"Son of a vondruke"
Cold Open: NBC Special Report
Cold Open: NBC Special Report
2 Stars
Elian Gonzalez gives a press conference
Kattan plays Elian Gonzalez, a young Cuban refugee who is involved in a custody crisis between The United States and Cuba. He does some bits about the differences between Cuba and Miami which feels like a leftover Yakov Smirnoff routine. He ends by singing 'The Boy Without A Country' before screaming "Live from New York...". Definitely loses a little something 20 years later but I don't think this was too hilarious at the time either.
Freddie Prinze Jr. Monologue
Kattan plays Elian Gonzalez, a young Cuban refugee who is involved in a custody crisis between The United States and Cuba. He does some bits about the differences between Cuba and Miami which feels like a leftover Yakov Smirnoff routine. He ends by singing 'The Boy Without A Country' before screaming "Live from New York...". Definitely loses a little something 20 years later but I don't think this was too hilarious at the time either.
Freddie Prinze Jr. Monologue
3 Stars
The cast is gonna do the show despite a flu epidemic
As the opening credits roll I notice that Don Pardo has very little energy when reading the cast's names. Then Freddie announces that everyone has the flu. Lorne threatens to run The Best Of Rob Schneider but the cast wants to muscle through it. Tim has 105 degree fever, Molly is giving out flu shots in a daze without changing needles, Ana isn't sick because she refuses to be touched, Tracy tries to blame his VD symptoms on the flu and Will vomits on Freddie, twice.
Colonel Belmont's Old Fashioned Horse Glue
As the opening credits roll I notice that Don Pardo has very little energy when reading the cast's names. Then Freddie announces that everyone has the flu. Lorne threatens to run The Best Of Rob Schneider but the cast wants to muscle through it. Tim has 105 degree fever, Molly is giving out flu shots in a daze without changing needles, Ana isn't sick because she refuses to be touched, Tracy tries to blame his VD symptoms on the flu and Will vomits on Freddie, twice.
Colonel Belmont's Old Fashioned Horse Glue
3 Stars
Glue made the old fashioned way
Langford T. Belmont likes to make glue the way it out to be done, out of horses. It takes 4 fully grown horses to make just one bottle but that's the price you pay for quality. So next time you're fixing a refrigerator magnet or building a popsicle stick house, grab a bottle of pure mutilated horse paste.
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Langford T. Belmont likes to make glue the way it out to be done, out of horses. It takes 4 fully grown horses to make just one bottle but that's the price you pay for quality. So next time you're fixing a refrigerator magnet or building a popsicle stick house, grab a bottle of pure mutilated horse paste.
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
3 Stars
A contestant calls it quits early
We get a lot of setup for this but once you get to the punchline it proves necessary. Regis Philbin goes through the fastest finger round, Will wins and answers the first question to win $100. Instead of going on with the show he decides to close up shop and walk away. Literally a one joke sketch and I guess it's good to get out quick but this is one of the rare sketches where I wanted more. I started thinking of a sketch from season 10 with Roy Scheider where he was selling Super Bowl tickets for a million dollars. He refuses to haggle, which is funny enough, but then we follow him home and see how his wife and kids feel about him. That's what I was wanting out of this.
Boy Band Blowout 2000
We get a lot of setup for this but once you get to the punchline it proves necessary. Regis Philbin goes through the fastest finger round, Will wins and answers the first question to win $100. Instead of going on with the show he decides to close up shop and walk away. Literally a one joke sketch and I guess it's good to get out quick but this is one of the rare sketches where I wanted more. I started thinking of a sketch from season 10 with Roy Scheider where he was selling Super Bowl tickets for a million dollars. He refuses to haggle, which is funny enough, but then we follow him home and see how his wife and kids feel about him. That's what I was wanting out of this.
Boy Band Blowout 2000
1 Star
A cute boy band plays two of their hit songs
I feel like boy band jokes must have been already stale in 2000. You could just dust off your old New Kids On The Block material and just change the names around. In fact, I just saw a sketch very similar to this in the Jason Priestley episode from season 17. All that aside, this isn't funny at all. They sing their songs "Girl, You're Still Phat With A P" and "AOL (All Our Love)". The songs aren't funny. They're all bad singers, is that the joke?
Jenny Craig
I feel like boy band jokes must have been already stale in 2000. You could just dust off your old New Kids On The Block material and just change the names around. In fact, I just saw a sketch very similar to this in the Jason Priestley episode from season 17. All that aside, this isn't funny at all. They sing their songs "Girl, You're Still Phat With A P" and "AOL (All Our Love)". The songs aren't funny. They're all bad singers, is that the joke?
