"Upon seeing it, I instantly achieved an erection"
Cold Open: NRA Headquarters
5 Stars
A mass shooting at an NRA meeting
Damn it SNL, you got me. This episode starts out with the Spartan Cheerleaders and before I could say "Oh God, why?", we cut to a special report. A crazed lone gunman broke into an NRA meeting and started shooting, leaving everyone to ponder the irony. Will shows up as Charlton Heston to praise the gunman on his form. The gunman, Horatio, ends up getting a medal for his actions. When shooting breaks out again, everyone, including Tom Brokaw starts firing their guns wildly into the air and shouting "Yippee". I loved the social commentary of this sketch but it was also just filled with good gags. Cutting back to the Spartan Cheerleaders to say "Live from New York..." was unnecessary, it probably would have had more energy if all the gun toting maniacs screamed, but that's a minor quibble in a solid opening.
Garth Brooks Monologue
Damn it SNL, you got me. This episode starts out with the Spartan Cheerleaders and before I could say "Oh God, why?", we cut to a special report. A crazed lone gunman broke into an NRA meeting and started shooting, leaving everyone to ponder the irony. Will shows up as Charlton Heston to praise the gunman on his form. The gunman, Horatio, ends up getting a medal for his actions. When shooting breaks out again, everyone, including Tom Brokaw starts firing their guns wildly into the air and shouting "Yippee". I loved the social commentary of this sketch but it was also just filled with good gags. Cutting back to the Spartan Cheerleaders to say "Live from New York..." was unnecessary, it probably would have had more energy if all the gun toting maniacs screamed, but that's a minor quibble in a solid opening.
Garth Brooks Monologue
2 Stars
Mango has the hots for Chris Gaines
Garth starts talking about the musical guest, some guy named Chris Gaines who just cut his first record. He is interrupted by Mango and we flashback to the last time Garth hosted where he was hypnotized by the male dancer. Garth doesn't have any hard feelings and is glad Mango lifted the restraining order. Mango has moved on and now has a crush on Chris Gaines. A cute little call back to Garth's last outing but I just saw Mango last week. They must have known they were gonna do this and should have saved him.
Today Is Never Yesterday
Garth starts talking about the musical guest, some guy named Chris Gaines who just cut his first record. He is interrupted by Mango and we flashback to the last time Garth hosted where he was hypnotized by the male dancer. Garth doesn't have any hard feelings and is glad Mango lifted the restraining order. Mango has moved on and now has a crush on Chris Gaines. A cute little call back to Garth's last outing but I just saw Mango last week. They must have known they were gonna do this and should have saved him.
Today Is Never Yesterday
5 Stars
James Bond pays for his promiscuous lifestyle
James Bond visits his doctor who tells him that he has 107 different venereal diseases. 15 of which don't even have names and 3 are only found in sharks.
"You know, this watch can shoot laser beams."
"That's great James, but can it cure herpes? I mean, haven't you noticed the lesions? My God, the extreme discoloration? The erosion, for God's sake? The massive testicular swelling? Surely you're aware of the stench that even fills this room."
After telling the doctor that he's slept with 8,000 women in the last 5 years, the doctor tells him that he has a responsibility to call them all and tell them the news. Bond makes phone calls to Octopussy, Pussy Galore, Martha Stewart, Batman and Robin. A really great and simple premise with a great punchline. It got a little long in the tooth when Bond was making the phone calls just because we have already gotten the joke at that point, but it still provided a lot of laughs.
The Smurfs
James Bond visits his doctor who tells him that he has 107 different venereal diseases. 15 of which don't even have names and 3 are only found in sharks.
"You know, this watch can shoot laser beams."
"That's great James, but can it cure herpes? I mean, haven't you noticed the lesions? My God, the extreme discoloration? The erosion, for God's sake? The massive testicular swelling? Surely you're aware of the stench that even fills this room."
After telling the doctor that he's slept with 8,000 women in the last 5 years, the doctor tells him that he has a responsibility to call them all and tell them the news. Bond makes phone calls to Octopussy, Pussy Galore, Martha Stewart, Batman and Robin. A really great and simple premise with a great punchline. It got a little long in the tooth when Bond was making the phone calls just because we have already gotten the joke at that point, but it still provided a lot of laughs.
