ hours a murder is committed in New York City. He has a warning to anyone thinking about murdering anyone.
"If you commit a murder and get caught you're going to jail for 10 weeks, no plea bargains, no special deals. Something for you punks to think about."
This was short and sweet and funny. Hartman was a perfect straight man who could be hilarious delivering serious lines.
Baby It's Cold Outside
"If you commit a murder and get caught you're going to jail for 10 weeks, no plea bargains, no special deals. Something for you punks to think about."
This was short and sweet and funny. Hartman was a perfect straight man who could be hilarious delivering serious lines.
Baby It's Cold Outside
Buster Poindexter and Sigourney Weaver sing to each other
Sigourney and Buster Poindexter sing and act out 'Baby It's Cold Outside'. This is an unironic musical performance. It's not really a rateable segment. It's not even Christmas time, I'm not sure what this was doing in the show.
Comeback
Comeback
3 Stars
Derek Stevens plays what he's been working on
Derek Stevens meets with his record producers to talk about his new album. He was supposed to bring a demo tape but he instead is going to play it for them live. He plays them the track, 'The Lady I Know' which he seems to be making up as he goes along. He sings about a lady who went downtown to buy some broccoli. When she brought it home she chopped it up. The chorus repeats the phrase 'Chopping Broccoli' over and over in various incarnations. After he plays the song he leaves and the producers seem to like it. The performance by Carvey is fun and Hartman is funny in his looks of approval but the sketch doesn't have a lot of focus. It's never really clear if Carvey is making up the songs or is just a bad songwriter. Then the sketch just ends without any praise or comeuppance for his character. The sketch had a middle but needed a beginning and an end.
Buster Poindexter
Buster Poindexter
"Fool For You"
Buster sits on a stool and sings a love song. This is a 'what I'll do for love' type of song. It's slow but Buster still brings life to it with his performance. Not bad for the end of the night.
Brecht/Rogers Medley
1 Star
Weaver and Durang finally do their Brecht performance
In a continuation from the monologue, Weaver and Durang quickly set up a Brecht opera and then launch into a performance. Weaver sings 'Mack The Knife' then Durang starts putting Rolling Stones lyrics to the music, then they transition into 'Oklahoma!'. I was a theater nerd in college but this went over my head. They run a disclaimer saying that NBC does not share the same viewpoints as German expressionists. I had no idea what the hell this was.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Well, isn't that special?"
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Well, isn't that special?"
Average
3 Stars
MVP
Dana Carvey
Quiz Masters, Church Chat, Alienses, Comeback
Quiz Masters, Church Chat, Alienses, Comeback
Best Sketch
Quiz Masters
Worst Sketch
Brecht/Rogers Medley
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
My copy of this episode came from the repackaged rerun which has all the sketches jumbled up and includes a short film rather than the Hef-Tea Teabags sketch. My version probably flowed a little better as the Buster Poindexter bits were spaced out. Looking at the actual lineup, the back half of this episode was a mess. We started off strong with Tommy Flanagan, Quiz Masters and Church Chat but then things fall apart after Update. We get two Buster Poindexter performances, the really flat Brecht/Rogers medley, the half formed Alienses and a commercial parody. Speaking of commercial parodies, what the hell was that General Dynamics thing? Get rid of that and replace it with The Amazing Alexander. I also would have flopped Girlfriends and Comeback. It seemed weird to have the cold open say that last season sucked and then start the show with something from last season.
Host Analysis
Host Analysis
Weaver certainly seemed game for anything but most of the stuff she headlined I wasn't into. All the Durang stuff was a miss for me and that Aliens spoof was really lame. I really liked her energy in Church Chat and it provided a lift to that sketch when it needed it. I didn't get to see her as a giant Sarah Ferguson which is a shame because that just seems like a weird sketch.
Final Thoughts
Final Thoughts
So it was definitely a first outing so a lot of things can be excused. Although the cast seems to be working well together already and they started running right out of the gate. Dana Carvey was the standout as he brought out not only The Church Lady but Derek Stevens as well. Jon Lovitz cements himself as a dependable comedic force and straight man and everyone got a little chance to shine this week. I could have done without all of the Christopher Durang bits, I could have also done without Sigourney Weaver as she just took parts from Jan Hooks. The episode was fine, aside from all the musical bits, but did not instill me with a whole lot of faith. If I didn't know what would be become from this cast I would not be incredibly excited for what will follow.
Up Next
Up Next
The second episode of the season is hosted by Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Theo Huxtable from The Cosby Show. Which for some reason they don't show on TV anymore.
A very detailed analysis keep up the good work
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