"I hate white people but I love white women."
Cold Open: NFL On NBC
OJ Simpson returns to the sidelines
Bob Costas and Mike Ditka welcome back OJ Simpson to Monday Night Football fresh off his acquittal from double murder. OJ is still looking for the real killer, because if he didn't do it someone else must have. If you have any tips you can call 1-600-MURDER. He then interviews Marv Levy and has a conversation laced with innuendos.
"Last time you played the Jets you really killed them, I mean you went for the jugular. It was a game so brutal it makes you want to dump all your clothes in a trashcan before you catch the red eye to Chicago."
He then draws a football play on the screen that ends up reading 'I did it'. Costas and Ditka tell him to just come out an say it and OJ responds with "Live from New York..."
This sketch had a lot of good things going for it. I loved Tim Meadows and his nonchalant portrayal of OJ, Will Ferrell provided good support as a scared and flustered coach and it was a perfect location for an OJ sketch right after the verdict.
Chevy Chase Monologue
Bob Costas and Mike Ditka welcome back OJ Simpson to Monday Night Football fresh off his acquittal from double murder. OJ is still looking for the real killer, because if he didn't do it someone else must have. If you have any tips you can call 1-600-MURDER. He then interviews Marv Levy and has a conversation laced with innuendos.
"Last time you played the Jets you really killed them, I mean you went for the jugular. It was a game so brutal it makes you want to dump all your clothes in a trashcan before you catch the red eye to Chicago."
He then draws a football play on the screen that ends up reading 'I did it'. Costas and Ditka tell him to just come out an say it and OJ responds with "Live from New York..."
This sketch had a lot of good things going for it. I loved Tim Meadows and his nonchalant portrayal of OJ, Will Ferrell provided good support as a scared and flustered coach and it was a perfect location for an OJ sketch right after the verdict.
Chevy Chase Monologue
1 Star
Chevy sings a song and makes a stupid face
When I first started this blog I established that I would never give a sketch 0 stars. This makes me want to take that pledge back. Chevy somberly states that it was almost 20 years ago to the day that he opened the first show. He describes the feelings he had that night, looking over at Dan and Gilda and Jane right before he said "Live from New York" for the first time. I didn't find anything wrong with an honest and heartfelt monologue but then Chevy leaps into 'When You Wish Upon A Star' and I had no idea what was going on. Chevy apparently felt that this was bombing so he relies on his 'goofy face' routine as he warbles Jiminy Cricket's immortal tune.
Lobotol
When I first started this blog I established that I would never give a sketch 0 stars. This makes me want to take that pledge back. Chevy somberly states that it was almost 20 years ago to the day that he opened the first show. He describes the feelings he had that night, looking over at Dan and Gilda and Jane right before he said "Live from New York" for the first time. I didn't find anything wrong with an honest and heartfelt monologue but then Chevy leaps into 'When You Wish Upon A Star' and I had no idea what was going on. Chevy apparently felt that this was bombing so he relies on his 'goofy face' routine as he warbles Jiminy Cricket's immortal tune.
Lobotol
2 Stars
A stress relief medicine for your over achieving co-workers
Nancy Walls is upset that her new co-worker Cheri Oteri is getting more praise at work so she recommends Lobotol, which her husband gives her when she asks too many questions. We then cut to Cheri lost in a sea of fabric while Nancy is joyous that she got a promotion. This was a better idea that it was a sketch and I'm probably harder on it because I'm still bummed from the monologue.
Cockpit
Nancy Walls is upset that her new co-worker Cheri Oteri is getting more praise at work so she recommends Lobotol, which her husband gives her when she asks too many questions. We then cut to Cheri lost in a sea of fabric while Nancy is joyous that she got a promotion. This was a better idea that it was a sketch and I'm probably harder on it because I'm still bummed from the monologue.
Cockpit
3 Stars
A pilot has to deal with an annoying and hyper child
Chevy is piloting a plane when little Althea is brought in. She's an annoying little kid who is hopped up on sugar. She's prone to screaming and spastic dances and she asks inappropriate questions like how many testicles the captain has. Chevy is quick to anger as he continuously calls for a flight attendant to get their ass in the cockpit. The punchline is when Althea tells the flight attendant that the captain has 2 testicles to which the flight attendant says, "Yes, I know." This is obviously a character that Oteri brought to the show with her and it is pleasant for what it is. I'm sure we'll see Althea again and again, and probably 3 more times after that.
