"Shut up, you little Irish puke"
Cold Open: The Practice
2 Stars
Kisses fly with wild abandon at a law firm
I've said it multiple times, this is what I like in a cold open. I like when they make it about the host rather than whatever random politician happened to be in the news that week. I'm talking about Charlton Heston realizing the cast was replaced with apes or Macaulay Culkin hosting the show alone when everyone flew to Paris. Unfortunately, I never watched The Practice and I know nothing about it. I'm guessing Dylan McDermott's character kissed a lot of ladies because that's what he does in this sketch. Cheri comes in his office, they have an argument, they kiss, Ana comes in as, I'm assuming, Lara Flynn Boyle, they fight, they kiss, Horatio comes in as Camryn Manheim, they kiss, Darrell comes in as another character on The Practice, they kiss. Then Rachel comes in as Ally McBeal, looks like last week's episode gave her an instantly recognizable celebrity impression. She's upset that David E. Kelly (the creator of both shows) is spending too much time on The Practice and not enough time on her show. They kiss. Finally, Horatio returns looking for more than a kiss which sends Dylan running out of the room and Horatio screams "Live from New York...". Nothing too great, the kisses get repetitive, Horatio's entrance was a good sight gag, if a little mean spirited, and I'm guessing fans of The Practice would enjoy this more than me.
Dylan McDermott Monologue
I've said it multiple times, this is what I like in a cold open. I like when they make it about the host rather than whatever random politician happened to be in the news that week. I'm talking about Charlton Heston realizing the cast was replaced with apes or Macaulay Culkin hosting the show alone when everyone flew to Paris. Unfortunately, I never watched The Practice and I know nothing about it. I'm guessing Dylan McDermott's character kissed a lot of ladies because that's what he does in this sketch. Cheri comes in his office, they have an argument, they kiss, Ana comes in as, I'm assuming, Lara Flynn Boyle, they fight, they kiss, Horatio comes in as Camryn Manheim, they kiss, Darrell comes in as another character on The Practice, they kiss. Then Rachel comes in as Ally McBeal, looks like last week's episode gave her an instantly recognizable celebrity impression. She's upset that David E. Kelly (the creator of both shows) is spending too much time on The Practice and not enough time on her show. They kiss. Finally, Horatio returns looking for more than a kiss which sends Dylan running out of the room and Horatio screams "Live from New York...". Nothing too great, the kisses get repetitive, Horatio's entrance was a good sight gag, if a little mean spirited, and I'm guessing fans of The Practice would enjoy this more than me.
Dylan McDermott Monologue
2 Stars
Horatio reunites with his old co-star
Dylan starts off by telling a story about being a busboy and waiting on the original SNL cast. Then Horatio comes out to address his connection with the host. They both appeared in the 1994 remake of Miracle On 34th Street. Dylan played the lawyer who defends Santa Claus and Horatio had a bit part as a hospital orderly. Horatio really wanted the part of "Santy Claus" though and gets Dylan to sit on his lap and tell him what he wants for Christmas. More cute than funny but it was interesting to see the weird connection these two random actors had. 5 years before anyone knew him, Horatio had a bit part in a movie and then ended up working with the same guy in a completely different capacity.
The Jim Gray Show
Dylan starts off by telling a story about being a busboy and waiting on the original SNL cast. Then Horatio comes out to address his connection with the host. They both appeared in the 1994 remake of Miracle On 34th Street. Dylan played the lawyer who defends Santa Claus and Horatio had a bit part as a hospital orderly. Horatio really wanted the part of "Santy Claus" though and gets Dylan to sit on his lap and tell him what he wants for Christmas. More cute than funny but it was interesting to see the weird connection these two random actors had. 5 years before anyone knew him, Horatio had a bit part in a movie and then ended up working with the same guy in a completely different capacity.
The Jim Gray Show
1 Star
Sportscaster Jim Gray interviews Elizabeth Dole
I had absolutely no context for this so I had to look it up. A sportscaster named Jim Gray interviewed Pete Rose during the World Series and wouldn't stop asking him questions about gambling on baseball. I watched the interview online and it's a touch uncomfortable but nothing too severe. It was mainly because it was the wrong time for such questioning. The two are on a baseball field in front of a stadium of screaming fans and Jim is hounding Pete with questions about his past and asking him to apologize. So here, Jim is interviewing Elizabeth Dole and asking her to apologize for dropping out of a presidential race and for her husband having to take Viagra. I wish I didn't spend my time doing research on a sketch that wasn't funny in the first place.