Jenny Craig
4 Stars
Monica Lewinsky for Jenny Craig
Monica Lewinsky is doing a commercial for Jenny Craig and talking about the different foods you can eat. Of course, they are all phallic shaped like two apples and a cucumber. Not much to say about this, it's a short and to the point dick joke.
Models
Monica Lewinsky is doing a commercial for Jenny Craig and talking about the different foods you can eat. Of course, they are all phallic shaped like two apples and a cucumber. Not much to say about this, it's a short and to the point dick joke.
Models
2 Stars
Two guys score a date with some models
Jimmy and Freddie are waiting for their dates, two models they have never met. Surprise, they're ugly because they model for the before pics for liposuction and mole removal ads. Cheri and Rachel are fun here as the before models who are self confidant to a fault, Freddie and Jimmy as their potential suitors, not so much.
The Sopranos
Jimmy and Freddie are waiting for their dates, two models they have never met. Surprise, they're ugly because they model for the before pics for liposuction and mole removal ads. Cheri and Rachel are fun here as the before models who are self confidant to a fault, Freddie and Jimmy as their potential suitors, not so much.
The Sopranos
4 Stars
Gushing reviews for The Sopranos
Chris Parnell reads glowing reviews of The Sopranos that get more absurd. One critic says that Michelangelo looks like a douche bag compared to the guy who created The Sopranos. Another is afraid to look away because if it disappeared, he would kill himself. One just screams in orgasmic delight and another calls for the cast pictures to appear on our money.
Doctor's Office
Chris Parnell reads glowing reviews of The Sopranos that get more absurd. One critic says that Michelangelo looks like a douche bag compared to the guy who created The Sopranos. Another is afraid to look away because if it disappeared, he would kill himself. One just screams in orgasmic delight and another calls for the cast pictures to appear on our money.
Doctor's Office
5 Stars
A doctor breaks the news that he lost a baby
This is one of my favorite sketches of all time. I love the absurdity just for the sake of absurdity and it's one of the few times I feel that a cast member's laughter actually made the sketch a little more fun. Will breaks slightly in the middle of this sketch but you can tell it's just because he had a moment of clarity where he realized just how stupid this is. Molly and Parnell visit Dr. Beaman to get news about their baby. First the doctor tells them that their father will no longer have a human face but that's because he confused them for Funk and Blowfish Framingham. He then goes on to tell them that their son is a witch, which is backed up by Dr. Poop who does a mean robot dance. Then he fesses up to losing the baby at a BoDeans concert. Mr. Framingam forgives him and leaves to get busy with his wife making another one. All of this, plus a callback to a previous sketch as the doctor's receptionist is the model from the previous sketch.
Charlie Rose
This is one of my favorite sketches of all time. I love the absurdity just for the sake of absurdity and it's one of the few times I feel that a cast member's laughter actually made the sketch a little more fun. Will breaks slightly in the middle of this sketch but you can tell it's just because he had a moment of clarity where he realized just how stupid this is. Molly and Parnell visit Dr. Beaman to get news about their baby. First the doctor tells them that their father will no longer have a human face but that's because he confused them for Funk and Blowfish Framingham. He then goes on to tell them that their son is a witch, which is backed up by Dr. Poop who does a mean robot dance. Then he fesses up to losing the baby at a BoDeans concert. Mr. Framingam forgives him and leaves to get busy with his wife making another one. All of this, plus a callback to a previous sketch as the doctor's receptionist is the model from the previous sketch.
Charlie Rose
1 Star
Charlie Rose interviews Ricky Martin and Enrique Iglesias
Kattan plays Ricky Martin, a completely physical impression, and Freddie plays Enrique Iglesias. They both sing, Freddie keeps misting himself to look wet, this seems like it was just an excuse to showcase Kattan's impression which we saw a couple of episodes ago. Freddie, in his 3rd sketch appearance of the night, is proving to not have the greatest comic timing.
Weekend Update
Kattan plays Ricky Martin, a completely physical impression, and Freddie plays Enrique Iglesias. They both sing, Freddie keeps misting himself to look wet, this seems like it was just an excuse to showcase Kattan's impression which we saw a couple of episodes ago. Freddie, in his 3rd sketch appearance of the night, is proving to not have the greatest comic timing.
Weekend Update
"Is the world getting hotter, or is it just me?"
A lot of apologizing for the jokes after the punchlines this week. After one joke bombs, Colin tells the audience "Humor, folks". Just tell better jokes, or even better, deliver these jokes better. You have one thing to do in the show, get the marbles out of your mouth and nail those jokes.