The Blame Game
Chevy is piloting a plane when little Althea is brought in. She's an annoying little kid who is hopped up on sugar. She's prone to screaming and spastic dances and she asks inappropriate questions like how many testicles the captain has. Chevy is quick to anger as he continuously calls for a flight attendant to get their ass in the cockpit. The punchline is when Althea tells the flight attendant that the captain has 2 testicles to which the flight attendant says, "Yes, I know." This is obviously a character that Oteri brought to the show with her and it is pleasant for what it is. I'm sure we'll see Althea again and again, and probably 3 more times after that.
The Blame Game
2 Stars
The game where you blame other races for all your problems
Mark McKinney hosts this game show parody with Chevy Chase and Tim Meadows as contestants. Meadows is an angry black man and Chase is an uptight racist white guy. Chevy keeps hitting his buzzer at inappropriate times which is probably a joke only funny for him. Meadows blames all of his problems on 'whitey' and Chase's anger covers blacks, Jews, Mexicans and the fact that he couldn't get into a good college on affirmative action. They all agree that the spokes model is a bitch. Comedy about racism is a little tricky, you have to have some kind of commentary underneath or else it just seems kind of...racist. Here Chase and Meadows mock other races and beliefs and then the sketch is over. I know the joke is that these people are wrong (I hope) but without any kind of punishment for the characters we're left just laughing at off-color jokes.
Fuzzy Memories
Mark McKinney hosts this game show parody with Chevy Chase and Tim Meadows as contestants. Meadows is an angry black man and Chase is an uptight racist white guy. Chevy keeps hitting his buzzer at inappropriate times which is probably a joke only funny for him. Meadows blames all of his problems on 'whitey' and Chase's anger covers blacks, Jews, Mexicans and the fact that he couldn't get into a good college on affirmative action. They all agree that the spokes model is a bitch. Comedy about racism is a little tricky, you have to have some kind of commentary underneath or else it just seems kind of...racist. Here Chase and Meadows mock other races and beliefs and then the sketch is over. I know the joke is that these people are wrong (I hope) but without any kind of punishment for the characters we're left just laughing at off-color jokes.
Fuzzy Memories
4 Stars
Jack Handey remembers a moment he had with an escaped convict
One time I was walking through the field behind our house when this man jumped out and grabbed me. He was wearing a striped uniform and his ankles were chained together. He told me to get him some food and some tools to get the chains off his legs. If I didn't he would kill my whole family.
Cut to the little kid eating popcorn and watching TV
I wonder whatever happened to him.
I love Jack Handey's voice over in these. He nails that quaint homespun delivery even when he's talking about very dark subject matter and the added visuals are a real treat.
Braveheart
One time I was walking through the field behind our house when this man jumped out and grabbed me. He was wearing a striped uniform and his ankles were chained together. He told me to get him some food and some tools to get the chains off his legs. If I didn't he would kill my whole family.
Cut to the little kid eating popcorn and watching TV
I wonder whatever happened to him.
I love Jack Handey's voice over in these. He nails that quaint homespun delivery even when he's talking about very dark subject matter and the added visuals are a real treat.
Braveheart
2 Stars
Chevy doesn't want to do the fall in the Braveheart sketch
Darrell Hammond announces the arrival of William Wallace and we cut to Chevy Chase in a kilt talking to Lorne Michaels in his office. Chevy doesn't want to do the fall and sites his chronic back pain as the main reason. Lorne insists and pulls out Chevy's old contract for leverage. Chevy left the show early and owes them 7 more shows. Chevy reluctantly leaves and, in a weird meta joke that I don't quite get, last week's host Mariel Hemingway comes out to serve Lorne coffee. Jim Breuer comes out to praise Chevy on his physical comedy and says that he will do the fall for Chevy. Chevy discourages Jim from falling for a laugh. It leads to back pain, pills and syphilis. He keeps getting Jim's name wrong (a joke only funny for Chase) and after his speech he pats Jim on the back which sends him falling down the stairs. The best part of this sketch is when Chevy then turns to the camera to scream "Live from New York..." and then is corrected and introduces Lisa Loeb.
Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories
Darrell Hammond announces the arrival of William Wallace and we cut to Chevy Chase in a kilt talking to Lorne Michaels in his office. Chevy doesn't want to do the fall and sites his chronic back pain as the main reason. Lorne insists and pulls out Chevy's old contract for leverage. Chevy left the show early and owes them 7 more shows. Chevy reluctantly leaves and, in a weird meta joke that I don't quite get, last week's host Mariel Hemingway comes out to serve Lorne coffee. Jim Breuer comes out to praise Chevy on his physical comedy and says that he will do the fall for Chevy. Chevy discourages Jim from falling for a laugh. It leads to back pain, pills and syphilis. He keeps getting Jim's name wrong (a joke only funny for Chase) and after his speech he pats Jim on the back which sends him falling down the stairs. The best part of this sketch is when Chevy then turns to the camera to scream "Live from New York..." and then is corrected and introduces Lisa Loeb.
Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories
"Do You Sleep?"
I used to love Lisa Loeb, she has a way of making depressing songs incredibly fun with her optimistic voice. This song in particular is a toe-tapping girl pop anthem but then you listen to the lyrics and realize that if this song was a little slower and in a minor key it would be dark and sad. I like my music happy.
Weekend Update
Weekend Update
"The world's most sexiest man is the one on the right"
Last week Norm was introduced with the Friends theme song and this week he gets the theme to ER. Not sure what this means, probably just some good old fashioned product integration. Norm starts off with a bunch of OJ jokes.
"It's official, murder is now legal in the state of California."
"Court TV scored its highest ratings ever when the verdict was announced. An hour later the company went out of business."
One of the jurors children are really happy to have their mom back home "and why not, she lets them get away with murder."
The best non OJ jokes include
A bunch of corpse sniffing dogs have been hard at work but so far have only been able to dig up another dog's ass.
Supermodel Claudia Schiffer broke up with magician David Copperfield right before he was hit by a bus. This according to the latest issue of 'Things I Wish Really Happened'
The first Miss USA died at the age of 90. A call in vote will determine whether she is buried in a swimsuit or evening wear.
We also get a remote piece from Father Guido Sarducci who is in Central Park looking for the Pope's wallet. He goes through some trash left over after the Pope's recent visit including Pope masks and holy water. My favorite moment came when a priest was overjoyed after finding a sock. Later they interview they guy who found the wallet. Guido promises that 3 masses will be said in his honor, they're low masses but for $5 he can bump them up to high masses. Guido promises to tell the Pope about the guy if he remembers his name.
Always & Forever
2 Stars
A now married couple flashback to their disastrous prom night
Will and Cheri are a dull married couple sitting on the couch, we pan over to their prom picture and are instantly transported to that night. She's upset because he got the wrong corsage. They have a big argument that is repeatedly interrupted when a song they love comes on and they dance. Both Ferrell and Oteri are giving all their energy to this sketch but these characters just weren't working for me. It ends with Cheri promising Will that tonight will be the night where he finally gets a BJ.
Gangsta Bitch Barbie
Will and Cheri are a dull married couple sitting on the couch, we pan over to their prom picture and are instantly transported to that night. She's upset because he got the wrong corsage. They have a big argument that is repeatedly interrupted when a song they love comes on and they dance. Both Ferrell and Oteri are giving all their energy to this sketch but these characters just weren't working for me. It ends with Cheri promising Will that tonight will be the night where he finally gets a BJ.
Gangsta Bitch Barbie
3 Stars
Two girls play with their new doll
Here's a commercial parody for Gangsta Bitch Barbie and Tupac Ken. You get the joke from the name of the sketch. This was fine but while watching it I couldn't help but thinking that this is a very white show and doing a sketch like this left a bad taste in my mouth for that reason.