Gumbel's Office
I had absolutely no context for this so I had to look it up. A sportscaster named Jim Gray interviewed Pete Rose during the World Series and wouldn't stop asking him questions about gambling on baseball. I watched the interview online and it's a touch uncomfortable but nothing too severe. It was mainly because it was the wrong time for such questioning. The two are on a baseball field in front of a stadium of screaming fans and Jim is hounding Pete with questions about his past and asking him to apologize. So here, Jim is interviewing Elizabeth Dole and asking her to apologize for dropping out of a presidential race and for her husband having to take Viagra. I wish I didn't spend my time doing research on a sketch that wasn't funny in the first place.
Gumbel's Office
1 Star
Katie Couric and Matt Lauer wish Bryant Gumbel good luck
Another sketch ripped from the headlines. Bryant Gumbel has moved to The Early Show on CBS after many years hosting The Today Show on NBC. His former co-hosts, Katie Couric and Matt Lauer, come by to wish him luck. Katie and Bryant talk smack to each other which upsets Matt. They two agree to not fight in front of Matt and promise to get him some ice cream. I think they were trying to make Matt Lauer seem childlike or stupid but Dylan's performance wasn't matching that. Cheri and Tim weren't any much better. This was a bit of a dud.
Farewell Assembly
Another sketch ripped from the headlines. Bryant Gumbel has moved to The Early Show on CBS after many years hosting The Today Show on NBC. His former co-hosts, Katie Couric and Matt Lauer, come by to wish him luck. Katie and Bryant talk smack to each other which upsets Matt. They two agree to not fight in front of Matt and promise to get him some ice cream. I think they were trying to make Matt Lauer seem childlike or stupid but Dylan's performance wasn't matching that. Cheri and Tim weren't any much better. This was a bit of a dud.
Farewell Assembly
2 Stars
Marty and Bobbi Culp wish their principal a fond farewell
Did we need 12 appearances of the Culps, much less 23? After an official dozen sketches, I can officially say that I am not a fan of this. Here they are performing at the going away assembly for their high school principal. Dylan comes out and is equally as dull as the Culps. The three perform a medley that includes Fly Away, Don't You Forget About Me, My Name Is, Cowboy and All Star. A few scattered good lines at the beginning but I was waiting for this to be over.
The Jim Gray Show
Did we need 12 appearances of the Culps, much less 23? After an official dozen sketches, I can officially say that I am not a fan of this. Here they are performing at the going away assembly for their high school principal. Dylan comes out and is equally as dull as the Culps. The three perform a medley that includes Fly Away, Don't You Forget About Me, My Name Is, Cowboy and All Star. A few scattered good lines at the beginning but I was waiting for this to be over.
The Jim Gray Show
1 Star
Hey, remember that earlier sketch I didn't like, they brought it back. Here Jim interviews Danny Glover who has just filed a racial complaint with the city after not being able to get a taxi cab. Jim asks Danny to apologize for his bad films like Lethal Weapon 4 and Gone Fishin'.
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
3 Stars
A contestant suffers a nervous breakdown on a game show
Ana is on the $64,000 question and breaks down crying. She starts getting very emotional and tells Regis Philbin about her personal problems including her equally emotional husband in the audience. She phones a friend who tells her to pull herself together. Finally she is able to compose herself long enough to answer the question, and she gets it wrong. Not much to this but it did have a good performance from Ana. I thought this was going to either be a showcase for Darrell's Regis impression or a comment on the show itself but it was just a nice piece for Ana.
Mango
Ana is on the $64,000 question and breaks down crying. She starts getting very emotional and tells Regis Philbin about her personal problems including her equally emotional husband in the audience. She phones a friend who tells her to pull herself together. Finally she is able to compose herself long enough to answer the question, and she gets it wrong. Not much to this but it did have a good performance from Ana. I thought this was going to either be a showcase for Darrell's Regis impression or a comment on the show itself but it was just a nice piece for Ana.
