“Had sex, undressed, saw her boobies and the rest”
Cold Open: Christmas Eve In Washington D.C.
4 Stars
Democrats fantasize about their dream headlines for 2011. Obama wants Sarah Palin to run against him, Hilary Clinton wants pantsuits to come back, Rahm Emmanuel wants Entourage to be renewed forever, Nancy Pelosi longs for an all gay military, and Joe Biden wishes a gorilla could dunk a basketball. Fun facial acting from everyone specifically Jason and Vanessa during her very brief tenure as resident Hilary Clinton. I really wish I could have seen Vanessa’s Hilary take on Trump in the debates.
Jeff Bridges Monologue
Man…Jeff Bridges is so high he thinks he’s singing a duet with Cookie Monster instead of just plucking a broom next to his water heater. But seriously, this was very random.
A Message From Mark Zuckerberg
Andy as Mark Zuckerberg is interrupted, for the third episode in a row, by Julian Assange. I like Bill’s performance but I’m getting a little tired of it. Same tagline as the other two, “no matter how I die, it was murder”.
The Miley Cyrus Show
3rd Miley Cyrus Show and it definitely feels like we’re going through the motions at this point. Jeff comes out as Nick Nolte which doesn’t add much.
I Just Had Sex
The Lonely Island and Akon team up for an all-time banger of a song. Jessica Alba, Blake Lively, and John McEnroe cameo in this music video celebrating the women who let us put our penis inside of them. This is one of my favorites and to this day is on most of my playlists.
Larry King Live
Larry King is doing one last show after his farewell show with his favorite guests Jermaine Jackson, The Judds, and Dog The Bounty Hunter. I’ve always disliked Fred’s Larry King but this did give me Jeff Bridges as Dog the Bounty Hunter singing My Way which is something I didn’t even know I wanted.
Crunkmas Karnival!
DJ Supersoak and Lil Blaster promote a festival with performances by Dump, Homeless Wedding, Boyz II Dicks, Mary Poopins, Koko B. Ware, Pizza The Hut, C. Everett Koop in a mayonnaise fight, and loose hawks flying all over this bitch
Eminem & Lil Wayne
"No Love"
Weekend Update
In somewhat of an homage to Tarzan, Tonto, and Frankenstein we’re treated to O Christmas Tree sung by Stefon, Snooki, and Gov. David Paterson.
This You Call A Wonderful Life?!
Jeff'd
I was gonna call this a retread of the Maya Angelou prank sketch but I forgot this came first. Shows me for watching seasons out of order. It is a tad similar to Tim McGraw’s country phony calls from Season 34. Jeff plays innocent pranks on his friends Sam Elliott, Forrest Whitaker, and Billy Bob Thornton. More cute than funny, seeing Jeff surprise Maggie Gyllenhaal with roses is surprisingly not gut-busting.
Eminem & Lil Wayne return with "Won't Back Down" and "6'7""
General Store
Kristen and Jeff play weird gift wrappers in an old-timey general store. They stop a holdup with their wrapping prowess. So whatever the hell Jeff is doing in this sketch is interesting and entertaining but this sketch is a bit of a dud.
A Holiday Message From The Kardashians
The Kardashians wish a Merry Christmas to all their fans, Happy Hanukkah to their agents, and Happy Kwanza to their boyfriends.
FINAL ANALYSIS
“If I got this for Christmas I’d shoot stuff outta my fanny”
Average
3 Stars
MVP
Jason Sudeikis
Christmas Eve In Washington D.C., The Miley Cyrus Show, Crunkmas Karnival!, This You Call A Wonderful Life?!, Jeff’d, General Store
Best Sketch
I Just Had Sex
Worst Sketch
This You Call A Wonderful Life?!
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
I would put Jeff’d in the front half and swap it with Crunkmas Karnival just because Jeff doesn’t have much to do until the end of the night. I would also move the Julian Assange piece down a bit, felt weird as a lead-off.
Host Analysis
Having just watched his Season 8 episode I think we can file Jeff away as a great actor who’s just not that funny. He really only went balls out comedy in the General Store sketch which worked because it was so bizarre. This show was certainly better than his first although that one had a shirtless brother on brother rubdown so I guess we can call it a draw.
Final Thoughts
A fine episode but fairly unmemorable. The only things I remembered from my original watch back in 2010 was Jeff’d. I forgot that I Just Had Sex came from this one as I probably will by the end of the season. A lot of repeats mixed with new stuff that isn’t that good. Since we’re at the end of the calendar year let’s do another newbie check-in. Vanessa is in the lead for sketch appearances and has arguably had the highest profile of the freshman. She’s Miley Cyrus and Hilary Clinton plus she’s been doing solid work as random person in sketch with one or two lines. Jay has the least amount of appearances but they’ve all been singularly focused on his impression ability so I could see a case for him to be in first place. I imagine a casual viewer would say something along the lines of “I like that guy who does Will Smith and Denzel” even if he’s barely on the show otherwise. Paul and Taran are definitely bringing up the rear. I don’t remember Taran having such a slow start but he’s got Les Jeunes de Paris and a few solid impressions under his belt. Paul’s season has been a little stronger just due to “Sex Ed” Vincent but there’s been plenty of times where he popped up in a sketch and I remembered “Oh right, Paul’s on this season” so that ain’t good. But he did get to say his name next to Paul Rudd and Paul McCartney so I’ll give him the edge over Taran for now.
Up Next
We enter 2011 with Jim Carrey and The Black Keys
Bill had a panic attack doing that Julian Assange.
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