The Mark Fuhrman Show
Here's a commercial parody for Gangsta Bitch Barbie and Tupac Ken. You get the joke from the name of the sketch. This was fine but while watching it I couldn't help but thinking that this is a very white show and doing a sketch like this left a bad taste in my mouth for that reason.
The Mark Fuhrman Show
2 Stars
Disgraced LAPD detective hosts a show celebrating racial diversity
For those too young to remember, Mark Fuhrman was basically the reason OJ Simpson went free. He was a racist cop with a collection of Nazi memorabilia who just happened to find the key piece of evidence (the bloody glove) at OJ's house. This started the defense using him as a scapegoat for racism in LA and they insinuated that he planted the evidence to frame OJ. Here Chase plays Fuhrman as the host of a talk show and his first guest is MC Bodybag, a gangsta rapper who openly talks about his hatred of white people. They play a snippet from his new single which Fuhrman seems to like. As MC Bodybag leaves Chase places a bloody glove on his chair and tells him he dropped something. Wow, what a long way to go for such a weak punchline.
O.J. Today
For those too young to remember, Mark Fuhrman was basically the reason OJ Simpson went free. He was a racist cop with a collection of Nazi memorabilia who just happened to find the key piece of evidence (the bloody glove) at OJ's house. This started the defense using him as a scapegoat for racism in LA and they insinuated that he planted the evidence to frame OJ. Here Chase plays Fuhrman as the host of a talk show and his first guest is MC Bodybag, a gangsta rapper who openly talks about his hatred of white people. They play a snippet from his new single which Fuhrman seems to like. As MC Bodybag leaves Chase places a bloody glove on his chair and tells him he dropped something. Wow, what a long way to go for such a weak punchline.
O.J. Today
3 Stars
The crew of OJ Today bid farewell now that the trial is over
We get the same theme song and graphics as last week's cold open with a few new additions. This time we get the OJ Consumer Reporter with how to stretch your OJ dollar and T.J. the monkey. The entire crew gets together to lament the end of the trial and go over some highlights from the show. Norm gets the best line as he is actually a bathroom supply salesman with no legal expertise. We also get a shot of a sad Darrell Hammond as Mr. OJ Food throwing away his OJ jello mold. They end with a clip package of goofs and bloopers from their show which accumulates in Will Ferrell getting peed on by T.J. the monkey. This could have gotten a little more absurd for my taste but the sketch was still fun.
Spade In America
We get the same theme song and graphics as last week's cold open with a few new additions. This time we get the OJ Consumer Reporter with how to stretch your OJ dollar and T.J. the monkey. The entire crew gets together to lament the end of the trial and go over some highlights from the show. Norm gets the best line as he is actually a bathroom supply salesman with no legal expertise. We also get a shot of a sad Darrell Hammond as Mr. OJ Food throwing away his OJ jello mold. They end with a clip package of goofs and bloopers from their show which accumulates in Will Ferrell getting peed on by T.J. the monkey. This could have gotten a little more absurd for my taste but the sketch was still fun.
Spade In America
1 Star
David has some issues with the music of today
I'm tempted to say "No thanks" to this whole segment but I'll keep an open mind and keep watching for the season. This was lamer than last week though. You know what's sticking in David's craw this week? Rock music. The Hard Rock Hotel has lame memorabilia. The new Cranberries song 'Zombie' is too hard. He went to a Fleetwood Mac concert and is upset that there was only one original member. 'Don't Stop'? more like 'Do Stop!". What the shit? John Cougar Mellencamp jokes? Casey Kasem? REO Speedwagon? You know what sticks in my craw? Comedians taking up airtime on NBC to do a lame stand up bit that was barely current 10 years ago.
I'm tempted to say "No thanks" to this whole segment but I'll keep an open mind and keep watching for the season. This was lamer than last week though. You know what's sticking in David's craw this week? Rock music. The Hard Rock Hotel has lame memorabilia. The new Cranberries song 'Zombie' is too hard. He went to a Fleetwood Mac concert and is upset that there was only one original member. 'Don't Stop'? more like 'Do Stop!". What the shit? John Cougar Mellencamp jokes? Casey Kasem? REO Speedwagon? You know what sticks in my craw? Comedians taking up airtime on NBC to do a lame stand up bit that was barely current 10 years ago.