Mango
2 Stars
A detective goes undercover as Mango
We're up to number 7 for number of Mango sketches. At least this one is slightly different from the other ones. Mango is shot in the butt by an unidentified assailant and Dylan is the detective assigned to the case. He goes undercover as Mango. We get a pretty fun montage of Dylan learning to become Mango with him learning to slap his butt, pose and dance. I also liked the meta joke of Norm MacDonald sending 'get well' cards to Mango. Chris Kattan was suspiciously absent from last week's episode. Those bits aside, I feel like I've seen enough Mango and don't need anymore.
After the sketch ends with a reference to The Bodyguard, a movie 7 years old at this point, Jim Gray runs out to interview Dylan. He asks him to apologize for all the gay themed humor in tonight's show but Dylan tells him that the entire cast vowed not to speak with him. Was this Jim Gray story big enough to constitute such a runner?We're up to number 7 for number of Mango sketches. At least this one is slightly different from the other ones. Mango is shot in the butt by an unidentified assailant and Dylan is the detective assigned to the case. He goes undercover as Mango. We get a pretty fun montage of Dylan learning to become Mango with him learning to slap his butt, pose and dance. I also liked the meta joke of Norm MacDonald sending 'get well' cards to Mango. Chris Kattan was suspiciously absent from last week's episode. Those bits aside, I feel like I've seen enough Mango and don't need anymore.
Weekend Update
No desk pieces this week, just 6 minutes of lame. Janet Reno and Bill Gates are the same person, Bob Barker's arteries were clogged with a year supply of Turtle Wax, and get this, Dan Quayle is stupid. It's about time somebody took down Dan Quayle. 1999 seemed to be the perfect time to really stick it to that dumb ass.
Foo Fighters
"Learn To Fly"
The first time I perked up all episode. This song rocks, this band kicks ass, finally something to like in this episode.
Collette At Home
2 Stars
Collette Reardon gets a visit from the phone company
Cheri's prescription drug addled character is more timely today than it was then, doesn't make it worth revisiting. This is her 5th appearance on the show. She describes all the different medications she's on, what they do and what the side effects are. A telephone repairman (something that's not timely at all anymore) comes to fix her phone. She tries to hit on him and blah, blah, blah. There's not much to this sketch other than to showcase Cheri. I like her, she's a bundle of energy and this character is fun but the sketch is just a collection of catchphrases.
Lotto Pick 4 Hospital
Cheri's prescription drug addled character is more timely today than it was then, doesn't make it worth revisiting. This is her 5th appearance on the show. She describes all the different medications she's on, what they do and what the side effects are. A telephone repairman (something that's not timely at all anymore) comes to fix her phone. She tries to hit on him and blah, blah, blah. There's not much to this sketch other than to showcase Cheri. I like her, she's a bundle of energy and this character is fun but the sketch is just a collection of catchphrases.
Lotto Pick 4 Hospital
3 Stars
The Pick 4 lottery is now announced in a soap opera
Remember the Tom Arnold episode from season 20? No? Good, you shouldn't. It was terrible. But there was a sketch in it where they merged local news and soap operas. This sketch is totally different. This is a soap opera mixed with the daily lottery drawing. See? Different. Dylan pulls numbered balls out of a man's abdomen, sees one in an x-ray and pops one out of a woman's vagina. I liked the way he turned to the camera to deliver the numbers with a creepy smile. Not sure what he was going for in his performance but it worked. It felt like everyone in this sketch knew how stupid it was, which gave it a loose and silly feel.
Foo Fighters return with "Stacked Actors" which is another awesome song off their awesome album, There Is Nothing Left To Lose.
Not My Baby!
Remember the Tom Arnold episode from season 20? No? Good, you shouldn't. It was terrible. But there was a sketch in it where they merged local news and soap operas. This sketch is totally different. This is a soap opera mixed with the daily lottery drawing. See? Different. Dylan pulls numbered balls out of a man's abdomen, sees one in an x-ray and pops one out of a woman's vagina. I liked the way he turned to the camera to deliver the numbers with a creepy smile. Not sure what he was going for in his performance but it worked. It felt like everyone in this sketch knew how stupid it was, which gave it a loose and silly feel.
Foo Fighters return with "Stacked Actors" which is another awesome song off their awesome album, There Is Nothing Left To Lose.
Not My Baby!
