“Just hearing about used cars makes me hella horny”
Cold Open: Congresswoman Michele Bachmann's Response To The President's State Of The Union Address: The Second Attempt
2 Stars
Numerous technical gaffes during the congresswoman’s speech. I kinda remember the real moment this is spoofing. She looks in the wrong camera and there’s a bunch of cutaways to poorly made graphs.
Jesse Eisenberg Monologue
Jesse’s monologue is interrupted by Andy as Mark Zuckerberg and then the real Mark Zuckerberg. I enjoyed all the things surrounding the real Mark like Andy and Jesse comparing their Zuckerberg techniques and Lorne not knowing who the real one is but it seemed to all be building to a stilted conversation read off cue cards. What’s gonna happen when the real Zuckerberg meets his movie counterpart? Nothing. They’re just gonna read some lines.
Once Daily Estro-Maxx
Well, this didn’t age well. But I’d argue it wasn’t funny to begin with. An incredibly transphobic premise about a once a day pill to replace your multiple estrogen pills. The transphobia comes from the fact that the only joke is ‘guys with boobs’.
Mr. Wizard's World
A demonstration on static electricity leads to Jesse and Nasim furiously rubbing balloons on their genitals. They end up riding a generator in an act of pubescent discovery. Fun performances from Nasim and Jesse, I specifically enjoyed Jesse placing Nasim’s balloons directly where he wanted them.
Don't Forget The Lyrics!
Jesse keeps getting the lyrics to popular songs wrong. It’s super repetitive, once he does it once you’re just waiting for him to do it again. I did enjoy Kool & The Gang’s Celebrate turned into an anthem for Saddam Hussein.
WXPD News New York
2nd appearance of Herb Welch is a little more fun than the first. He reports on a college drug bust, asks questions about the Brooklyn Dodgers, and attacks people with his microphone. We also get a continuation of the running joke of Herb dying at the end of each broadcast.
The Creep
Even with an introduction by Jon Waters this doesn’t work for me. The song isn’t that catchy and it doesn’t work without the visuals. Nicki Minaj didn’t add much to this ode to creepy voyeurs with pencil-thin mustaches.
Nicki Minaj
"Right Thru Me"
Weekend Update
Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak talks about the government shutting off the country’s internet access. He blames Time Warner and promises to rule for another 30 years.
Bride Of Blackenstein
Robert Osbourne shows us a blaxploitation film where the bride of the monster has the mouth of a ho that didn’t know her place and a big old booty. Bill steals this sketch as an angry villager who talks like a 70s pimp and stands up for Kristen’s flat and shapeless butt.
Skins
The sexy and controversial teen soap opera has lost all of their sponsors so they are forced to do product placements for Kennedy Fried Chicken and Skank Ass Foot Powder between their sexual dialogue. I think this could have benefited from being pre-filmed. Four people standing in a straight line talking isn’t the most interesting thing to watch.
Spa Talk
Kristen promises to release stress on her talk show set in a spa. Jesse, Vanessa, and Bobby are all Jersey types who yell why Kristen smears mud on their faces. Then they complain because the mud is made of turtle poop. This was a big ol’ dud. None of this worked for me.
Nicki Minaj returns with "Moment 4 Life"
El Shrinko
El Shrinko is a pill for men with penises that are just too big. It ships in a giant bottle so everyone will know your penis used to be really big before you started taking it and now your penis is the appropriate size. The testimonials from Nasim, Vanessa, and Kristen were really funny as they’re obviously not aware of what product they’re selling.
FINAL ANALYSIS
2.4 Stars
MVP
Bill Hader
Once Daily Estro-Maxx, Mr. Wizard’s World, WXPD News New York, Bride Of Blackenstein, El Shrinko
Best Sketch
Bride Of Blackenstein
Worst Sketch
Spa Talk
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
Cut Zuckerberg from the monologue and cut Once Daily Estro-Maxx. I could also do without the Digital Short but it’s not harming anyone.
Host Analysis
Fine, nothing exceptional but perfectly serviceable. He had a consistent energy all night which I kinda appreciated. Even his Igor was a very Eisenberg-y character.
Final Thoughts
I was surprised that the sketch average was so low as I came away enjoying this one. But looking back on it, this was real inconsistent. Good sketch, weak sketch, good sketch, weak sketch, a stinker, and an unfunny and transphobic commercial. I feel like the good outweighed the bad here. This was entirely decent. Weekend Update was forgettable and I’m not the biggest Nicki Minaj fan but I had a perfectly adequate time watching this.
Up Next
Dana Carvey returns to the show with musical guest Linkin Park
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