There's been a lot of talk about Michael Douglas marrying Catherine Zeta-Jones, a woman 25 years his junior. In a related story, Cheri Oteri is set to marry a 4 year old. She shows pictures of them around town and at the beach and talks about how they love talking about juice together.
"Rich, old men get all the primo tail and I'm gonna marry a baby"
Macy Gray
"I Try"
Gifford Home
2 Stars
Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford have problems at all
Freddie comes over to teach Cody Gifford piano lessons and, as you'd expect, Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford are not having a terrific relationship at home. The scene plays out like Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf? with Kathie Lee trying to hit on Freddie while Frank mocks her. Good performances by both Cheri and Darrell as the Giffords. Freddie still lacks a certain on-screen charisma. I think this sketch may have worked better had they cut out the real world comparisons and just made this about two new characters.
Macy Gray returns with "Why Didn't You Call Me" which is another great song. We gotta do something about the placement of these musical guests though. We get a song, weak sketch, another song. Season 23 had it right by just cutting the second musical number unless the band was big enough to deserve two. Although this did possibly spare us from another Freddie Prinze Jr. sketch.
Flacko And Teddy's World of Martin Luther King Day Trees
Freddie comes over to teach Cody Gifford piano lessons and, as you'd expect, Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford are not having a terrific relationship at home. The scene plays out like Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf? with Kathie Lee trying to hit on Freddie while Frank mocks her. Good performances by both Cheri and Darrell as the Giffords. Freddie still lacks a certain on-screen charisma. I think this sketch may have worked better had they cut out the real world comparisons and just made this about two new characters.
Macy Gray returns with "Why Didn't You Call Me" which is another great song. We gotta do something about the placement of these musical guests though. We get a song, weak sketch, another song. Season 23 had it right by just cutting the second musical number unless the band was big enough to deserve two. Although this did possibly spare us from another Freddie Prinze Jr. sketch.
Flacko And Teddy's World of Martin Luther King Day Trees
3 Stars
Two guys came up with a genius business plan
Reminiscent of the Two Jones' from season 11, Freddie and Tracy are selling old Christmas trees and passing them off as Martin Luther King Day trees. Actually, they're not selling them. They are asking you to find old discarded streets in the alley and mailing them $50. Just as Martin Luther King Jr. said, "I have a dream, blah, blah, blah, buy a tree from these two guys on TV". This is probably the best Freddie has been all night, and by that I mean he was passable.
FINAL ANALYSIS
Reminiscent of the Two Jones' from season 11, Freddie and Tracy are selling old Christmas trees and passing them off as Martin Luther King Day trees. Actually, they're not selling them. They are asking you to find old discarded streets in the alley and mailing them $50. Just as Martin Luther King Jr. said, "I have a dream, blah, blah, blah, buy a tree from these two guys on TV". This is probably the best Freddie has been all night, and by that I mean he was passable.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"I'd like to stomp on his head until my foot's covered in brains"
Average
Average
2.75 Stars
MVP
Cheri Oteri
Monologue, Boy Band Blowout 2000, Models, Weekend Update, Gifford Home
Best Sketch
Monologue, Boy Band Blowout 2000, Models, Weekend Update, Gifford Home
Best Sketch
Doctor's Office
Worst Sketch
Boy Band Blowout 2000
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
First off, what's the deal with the musical guests this season. After Update it just feels like the show is running out the clock. Either move the first song to before Update and add another sketch in the back half or cut the second song altogether. Then I'm going back and forth on moving Doctor Beaman. On the one hand, you need something in the first half of the show to hold my interest but on the other hand, this is probably the purest 10-1 sketch I've ever seen. Might as well keep it where it is, if they saved it for the end I may have tuned out by that point.
Host Analysis
Host Analysis
Ummmmm...he had the stage presence of a wet dog? I guess he wasn't terrible but he was almost worse by just being the most bland host in recent memory. I think the show knew what they were dealing with this week by keeping him out of half the sketches.
Final Thoughts
Final Thoughts
This was like an episode fighting against itself. Everything without the host worked, everything with the host ranged from lackluster to forgettable. Which is why I would love for the show to have one episode a year without a host. No crazy actors to cater to, no star of the moment with no sense of comic timing, just an excuse to let loose some crazy ideas like Dr. Poop doing the robot.
Up Next
Tony award winner Alan Cumming hosts. Not sure what to expect as I only know him from his roles in GoldenEye and as Nightcrawler in X2. Oh, and of course, his role as Loki in the Jamie Kennedy classic Son Of The Mask.
Up Next
Tony award winner Alan Cumming hosts. Not sure what to expect as I only know him from his roles in GoldenEye and as Nightcrawler in X2. Oh, and of course, his role as Loki in the Jamie Kennedy classic Son Of The Mask.
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