"There is such a thing as too much doggy style"
Cold Open: Moderate Candidate
2 Stars
Bush and Gore create the ultimate moderate candidate
Al Gore is practicing addressing the nation from the White House with some encouragement from Bill Clinton, both played by Darrell. Will comes in as George W. Bush, drinking a beer and partying with some frat brothers. The two discover that they have a remarkable amount of similarities. They're both for the death penalty and cutting welfare and against campaign finance reform and gun control. They decide that if they combine forces they can create the ultimate middle of the road candidate. We get a time passage montage and then out pops Horatio from a cocoon as Al W. Bush-Gore. He gives a battle cry for the mediocre and shouts "Live from New York...". This was fine but a little slowly paced. I've mentioned it in other recaps but, I never found Darrell Hammond a dynamic screen personality. He's kinda like Rich Little (who he impersonated on SNL), a guy who does a lot of impressions but never really makes you laugh.
Heather Graham Monologue
Al Gore is practicing addressing the nation from the White House with some encouragement from Bill Clinton, both played by Darrell. Will comes in as George W. Bush, drinking a beer and partying with some frat brothers. The two discover that they have a remarkable amount of similarities. They're both for the death penalty and cutting welfare and against campaign finance reform and gun control. They decide that if they combine forces they can create the ultimate middle of the road candidate. We get a time passage montage and then out pops Horatio from a cocoon as Al W. Bush-Gore. He gives a battle cry for the mediocre and shouts "Live from New York...". This was fine but a little slowly paced. I've mentioned it in other recaps but, I never found Darrell Hammond a dynamic screen personality. He's kinda like Rich Little (who he impersonated on SNL), a guy who does a lot of impressions but never really makes you laugh.
Heather Graham Monologue
3 Stars
The male cast hits on the host
Heather is quickly interrupted by Tim who takes her backstage to his special relaxation place. He unzips his pants and Heather is disgusted. Will then comes out to advise her to stretch and then takes her backstage to take an important phone call.
"Here's the phone"
"That's not a phone"
"Yeah, but it's for you"
Finally, Chris comes out with a present for Heather, it's a dick in a box. I don't know how I should feel about monologues and sketches like this. On one hand, there's some decent gags here but on the other, I don't like when they treat the female hosts as sex objects. Heather is fresh off of Boogie Nights where she was naked a lot but she's also a pretty talented comic actress and shouldn't be used just for eye candy. Save these monologues for your Pamela Andersons and Elle MacPhersons.
Litter Critters
Heather is quickly interrupted by Tim who takes her backstage to his special relaxation place. He unzips his pants and Heather is disgusted. Will then comes out to advise her to stretch and then takes her backstage to take an important phone call.
"Here's the phone"
"That's not a phone"
"Yeah, but it's for you"
Finally, Chris comes out with a present for Heather, it's a dick in a box. I don't know how I should feel about monologues and sketches like this. On one hand, there's some decent gags here but on the other, I don't like when they treat the female hosts as sex objects. Heather is fresh off of Boogie Nights where she was naked a lot but she's also a pretty talented comic actress and shouldn't be used just for eye candy. Save these monologues for your Pamela Andersons and Elle MacPhersons.
Litter Critters
5 Stars
Turn your cat's waste into fun
A commercial for a new Play-Doh like crafts toy where you can turn cat poop into fun things, like dinosaurs or whistles. You can hear groans from the audience when they show kids playing with cat shit, kissing it and having it dissolve in their hands. I love me some gross out humor when it's done effectively. The little girl blowing on her cat turd whistle and kids beating a cat shit pinata were the kind of visual gags that make for a classic commercial parody.
Sparks
A commercial for a new Play-Doh like crafts toy where you can turn cat poop into fun things, like dinosaurs or whistles. You can hear groans from the audience when they show kids playing with cat shit, kissing it and having it dissolve in their hands. I love me some gross out humor when it's done effectively. The little girl blowing on her cat turd whistle and kids beating a cat shit pinata were the kind of visual gags that make for a classic commercial parody.
Sparks
3 Stars
The Zimmermans ride an airplane
6th appearance for Chris and Cheri's overly-sexual married couple. Here they're on a plane next to Will and Heather. They have double entendre filled conversations about fitting their bag into the overhead compartment and fastening her seat belt. Heather tries to get Will to play the same sex games to no avail. Eventually this leads to a lot of ass slapping and Will grabbing Chris and kissing him on the mouth. I liked the final escalation, can't remember if they've ever ended this sketch with a man on man kiss before. Still, I've seen these characters already and am bored with them.
The Ladies' Man
6th appearance for Chris and Cheri's overly-sexual married couple. Here they're on a plane next to Will and Heather. They have double entendre filled conversations about fitting their bag into the overhead compartment and fastening her seat belt. Heather tries to get Will to play the same sex games to no avail. Eventually this leads to a lot of ass slapping and Will grabbing Chris and kissing him on the mouth. I liked the final escalation, can't remember if they've ever ended this sketch with a man on man kiss before. Still, I've seen these characters already and am bored with them.