Lisa Loeb returns to sing "Stay". I didn't own this CD but I did own the soundtrack to Reality Bites that features this song, so I'm gonna count that and I am now 2 for 2 of SNL musical guests from this season where I owned the album.
Lampreys
Lampreys
3 Stars
A child's love of his lampreys comes to a sad end
Will and Nancy play parents discussing their son's obsession with wild animals. In walks Cheri Oteri covered with blood sucking lampreys. She's lost 25 pounds and sleeps for 18 to 19 hours a day. It's time to let the lampreys go. We then cut to a shot of Oteri at Lake Huron as a sad song plays and she sends her lampreys out to sea. Later on at the hospital a doctor tells little Timmy that he has developed a liver fluke, a parasitic worm. Timmy asks if he can keep it and everybody hugs. It wasn't perfect but a weird way to end the show.
FINAL ANALYSIS
Will and Nancy play parents discussing their son's obsession with wild animals. In walks Cheri Oteri covered with blood sucking lampreys. She's lost 25 pounds and sleeps for 18 to 19 hours a day. It's time to let the lampreys go. We then cut to a shot of Oteri at Lake Huron as a sad song plays and she sends her lampreys out to sea. Later on at the hospital a doctor tells little Timmy that he has developed a liver fluke, a parasitic worm. Timmy asks if he can keep it and everybody hugs. It wasn't perfect but a weird way to end the show.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"Little fall here, little fall there then I cash the elephant check."
Average
Average
2.5 Stars
MVP
Norm MacDonald
Weekend Update, OJ Today
No individual cast member left an impression on me this episode. Will had some nice moments and Cheri appeared in the most sketches (but that's not always a good thing).
Weekend Update, OJ Today
No individual cast member left an impression on me this episode. Will had some nice moments and Cheri appeared in the most sketches (but that's not always a good thing).
Best Sketch
NFL on NBC
Worst Sketch
The Mark Fuhrman Show
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
After Update Chevy only appeared in one sketch. That may have been intentional but spacing out his appearances would make it seem less conspicuous. I would start with OJ Today, then Mark Fuhrman and The Blame Game. That way you get all of the OJ and racism out of the way earlier. Cockpit would have fit better later in the night. I would also save Fuzzy Memories for before the 10-1 sketch. I'm sure I'll say this multiple times this season but Spade In America is a real momentum killer. I don't know where to put it but after Update I want all sketches. I will give the show credit for the transition from Braveheart into the musical guest. I always appreciate when the show plays with the format.
Host Analysis
Like I said, Chevy only appeared in one sketch after Update so his presence wasn't felt throughout the show. My main complaint with his hosting in season 11 was that he tried to overshadow the new cast. Here he took a long smoke break and let the new cast do their thing. I'm not really surprised we didn't see too much of him. This was his last hosting stint as he was reportedly banned for being a jerk and hard to work with. Check out the look on Will Ferrell's face in the picture above, you can kind of tell that Chevy no longer fit in. At the Goodnights it took a while for anyone to even acknowledge his presence.
Final Thoughts
Final Thoughts
This was a very uneven episode with the cold open, Update and Fuzzy Memories really being the only highlights. It was by no means a trainwreck but we're still watching the new cast grow. Right out of the gate you can see Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri becoming the anchors with Tim Meadows being a valuable supporting player. With a completely new cast needing room to prove themselves it would be great if there was some room in the show to spotlight them. Oh, I got an idea, kill that lame Spade In America bit.
Up Next
David Schwimmer becomes the 2nd Friends cast member to host the show.
Chevy hosted the very next season.
ReplyDeleteLet me get this thing off my chest here... The whole "Chevy Chase is banned"-thing has never been confirmed. The first time it was mentioned online, it was said to be from the Live from New York book, but it's not in there at all. So it's still unverfied.
ReplyDeleteYes, he hasn't hosted since 1997, but Aykroyd and Murray both haven't hosted in twenty years either. I also think it would be weird to ban someone as a host but then still let him on to do cameos, and even appoint him as a new Weekend Update Anchor in 2007 (although he only ended up doing one, he was hired for the season).