The Smurfs
4 Stars
Commercial for a miniseries about The Smurfs
A silly little commercial advertising an epic miniseries starring The Smurfs. Just an excuse to show off some celebrity impressions like Darrell's Sean Connery, Kattan's Al Pacino and Tracy's Little Richard and to have them all replace the word "Smurf" for other words.
Hickory Farms
A silly little commercial advertising an epic miniseries starring The Smurfs. Just an excuse to show off some celebrity impressions like Darrell's Sean Connery, Kattan's Al Pacino and Tracy's Little Richard and to have them all replace the word "Smurf" for other words.
Hickory Farms
3 Stars
Amorous Boston teenagers apply for a job
Hey, look, it's the first appearance of Pat and Denise, characters we will see 14 times and possibly counting as Jimmy loves making cameos on SNL and Rachel always seems to have free time. They make out, they laugh when things sound dirty, you know the routine. I'm going easy on this because it's the first one but I don't like these characters and they really weren't worth revisiting so many times. I did like Garth in this sketch though, he made a good straight man. Him telling Denise that she doesn't have the skills needed to hand out free bits of cheese made me laugh.
Backstage
Hey, look, it's the first appearance of Pat and Denise, characters we will see 14 times and possibly counting as Jimmy loves making cameos on SNL and Rachel always seems to have free time. They make out, they laugh when things sound dirty, you know the routine. I'm going easy on this because it's the first one but I don't like these characters and they really weren't worth revisiting so many times. I did like Garth in this sketch though, he made a good straight man. Him telling Denise that she doesn't have the skills needed to hand out free bits of cheese made me laugh.
Backstage
5 Stars
Tracy confronts Garth backstage
Garth is leaving the Hickory Farms sketch when he runs into Tracy who doesn't have a sketch this week but is ready to wave at the goodnights. Tracy doesn't know why Garth is hanging around with that Chris Gaines character. He thinks Chris is fat and a little fruity, or in Tracy's words "a weenie beenie bing bong freak who smokes meat cigars". This has one of my favorite Tracy moments of all time when Lorne interrupts them and Tracy yells in his face.
"Go get me a soda, bitch!"
Great Moments In Corporate History
Garth is leaving the Hickory Farms sketch when he runs into Tracy who doesn't have a sketch this week but is ready to wave at the goodnights. Tracy doesn't know why Garth is hanging around with that Chris Gaines character. He thinks Chris is fat and a little fruity, or in Tracy's words "a weenie beenie bing bong freak who smokes meat cigars". This has one of my favorite Tracy moments of all time when Lorne interrupts them and Tracy yells in his face.
"Go get me a soda, bitch!"
Great Moments In Corporate History
4 Stars
Board members introduce themselves at a merger
The companies of Warner And Lambert and American Home Product are on the cusp of a powerful merger. Will introduces his team, a total of 72 people. Will reads a painfully long list of names, pausing for a glass of water in the middle, and then Garth lets his team introduce themselves. When we pan to Rachel she flubs her name and says "Jonnifer Jenson" instead of Jennifer Johnson. Will immediately smells something fishy and calls the deal off. It's amazing how Will is able to get laughs just by blandly reading a list of names. I say this multiple times about sketches like this, I can't imagine the current cast doing something like this. You know Pete Davidson would giggle and completely ruin the whole thing.
Express Flowers
The companies of Warner And Lambert and American Home Product are on the cusp of a powerful merger. Will introduces his team, a total of 72 people. Will reads a painfully long list of names, pausing for a glass of water in the middle, and then Garth lets his team introduce themselves. When we pan to Rachel she flubs her name and says "Jonnifer Jenson" instead of Jennifer Johnson. Will immediately smells something fishy and calls the deal off. It's amazing how Will is able to get laughs just by blandly reading a list of names. I say this multiple times about sketches like this, I can't imagine the current cast doing something like this. You know Pete Davidson would giggle and completely ruin the whole thing.
Express Flowers
4 Stars
A man composes the perfect card for his lady love
Garth calls Cheri to order flowers for a woman but can't come up with the perfect message for the card.
