“Forget me in the Sasquatch”
Cold Open: Embracing Civility
0 Stars
Fox News is making an effort to put aside political rhetoric and be nice and civil. James Carville comes out to goad them into losing their temper. Despite some fun mugging from Bill as Carville this had absolutely no energy. It was a super slow cold open that didn’t get me pumped for the show at all.
Gwyneth Paltrow Monologue
2 Stars
Gwyneth is starting in a movie about country music but she knows nothing about country music, a slight variation of the New Yorker knows nothing about New York monologue. Jason comes out as Kenny Rogers to duet with her, then Kristen comes out as Dolly Parton, then Cee Lo Green comes out. It’s a big monologue stew, just keep throwing things into the pot. The one thing I took note of here is that Cee Lo Green has a very unique voice, but it sounds nothing like Kenan’s impression we’ll be seeing next season.
NBC
Inspired by NBC’s new show The Cape where a guy gets super powers from his cape, we get a bunch of promos for other clothes inspired superheroes. Nasim stars in The Scarf, Bill dons The Smock, Andy wears only The Leg Warmer, Kenan wields The Sleep Mask, Kristen stops evil with The Bolo Tie, Fred sports The Water Bottle Holder, Jason wears The Scrunchie, and Bobby puts on The Spanx.
Secret Word
1 Star
4th Secret Word sketch. Same as the rest except we get Gwyneth as a gossipy socialite. This was weak compared to other Secret Word sketches, I’m starting to feel a low-energy night but that might still be the slow cold open affecting me.
Andy And Pee-Wee's Night Out
Awwww, the late, great Paul Reubens as Pee-Wee Herman meets Andy at a bar and they go on a booze fueled night of debauchery where they ride a mechanical bull, do the Tequila dance, attack Anderson Cooper, and are eventually forced into an intervention with all the playhouse pals. This felt like total nostalgia but it was fun. I think this was around the time Pee-Wee was starting a show on Broadway so this was probably just a case of happy to have him back.
Bar Mitzvah
It’s the debut of Jacob, The Bar Mitzvah Boy but not in the way we’d grow familiar with him. Jacob’s father has scheduled some big names for his son’s ascent into manhood and we get some musical impressions like Gwyneth as Taylor Swift, Jay and Nasim as Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, Abby as Katy Perry, and Cee Lo Green. They all sing parody songs of their hits with Jewish lyrics. It’s for people who think “Weird Al” is too edgy. This was exceptionally lame.
Record Meeting
Record producers fight with the FCC to let Cee Lo sing his song on TV, but in this universe the song is titled “Forget You” instead of “Fuck You” so they say “forget” when they mean “fuck” such as “Shut the forget up” and “what’s up, you mother forgetters”. Gwyneth also calls a woman a “Country Strong” and Jason is chastised for using the N-word (Nintendo). I love that this ends with Cee Lo’s intro and I appreciate what they’re trying to do here, but it comes off lame. I think it’s the performances. Gwyneth and Cee Lo don’t have a lot of comic timing but also Jason and Andy don’t seem to be into this. This needed to have people screaming “Forget!” or something to boost the energy. It kinda dies quickly.
Cee Lo Green
"Forget You"
Weekend Update
Garth & Kat return and they’ve brought along Kim Castle to join them in their giggling game. Booooooo!
Globe Theatre
The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air 20th Anniversary Collection
Will Smith had trouble acting convincingly during the first season of The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air. Is it me? Am I just in a foul mood? This did nothing for me either. Jay’s impression is good but the repeated ‘Will Smith can’t act’ jokes were falling flat especially the final one where he says ‘Welcome To Earth’, because that’s the line from Independence Day, get it?
ESPN Deportes
Man, Paul. I was really rooting for you. The cast all play Spanish sports anchors and the only joke of the sketch is that they slip into an American accent when they say American names and phrases. So they’ll be speaking Spanish and then say “Brett Favre”. It’s a bit I’ve praised Joe Piscopo for in the past but nobody here seems to be good at it. I think maybe they’re really trying to nail the Spanish and that’s throwing off the timing a bit, or something, but it’s not fun.
Cee Lo Green returns with "Bright Lights Bigger City"
Spitzer Auditions
Elliott Spitzer is auditioning new co-hosts for his show so we get one of those impression roll call sketches similar to the Bar Mitzvah sketch from earlier. But this one has fun impressions like Christiane Amanpour, Heidi Klum, and the often-seen Gov David Paterson. This was a waste.
“Where’s Truman Capote’s index finger?”
Average
1.8 Star
MVP
Bill Hader
Embracing Civility, NBC, Secret Word, Weekend Update, Globe Theatre, Spitzer Auditions
Best Sketch
Andy And Pee-Wee’s Night Out
Worst Sketch
Bar Mitzvah
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
This was a bummer to watch and I think the cold open and Secret Word lead off were the main culprits. I say swap the back half with the front half. Make Spitzer the cold open, move Globe Theatre pre-Update, and move Bar Mitzvah to the post-Update slot.
Host Analysis
Not a fan and thought she was very bland. She felt a step behind the whole night. A lot of it was the fault of the sketches but she certainly didn’t do anything to elevate things.
Final Thoughts
This hasn’t been the strongest season but this was the first dud. Outside of the Digital Short there isn’t anything I would ever revisit. Gwyneth was a dull host, there’s Mindy Grayson and Garth & Kat, and too much Cee Lo. He felt like a co-host during the first half of the show.
Up Next
Jesse Eisenberg and Nicki Minaj
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