"More wood?"
Cold Open: Halley's Comet
2 Stars
Reagan refuses to react to Halley's Comet changing courses
Lithgow is a mad scientist who, with the help of his assistant played by Downey, notices that Halley's Comet is headed straight to Earth. He calls up President Reagan on the video phone to warn him and launch a nuclear warhead. Reagan refuses because if America releases any of their nuclear weapons the Soviets might see it as a weakness. Lithgow laments that all life will be exterminated shortly but can take consolation in the fact that for the next 90 minutes they will all be live...from New York.... It's kind of a lame throw to the sign on but I liked the energy and it was a simple and short way to start the show.
John Lithgow Monologue
John Lithgow Monologue
5 Stars
Lithgow mistakenly thinks that this is the dress rehearsal
Lithgow comes out and assures the audience that even though this is just the dress rehearsal the show will still be fun. It will probably be better because he's so nervous to be on live TV that he'll probably be looser here. He recounts a story about his first play where he forgot his lines, froze and just started to sing 'Getting To Know You'. Director Dave Wilson butts in to tell Lithgow that this is in fact the live show. That's impossible because Lithgow's wristwatch says 8:35, which is LA time, he forgot to reset it. Lithgow does some nervous pantomime for a good beat before meekly singing 'Getting To Know You'. I'm getting excited for the show now, there aren't many people I would like to spend an hour with more than John Lithgow and he seems to have brought his A game.
Rerun of Where You're Going
Posterior Arthropod
Rerun of Where You're Going
Posterior Arthropod
4 Stars
An irritable man goes to the doctor and makes an amazing discovery
Lithgow is having breakfast. He complains to his wife that his coffee is cold, he complains to his son that he hasn't cut the grass, he's anxious about his doctor appointment, he's rude to his secretary, this is a lot of set up to get to the joke that he has a literal bug up his ass but the payoff is satisfying. The audience erupts in laughter as Lovitz puts on gloves and Lithgow assumes the position and I joined them when the camera cut to Lithgow's face during the operation. Lovitz pulls a bug out of Lithgow and the look of joy on Lithgow's face afterwards is priceless. Lovitz then addresses the camera to urge you to get checked if you have any symptoms that you might have a bug in your butt. I almost wanted the sketch to start here. A guy walks into a doctors office is all you really need. The preamble of him at home and work was a bit unnecessary but the payoff was effective and it was funny even if it just a joke about things going into people's butts.
Master Thespian
Master Thespian
5 Stars
Master Thespian welcomes his mentor, Boudelaire
Master Thespian is awaiting his mentor for today's acting lesson, costumes. Lithgow enters dressed as a king but he's not really a king, he's Boudelaire, he was just "Acting!". They re-enact the sword fight from Hamlet, Lovitz ends up dying in Lithgow's arms, Lithgow cries, they were both just "Acting!". If you've seen one Master Thespian sketch you've seen them all, but this was the first. I liked this sketch for 2 reasons, 1, it's just a funny character with two funny performances, 2, since it was the first one, I was ahead of the audience. The audience wasn't reacting to the catchphrases. It felt like I was listening to a bootleg recording of The Beatles, not to compare Master Thespian to The Beatles, but you get my point. There weren't any applause breaks when either of them said "Acting!", this was just the sketch stripped down to its bare essentials.
Double R Rolls
1 Star
Rudy Randolph Jr. tries to unload his Rolls Royces
Quaid introduces himself as that guy from the news who bought a bunch of Rolls Royces. So he has a large collection and is now going to pass the savings on to you by selling them at a discount. A car that normally sells for $150,000 will go for $145,000. Get it? He's dumb. Downey comes in as his son and he's dumb too. I didn't like this at all and kept thinking that I was missing something, like this was based on a news story at the time. How come every time I don't get a sketch I immediately assume that it's based on fact? It could just be a crappy sketch.
Mr. Mister
Quaid introduces himself as that guy from the news who bought a bunch of Rolls Royces. So he has a large collection and is now going to pass the savings on to you by selling them at a discount. A car that normally sells for $150,000 will go for $145,000. Get it? He's dumb. Downey comes in as his son and he's dumb too. I didn't like this at all and kept thinking that I was missing something, like this was based on a news story at the time. How come every time I don't get a sketch I immediately assume that it's based on fact? It could just be a crappy sketch.
Mr. Mister
"Broken Wings"
Wait a minute, this song is really boring. I don't know why I always thought it was great. I was tempted many times to skip through this.
Commercial: Ad Council
Wait a minute, this song is really boring. I don't know why I always thought it was great. I was tempted many times to skip through this.
Commercial: Ad Council
5 Stars
A generic pitchman says generic things
You don't really know what this is until the final joke which was well worth the wait. A guy in a suit is walking and talking, first about financial planning but that transitions to energy dependency then hay fever then living in a good neighborhood, before cracking open a refreshing soda. He then walks off with some kids and we get the title card graphic. "The Ad Council: Wasting Your Time In Various Ways For No Good Reason". Whoever played the spokesperson was spot on. He was hilarious at not playing the joke and just being a sincere commercial pitchman.
Cliches
Cliches
2 Stars
A father talks to his daughter using only metaphors, cliches and similes
Cusack is trying to have a heart to heart with her dad about her pending divorce. Lithgow only uses cliches.
"That's what fathers are for. When you're at the end of your rope, your back up against the wall, barely able to keep your head above water, going down for the third time."