"To Gwen, I screwed up, you screwed up, now let's screw. Horniest wishes, Donnie."
"Dear Gwen, jail changes a man but I swear I'll never bite your face in anger again."
"Gwen, here's the bottom line, I got 800 bucks in the bank, a well thought of penis and an NFL football phone, 'nuff said."
Then he tries to pay with a Curt Schilling baseball card. Garth again shows a surprisingly good sense of comic timing here, even covering well when he screws up a line.
Weekend Update
Garth calls Cheri to order flowers for a woman but can't come up with the perfect message for the card.
"To Gwen, I screwed up, you screwed up, now let's screw. Horniest wishes, Donnie."
"Dear Gwen, jail changes a man but I swear I'll never bite your face in anger again."
"Gwen, here's the bottom line, I got 800 bucks in the bank, a well thought of penis and an NFL football phone, 'nuff said."
Then he tries to pay with a Curt Schilling baseball card. Garth again shows a surprisingly good sense of comic timing here, even covering well when he screws up a line.
Weekend Update
Remember Y2K? People freaked out about it for like 5 years and then on January 1st, 2000, everyone instantly forgot it was ever a thing. Colin spends more time apologizing for his jokes than actually telling them. We get part 3 of The Millennium which is a profile on Darryl "Chocolate Thunder" Dawkins, the man of the millennium. He was up against Albert Einstein and William Shakespeare but the computer used to judge the competition picked basketball as a major factor and Darryl out dunked his competition.
Chris Gaines
"Way Of The Girl"
Through some camera trickery, Garth introduces Chris Gaines. This is...how do you say...bad. It is ridiculous how serious he is taking this. Garth has a black wig and a soul patch goatee and is singing one of the worst "rock" songs I've ever heard. This just goes to show you that money is truly the root of all evil. Imagine going into work and your boss is like, I'm a different guy, I'm a rocker, I have replaced your boss. It's not like anyone thought this was a good idea though. Garth himself seems to want it to vanish from history.
Dressing Room
2 Stars
Mango sneaks into Chris's dressing room
In a continuation from the monologue and a sketch from 2 years ago, Mango goes backstage to meet his crush, Chris Gaines. Chris pulls the same act of sexual diversion that Mango usually does before removing his wig to reveal himself as Garth. Wait, they were the same person?!?! Garth confesses that the whole Chris Gaines persona (and movie?) was all a ruse to win Mango's desire. Mango is not interested in Garth and teases next week's episode.
Lucifer Songs
In a continuation from the monologue and a sketch from 2 years ago, Mango goes backstage to meet his crush, Chris Gaines. Chris pulls the same act of sexual diversion that Mango usually does before removing his wig to reveal himself as Garth. Wait, they were the same person?!?! Garth confesses that the whole Chris Gaines persona (and movie?) was all a ruse to win Mango's desire. Mango is not interested in Garth and teases next week's episode.
Lucifer Songs
5 Stars
The Devil tries to get a soul through an awesome rock song
Garth is trying to write a great song but can't do it, he says he'll sell his soul in order to secure a hit tune. On queue, The Devil appears to accept his bargain. Only problem is, Lucifer isn't that great at songwriting. He tosses off tunes about a guy named Fred liking slacks, how much he hates Mondays, getting bit by the love bat and even goes as far as plagiarizing Smash Mouth. The Devil and Garth both agree to call off the arrangement. These are the kind of sketches I love, a clear premise, funny jokes, good performances, I guess sketch writing isn't rocket science.
Wilson's
Garth is trying to write a great song but can't do it, he says he'll sell his soul in order to secure a hit tune. On queue, The Devil appears to accept his bargain. Only problem is, Lucifer isn't that great at songwriting. He tosses off tunes about a guy named Fred liking slacks, how much he hates Mondays, getting bit by the love bat and even goes as far as plagiarizing Smash Mouth. The Devil and Garth both agree to call off the arrangement. These are the kind of sketches I love, a clear premise, funny jokes, good performances, I guess sketch writing isn't rocket science.