The Ladies' Man
3 Stars
Leon Phelps and Rollergirl review adult films
Speaking of characters I've seen enough of, this is the 12th appearance of Leon Phelps in 3 seasons. It's a tad bit of overkill for The Ladies' Man but seeing as how it's Tim's only breakout character in 10 seasons, I forgive him a little bit for going back to this well often. In this installment he's joined by Heather, playing her Boogie Nights character, as they review pornographic films. They talk about An Officer And A Genital Man, The Mod Squat, Space Knockers and Meatballs (which Leon rented thinking it was an adult film). Rollergirl does a monologue from Space Knockers and the sketch is over when the Courvoisier is gone. Much like the last sketch, some good gags but I've seen this too many times to get excited about it.
Where Are They Now?
3 Stars
Catching up with Hans and Franz
Well, I wasn't expecting this. We get a documentary about what Hans and Franz have been up to since their show was cancelled. They appeared on infomercials together, starred in a musical production of Pummela!, worked on the Alan Keyes presidential campaign, split up and reconciled when Franz ran into Hans performing buttocks readings on the boardwalk. They now spend their days happy with their muscles and posing for change. Apparently this was produced for the 25th anniversary special but was cut for time so they threw it on the show. I wouldn't have minded a few of these sporadically placed around the season. It would have been fun to catch up with The Church Lady, The Richmeister or Fred Garvin, male prostitute.
NetAid
Well, I wasn't expecting this. We get a documentary about what Hans and Franz have been up to since their show was cancelled. They appeared on infomercials together, starred in a musical production of Pummela!, worked on the Alan Keyes presidential campaign, split up and reconciled when Franz ran into Hans performing buttocks readings on the boardwalk. They now spend their days happy with their muscles and posing for change. Apparently this was produced for the 25th anniversary special but was cut for time so they threw it on the show. I wouldn't have minded a few of these sporadically placed around the season. It would have been fun to catch up with The Church Lady, The Richmeister or Fred Garvin, male prostitute.
NetAid
1 Star
Musicians sing to end global poverty
This must have been a topical sketch back in 1999, today it's just a selection of bad impressions singing songs. Chris Kattan plays Bono, Jimmy does his David Bowie, Heather is Jewel and Tracy Morgan is Busta Rhymes. How well does Tracy pull off a Busta Rhymes impression, as well as you would have expected, by which I mean it was bordering on sad. Parnell and Ana play vee-jays reporting on the event and how poor attendance is. There are no jokes in this. It's a series of musical impressions but none of the impressions are any good.
Weekend Update
This must have been a topical sketch back in 1999, today it's just a selection of bad impressions singing songs. Chris Kattan plays Bono, Jimmy does his David Bowie, Heather is Jewel and Tracy Morgan is Busta Rhymes. How well does Tracy pull off a Busta Rhymes impression, as well as you would have expected, by which I mean it was bordering on sad. Parnell and Ana play vee-jays reporting on the event and how poor attendance is. There are no jokes in this. It's a series of musical impressions but none of the impressions are any good.
Weekend Update
"Don't play games with me, I have a drivers license"
One lady in the audience with a cackling laugh is really digging this. I wish I could join in on her amusement. There was a joke about Anne Heche and Ellen DeGeneres keeping their fingers crossed for same sex marriage and how the crossed fingers has enhanced their sex life that made me chuckle. All the other jokes just had me staring at my TV. I did enjoy Colin's debate with 6 year old Jasmine. He brings on a little girl to talk about teacher salaries but ends up berating her for her poor debate skills, eventually telling her that mommy and daddy are going to break up because she never went to bed on time.
Marc Anthony
"I Need To Know"
I wasn't a fan of this song at the time. It's not bad, it's just really repetitive and is gonna get stuck in my head for a week.
Dog Show
1 Star
A talk show with dogs
This. What is this? I don't like this. I skipped season 23 and the first 3 incarnations of this. Looking ahead, I only have to endure one more of these this season. So, I got that going for me, which is nice. I really dislike this. Will and Molly seem to be the only people who find this funny. So, good for them. They do a dog seance. Heather's dog pretends to be Molly's dog's mom and then inhabits the body of Will's dog. Scott Wainio appears in this sketch as their keyboardist. That's all I got. I no like this.
Blair Witch
This. What is this? I don't like this. I skipped season 23 and the first 3 incarnations of this. Looking ahead, I only have to endure one more of these this season. So, I got that going for me, which is nice. I really dislike this. Will and Molly seem to be the only people who find this funny. So, good for them. They do a dog seance. Heather's dog pretends to be Molly's dog's mom and then inhabits the body of Will's dog. Scott Wainio appears in this sketch as their keyboardist. That's all I got. I no like this.