That's basically the sketch, it's not that funny, Cusack blows up at her dad at the end and he promises to be more sincere. Then he gets her name wrong. This was less of a sketch and more like a little play, once you understood the premise of the cliches it was over and I'll probably never remember this.
Weekend Update With Dennis Miller
"Well they switched mailmen on me"
I'm trying to take notes to write down my favorite jokes but I keep finding myself writing, "I want to skip this". Miller is just a little too quick for me, not like he's smart, I mean he speaks quickly. I'm not sure when one joke ends and another begins. The one joke I laughed at was just a picture of Ronald Reagan pardoning a turkey but he was standing behind it in a way that looked like he was having sex with it. Miller makes a comment about stuffing the turkey. It wasn't a great joke, but it made me smile. Then Damon Wayans shows up to do basically the same bit he did last time he was on Update. He talks about economics and finances but does it in a hip streetwise way. The whole segment was very forgettable.
Vegas Nancy
Vegas Nancy
3 Stars
Nancy Reagan daydreams of what her like could have been
Ronald is getting something explained to him while Nancy drifts off. She thinks about what her life would have been had she never gotten married. She then does a Vegas lounge act set to 'That Old Black Magic' surrounded by shirtless men. I first started watching this as some kind of political commentary but then settled in to just watching a drag show. Terry Sweeney is a very fun performer and he is just shaking his stuff in a dress, there's really nothing more to this than that but it was fun and enjoyable. I always like when they throw in a comment about how the show is live too as after the routine Sweeney is out of breath and you can see the Vegas outfit under his jacket.
Sam Kinison
Ronald is getting something explained to him while Nancy drifts off. She thinks about what her life would have been had she never gotten married. She then does a Vegas lounge act set to 'That Old Black Magic' surrounded by shirtless men. I first started watching this as some kind of political commentary but then settled in to just watching a drag show. Terry Sweeney is a very fun performer and he is just shaking his stuff in a dress, there's really nothing more to this than that but it was fun and enjoyable. I always like when they throw in a comment about how the show is live too as after the routine Sweeney is out of breath and you can see the Vegas outfit under his jacket.
Sam Kinison
1 Star
Special Guest Comedian
Kinison screams a lot and that's all I really have to say. This must be what they call alternative comedy, meaning it is literally the alternative to comedy. I watched this completely stone faced. If Kinison is your bag when it comes to stand up, have fun with that, but I didn't crack a smile during this.
U.S.S. Cameron
Kinison screams a lot and that's all I really have to say. This must be what they call alternative comedy, meaning it is literally the alternative to comedy. I watched this completely stone faced. If Kinison is your bag when it comes to stand up, have fun with that, but I didn't crack a smile during this.
U.S.S. Cameron
2 Stars
The crew forgets their demands during a mutiny
Lithgow is the captain and enjoying his meal when his crew barges in. It's a mutiny. Quaid tells Downey to list the demands they have but Downey can't remember them, he goes to Lovitz who is actually pretty happy. Downey thinks that maybe they could use more wood on the ship which is a complaint confirmed by writer John Swartzwelder, who makes a cameo as a deckhand. They decide to leave and come back with a list. They return and all their demands are shot down by Captain Lithgow. Quaid leaves and gets the rug stuck under the door as he exits, which is the only time I really laughed during the sketch.
The Limits Of The Imagination
3 Stars
An all you can eat buffet is wrongly advertised
Quaid introduces this as a floating head. It's the same joke as last time, we control the horizontal and the vertical, we can make my image blurry, we can make me do a Clark Gable impression. We then go to an all you can eat fish fry where Cusack and Downey are happily stuffed. Their waitress comes over and tells them that this isn't an "All you want to eat" fish fry it's an "All you can eat" fish fry. We then pull out to a bunch of waiters force feeding customers. It's a fairly terrifying image to see people who don't want to eat anymore being force fed more food. I was expecting a cameo from Mr. Creosote or to see some vomit but luckily the sketch ends before that can happen. I don't mind these random ideas at the end of the night. This was short and effective.
FINAL ANALYSIS
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Mmm, that's crackling good"
Average
3 Stars
MVP
Jon Lovitz
Posterior Arthropod, Master Thespian, U.S.S. Cameron, The Limits Of The Imagination
Posterior Arthropod, Master Thespian, U.S.S. Cameron, The Limits Of The Imagination
Best Sketch
Master Thespian
Worst Sketch
Double R Rolls
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
The only sketch I would move down in the lineup would be Cliches. This was a real momentum killer but if it had swapped places with U.S.S. Cameron it may have been a cute little sketch at the end of the night rather than a really mediocre one before Update. You could also lose Sam Kinison and I would be fine with that.
Host Analysis
Man, has there ever been a better showman than John Lithgow? The guy is terrific in practically everything he does. When he's in good things he is great and when he is in bad things he elevates it to at least watchable. Check out the movie Raising Cain to see a crazy bad film that almost becomes a classic just because of his performance.
Final Thoughts
This was a pretty consistently good episode. There were a few stinkers mixed in but on the whole I really enjoyed myself. 4th episode in to a notoriously crappy season, I have not had a lot of bad things to say so far, other than the contorted facial expressions of Robert Downey Jr. This season is either going to be a mixed bag, a diamond in the rough or get real bad real quick and I'm anxiously awaiting which one of those is going to happen.
Up Next
Future 5 timer and President of the world Tom Hanks hosts for the first time with musical guest Sade. High hopes for another good episode.
No comments:
Post a Comment