Wilson's
3 Stars
A department store manager tells customers to "simmah down nah"
First appearance of Nadine, a character who only returned 2 more times but if you were to ask me to guess I would have said a baker's dozen. I seem to remember seeing this every time I tuned into the show. Customers come up and ask to return an item, Nadine tells them to "simmah down nah". Her manager, Garth, gets in on the act as well. I'm not a big fan of this style of catchphrase comedy but Cheri and Garth are fun so I'll give it a pass, just this once. This is also kind of derivative of the "shhh" and "zip it" bits from the Austin Powers movies.
Royal Deluxe II
First appearance of Nadine, a character who only returned 2 more times but if you were to ask me to guess I would have said a baker's dozen. I seem to remember seeing this every time I tuned into the show. Customers come up and ask to return an item, Nadine tells them to "simmah down nah". Her manager, Garth, gets in on the act as well. I'm not a big fan of this style of catchphrase comedy but Cheri and Garth are fun so I'll give it a pass, just this once. This is also kind of derivative of the "shhh" and "zip it" bits from the Austin Powers movies.
Royal Deluxe II
For whatever reason, I'm guessing because it's the 25th season, we get a repeat of a commercial from season 3. A car is promised to be a smooth ride and to demonstrate they have a rabbi perform a circumcision in the backseat while driving on a bumpy road.
WXLU
4 Stars
A local news team changes up their opening credits
A meeting is held to figure a way to make a newscast more personable. Will had an idea for the anchors to introduce themselves like we used to at summer camp. What follows is a Zoom like intro where Garth likes to play drums, Ana likes elephants, Tracy likes to sing and Parnell likes to think. When they cut to the telecast, the group is embarrassed and ashamed. Will yells at Tim and fires him only to be fired by Tim who is actually in charge. Will laughs and freezes while Tim tells him that this is not a freeze frame, Will slowly backs away. What a stupid, stupid sketch. A good way to end the night.
FINAL ANALYSIS
A meeting is held to figure a way to make a newscast more personable. Will had an idea for the anchors to introduce themselves like we used to at summer camp. What follows is a Zoom like intro where Garth likes to play drums, Ana likes elephants, Tracy likes to sing and Parnell likes to think. When they cut to the telecast, the group is embarrassed and ashamed. Will yells at Tim and fires him only to be fired by Tim who is actually in charge. Will laughs and freezes while Tim tells him that this is not a freeze frame, Will slowly backs away. What a stupid, stupid sketch. A good way to end the night.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"That dude is fruit of cake, sweet like bear meat"
Average
3.8 Stars
MVP
Will Ferrell
NRA Headquarters, The Smurfs, Great Moments In Corporate History, Lucifer Songs, WXLU
NRA Headquarters, The Smurfs, Great Moments In Corporate History, Lucifer Songs, WXLU
Best Sketch
Lucifer Songs
Worst Sketch
Dressing Room
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
Before I criticize anything, let me just give a big thank you to whoever limited Chris Gaines to one song. The biggest complaint I have about this season so far is the placement of the musical guests. One after Update and then one usually two sketches later. If I had to hear another terrible song from Garth Brooks wearing a soul patch I would have knocked a star off the sketch average on general principle. This episode was pretty damn good, the only things I didn't like were Weekend Update, the musical guest and the Mango runner. I guess you can't cut the first two and the Mango stuff was short so it was forgivable. This one's solid.
Host Analysis
Chris Gaines aside, Garth Brooks did another excellent job hosting. He's charming, funny and affable and fits into every role they gave him, except for that stupid one he chose for himself. He's also a little dorky but okay with it and seems like he's the first person who would want to make fun of himself. It's a shame this Chris Gaines thing tanked his career a bit because he could have kept coming back every other year and I would be fine with it.
Final Thoughts
A really fun episode from start to finish with only a brief lull in the middle for Colin Quinn and Chris Gaines. This gets my highest sketch average of the season, just beating out the Norm MacDonald episode by a hair, although I like that episode better for personal reasons. A collection of really good sketches here that were all well performed. In his second outing, they didn't seem afraid to give Garth the weird stuff and he held his own with the cast, taking the lead when he had to and letting others get laughs when the focus needed to be on them.
Up Next
Friends star Jennifer Aniston hosts for the first time with musical guest Sting
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