Blair Witch
3 Stars
Lorne, Time and Heather explain the lack of a Blair Witch Project parody
The big hit movie of 1999 was The Blair Witch Project but the season premiere didn't make reference to it. This was intentional as the writers felt that too many other shows have already spoofed the low budget horror movie. Instead they took the money and sponsored a child from Ethiopia. They have recovered footage of the child and it's very reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project. So it's doing a parody while also saying that it's lame to do a parody. Pretty decent stuff. The reveal of the African child in the tent with the flashlight made me giggle.
Marc Anthony returns with "That's Okay" which I liked better than the first song. It was also thankfully short. Did Marc Anthony really need two songs though? Especially so close together. I got Weekend Update, Marc Anthony, 2 sketches and then Marc Anthony again.
Three-Way
The big hit movie of 1999 was The Blair Witch Project but the season premiere didn't make reference to it. This was intentional as the writers felt that too many other shows have already spoofed the low budget horror movie. Instead they took the money and sponsored a child from Ethiopia. They have recovered footage of the child and it's very reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project. So it's doing a parody while also saying that it's lame to do a parody. Pretty decent stuff. The reveal of the African child in the tent with the flashlight made me giggle.
Marc Anthony returns with "That's Okay" which I liked better than the first song. It was also thankfully short. Did Marc Anthony really need two songs though? Especially so close together. I got Weekend Update, Marc Anthony, 2 sketches and then Marc Anthony again.
Three-Way
2 Stars
A couple discusses the awkward sex they had with the babysitter
Parnell and Heather come downstairs after having sex and we reveal that she is the babysitter and she has just had a threesome with her employers. They all talk about the ordeal, mainly that Chris seemed more into Heather than he did his wife and he kept his shirt on the entire time. This wasn't bad but I wish it would have been dirtier. It got a little risque when Ana made a euphemism about a meal she served up getting left cold and uneaten but this could have been a lot racier for the last sketch of the night.
FINAL ANALYSIS
Parnell and Heather come downstairs after having sex and we reveal that she is the babysitter and she has just had a threesome with her employers. They all talk about the ordeal, mainly that Chris seemed more into Heather than he did his wife and he kept his shirt on the entire time. This wasn't bad but I wish it would have been dirtier. It got a little risque when Ana made a euphemism about a meal she served up getting left cold and uneaten but this could have been a lot racier for the last sketch of the night.
FINAL ANALYSIS
"I will miss you Earthlings, I will miss your dongs"
Average
2.6 Stars
MVP
Tim Meadows
Monologue, The Ladies Man, Blair Witch
Monologue, The Ladies Man, Blair Witch
Best Sketch
The Ladies' Man
Worst Sketch
Worst Sketch
NetAid
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
How I Would Have Lorne Michaels-ed It
So this is where I try to pretend that if I reorder the sketches it will make the show flow better. But when everything is a recurring character there's not much you can do. Episode like this just bore me. I've seen all of these sketches before, but now Heather Graham is in them. The one thing I would do is either limit Marc Anthony to one song or move his first song to before Update.
Host Analysis
Meh. She wasn't terrible but she wasn't great. She was hampered by being in a lot of stale recurring sketches where she just got to play second fiddle. I could see some flashes of what she could bring in a better episode but that's probably due to the fact that I had a crush on her when I was younger. This is Annie Blackburn from Twin Peaks, I need to at least pretend to like her.
Final Thoughts
Final Thoughts
Too. Many. Recurring. Characters. The Zimmermans, The Ladies Man, Dog Show, we even got a flashback to recurring characters of yesteryear. This episode is going to leave my brain as soon as it entered it and just get lumped on a pile of 20 other episodes hosted by pretty women who just got thrown in a Church Lady sketch. This is a trend I've noticed, the second episode of an SNL season is usually pretty weak. I don't have the statistics to back that claim up, just something I've noticed. I watch the first episode of a season and get real excited only to have all that go away in the next show.
Up Next
Pretty much the reason I chose this season, Norm MacDonald hosts with Dr. Dre, Eminem and Snoop Dogg. I had this episode on VHS tape when I was younger but either the VCR shut off or I just stopped recording because I don't think I've ever seen the end. I remember the monologue and a sketch where Norm plays Lou Gehrig. I love Norm so I'm going into this one with high expectations.
Up Next
Pretty much the reason I chose this season, Norm MacDonald hosts with Dr. Dre, Eminem and Snoop Dogg. I had this episode on VHS tape when I was younger but either the VCR shut off or I just stopped recording because I don't think I've ever seen the end. I remember the monologue and a sketch where Norm plays Lou Gehrig. I love Norm so I'm going into this one with high expectations.
Fun fact it is Will's voice in the look out bit with Heather Graham in Austin Powers 2.
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