3 Stars
A mother is very protective of her son
Officer Dylan comes to Mrs. Parker's apartment to tell her that her son has been arrested for selling drugs. Mrs. Parker is played by Tracy in drag who keeps screaming "Not my baby!". It turns out her "baby" is 41 years old and 260 pounds and is one of the most violent drug dealers in New York City. This sketch goes on for a while and then transitions to a court room where Mrs. Parker is on the stand at her son's trial. The prosecutor keeps telling her to stop referring to her son as a baby but then she sings The Greatest Love Of All which makes the jury, the cop, the bailiff and the judge break down in tears. All charges are dropped and she drags her son out of the courtroom as if he was a misbehaving child. Up until the point where Tracy started singing I was ready to call this one of the worst of the season. The sketch was moving so slowly, the audience was silent and I was feeling sorry for Tracy. Then, damn it, it got me. I started laughing hysterically at this stupid, stupid sketch.
FINAL ANALYSIS
Officer Dylan comes to Mrs. Parker's apartment to tell her that her son has been arrested for selling drugs. Mrs. Parker is played by Tracy in drag who keeps screaming "Not my baby!". It turns out her "baby" is 41 years old and 260 pounds and is one of the most violent drug dealers in New York City. This sketch goes on for a while and then transitions to a court room where Mrs. Parker is on the stand at her son's trial. The prosecutor keeps telling her to stop referring to her son as a baby but then she sings The Greatest Love Of All which makes the jury, the cop, the bailiff and the judge break down in tears. All charges are dropped and she drags her son out of the courtroom as if he was a misbehaving child. Up until the point where Tracy started singing I was ready to call this one of the worst of the season. The sketch was moving so slowly, the audience was silent and I was feeling sorry for Tracy. Then, damn it, it got me. I started laughing hysterically at this stupid, stupid sketch.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Join us up here for one last ménage à funk"
Average
2 Stars
MVP
Foo Fighters
the only thing I really liked in this one
From the cast
Ana Gasteyer
The Practice, The Jim Gray Show, Farewell Assembly, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Not My Baby!
the only thing I really liked in this one
From the cast
Ana Gasteyer
The Practice, The Jim Gray Show, Farewell Assembly, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, Not My Baby!
Best Sketch
Lotto Pick 4 Hospital
Worst Sketch
The Jim Gray Show
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
Cut out that Jim Gray runner and give Foo Fighters another song. I also would have swapped Not My Baby! with Lotto Pick 4 Hospital. The former was a little too long for a 10-1 sketch. I actually thought it was over when Tracy screamed at the camera and then it kept going.
Host Analysis
One of my favorite sketches of recent memory came from a Jamie Foxx hosted episode where they had a game show designed to tell the difference between Dylan McDermott and Dermot Mulroney. That has nothing to do with this episode, I just wanted to mention that when I was editing this post I caught myself accidentally calling him Dermot. I didn't do it to be cute, I legitimately mixed the two up. I even titled the episode wrong on my hard drive.
One of my favorite sketches of recent memory came from a Jamie Foxx hosted episode where they had a game show designed to tell the difference between Dylan McDermott and Dermot Mulroney. That has nothing to do with this episode, I just wanted to mention that when I was editing this post I caught myself accidentally calling him Dermot. I didn't do it to be cute, I legitimately mixed the two up. I even titled the episode wrong on my hard drive.
So apologizes if I missed a Dylan/Dermot mistake, but I ain't changing it now.
Dylan was not that great. I got a Jason Patric vibe from him. He didn't seem to possess a lot of comic timing which was fine since he played the straight man most of the night but when he did go for laughs, he came up short.
Final Thoughts
What I like to call a big, stinky dud. There was nothing in this episode that I really enjoyed. This is one you can skip entirely. 3 recurring characters that I could have done without and the original sketches didn't offer up much either. That Jim Gray Show runner was a real bummer. I love when the show plays with the format and calls back sketches but there was no point in just repeating a weak sketch three times.
Up Next
Here's hoping for a step up in quality as Garth Brooks hosts. I really enjoyed his first hosting stint and am excited for round two. I highly doubt that musical guest Chris Gaines is going to be an improvement over Foo Fighters. Should be an interesting one though.
Here's hoping for a step up in quality as Garth Brooks hosts. I really enjoyed his first hosting stint and am excited for round two. I highly doubt that musical guest Chris Gaines is going to be an improvement over Foo Fighters. Should be an interesting one though.
Nice to see these coming a day between George.
ReplyDeleteNot that it excuses the sketch quality, but I can confirm, as sports stories go the Jim Gray-Pete Rose thing was a massive deal.
ReplyDelete